Gawker: defamer, juno lynn spears

The Paparazzi Take A Weekend Trip To Louisiana For Jamie Lynn Spears' Baby Shower

Molly Friedman — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:10:00 EDT

Baby showers tend to be happy, innocuous gatherings dabbled with smiley supportive friends, gushing family members and the occasional guest who clearly doesn't want to be there. But when Juno Lynn Spears throws a big ol' baby party down in sweet home Louisiana, party guests also include armed guards and security detail. Why? Well, big sis Britney came to town, bringing her best pair of booty shorts and that memorable messy blonde bun from her barefoot bathroom escapade days along. The rest of the guest list, including which family member was noticeably missing, after the jump.

While thirty guests were reported to have been invited, the paparazzi which "circled around the house and also in helicopters" were not. But, as we know by now, anywhere Britney goes, helicopters and police will follow. And although father and Britney's official off-site prison guard Jamie Spears was present, People doesn't mention matriarch Lynne Spears among the small group of ladies-only invitees. We can only assume The Package and the grandmother-to-be are going through yet another one of their messy patches.

[Photo credits: Splash, X17]

BRITNEY HELPS JAMIE LYNN CELEBRATE BABY SHOWER [People]

Jamie Lynn Spears Spends 17th Birthday At Wal-Mart, And We Forgive Her

Molly Friedman — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 15:05:00 EDT

Just as we were about to laugh a little bit at Juno Lynn Spears' decision to spend her 17th birthday at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant and going on a shopping spree at Wal-Mart, we remembered back to our 17th birthday and stopped laughing. We were in college, in suburbia, and spent the day in class, then at some chain restaurant with our boyfriend, and probably at the movies in the mall. How quickly we forget that Jamie Lynn is still just a kid! Just because she's grown up before our eyes and starred in a hit show and, well, gotten pregnant, doesn't mean the girl shouldn't abandon her awkward late teen years and all the mall-filled nights that go with them. More details on our favorite real-life Juno and her day of kicking "16 And Pregnant!!!" headlines to the curb, after the jump.

The truth is, we secretly wish our birthdays were still spent more in the fashion of Jamie Lynn's, including one of this very lovey-dovey dinners that gets noticed by other diners. As a source told People, "They were like a little adult couple, very low-key." Like an adult couple? Ahem, notice anything adult just above the waistline? In any case, JL and fiance Casey Aldridge, a very adult-sounding 18 years old, headed to the Wal-Mart near his house in Mississippi after dinner to curiously look at sleeping bags. We suggest Jamie Lynn check with big sis Britney, who's been through this twice before. Britney may have boarded a few yachts, but we don't think she was planning any camping trips at 8 months.

[Photo Credit: Splash]

JAMIE LYNN SPENDS 17TH BIRTHDAY SHOPPING, EATING OUT [People]

Jamie Lynn Spears' Wedding To Include One Hot Body, One Bridesmaid Named Britney

Molly Friedman — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:05:53 EDT

There's some good news and bad news to report regarding Juno Lynn Spears' wedding plans and, in standard fashion, we'll present the bad news first: Jamie Lynn will apparently not be getting hitched, nor moving back to, LA. Sorry to disappoint any of you who adore the sounds of helicopters circling 'round and 'round your neighborhood daily, or the great fun of late-night gurney trips the young mother will no doubt be taking over the next few years. The good news? Jamie Lynn's gonna look hot in her wedding dress! More details on what her trailertastic plan is to ensure she looks "beautiful" walking down the aisle after the jump.

As MSNBC reports via OK!, Jamie Lynn is gonna be a single mom for a while, having decided to wait until after she gives birth and sheds the preggers weight before tying the knot. As the magazine's source says, "I expect she'll want to wait at least several months to get her figure back so she can wear a beautiful wedding gown and then have her dream wedding." What else will that "dream wedding" include? Big sis Britney as bridesmaid. We just hope she remembers to show up sober (and sans donning ripped denim) for this one.

[Photo Credit: X17]

JAMIE LYNN IS ALREADY PLANNING HER WEDDING [MSNBC]

Jamie Lynn Spears' Baby Registry Only Includes One Typo!

Molly Friedman — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:55:00 EDT

Judging by some of the odder items featured on Juno Lynn Spears' alleged baby registry, it seems as though the 16 year-old is hopeful that her precious little one will turn out to be another Spears family cash cow. As People revealed this morning, Jamie Lynn drove over 80 miles from her home in Kentwood to register her bundle of joy at Babies R Us (we're guessing the internet must've been down in Kentwood?). Listed among necessities like strollers and baby monitors priced at $199, the mommy-to-be has picked out some jazzy presents designed to jump start an infant's road to insta-stardom, which will likely come via a role on some Nickelodeon song-and-dance show. See the full list, including the Idol-in-training items, after the jump.

At left, we find the Learn & Groove Musical Table, which "engages and entertains with songs, and features 15 musical activities in both English and Spanish and more than 40 songs and melodies." Surely Baby Juno will master "Soy Un Esclavo 4 U" in no time! At center, the freakazoid Groove 'N Go Music Maker promises to "come to life, playing a unique mix of music and light patterns while dancing around and swinging his arms to the beat!" That beats the way scarier option of being sung lullabies by Aunt Britney herself! Finally, the Take Along Tunes player will "introduce your little one to baby-friendly versions of classical masterpieces by Mozart, Vivaldi, Chopin and Rossini." Who said you can't teach class?

Just in case you're interested in jumping on the registry train, take a peek at the complete list here. But we call dibs on the batteries!

[Photo Credits: X17, Babys 'R Us]

JAMIE LYNN'S BABY REGISTRY: FROM TEETHING RINGS TO CAR SEATS [People]

Jamie Lynn Spears Figures Out How To Distance Herself From Britney

Molly Friedman — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:06:05 EDT

Come April 4th, Juno Lynn Spears will finally turn one year older (and, we can only hope, wiser), at which point she'll finally be able to escape the nasty stigma of being Sweet 16 And Pregnant. But, sadly, she will never be able to escape the stigma of being Britney Spears' sister. At least, not technically. But based on photographs taken of the smiling Jamie Lynn in Louisiana yesterday, she may have figured out a way to distance herself from The Package using nothing but her wardrobe. While we are not necessarily advocating short shorts and visible bras as appropriate outerwear for pregnant teens, when you compare it to Britney's penchant for visible bellies and bikini tops worn as, well, tops, Jamie Lynn looks downright Victorian in comparison.

Just Saying No to cowboy boots and bikinis intended for, well, 16-year olds, has clearly helped Jamie Lynn inch away from the proud Spears family tree. Additionally, Jamie Lynn seems to possess an astonishing ability to run a comb through her hair and adopt the ever-popular librarian look (She's bespectacled! That means smart! Even if she still working on finishing her GED!) when trying to establish intellectual cred. If only she could take a note out of Paris' book and start carrying the Bible around instead of t-shirts and coffee, then we might really think she was a genius.

[Photo Credit: X17]

BRITNEY SPEARS' PREGNANT SISTER, 16, COVERS UP HER BABY BUMP [Daily Mail]