<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, kieran culkin]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, kieran culkin]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/kieranculkin http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/kieranculkin <![CDATA[The Culkin Brothers Split Over Water]]>

While waiting in line for a screening of Pineapple Express, famed siblings Macaulay and Kieran Culkin got into a very heated debate over the quality of their bottle water. Macaulay felt that while the water could've been a bit colder, it was still refreshing and satisfying. However, Kieran felt that water was bland and too predictable. Macaulay pointed to his brother towards the various brands of flavored water available at the theater, but Kieran just shook his head. A crowd quickly formed around the brothers who asked the brothers to debate more topics. One onlooker commented, "These two guys should be the guys replacing Ebert & Roeper. You can really tell that they don't like each other."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

]]> http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=399932&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Zac Efron Joins Matt Damon's Weight Gain Club Just For Fun, Not For The Art Of Any Craft]]> It's pretty remarkable how someone as femme and shiny-haired as Zac Efron can achieve every man’s goal of perfecting abs, biceps and pecs in the span of just one year. Last we checked, Zac was just a teenage song-and-dance kid who adored his skinny jeans collection, not a member of the Beefcake Of The Month club. As painful as this is to admit, we kind of, maybe, possibly may have had highly illegal and disturbingly hot dream scenarios in which we get to grab Zac’s abs, biceps and pecs. As in the old version. Let us know if you agree after a quick look at how Scrawny Efron compares to McCounaghey Body Double Efron:

Yes, even with his hipster tighty stretch jeans and slim calves post-workout, Zac 1.0 was the epitome of our every tween to teen girl's fantasy boyfriend. He could sing! He could fake love for vocally decent but dancing-challenged Vanessa Hudgens! He won the gold medal for "Most Wanted" celebrity in something called The Celebrity Black Book in 2007! This new and improved (or as the Brits like to call it, "wee and weedy") transformation into a muscle-tee sporting poster child for steroids' unpleasant side effects has minimized our crush to shameful Kieran Culkin levels of perviness.

[Photo credits: Splash]

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