Gawker: defamer, judi dench

Nine Throws Down The Oscar Gauntlet

Dodai — Thu, 14 May 2009 13:30:00 EDT

Judi Dench! Penny Cruz! Nicole Kidman! Daniel Day-Lewis! Kate Hudson! Sophia Loren!!! And, uh, Fergie! And everyone is SINGING & DANCING. [YouTube]

The Quantum Of Cyrus

Mark Graham — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:15:00 EDT

We're still flipping through "The New Classics" issue of Entertainment Weekly that hit newsstands about two weeks ago. And while we feel that, on the whole, the staffers over there put together a pretty thorough examination of the last 25 years of pop culture, we do have a few qualms with their list. Chief among them is the inclusion of Casino Royale, the 2006 rebooting of the Bond franchise, which came in at #19 in their list of Top 100 movies. While it was certainly a serviceable action thriller, we've never quite been able to understand Owen Gleiberman's fascination with the film (he also rated it the top movie of 2006). Sure, the opening sequence was pretty cool if you've never seen Banlieue 13 or The Bourne Supremacy, but for us, the rest of the film was pure, uncut meh. After all, it couldn't have been just us who fell asleep during that interminable card game of Uno* that took up the entire third act of the film, right? But we're getting off track here. What we meant to be discussing all along is the new trailer for JB22, aka Quantum Of Solace, which we have for you after the jump.

Once again, color us unimpressed. James Bond's gone rogue? Um, as we alluded to before the jump, we've already seen that movie. Three times, in fact. Although, we did find it interesting that director Marc Forster (he of Monster's Ball fame) decided to film a scene that recreates this year's most controversial Vanity Fair cover shoot, substituting British babebot Gemma Atherton for the despoiled Miley, in a plot twist that seems on the surface to be more Friedberg and Seltzer than Ian Fleming. If test audiences like what they see and demand that Forster insert a few more pop culture spoofs into his film, then maybe this movie will be worth seeing after all. We've got our fingers crossed for the "I Can Do 200 Of These" guy.

*We're pretty sure it wasn't actually Uno, but like we said, we were asleep.

Quantum Of Solace [Moviefone]

Please Hold Your 'Breast Supporting Actress' Jokes Until The End Of The Program

Mark — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 16:26:25 EST

In an attempt to provide Oscar voters with all the background information necessary to make a thoroughly informed decision on this year's Best Supporting Actress award, the British Sun has helpfully spotlighted the best of all five nominated thespians' previous nude work (link NSFW), performances that no doubt impacted this year's Academy-recognized contributions to their craft. While we'll admit that we're not exactly sure what it means when Penelope Cruz's nipples are compared to "a blind cobbler's thumbs" or when front-running sexagenarian monarch/vixen Helen Mirren's breasts are called a "poignant metaphor of a pair of Wombles' noses snuffling at a plate of truffles," we're sure that their peers will be able to find a way to integrate the tabloid's painstaking research into their upcoming deliberative endeavors.

Breast Supported Actress (NSFW) [The Sun UK]
Previously: Oscar TrendWatch: Hot Old Dames [Defamer]

Oscar TrendWatch: Hot Old Dames

Mark — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 17:10:20 EST

Granted, Meryl Streep isn't a capital-D Dame and the second headline is actually in reference to the favorable gambling odds for a Helen Mirren win, but our point about this year's hottest awards season trend, which we spotted back at the Golden Globes, still holds: Everyone's horny for the mature ladies of Oscar. On this year's red carpet, nubile upstarts like Penelope Cruz will be virtually ignored while E!'s omnipresent cameras capture handsy pre-show inquisitor Isaac Mizrahi lavishing attention upon Mirren's ample, immodestly presented bosom, and as Ryan Seacrest unconvincingly delivers clumsy, scripted come-ons inquiring into Judi Dench's sexual availability.

Senior Sex Symbols Steal the Screen [ABC News]
Mirren hottest Oscar favorite [Reuters]

007 EmasculationWatch: Judi Dench Adds 'Size Queen' To Her Royal Acting Resume

Seth — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:34:12 EST

In a mere matter of weeks, minds will finally be made up over whether Casino Royale's latest Bond incarnation, Daniel Craig, has proven his many, internet-enabled naysayers wrong and was worthy all along of inheriting the superspy's mantle. Still, a little nudge of encouragement from a respected co-star never hurts, such as when Dame Judi Dench recently registered her awed surprise at having caught a sidelong glance at Craig's generously proportioned double-oh-seven.

James Bond actor Daniel Craig has a large penis, according to his 'Casino Royale' co-star Dame Judi Dench.
The British actress caught a glimpse of the hunky actor's impressive appendage as he was getting dressed in his trailer which was situated opposite her own.

Dench, who plays secret service boss M in the new movie, told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me!"

Having some time ago laid our impressionable eyes upon the body part in question, we'll assume Dench's choice of the descriptive "monster" in this instance refers to a supernatural creature of the diminutive sort—a trembling, wet mogwai, for instance.

Daniel Craig's trouser "monster" [FemaleFirst.co.uk]