Drew Barrymore and her on-again, off-again puppy-ish ex-boyfriend Justin Long are set to star in a romantic comedy together, this one about long distance relationships. And if by "long distance" they mean the distance between canyons, like troughs of a wave, and how far away the isolation of fame can make you feel even when you're standing right next to someone, then I'm sure they'll both really bring something to their roles. [Variety] State of Play director Kevin Macdonald will travel a long distance... back in time, to direct The Eagle of the Ninth, a Roman-times story starring Jamie "Billy Elliot" Bell and possibly Channing "Shut Your Mouth and Drop Your Trousers" Tatum. Promisingly, the logline begins as such: "a wounded Roman soldier and his loyal Celtic slave..." Hm. [Variety]

Some British lad has joined the cast of the new Twilight movie, called Staking 2: Hectic Hullabaloo. Jamie Campbell-Bower, from Sweeney Todd, will play one of the Voltrons, an Italian clan of vampyrs. [Variety] Zack Snyder's "Alice in Wonderland with machine guns" Sucker Punch has found its lead. Emily Browning, that little girl from Lemony Snicket, will play an asylum inmate who creates a violent fantasy world in her head. She's joins such acting luminaries as Abbie Cornish and Vanessa Hudgens. [Variety]

Those tangled up in the flailing New York City film industry can step back from the ledge for just a second. New York State legislature has voted to extend the lucrative tax break program that buoyed the local industry for another $350 million worth of tax credits. TV shows looking to film in New York may be deterred by the new conditions of the program, though, as the credits are not open-ended. There are also strict limitations on how much of a break each production can receive. But still. Good news. [Variety]

The still reliably-employed Lucy Lawless has landed a new gig, one that returns her to familiar ground. She'll again be working with Xena: Warrior Princess creators Rob Tapert and Sam Raimi, this time on a series (for Starz, sigh) called Spartacus. She'll play the tough bosslady of a camp of gladiators. This comely fellow will play the title role. [Variety] Speaking of comely fellows, NBC and DirecTV have renewed their laboriously-praised joint venture Friday Night Lights for two more seasons. So more of Riggins and Hoodad and Whatshisnuts, ladies. Go team! [Variety]

The Wackness director Jonathan Levine is directing a movie for Fox Atomic about a babysitter. No, it's not some big-breasted young lady who gets horribly taunted and murdered, it's a boy who has funny things happen to him! The Sitter, which "will harken back to Adventures In Babysitting", is about a college student suspended for a semester who returns home to live with his moms. Then he has to babysit. Hilarity ensues. [THR]

MTV has ordered four more seasons of its crazy old coot of a series The Real World. This will bring the total for the 17-year-old reality thing to a haunting 26 cycles. The producers are currently filming a Cancun-set season, so where will these four new installments take place? Atlanta? Dallas/Houston? St. Louis? Orlando? Adamsville, RI? Emblem, WO? What do you think? Oh, also... four more seasons of Road Rules, too. So. [THR]

Boomp3.com

Sporting her finest cut-offs, Spider Man trilogy star Kirsten Dunst stopped off at a Early Voting facility. After she walked out of the voting booth, Dunst did her best Palin Dance to celebrate her decision to rock the vote. Dunst quickly added, “I may be doing the Dance, but it doesn’t mean that I voted for her. Although, I would love to see Tina Fey have all that work.”

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

This week's installment also includes: Clint Eastwood, Jerry Seinfeld, Ryan Phillippe, Kirsten Dunst and Justin Long, Farrah Fawcett, James Woods, Dane Cook, John C. Reilly, Lauren Conrad, Ellen Pompeo, P. Diddy (twice in the same night!), Jared Leto, Kevin Federline, Sandra Oh, Seth Green, Balthazar Getty, Pete Wentz, Briam Baumgartner, Zachary Levi, Ciara, Adam "Seymour Butts" Glasser and more.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21
· Sitting in a booth at the recently re-opened Fab's on Van Nuys Blvd in Sherman Oaks at 8pm, Mr. "Hey, Spike Lee, Shut Your Pie-Hole" himself, CLINT EASTWOOD, speaking in hushed tones while dining with Sinatra's favorite opening comic, Tom Dreesen. I couldn't hear if Clint said to the waiter, "Go ahead, make my Chicken Marsala." Even at 93 [Ed. Note: He's actually only 78], Clint looks like he could kick some serious butt.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 22
· It was celeb night on Friday 8/22 at the AMC theater at the Century City Mall. Spotted PETE WENTZ standing outside with friends. His hair is flat ironed to oblivion and he is short, almost alarmingly so. Kept his hoodie on the whole time. Jessica's pregnant sister was nowhere in sight.

Then, a few minutes later, ELLEN POMPEO (that's Meredith Grey to you) walked by hand-in-hand with her hubby. Super skinny and wearing gross, skin tight white jeans, white shirt with trashy sky high black heels. They were in a rush which made her look like she walks funny because she clearly couldn't handle those heels. We decided she was dressed like a Staten Island prostitute.

We decided to hold out a few more minutes on the hope we would spot an elusive A-lister. And before we knew it, PUFF DADDY walked by sans entourage! He is indeed puffy. Mr. Mogul needs to get back to running marathons for charity. He was wearing sunglasses. At 10:30pm. And he was texting while walking briskly. Who says men can't multi-task?

· Equinox West Hollywood. PUFF DADDY (again!) makes his entourage wait in the juice bar while he grabs a steam.

· JUSTIN LONG and KIRSTEN DUNST were spotted Friday night at the Dragonfly, checking out the show Point Break LIVE! She sat behind him w/ her girlfriends, but Justin kept turning around to talk to her & see her reaction to the craziness onstage.

·Bristol Farms, West Hollywood, 5:30PM (ish). Looking determined to get out and towing a tow-headed child: RYAN PHILLIPPE. Taller than I would have expected, and beefier (but by no means tall). I don't know if he's moved to the neighborhood but the shopping cart was brimming. In case he is, a word of advice: I know it's technically West Hollywood, but the look you should be going for should be more "Daddy out shopping for groceries with my kids on Beverly" and less "Out shopping for a Daddy to buy my groceries on Santa Monica".

SATURDAY, AUGUST 23
· He's not a household name, but with 33 film and 40 television credits, let's just say I was surprised to see SEAN WHALEN selling blenders at the Burbank Costco on Saturday, miked up, dressed in a white lab coat and white paper hat. He usually plays nerds, but now he's extolling the virtues of raw food smoothies. Ouch.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 24
· Sunday night at the Radiohead show. Saw SANDRA OH with several dudes scrambling to get to their seats. She looked flustered, yet excited. Also saw SETH GREEN in line between songs waiting for beers. He was sporting a trucker hat and has a big, shaggy red beard. He looks like he belongs under a bridge waiting for three billy goats gruff.

Lastly, also saw BALTHAZAR GETTY near the beer line between songs, wearing douchey skinny jeans and chomping on cigarettes. Dude looked like he was having way too much fun, like he'd just ditched his wife and kids for a hot chick who likes to bang while only wearing a sailor's hat. Oh, wait...

· As I approached the cool 'n' groovy Santa Monica/Fairfax Whole Foods, I saw two paps outside aiming their lenses into the store. Store security blocked their view. I heard someone say, "She's the one in orange," and then noticed LAUREN CONRAD in a cute orange summer dress, casual hair, grinding her own peanut butter near the bulk grains. No, she did not have an assistant to pour in the peanuts and press the button for her. When I left she was checking out, the paps were lining up, and the Whole Foods security guys, looking vaguely energized, were preparing to escort Ms. Conrad to her vehicle.

MONDAY, AUGUST 25
· Monday night, Radiohead at the Bowl. After briefly encountering JARED LETO (dressed a bit like Shia in Indiana Jones) on the concourse leading a small scuzzy posse around and claiming that he had extra seats, I was surprised to see him all alone in the pool circle up front where I was seated (second row, yo!). Jared apparently ditched his "boys" and tried a bum rush to get up front as the lights went down. Multiple security guards stopped him and he immediately went into "Don't you know who I am?" mode. At first it was high-larious, but then it became a bit pathetic. And then it became a lot pathetic. He just would not give up. It didn't matter. They hauled him away just before the band came out and killed it.

I'd like to believe that Radiohead hates Jared's stupid fucking band and the noise pollution he calls music as much as I and everyone else at the show does, and that they ordered security to remove him from their immediate vicinity, but more than likely Thom Yorke has never heard of 30 (Minutes? Miles? I refuse to google.) to Mars. To Thom, it was probably just another dumb asshole without a ticket getting the boot from the front. Which is exactly what it was.

·Saw JAMES WOODS on 8/25 on Burton Way near Raffles L'Ermitage Beverly Hills. He was on the phone and completely plugged into it. Looks pretty good for a man his age. No sign of his 20 year old girl anywhere.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 26
· Comedy Antichrist DANE COOK was at Crunch. His name was on the marquee at the Laugh Factory across the street, so I'm guessing it was some sort of pre- or post-show routine. If you imagined that he'd work out in a backwards baseball cap and muscle shirt, thereby confirming your image of him as a superannuated, doughy-faced, overgrown frat boy - you'd be correct.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27
· Two fun (separate) sightings. Saw Kevin (BRAIN BAUMGARTNER) from Scrantonicity (and, yes, The Office); and, Chuck (ZACHARY LEVI), from, well, Chuck at the Studio City Starbucks. Both taking meetings around the corner at the NBC/Universal building? Kevin wearing shorts, Chuck driving a gas-guzzling Chevy Tahoe. Bad choices, boys.

· Eyed R&B sensation/masturbation fantasy CIARA placing a to-go order at the El Pollo Loco on Sunset and Crescent Heights around 4:40pm. Body was insane.

· I was walking back to my office from Rick's Tavern yesterday around 8:35pm going South on Main St when, lo and behold, JERRY SEINFELD was walking the opposite direction. He was with a group of like 3 or 4 friends and looking casual but good. Hoodie and glasses and admiring the motor bikes parked on the street.

· Saw Seymore Butts (born ADAM GLASSER) in the Miracle Mile Marie Callender's today. No cameras, no nudity, no sex acts being performed. But seriously, I saw Seymore Butts!!!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 29
· Walking through the hallways of a building deep in the heart of Toluca Lake around 3:30pm is FARRAH FAWCETT. Farrah raised her head to look me in the eye with a a look that said "Yes I am Farrah Fawcett and don't talk to me" Farrah had heavy duty perfume situation going on that wafted in the hallway well after she left the building. Christie Brinkley is about the same age as her but Farrah looks like she has been through the ringer and had a rough, rough hard drinking, hard partying, heavy tanning life. Use sunscreen, kids. Use Sunscreen.

· Not sure if KEVIN FEDERLINE is a real "sighting" but we saw Father of The Year at Malibu Seafood on Friday. Did not look overly douche-y. Was with a few guys, both whom I recognized but neither that I could place.

· We saw JOHN C. REILLY out in Dublin's (as in, Ireland) posh south side last Friday. We couldn't remember his name right off. We called him "Not-Will-Ferrell". He didn't seem to mind.

[Photo Credit: X17]

Boomp3.com

A medical professional must have been on hand at the Chateau Marmont to keep popular silver screen star Kirsten Dunst from busting a gut. The Spider Man star was laughing uncontrollably at the antics of Mac pitchman and ex-flame of Drew Barrymore, Justin Long. Dunst was thoroughly impressed by Long's comedic culinary consumption antics, even going as far as to say that Long is way funnier than "that Charlie Chaplin dude." Long reveled in the attention, even going as far as to moonwalk a piece of chicken into his mouth.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Though it's been pushed ahead to a 2010 release date, Disney is already building buzz for Prince of Persia: The Dreamy Eyes of Time, hiring CalArts Sensual Belly Dance majors to mingle and jingle with the crowds.

Yes—that is Emmy-nominated Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron enjoying the warm weather and local color.

Spot the Scout Willis! Call 1-800-DEMI KIDS for hints. ($2.95 per minute.)

• Sunset Junction 2008: street scene [Metromix LA]

Boomp3.com

Mac Guy Justin Long took a moment out of his undoubtedly busy schedule to chat up with a couple of Mac fanatics over the weekend. The friendly females gushed over Long's performance in Waiting before launching in a diatribe against the iPhone 3G and all of its problems. Long told the ladies that he had no control over that and admitted that he was having problems as well. Looking to change the topic, Long ran his fingers through his hair, which accidentally created a trigger effect with his female fans. Thinking he may have stumbled onto a Pied Pieper like ability, Long then ran his fingers through his mane one more time to see if the women would once again follow suit. He was crushed to learn that it was a one-time only occurence.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Instead of Corey Feldman, try Corey Haim: At the time of Drew’s fling with Feldman, picking between the two Coreys was a matter of Eeny Meeny Miney Mo, Catch A Cokehead By The Toe. Judging by their subsequent trajectories, Drew may have made the wiser choice. But it’s the other Corey, sent to the bottom of his pill bag by Defamer commenters, who currently needs all the help Drew’s strawberry-scented guffaws can bring.

Instead of Luke Wilson, try Owen Wilson: Maybe back in the late 90s Luke seemed like the more intriguing Wilson. His nose wasn’t quite as broken as his brother’s, Owen hadn’t bewitched us all with his Hans in Zoolander, and Luke had yet to permanently banish himself from crush lists by actually sharing screen time with Jessica Simpson. But if Drew goes back to the Wilson well, Owen is clearly the front-runner these days.

Instead of Tom Green, try Dane Cook: Because the barren landscape of horrendously unfunny comedians has a new mascot, and Drew’s fondness of sticking her tongue down her boyfriend’s throat might be the only way to shut this one up.

Instead of Justin Long, try PC Guy: Because John Hodgman is a treasure and deserves some action. Bonus points for Drew if she agrees to film a cameo in the next Apple commercial, makes Justin cry, short-circuit whatever totally awesome new Mac he’s holding, and permanently erase that smirk from his face.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty]

• STAR EXCLUSIVE! DREW BARRYMORE AND JUSTIN LONG: IT'S OVER! [Star]

• EXCLUSIVE: Rep: Drew Barrymore & Justin Long Split [usmagazine.com]
• Star Exclusive! Drew Barrymore and Justin Long: It's Over! [starmagazine.com]

According to the weekly, it was none other than controversy-free Jennifer Connelly:

"Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. 'Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover.'"

Though we suspect Johansson would have been the target of Aniston's venom had she been free for the shoot, we're more than a little surprised to hear Connelly received the wrath (and the boot) from the other Jennifer. While Barrymore met her own boy toy Justin Long on set and Ginnifer's still dating Katie Holmes' leftovers, these two are unmarried just like Aniston. Connelly's been married for centuries in Hollywood time, and has kids to prove it. Which, of course, makes perfect sense on second thought. If Aniston wasn't going to "hit it off" with one of the movie's other leading ladies, it would have to be the sole hitched actress. We suspect Connelly's ejection had less to do with personality clashes than Aniston's desire to appear like a Barrymore/Goodwin peer, all single and tan and carefree, rather than part of the mature woman's yin to the young gal's yang.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty, FilmMagic]

• JENNIFER ANISTON AND JENNIFER CONNELLY HAVING OFF-SCREEN FEUD [Celebritique]

Though inching your digits inside the shorts of your incredibly hot girlfriend may not be the classiest move, we'd watch a porno starring Enrique and Anna any day. As for Drew and Justin, the more photos and TMZ clips we see of this couple, the more we approve. They're cute. Even when they kiss in cars. Which is usually just plain awkward. And so what if TomKat are nutcases? This classic dip Tom pulled off in Rome early on in their relationship is as romantic as it gets.

Oh dear. The boob-grab from behind? While making eye contact with some other chick off-camera? Sorry Billy Bob, but that whole crass thing you made work with Angelina became instantly uncool the second you dumped her. As for this picture of Britney Spears gleefully grabbing K. Fed's crotch on a balcony for all the paps to see, well, even writing a snarky comment on it might make us physically ill. And just in case you didn't think the idea of kissing Nicole Kidman was horrifying enough, Us has thankfully provided us with proof. Yeah, thanks. A lot.

[Photo credits: INF, Flynet, Bauer-Griffin, BE Images via Us, Wireimage]

• CELEBRITY PDA! [Us]

boomp3.com

Drew Barrymore recently complained to friends over her dissatisfaction with her iPhone. The Charlie's Angels star doesn't have the heart to tell her boyfriend, Mac Spokesperson Justin Long, that she wants to go back to her old phone. Barrymore explained that she enjoys watching YouTube videos like the sneezing panda whenever she feels blue its just that her Blackberry is her Blackberry and she needs it back. One of Barrymore's friend thought that the iPhone and the Blackberry pretty much did the same thing to which an angry Barrymore replied, "The iPhone is good and all, but the Blackberry is like the phone that God would use if God ever had to make a conference call."

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

Sounds like bad news to us. Of course, this forces us to dredge up the painful memories of that gleeful marriage proposal that Tom Green made on SNL in 2000, which ended up with Drew playing the part of runaway bride. Another thing we noticed? All these lesser-famous paramours of Drew seem to have one thing in common: after the inevitable breakups, their star power coincidentally takes a well-timed leap...

For example, Fabrizio Moretti had always been "the hot one" among The Strokes, but after hooking up with Drew, he earned mag profiles and spreads, and raging hordes of new female fans. Then there was Tom, who we suspect may not have even been asked to host SNL if it weren't for the potential presence of Drew in the audience. And Long? He's gone from That Annoying Mac Guy to Next Big Thing ever since word spread that the two had met and fallen for each other on the set of He's Just Not That Into You. We can only pray that this "worldwide announcement" involves not yet another live proposal, but the very first live break-up on national television.

[Photo Credit: BauerGriffin]

UPDATE! Us has mysteriously removed their story featuring those beachy pics. Developing...

• DREW BARRYMORE AND JUSTIN LONG'S SEXY MEXICO VACATION [Us]

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Edward Norton; Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Josh Kelley; Michael Cera and Maura Tierney; Ted Danson; Ellen Page; Robin Wright Penn, Tori Spelling, Scout Willis; Jason Schwartzman, Ron Livingston, and Elizabeth Reaser; Orlando Jones; Diahann Carroll; Wilford Brimley; Famke Janssen; Joel McHale; David Annable; Roma Maffia; Katherine Moennig; Sendhil Ramamurthy; Mystery and Alex Orbison. In England: Nicolas Cage.

· Vince Vaughn ambled past me last night (12/19) on Main St. in SM. The usual: Tall, thick, somewhat haggard. Was wearing one of those big insulated parka jackets and chatting loudly with an equally tall friend I didn't recognize. He looked thinner than he did at the Fred Claus premiere. I thought VV was an Eastside carouser, to what do we westsiders owe the honor, I wonder?

· Just thought I'd let you know that I saw Drew Barrymore and Justin Long arm in arm at the Murakami exhibit in downtown Los Angeles on Sunday, December 16th. I first spotted them giggling nervously in front of the Murakami statue depicting an anime-style character with a huge penis and a vortex of sperm shooting out of it. Like everyone else, they couldn't help themselves. I saw them around the exhibit at least 2 more times after that, looking flirty and sweet. Drew is even prettier in person...and Justin needs to shave off that silly moustache!! He's too cute for it. But it was a good sighting, and
added to the surreal environment Murakami created.

· 12/12 - mandy moore (who is beyond nice every single time i run into her), ryan adams (supposedly. didnt look like him to me but he was holding hands with her and someone said it was him), and josh kelley (who is actually way too awesome and nice to just be called mr. katherine heigl) at the ben lee show at el rey theatre.

12/14 - motherfucking edward norton rolling up to rza at the el rey. so gangsta. he was tall and skinny with a badass black leather jacket.

· Dec 12, 2007

Location: Birds. That post-collegiate, paparazzi-free bar next to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Franklin Ave.

Juno male lead, Michael Cera with a group of his friends, drinking and socializing. I thought he was taller, he stands at about 5'10"... maybe a half inch more.

Maura Tierney, ER Doctor Abby Lockhart, drinking and chatting away with some nondescript guy. I thought she was taller, she stands about 5'3" maybe (on a good day) 5'4".

Both were sitting on opposite ends of the room, oblivious to the others presence. As is the protocol in this celeb-drenched neighborhood, everyone left them alone.

· Monday - 18 December - Standing outside L'Occitane at the Malibu Country Mart, looking all tall, super skinny and gangly was Ted Danson, all alone, looking a bit lost and perhaps disoriented. I imagine if I'd tapped me some Whoopi Goldberg, I'd still be disoriented, too...wtf was he thinking?

· How I miss LA. Recently moved to the east coast but had to pass through LA on the way to Lihue. Flight 69 leaving LA on 12/14 around 1:40 After unexpectedly getting bumped to first class I find myself sitting 2 rows in front of Ellen Page. She was with some tall blonde guy named Sean. They seemed nice enough and they both, though underage, surprisingly, avoided the free booze they were regularly offered throughout all 6 hours of the flight.

· 12/16 - All within a couple hours and on one block on Beverly Blvd. in Beverly Hills: Robin Wright Penn (flawless) strolled by smiling with her kids in tow. I rode in an elevator with Tori Spelling, her adorably chatty baby boy and her lively, all-male entourage. Scout Willis (middle spawn of Bruce and Demi) held a parking garage door open for me.

· A few unrelated sightings on Sunday, December 16:
While enjoying the vegan-y goodness of Real Food Daily, my special ladyfriend and I spotted Jason Schwartzman sitting at a table with several friends. This was actually the second time we've seen him there—and why not? It's a damn fine eatery and I'm not even vegan; I just like stuff that tastes good. When peeking over at Schwartzman became tiring, who should walk in but Ron Livingston and Elizabeth Reaser (who co-starred with Livingston on an episode of his show 'Standoff,' but is best known as the lady with the crushed face who, once surgically made attractive again, left her family for Dr. Karev on 'Grey's Anatomy) and an attractive brunette lady we did not recognize.

· Also, earlier in the day we happened upon Orlando Jones walking his large and slobbery-looking bulldog in a quiet residential neighborhood that shall be kept private, lest overzealous Defamer-reading Orlando Jones fanatics bother him at home.

· Wow, what a wonderful woman. Diahann Carroll (for those of us of a certain age, aka Julia) came into the City National Bank at Sunset and Doheny Road on the edge of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood. She looked as wonderful as she did a few months ago on Oprah. The woman is an icon. She waited in line and chatted with another woman who appeared to be a friend. No drama, polite, elegant and looking great. And no I am not her publicist. Just happened to be there at the same time. It made my day.

· Driving down a very congested Wilshire Blvd at the Beverly Hills Country Club on Thursday 12/13 was none other than Diabetes testing supplies salesman and co-star of Steve Guttenberg in Cocoon, Mr. Wilford Brimley. I'm always fond of C-list sightings and below but this one was made infinitely better by Wilfred rocking the cherry red Mustang Convertible. All I wanted to do was roll down the window and shout, "have you checked your diabetes!?"

· b-list boom on sunday, 12/16.. lunching in los feliz, complete with sunglasses was host of e!'s the soup, joel mchale... then, later at pizzeria mozza was the statuesque (and impossible to pronounce) famke janssen. tall drink of water....

· Dec 17 - I believe all those reports of MK Olsen "dating" with David Annable are complete BS because I just saw him "canoodling" with a different young white girl waiting on line at the Coral Tree cafe line at the Century City mall food court.

·Spotted a radiant Roma Maffia (Nip/Tuck) having brunch at Campanile with 2 other ladies. Curious, is she a lesbian in real life too?

· Dec 17 - "The L Word's" KATHERINE MOENNIG, smiling (!!) and radiant, at OK Gallery on 3rd with her equally ectomorphic girlfriend.

· 12/19 - Sendhil Ramamurthy (Dr. Suresh on Heroes) walking alone and bagless at the Grove. Blue baseball hat and blue tee.

· Sunday 12.16 Only one person at King's Road Cafe dressed for the occasion should a rave and/or the apocalypse suddenly break out and that would be Mystery from VH1's "The Pick Up Artist."

Monday 12.17 Roy Orbison spawn and Kat Von D humper Alex Orbison was buying spinning shoes (really, wtf?) at I. Martin.

Special Nic Cage UK Christmas Edition:

· My first sighting in a long time, surprised that I still care at 70 years and some, but what the heck...it'll dirve my daughters crazy. "Sunday, Dec. 16: Nicolas Cage at Waitrose, grocery store in Bath, stocking up. Shoppin cart was loaded, but looked like they were only shopping for themselves. Like they were moving in for the holidays. Cute wife and daughter. He had that same tense "ohhh shit" look on his face. Guess it isn't an act, tho shopping on a Sunday at Waitrose is a bit of job if you don't want to be noticed. Knew I recognized him, little nod. Everyone was nice and left them alone.

Once he's forced to embark on a world tour of Alvin and the Chipmunks premieres in which he'll spend countless hours hugging out-of-work actors in infrequently laundered rodent costumes, he'll be quickly pine for the days when he didn't have to do anything more soul-killing than show up to TRL in an oversized sweater and try to sell a kid's movie to an utterly disinterested, Ritalin-addled audience who just wish the fucking Mac guy would shut up so they can see 30 seconds of the new My Chemical Romance video.

• TRL [MTV.com]
• Previously: Bruce Willis Is Getting Really Sick Of Posing With The Fucking Raccoon [Defamer]

In today's episode: Don Johnson; Topher Grace, Seth Gabel, Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Seth MacFarlane, Steve Harwell, Reid Scott and Michael Bunin; Dominic Monaghan; Michael Ovitz; John Cho; Dita Von Teese; Adrian Grenier; Monica Keena and David Anders; Gregg Araki and James Duval; Dizzy Reed; William Mapother; Brandon Davis and Danny Bonaduce.

· A well-preserved Don Johnson was having lunch outside at Le Petit Greek on Larchmont today (9/26). Had this been twenty some-odd years ago, I would've been so excited instead of mildly/hardly amused.

· Post-Arcade Fire at Magnolia on Sunset. Saw a baseball-capped Topher Grace with pervy/sweaty/stabby Nip/Tuck kid, Seth Gabel. They chatted up some girls on the patio before walking off down Sunset. Thirty minutes and one burger later, saw Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan walking towards us arm and arm. She stopped at the valet stand and waited as an attendant got her car, while Rodriguez kept strolling along by himself. After getting her SUV, McGowan drove and caught up with the still ambling Rodriguez further down Sunset where he then got in. Those two head cases seem made for each other.

· Bizarre assortment of C-level celebs at Bar Lubitsch last night (9/26), plus one good one. The C-team: Seth "Family Guy" MacFarlane, the lead singer of Smashmouth (Steve Harwell, and two of the dudes from TBS' "My Boys". ("Brendan" (Reid Scott) and "Kenny" (Michael Bunin), hanging together. life imitating TV art.)

The good one: Drew Barrymore. She's been there a few times lately... with the Mac guy (Justin Long). Didn't see him last night, though. Had a weird feeling when she was standing by our table. I thought, " Who is that? Did I go to high school with that girl? Did we go on a blind date once? Wait, no, it's Drew Barrymore. Right on."

· Saw Dominic Monaghan at the Klaxon's concert at the Henry Fonda (Sept. 26). No girlfriend in sight, but that's probably because she wasn't fired from LOST like he was and is currently filming in Hawaii. Dude is super short - although since he played a hobbit in three movies that's probably too obvious of an observation.

· Last Tuesday Michael Ovitz, wife Judy and three children being congratulated by former CAA cohorts at Ovitz's new restaurant Kumo on Melrose.

· 9/26: Dinner at Canele in Atwater Village, saw John Cho or as my friend who spotted him first put it, "the only Asian actor I recognize, you know, the dude from Harold & Kumar." Ahh... I don't think she watches HEROES. Being 1 and 1/2 asians between the two of us, I replied (silently), "more recognizable roles for Asian-American actors!" Anywho, he's a handsome fellow.

· Saw Dita Von Teese at the Hollywood Bowl Sunday 9/23 for the Rufus Wainwright show (which was amazing). She was waiting in the Will Call line with a less fabulous friend. She looked incredible with perfect hair and make up, and a gorgeous outfit. Unfortunately that outfit covered her well, no free show for us.

· 9/19 7:30pm - Saw Adrian Grenier at LACMA for the Muse reception before the "Into the Wild" screening. He was flanked by two blonde girls who looked like they couldn't tell a Cezanne from a Hockney. He couldn't have cared less about them, choosing instead to direct his attention to the stage where The Good Listeners were performing. He was wearing a black fleece and dark pants, requisite face fuzz, all of which looked good on him. Total cutie.

· Wed, 9/26: The Coronet on La Cienega - Spotted Monica Keena (Dawson's Creek, various guest star roles—she was the girl with the pole through her gut on Grey's Anatomy) sitting at a booth along the bar. Couldn't see who she was with at first, but noticed that she's looking aaaaaaawfully plastic. Remember the 30 Rock episode where Jane Krakowski's character has a ton of work done and Tina Fey goes on about her looking like a burn victim? I feel like a bitch saying it, but poor Monica is approaching that territory. Or maybe she hasn't had any work done and just has a naturally tight skinned-big lipped face! Oh, but then, when she left, I saw she was following David Anders (one of the new Heroes, formerly of Alias) out of the bar. She's very tiny. He's very hot.

· Saw Gregg Araki and James Duval holding court at the Editors show Monday night @ The Wiltern

· Just got back to town and my Internet connection, but did have one very small celebrity sighting to share from a recent trip to Los Angeles. Last Thursday night (9/20), at the Supersuckers gig at the Key Club, just happened to run into Dizzy Reed, keyboard player for Guns and Roses. I know it's not much, but I would hope it's at least a TINY bit more interesting than Nate Corddry or some of the other "who?" I have seen listed in the sightings.

· 2 quasi-celeb sightings in 1 day, although I doubt the first really counts:

Sunday 9/23- a brunching Brandon Davis, famous for being greasy, sleeping with celebutards, and calling Lindsay a "firecrotch", eating with 3 disheveled friends at Mauro's Cafe in Fred Segal. He looked less greasy and bloated than usual. I was sitting next to his table and believe I overheard him talking about a recent visit to the doctor. Draw your own conclusions...

Sunday 9/23- 8 PM
Went out with a few friends for a low-key pastrami-on-rye dinner. Standing with us waiting to be seated was William Mapother- Ethan on Lost and as Tom Cruise's cousin. He was by himself with a stack of magazines and asked to be seated in the back. He was reading intensely the entire time. Very low-key, tall, and better looking than expected. Still creeped me out to come face to face with one of The Others.

· Sep 25 On the JetBlue bus from JFK to Burbank. Danny Bonaduce himself, looking very LA in bestudded jeans, designer tee, and a very, very sparkly rhinestone belt buckle. I had to put my shades on, the glow was so intense. He went to the back of the bus, BTW.

In today's episode: Cher, Matthew Perry, Natasha Gregson Wagner, and Alicia Silverstone; James Blunt; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Forest Whitaker; Felicity Huffman, Cherry Jones, and Sarah Paulson; Karl Malden; Mike Tyson; Famke Janssen; Dominic Chianese; Seth Green, Joel McHale and David Annable; Elizabeth Perkins; Alexis Bledel; Tom Colicchio; Carson Kressley; and Eric McCormack.

· Saw Matthew Perry and Alicia Silverstone (not together) circulating around the rooftop patio before the Frames went on stage at the Henry Fonda last night (9/6). A very petite Cher was with a group of people that included a gentleman who was a dead ringer for Kenny G. Chandler Bing, who looked a little rough, was with a lady who I believe was Natasha Gregson Wagner (not sure though). Didn't see them during the actual concert because it was so awesome, I had tunnel vision.

· 9/6 - saw matthew perry and james blunt at the frames show at the fonda. matthew must be a big fan cause he was at glen's swell season gig earlier last month as well. while he was introducing a song, glen was like "you just want to come back from tour, sit on the couch with your girl while drinking tea, watching Friends, you know?" i looked back and matt and his girl friend were cracking up. and at another point in the set, glen randomly half way through the song "star star" said "this song is for matt." i didn't look back to see if it was for him or not. he is, however, taller than i expected and seems to be aging well. he has kind of a rough look. ok i'm being gay. the end.

· Sep 5 - Drew Barrymore and Justin Long were spotted at Pace Restaurant in Laurel Canyon trying to meld into one being using only their tongues. Ah young love.

· Saw Forest Whitaker filming what I now know is Power Blue (thanks IMDB!) right next to my block on Hollywood Boulevard in the middle of the heat of Tuesday. He was dressed in a Santa outfit, which made me feel bad for him... but then I remembered he's probably getting a few million and his car probably has air conditioning. Dick.

· Went to grab a late lunch at Toast yesterday (9/5) and had just finished telling my companion that every time I go there, I see some celebrity (B or C List status mostly) when all of a sudden behind my back a flurry of activity breaks out. The clack of multiple camera shutters turn my attention to the curb behind me where a funny-hat wearing Kirsten Dunst stands hiding her face from a collection of paparazzo. Stating, "this never happens here," she was brought inside by a server to wait for her car to pull up and whisk her away. Upon getting her the getaway vehicle (face still covered) her little fan club takes off in chase. Sadly, my first reaction that the site of her snaggletooth was that it detracted from the deliciousness of my beloved tuner melt. Sigh.

· In a misguided attempt to beat the sweltering heatwave this weekend, a friend and I caught the Sunday, 5:30 pm screening of the Bourne Ultimatum at the Cinerama Dome at the Arclight. "Misguided" because we thought there would be air-conditioning. Other duped Arclight patrons included: Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Cherry Jones (Tony Award winner) and her girlfriend, Sarah Paulson (of the late Studio 60). Felicity wasn't nearly as thin as I thought she'd be, but if she packed on 10-15 pounds she'd definitely look more feminine (I hate myself for saying that because I really do love her). I also noticed Cherry Jones before I even recognized Felicity.

· Sep 5 - Holy god! KARL MALDEN IN THE HIZZY!

Just hackin' it up on my MacBook at the humble Coffee Fix in Studio City when Skag himself, KARL MALDEN comes in and gets himself a coffee and properly-pronounced croissant. Class act, that Malden.

· Another Privacy Watch, another obligatory Mike Tyson sighting. Saturday afternoon at around 4, (9/1/07) I saw the fearsome Iron Mike speaking to a couple of guys in front of one of those clothing stores on Melrose with one name (which is to say, all of them.) He looked a little chunky, but don't tell him I said that.

· Today 9/7 driving to work on Sunset Blvd. I was stopped at a light and look over to my shoulder and see a very attractive brunette woman driving a Prius in a white wife beater, also stopped at the light. It took me a second to realize it was the comic book movie vixen Famke Janssen.

Also on Wednesday at Cat N Fiddle, as I was walking out after my meal into the courtyard I spotted Dominic Chianese (Junior Soprano) seated and talking with some PYT in the corner. He's still pullin game, god bless his old man soul.

· Well....Bacara resort (in sassy Santa Barbara, actually Goleta for anyone paying attention) was the place to be on labor day weekend. I had lunch at the spa cafe between Seth Green (he's so tiny, he's almost troll status) and is ultra-skinny biatch girlfriend, who were dining and laughing their asses off with Joel McHale (Talk Soup Funny Guy who's a good 6'4") and his wife. Seth ordered the shellfish bouillbase, which my friends and I thought was funny considering the 100 degree plus heat, but Joel picked up the tab. On my other side was Dave Annable (Brothers and Sisters) who was rocking the shirt off, aviator shade look with a tall L.A. looking chick. We all exited at the same time, and Dave was definitely checking out every other girl in the place - classy! But Seth gave no props to Dave who kept looking at him to see if he knew 'he' was....it was hilarious to watch. Seth and his lady hugged it out with Joel and his wife, who then joined us at the Spa pool for a nice salt water swim. A fine way to spend an otherwise boring Monday afternoon!!!

· Thursday Sept. 6: There I was standing in line for my brie and apple panini at Aroma Cafe in Studio City, when the women in front of me in line turns around and I see it's Elizabeth Perkins a.k.a. Celia Hodes from Weeds! She was wearing a cute floor length sun dress and was totally sunburned, or rather, baked.

· Tues 9/4...Cruising west on Sunset, through Echo Park, when I spot Alexis Bledel (or her doppelganger) standing on the street with a couple of people. I can't for the life of me figure out what she was doing there, if it was her...it was a little too far east to be trendy.

· In town for business, I had three celebrity sightings in as many days.

First, Thursday, August 30: Tom Colicchio of Top Chef fame, at his new restaurant Craft in Century City. He was sporting the chef's coat and working in the kitchen, but came out and chatted with some fans. He is fitter in person and his eyes are absolutely piercing blue. He is just as cool as he comes across on television and his new restaurant is amazing.

Friday August 31: Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight guy, filming yet another reality television program at the Promenade in Santa Monica. This one apparently involves women with body self image issues. Carson was invented for television and couldn't have been nicer, but he seems Botoxed within an inch of his life.

Saturday, Sept 1: Eric McCormack from Will and Grace at LAX. Only slightly shorter than I would have expected, he was with his wife and son, both of whom are equally adorable. They sat on the floor, waiting for the flight to Vancouver, and kept to themselves. He has such a distinctive voice and a great smile.