The line-cutting happened at last year's Met Costume Institute Ball, and the bitter memory is still fresh in supermodel Moss's mind. She relived the trauma at the end of a lengthy interview in this week's New York:

And the thing is, we stood in line for an hour or something to say hello to the meet and greet in the receiving line. Donatella is in front of us, and Francesco Clemente was behind us with his wife, who I knew from back in the day. And we're going, I can't believe this. You can't smoke. You can't have a drink.
When we got to the receiving line, this lady came up and said, "We're sorry, they've all gone to their tables." We were like, What? Tom and Katie just walked right up to the front, and we were like, Who the fuck are they? They're not even in fashion!

Who the fuck are they, indeed.

Moss will have everyone know she was personally invited to host this year's ball by Anna Wintour and Marc Jacobs, so she won't have to worry about missing out on the meet-n-greet, thanks to Hollywood carpetbaggers or whatever.

But let this be a lesson to all you movie industry A-listers during Fashion Week: You can spend your celebrity cachet in the fashion world, but the conversation costs will probably come back to bite you.

[via Digital Spy]

(Click on any image to begin gallery)

Andy Dick, comedian

How drunk: Groping minors, getting arrested — classic Andy Dick, basically.

Latest: Nabbed by the police in Murrieta, California for drug use, posession of marijuana and Valium and for sexual assault after Dick grabbed a 17-year-old's breasts at 2am outside (sigh) "Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar."

Outlook: Given his long and distinguished track record, a relapse is virtually guaranteed.

Low point: Beaten up at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles in July 2007 by fellow comedian Jon Lovitz, who blamed him for the death of comedian Phil Hartman since Dick allegedly sold cocaine to Hartman's wife, a recovering addict, before she killed Hartman.

Jessica Simpson, singer

How drunk: Drunk at lunch, but not drunk driving.

Latest: Perhaps distraught at pictures of ex-flame John Mayer with actress Jennifer Aniston, Simpson last week went on a four-hour margarita binge at LA's Mexicali Cocina Cantina that ended with her friend puking under the table and Simpson abandoning her car.

Outlook: Her clean track record offers hope this was an isolated boozing, but she needs to get over Mayer.

Low point: The restaurant thing. Simpson was once a goody two-shoes, having started singing in a Baptist church before transitioning to harmless teen pop. She remained a virgin prior to her first marriage.

Amy Winehouse, singer

How drunk: Epically.

Latest: Thinks her home is inhabited by ghosts; caught smoking crack or something on video; punched, headbutted and stiffed three different people over the course of a single night; has a skin condition associated with crack addicts.

Outlook: Will probably deteriorate until she runs out of money or comes, somehow, closer to death. Rumors continue to circulate she'll seek treatment abroad, for example in Israel or South Africa. Whatever — these reports have been floated repeatedly in recent months and have yet to pan out.

Low point: Probably whatever is in the British tabloids on any given morning. Has had major issues at least since she's been famous. Her first U.S. hit was called "Rehab," after all.

Drew Barrymore, actress

How drunk: Engagement-breakingly, allegedly.

Latest: Dumped by actor Justin Long (whom she reportedly planned to marry) after he "got tired of having to help Drew to the car at the end of the night," according to the National Enquirer. After battling drugs and alcohol as a child star, Barrymore thought she had things under control.

Outlook: Decent: Continues to work, and normally tends to keep herself out of the tablouds.

Low point: Entering rehab at age 14, having already snorted cocaine.

Mischa Barton, actress

How drunk: Problematically.

Latest: Pled no contest to drunk driving charges dating to December, got three years probation and mandatory alcohol-education classes.

Outlook: Decent. Has largely avoided the tabloids save for the December incident. Recently declined to join the case of Gossip Girl to work on another project, so apparently staying (soberly) busy.

Low point: Puked in the street last year while partying with celebrity friends Kirsten Dunst and Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

Kirsten Dunst, actress

How drunk: Not? Rehabbed and hopefully not backsliding, despite that one rumor.

Latest: Dragged All Good Things co-star and rumored boyfriend Ryan Gosling to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, a recovery no-no. Is fresh out of two-month rehab stint in April.

Outlook: Decent chance of a relapse. She's 26 with no kids or long term relationship, and with one hell of a track record.

Low point: When so many anonymous tipsters emailed us about her getting drunk around New York that we had to run a special report.

Scott Weiland, singer

How drunk: Problematically.

Latest : The bipolar Stone Temple Pilots frontman served a 10-hour prison term earlier this month for a November drunk driving incident, his second in five years.

Outlook: Worrisome. With a wife of eight years and two children, hopefully the drunk driving incident was just a rocker's aberration, but it was his second in five years.

Low point: A two-month drug binge with Courtney Love in a hotel in 1998. Runners-up: Convicted of buying crack in 1995 and of driving drunk in 2003.

Eva Mendes, actress

How drunk: Menacingly, but supposedly all better.

Latest: Checked herself into the Cirque Lodge rehab facility in Utah in January to "privately attend to some personal issues."

Outlook: Bad. Has taken a movie role playing a Spanish drug lord in Queen of the South. This could mean the rehab stint was just method acting; more likely the drug lord role will do to Mendes what Less Than Zero did to Robert Downey Jr.

Low point: The recent rehab. No history of erratic behavior, unless you count posing topless in Italian Vogue.

Sean Young, actress

How drunk: Freshly rehabbed as of February.

Latest: Completed a sting in rehab earlier this year after being ejected from a Hollywood awards ceremony for bad behavior.

Outlook: Poor, due to a history of emotional volatility and bizarre behavior. According to Wikipedia, her role in Wall Street was reduced due to fights with Oliver Stone; she was sued by actor James Woods for harassment; she unsuccessfully tried to win a role on Batman Returns by confronting the director in a homemade Catwoman costume; she was fired from the movie Dick Tracy. Her last marriage ended in 2002.

Low point: Heckled director Julian Schnabel during his speech at the Director's Guild of America awards in January. Believed to be intoxicated, she was escorted out.

Justin Chambers, actor and former model

How drunk: Not. Finally getting rested after a recent hospital stay.

Latest: Checked himself into UCLA Medical Center with what he said was a sleep disorder. But after his discharge, was spotted passing out and acting bizarrely at the Village Pub in Palm Springs.

Outlook: Good, if you make the difficult assumption he's telling the truth about his sleep disorder and that reports he was only drinking non-alcoholic beer at the pub are true.

Low point: The Village Pub incident.

Miley Cyrus, singer and actress

How drunk: At 15, has possibly never been drunk. Then again, maybe there is something to these pictures of her stumbling out of a club in Hollywood.

Latest: Her scandalous, topless-except-for-a-sheet photo spread in Vanity Fair, obviously. Also, she keeps emailing underwear pictures to her boyfriend, which somehow end up online. None of which indicates she is on a path toward drinking or addiction, just that she is growing up and clearly ready to move beyond her goody-goody image on the TV show Hannah Montana.

Outlook: Very good. But the relentless pressure from Disney to never grow up could finally make her snap.

Low point: Vanity Fair incident.

Kate Moss, model

How drunk: Modestly, and only via booze. Yay!

Latest: On the one hand, she's reportedly engaged to be married, practicing yoga and tending to her fashion line. On the other, she looked scary and strung out in the last of these February pictures, and sometimes will randomly go without underwear. In March, she had a "boozy lunch" in Paris and then licked her boyfriend's neck.

Outlook: Good. She's avoided any public cocaine relapses over the past three years, though clearly drinks sometimes. She should be further grounded by continuing to raise her daughter, six, and by a reported engagement to guitarist Jamie Hince.

Low point: In 2005, was famously photographed by British tabloid the Daily Mirror snorting cocaine at a recording session for Babyshambles, band of her junkie boyfriend Pete Doherty. She was subsequently dropped by both Chanel and Burberry and entered rehab.

Courtney Love, singer

How drunk: Epically.

Latest: Despite recently handing out sobriety advice to Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears and declaring herself rehabbed, Love was spotted in London this spring looking drunk and carrying copious prescription drugs, which she has abused in the past.

Outlook: Poor. Love insists she's reformed but somehow few people are convinced.

Low point: So many to choose from! Probably the time she thought she was going to die so her hangers-on, according to Love, stole $20 million.

Lindsay Lohan, actress (at one point, apparently)

How drunk: Constantly, visibly and criminally.

Latest: Accused of stealing someone else's fur coat from a nightclub. Also recent: getting plastered with her girlfriend at Hawaiian Tropic Club, falling limply while trying to get into a car outside a Hollywood.

Outlook: Surprisingly pretty good. She's getting good report cards on the set of her new movie, and is a newly minted femme lesbian.

Low point: When walking medicine cabinet Courtney Love told her she really needed to shape up. Also: five car incidents in three years, including one where she was alleged to have been chasing someone in her car while drunk.

Naomi Campbell, abusive supermodel

How drunk: Unconvincingly reformed.

Latest: Campbell is trying to redeem herself following a spitting, racial-epithet-hurling attack on police at Heathrow airport. She bought coffee for cast members of TV show Ugly Betty and smiled at Heathrow police.

Outlook: Poor. Campbell has falsely claimed to be reformed in the past. In 2006, Campbell told W magazine, "Some people can handle a drink or a line of cocaine, but I’ve finally come to realize that, for me, it’s all or nothing — and it has to be nothing." She was later photographed drinking wine at dinner.

Low point: In 2006, after being arrested for her latest cell-phone beating of the help, she was forced to scrub toilets as part of a community service sentence. She claimed the experience was sobering before moving on to further meltdowns.

Pat O'Brien, TV host

How drunk: Freshly rehabbed, working again — for the second time.

Latest: Entered rehab in February (his last rehab had been in 2005). Despite speculation to the contrary, he returned to his hosting gig on The Insider.

Outlook: Weak, since he has relapsed once before.

Low point: A drunken, horny voice mail left prior to his most recent rehab stint.

Paris Hilton, attention-mad socialite

How drunk: Very, but in a totally older, more responsible way.

Latest: Hilton now says she's become more domestic, staying home (heavens!) some nights and even cooking dinner for serious boyfriend and rocker Benji Madden. She's taken to wearing a diamond ring on her wedding ring finger and reportedly even talks of children.

Outlook: Precarious. Marriage and increased sobriety are possible; more likely is a breakup and total Hilton meltdown. The starlet has failed at reform before: The Times in March reminded everyone that Hilton still had not taken a charity trip to Rwanda or set up a transitional home for women, as promised on Larry King Live following a jail term.

Low point: Was sent to jail for repeatedly driving on a license suspended in connection with a drunk driving conviction. Runner up: When her cat was reclaimed for alleged neglectful treatment.

Nicole Richie, actress, fashion plate

How drunk: Minimally.

Latest: Richie gave birth in January and subsequently said her daughter and relationship to boyfriend Benji Madden, the girl's father, gave her life new meaning and helped her "move on" from her wilder days. Richie's friend Paris Hilton is said to be hoping for a similarly grounding relationship with her boyfriend, Benji Madden, brother to Joel.

Outlook: Decent. Richie raised $1 million by selling pictures of her baby, and her dad Lionel is rich, so she's well funded to either raise a family or have a Britney Spears-style post-baby meltdown. She's 26 so the chance of the latter is not insignificant. But there are no immediate warning signs.

Low point: In 2003, was arrested for possession of heroin. Runner-up: Becoming dramatically thing after a falling out with party buddy Paris Hilton and a brief jail sentence on drunk driving charges.

Britney Spears, wayward singer

How drunk: Only on Frappuccinos (this month).

Latest development: Spears is back in the recording studio, has appeared in repeated successful TV cameos and gained new visitation rights with her two sons after a court commissioner said he was "extremely impressed" with her progress.

Outlook: Good, for now. With her father in control of her money and many aspects of her life, Spears is unlikely to backslide anytime soon, particularly given how much she wants to regain custody of her kids. The question is whether she'll be able to stay sober once she has her kids back and is in full control of her bank account.

Low point: Flashing her vag to paparazzi in 2006 while clubbing with Paris Hilton. Runners up: Her two psych-ward stays this year; brief, recent relationships with scuzzballs Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi; shaving her head and bashing a car with an umbrella.

Robert Downey, Jr., actor

How drunk: Stone cold sober.

Latest: Downey's film Iron Man has been a critical and financial success, with Downey now expected to take part in sequels. He appears in blackface in the forthcoming comedy Tropic Thunder with Ben Stiller

Outlook: No reason to think he's anything but clean and sober from here on out. Unless you've heard something. What, have you heard something??

Low point: In 2000-2001, when a series of arrests saw him kicked off the hit TV show Ally McBeal. Struggled with drug abuse throughout the 1990s, and eventually served at least a year and a half in jail and several years on probation and in drug treatment.

After making PETA's 2005 Worst Dressed List and earning particularly mean reason from the group's trademark bag of bitchy tricks, ("If she keeps on wearing fur and eating at Carl's Jr., she'll be back on the list next year as Star Jones."), Paris allegedly sat through animal torture videos from China and promised to stop wearing fur. As a reward, PETA removed the "heirhead" from next year's list. Christina Ricci followed a similar path after making the 2006 list, sitting through a Martha Stewart expose (shudder) on how mean it is to hurt the fuzzy wuzzies, and PETA obliged by removing her from the list as well. And the always crafty Lindsay Lohan managed to put a stop to her inclusion on the 06 list before its release date by assuring the PETA prez she was working on "weeding out" fur from her wardrobe. Too bad last month's whole fur bandit shenanigans didn't exactly make our favorite chic lesbian look like a woman who keeps her word.

As for those stars who've decided to fight back against all the haters at PETA, Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen have made the Worst Dressed List more than a few times, but quietly made their reactions known by including tons of animal fur in their clothing collection last year. As for the queen of Best Dressed Lists (just not PETA's), fur lover extraordinaire Kate Moss has continued to sport everything from beaver to rabbit to mink to who knows what kind of lizard skin onesies after hours despite PETA's threats and cutting remarks ("Nothing completes the transition from supermodel to super tramp like a fur coat.")

Bonus: Britney Spears, endless black hole of lovely surprises, was cut from PETA's poll earlier this year because, according to a PETA spokesperson, she "needed a break." While it doesn't quite fully endear us to the red paint sabotage army, we can't help but think that it's a positive gesture.

[Photo Credit: X17, Bauer-Griffin]

• TOP FIVE REASONS ONLY STUPID GIRLS BRAG ABOUT EATING MEAT [PETA Blog]
• EXCLUSIVE: PETA NAMES WORST DRESSED CELEBS OF 2008 [Us]

Despite having represented Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle fragrance in addition to appearing in campaign after campaign as the brand's moody red-lipped rep since 2001, Kate Moss and her contract were kicked to the curb months after the supermodel's famed cocaine tape hit the tabloids in April 2005. Though Keira Knightley was loudly announced as Moss's replacement, Kate very quietly usurped a bit of Keira's thunder by re-entering the house of French glamour after her comeback hit its stride a year later. But by far the most publicized partnership between Chanel and star occurred when Nicole Kidman appeared in a short film directed by Baz Luhrmann to promote her new role as iconic fragrance Chanel No. 5's porcelain-faced embodiment.

But all the hullabaloo and fanfare came to a stop when Kidman became pregnant, irking Chanel and causing them to pull yet another switcheroo, hiring fellow French star Audrey Tautou to take over the reign. As Tautou's star remains lukewarm, industry insiders began buzzing with the surprising and off-kilter news that none other than heiress to the grunge throne, Frances Bean Cobain, would begin appearing front and center as Chanel's new ad girl. But Cobain's upward momentum towards the fashion world's limelight never materialized, and having perfected the art of sudden blows, Knightley is now rumored to be ousted as Watson prepares for her year or so of acclaim and glossy ads. We just hope Emma manages to keep the apparently very short attention spans of the Chanel bigwigs, or at the very least, has the stamina to turn her inevitable drug- and Britney-flashing downfall into a glittery comeback like Kate.

• 'POTTER' STAR WATSON GETS BIG PAYDAY [MSNBC]

As the Daily Mail reports, Moss was on her way back to her hotel after a night of celebrating Velvet Hour, her new fragrance which presumably smells like a floral mix of baby powder, laxatives and regret, as one silky hair extension broke free and landed (in a very photo spread-worthy fashion, actually) right on the red carpet outside the party. Though Moss didn't appear to care, distracted by bouts of nose-swiping instead, a paparazzo took it upon himself to grab the fake golden locks and we expect to see the flawless token on auction sites any second. Should this have happened to say, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton last night, the hair piece would maybe rack up a decent hundred bucks or so, but this is Cocaine Kate! There might even be a few snortable crystals in the threads! We predict the bidding to begin at a few thousand euros at the very least. And in a late-night state of self-degradation, Britney may even find herself the lucky winner.

[Photo credits: WENN]

• KATE MOSS LOSES HER HAIR (EXTENSIONS)...ON THE RED CARPET [Daily Mail]

Martha's Vineyard Detox Diet: Followers include ridiculously skin-and-bones supe Gisele Bundchen, weight loss master Robin Quivers and the muscular Madonna. The 21-day detox promises devotees to shed 21 pounds in that many days "by subsisting on live juices, enzymes - and regular colonics." Fun!

The Master Cleanser: Reportedly what Beyonce used in order to nab her Dreamgirls role, Vince Vaughn allegedly follows the lemon juice liquid diet, and Jared Leto shed his Chapter 27 weight by drinking the "water mixed with lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper" cocktail as well. Yum!

Dr. Joshi's Holistic Detox: Fans include the clavicle-flashing Gwyneth Paltrow, original waif Kate Moss and currently slim Ralph Fiennes. The main focus is avoiding acidic and toxic foods, but the downside hardly sounds worth it, and sort of explains Kate's moody expressions in photo after photo: "Users report headaches, stomach pains, nausea and fatigue." Even more fun!

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage, FilmMagic]

• CELEB DETOX DIETS MAY PROVE HARD TO SWALLOW [NYDN]

"Now you know the thrill of wrapping your legs around a tornado of pounding pistons..."

Kate really has that whole '60s thing down. She does seem worried that there might be leeches in that water, though.

The heels! On those boots! Are crazytown! Also: French Vogue never misses a chance to promote smoking.

Seriously? No one should ever be seen in public in this outfit. No one. Not even Ms. Moss.

Raise your hand if you had shorts that were very similar to these when you were in first grade.

Crotch shot! Bet the husky-voiced tattooed chicks who hang at biker bars never knew they were so fashionable.

The girl just don't give a fuck.

Um, tie-dyed bell bottoms aren't coming back, are they? Anyone? Bueller?

I remember back in the day when Kate's Obsession ads hit and everyone was freaking out and shocked and OMG anorexic heroin chic and now she just seems so normal.

Spoiler alert! Here's how the movie ends:

Earlier: French Vogue: The Wind Beneath Our Wings
I Can Has Jeetann? C'est LOLVogue En Faux Français
French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!

News broke of Moss and Hince's engagement in October, and while a date has yet to be set, the lovebirds have been spotted in How Dare You! paparazzi photos recently, as Moss feigns shock and disgust upon spotting shutterbugs capturing her unbridled love on camera. First, the two were caught dining outdoors in full view of passersby...

And then paps saw the (shocked and annoyed!) pair out and about on the streets of London at night, seemingly in the middle of an argument. We suspect Jamie was taunting Kate for wearing that same damn fur coat she used to swish around with during her Petey days...

And finally, the "vampire" photo in question, which, in our humble and not so modest opinion, looks like an innocent slip of the tongue on what most women's magazines will have you know is an "erotic zone" or some such rubbish like that. But can Kate's impressive tongue, drama-filled street fights and erratic choice in boyfriends really result in a fairy tale come true this time? We'll be keeping our ears peeled in between practicing Kate's oral maneuver on various aghast randos this week:

[Photo Credits: Splash News]

• KATE MOSS SUPERMODEL JAMIE HINCE COULD BE VAMPIRES [The Sun]

"Kate's pins reminded me of one of my favourite snacks - the Jaffa Cake."

"If [Courteney] sees these pix she'll no doubt be rushing off to the same doctor as DEMI MOORE to make hers the bee's knees.

"Judging by Eva's skinny knees she needs to put on weight. Tunnock's, send her a truckload of tea cakes."

"Heavily-pregnant JENNIFER LOPEZ proves she is a bigger star than ever as she heads for a party with her hubby — and her knobbly knees."

• SOPHIE'S GOT TOBLERONE KNEES [The Sun]

Considering the fact that Moss's fashion career grew more successful than it ever had been post CoKateGate, we suspect Klein knows exactly what he's doing by casting an otherwise-unimpressive actress in a starring role, just as she happens to hit the skids. As you'll recall, within days of Moss's 2005 snort scandal, she was dropped from million-dollar deals with H&M, Burberry and Chanel. But within two years, she'd scored countless new contracts. Burberry even reneged and offered her her former contract back, and TopShop jumped on the comeback bandwagon last year by giving her the chance to design her own (sold-out-within-minutes) collection.

But back to Mendes: the actress, though beyond gorgeous, is no Kate Moss when it comes to iconic figures in fashion. Which leads us to groan and bring up a little lady named LiLo, whose deal with Jill Stuart was perhaps the most short-lived in campaign history: weeks after shooting ads for Stuart in Tokyo, Lindz had her first run-in with the law (and a tree). We're not betting types, and sure, we hope Mendes/Klein turns into a Moss-like rise from the dead, but the prospect of Mendes putting on Cokepants by accident seems slightly more likely than Mendes becoming the new Cindy Crawford, no?

• EVA MENDES: CALVIN KLEIN'S LATEST OBSESSION [TMZ]

The waif of a model usually in search of a pusher became a pusher herself yesterday — helping a friend push n' pull a Mercedes out of the mud on the super-duper-model's 2million Oxfordshire estate. We don't know why Kate didn't just call for backup from the local towing service, unless the Virgin Media money's already been used up on yay. Or maybe she just didn't mind getting down n' dirty to help a pal out. Hell if we know the real reason, and although we don't know as much about modeling as Ms. Moss, what we do know is you shouldn't park a Mercedes C-Class — or really any car with standard tires — in a mud field. Plus, isn't she preggers or something? Full gallery of her handiness in a tug-job below. – Ray Wert

Kate Moss The Pusher Car [celebpic.blogspot.com]

Related:
Paris Hilton: Still Dumber Than Shit; Exclusive! Roadgoing Mosler Delivered to George Lucas; more celebrities and cars [internal]

Thai wedding for Kate and Pete [Sun]
EXCLUSIVE: THAI DO - KATE AND PETE HITCHED [Daily Mirror]

[Photo: Getty]

Frankly, we are mildly surprised that anyone with as much drugs in his system as Doherty can procreate, let alone, you know, do the deed. And there's some joke in there about doing coke for two.

EXCLUSIVE: KATE IS HAVING A BABY [Sunday Mirror]

"It came from a couple bites on the Internet that collided," says James Schamus, Brokeback producer and longtime Lee collaborator. "It showed up on one of these gossip sites, and Ang and I were like, 'Huh? What?' I'm a Dusty Springfield fan but it's all completely fabricated."

And with one brief and bemused denial, the lip-smacking fantasies of millions of eager straight men ready for their equivalent of Brokeback's seminal Jake-taking scene (perhaps Kate could have played a recording studio after-hours cleaning woman who just happens to wander in while Theron's Dusty is rehearsing, and the two quickly surrender to the forbidden she-goodies at their disposal...but we digress) are snuffed like a gay cowboy's cigarette after a satisfying night of fly-fishing.

• Lee quashes 'Dusty' rumors [The O-Factor]
• Previously: Ang Lee Wins Back Straight Men With HLA [Defamer]

"Brokeback Mountain" director Ang Lee is said to be thinking about Kate Moss for a lesbian role in his forthcoming move about singer Dusty Springfield. Moss would play a socialite lover of Springfield, due to be played by Charlize Theron.

It's a brilliant, almost-everyone-wins scenario: Gay men will show up in droves to see a masterful cinematic retelling of the life of one of their most beloved pop icons, while straight men and lesbians will delight at the deliberately paced, artfully lit Theron-Moss sandwich scenes. Only the straight female demo is underserved, though Lee is said to have plans to remedy that with his still unchosen follow-up project, with the director reportedly leaning favorably towards the as-yet-untitled "Matthew McConaughey as Incorrigible Womanizer Who Secretly Has Heart of Gold RomCom Project."

• Side Dish (Third item) [NY Daily News]

Lohan, Moss and a couple of female friends swanned into the Upper East Side mammary mecca at about 2:45 a.m. and headed straight for the legendary Champagne Room, where the giggly group ordered round after round of vodka shots, raspberry Kamikazes and beer.

Their table was immediately swarmed by strippers and Lohan and Moss enjoyed numerous lap dances. But the fun really started when Moss jumped on the stage nearest the main bar and began grinding against a pole, much to the delight of hundreds of red-blooded banker types.

"Kate was going wild," a witness told us. "After a few songs, Lindsay jumped on stage with her. They were swinging on the pole with their arms around each other's waists, kissing each other, caressing each other, just acting like strippers. The crowd was cheering them on the whole time. They didn't take off any clothes, but it was very hot." [...]

"They were both running in and out of the ladies' room a lot," [paparazzo] Edstrom recalled. "I saw when it was just Lindsay dancing solo and Kate was yelling, 'You're a pro, Lindsay! You should do this for a living!'

Credit Moss with being a great friend; it's not easy to sound sweetly positive about the seemingly inevitable downward trajectory of your starlet pal's career. But this news does seem to present another opportunity for Lohan's brilliant publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnick, to shine. We expect her to dismiss out of hand the easy, hacky "no comment" or outright denial options, and instead weave a fantastic tale about how during Lohan's troublingly recent hospital stay in Miami, she received a massive, mistaken transfusion of stripper blood, and clearly can't be held accountable for her actions while her body adjusts.

• KATE, LINDSAY BUMP-&-GRIND [NY Post]
• Lindsay Lohan Writes Scarlett A Sharpie Love Note [Defamer]

We hear that last night at about 11:30, none other than Lindsay Lohan and Kate Moss sauntered into the Dark Room during the Tarts of Pleasure DJ set. Apparently the BFFs were looking for a venue where they wouldn’t be noticed, so Last Year’s Favorite Blow Bar seemed an appropriate choice for two “recovered” drug users. The ladies stayed there for the remainder of the night (presumably because they love hanging out with folks like Carlos D and My Chemical Romance); over the course of the evening, Lohan expressed her fondness for Gang of Four while Moss laid low and acted model-like.

Here’s where it gets more interesting: While in the bathroom, Lohan allegedly asked if anyone had a Sharpie. A fellow patron actually happened to have one and handed it over to Lohan, who then used it to scrawl “Scarlett is a cunt” on the wall. Well done, Cap’n Discreet.

Whatever Lohan's beef with Scarlett (professional competition? some lingering Leto-related nastiness?), at least she was smart enough to scrawl her trash-talk on a bathroom wall, instead of going with the more legally problematic route of having her publicist plant a fake story about her rival in Page Six.

UPDATE: Gawker now has photographic evidence from the incident and the full text of the wall-note: "Scarlett is a bloody cunt / L / Peace and love / [illegible] / fucker."

• Kate Moss and Lindsay Lohan’s Dark Room Adventure [Gawker]