Boomp3.com

Popular TV doc Katherine Heigl nearly passed out on the red carpet after catching a whiff of her beloved pooch’s breath. Heigl knew her dog’s breath was going to be rather intense, but she obviously underestimated the strength of it. Heigl said, “Looks like we’ll have to up Ronaldo’s brushings to five times a day like his mommy.” Heigl also mentioned she will most likely introduce an intensive program similar to the program she introduced to break rocker husband Joshua Kelley of his bad single-man habits. Heigl added, “It took two weeks, but he learned to love sitting down while going pee.”

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Hot TV doc Katherine Heigl struggled greatly as she attempted to flag down a valet, taxicab, party van or any other motorist in Los Angeles on Monday night. The Bug Buster star was anxious to get back home to catch the latest episode of The Hills since she forgot to record it and rocker hubby Joshua Kelley was off somewhere singing for his supper. After fifteen minutes of arm waving and jumping up and down, Heigl felt that her glasses may have been the problem. Heigl tossed her Tina Fey shades aside and began the quest for attention again. Sadly, the removal of the glasses did not improve Heigl’s chances.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Evidence that even the famous are feeling the sting of the current economic crunch was displayed when Grey’s Anatomy star Katherine Heigl was spotted holding a dollar bill in Los Feliz yesterday. Heigl is interested in refurnishing her home, but she has to stick to her budget. Heigl said, “I feel like that kid in front of the ice cream truck just yelling, ‘What can I get for such and such’. Nobody has been that helpful so far. Just a lot of eye rolling and comments about how I should save it for the valet.” That said, Heigl’s strict budgeting has not affected the necessities. Heigl added, “We’re going to get the biggest HDTV they have at Best Buy. Maybe we’ll be able to write that off as a business expense since I have to see how I look in Hi-Def and all. I heard that I shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory star Katherine Heigl performed a bit of light calisthenics before embarking on a shopping expedition in Santa Monica on Tuesday morning. You see, Heigl got bit of a charlie horse the last time she went to Barney's in Beverly Hills, which left her in a surly mood for a few days afterwards. Heigl said, "That injury really knocked the wind out of my sails. I could barely walk for a few days afterwards. It was great having everybody helping me out. Joshua make daily runs over to the House Of Pies for the chocolate crème pie. It was nice, but I was bit of a pill and there's no need for a repeat performance."

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

In today's installment: Francis Ford Coppola and Pauly Shore (duh!), Tom Hanks, Bob Newhart, Warren Beatty, Woody Allen, Katherine Heigl, The Jonas Brothers, Forrest Whitaker, David Spade, Michael Cera, Johnny Knoxville, Rita Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Rose McGowan, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, Bobby Trendy, Joshua Kelley, Kevin Farley, Tila Tequila, Robin Antin, Charlyne Yi and more.

MONDAY, JULY 28
· Very few people impress and awe me as I have lived here most of my life and work at a place where I see amazing people every day. However, Monday while I was trekking up Westwood Blvd to hit Un-whole Foods for lunch when my jaw dropped. Coming out of Rite Aid was none other than BOB NEWHART. It was such a total shock. He is a national treasure. He should be escorted around in a popemobile or something that fits his stature, not hobnobbing with mere mortals. Then, the next days, I was having an apres earthquake lunch with a friend at The Stand and, what do you think, she tells me that she just saw Bob at the CVS south of Wilshire! He seems to be making the rounds. Gotta love him!

TUESDAY, JULY 29
· FORREST WHITAKER indulging some fans outside ONE Sunset. Not as big as I thought he'd be.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 30
· I spotted JASON SCHWARTZMAN in the Staples on Sunset. He wasn’t holding any office supplies, but he did look like a man on a mission. Very handsome, although much smaller than I would have expected.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 1
· I was celebrating another lamb to slaughter (aka bachelorette) party on Friday night at the busted "club" Tao in Vegas that's in the Venetian/shopping mall. Our table and both area ended up being a thoroughfare for ho's who wanted to hop on a near-by platform type area that faced the DJ booth blaring out a medley of top 40 thru the years. FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA was sitting on the other side of our booth —just sitting— fat, old and alone and no one seemed to pay him much mind. I was still contemplating the surreal aspect of his presence and wondering why the fuck he would be wasting his time in such a lame place when I almost got knocked over by PAULY SHORE. I assumed he was in a crazed rush to get to FFC, imagining this as his moment to get on cinematic top due to a magical chance meeting with a great director at a club in a mall. I positioned myself to get a full view of their sure to be awkward exchange. It took PS about 10 minutes to get up the nerve to bumrush FFC and it was over quick. It soon became clear that the real story of the night was PS's apparent need to commute to Vegas for club pussy. He sat on the platform for hours grabbing and pawing at any tallish, blonde-ish Forever 21 dress model that danced within his grasp. I saw only one of them give him the hands-off, the rest all reacted quite favorably. It was truly incredible. I can only assume that Paulyy takes the LV tourism ads to heart. Perhaps rejected and dejected outside an LA club one night- a light went on..." Not only will I probably be able to get into clubs there -If everything that happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas..then surely some drunk, vacationing skanks will hit it with me!"
· Seinfeld's LARRY "THE SOUP NAZI" THOMAS having breakfast at Aroma Cafe in Studio City.
· WARREN BEATTY with two young girls (daughters?) and a blond
woman at Humprey Yogart in Sherman Oaks.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 2
· Saw RITA WILSON and TOM HANKS at the Century City Mall with, I think, their youngest son, walking by the Apple store. I recognized Rita first and wouldn't have known it was Tom until I heard him laugh. They looked like a nice, happy family. One of the more normal spottings I've had in this damn city.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 3
· As I was sauntering down the alley behind Fiesta Cantina on my way to one of the WeHo bars that looks like a W hotel, I came upon BOBBY TRENDY with two (real) girls giving advice to some 'roided out queen in a Mercedes convertible. They were assuring said queen that his outfit looked good. Note to 'roided out queen: do not take sartorial advice from fucking Bobby Trendy. He basically agreed you looked good in bleached, capris lengthed overalls (!) with a thin black belt and white espadrilles.
· I spotted the Skanksis of Evil: Piggez Hilton, ROBIN ANTIN of Pussycat Dolls 'fame' and gay rights pioneer, TILA TEQUILA at 11. Piggez was basking in the lamelight of the other two and wouldn't be surprised if he called the paps himself. Not all the cheap beer prices in the 'Ho could destroy those images. And don't you think i didn't try.
· Had multiple celeb sightings at the Dolly Parton concert at the Greek theatre Sunday night. First, saw KATHERINE HEIGL with hubby JOSHUA (who is surprisingly hot in person). JUSTIN CHAMBERS was with them as well. Katherine was wearing glasses, sun dress, looked nice. Waited in line for the bathroom like a normal person. Right after I saw them, a strikingly pale and plasticky looking chick walked by in a yellow dress...turns out it was ROSE MCGOWAN. She was with some dude who wasn't Robert Rodriguez...guess they really broke up, or he's not a Dolly fan. Finally, walking out I nearly bumped into JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, tall and haggard looking, which I guess is the result of beating the crap out of yourself for a living.
· Went to the amazing Dolly Parton show on August 3rd. Spotted a grey-haired JOHNNY KNOXVILLE (with daughter in tow?) and MR. AND MRS. KATHERINE HEIGL Hate to break it to you, but when a fan or two approached her, she seemed smiley and rather gracious. Or maybe I had too much wine.

MONDAY, AUGUST 4
· MICHAEL CERA and CHARLYNE YI having a late lunch at Mustardseed, just now. They were with two other guys I couldn't identify by the backs of their heads. I recognized Charlyne Yi first and then noticed the beloved George Michael whose hair was cropped super short, rendering him naturally incognito.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 5
· Saw those cute Menudo boys [Ed. Note - I'm assuming she means THE JONAS BROTHERS, because surely the members of Menudo can no longer be considered "cute", right?] being rushed to their Delta flight yesterday morn. Security had to grab them as so many little teen girls were hounding them. Gotta luv those boy bands!
· ASHLEE SIMPSON and PETE WENTZ at the Hush Sound show at El Rey Theatre. They chilled in the band's private booth upstairs with all Pete's friends.
· I spotted WOODY ALLEN outside the Los Angeles Shakespeare Theater offices downtown talking to comedian BRENTLY HEILBRON. Is it for this?

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6
· DAVID SPADE (in mesh baseball cap & jacket... in August?) with KEVIN FARLEY at the Steve Miller show Wednesday at the Nokia. Not in the "pit", but close and either playing air guitar or making fun of the folks around them ... which was weird because they were there and clearly fans. (I got free tickets and figured what the hell, but I have to say Steve Miller is rock solid and clearly loved by his fans.)

“I'm not as disciplined about it was I once was, but I hope to find my way back as I get older and a little less selfish...I'm ashamed to say that I've just got very lazy about it. I satisfy my vices instead of fighting them.”

And this is certainly not the first time Hollywood Public Enemy Heigl has spoken out about her “support” of the Church. A colorful collection of quotes she’s given throughout the years on the Mormon religion, after the jump:

On Her Mostly Mormon Friends:
USA Today, 2007:

"I haven't [practiced] since I was about 19 or 20, when I moved to L.A. and was working a lot. I couldn't find a ward I was comfortable in. It kind of petered out mostly because of that. My good friends are Mormon, some of the best people I know."

On Raising Her Kids Mormon:
Glamour, 2007:

"I’m having a glass of white wine right now; that’s not exactly being a good Mormon! But I am really supportive of the Mormon church and so profoundly grateful for the childhood I had. It’s hard work to grow and change and be honest with yourself about your mistakes, and I think the Mormons handle that beautifully. The faith I grew up with has influenced every decision I’ve made in my life — well, except for the bad ones! I haven’t decided yet. I’ve always thought I would raise [my children] Mormon because I had such a wonderful childhood."

On The Church's Influence On Her Childhood:
Vanity Fair, 2008:

"A couple of Mormon families were a great comfort [after the death of her brother when Heigl was seven years old]. Both my parents felt a great desire for answers, and they found an answer in the Mormon church. Everything was kind of a mess for a while. It wasn’t like Ordinary People, where it destroyed that family so badly that there was never finding any joy or loving or appreciating being alive again. But I give my parents unbelievable credit for pulling it together, and I give the Mormon church a lot of credit for helping them to do that.”

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

• KATHERINE HEIGL WANTS TO GO MORMON AGAIN [Star]

boomp3.com

Bride Of Chucky star Katherine Heigl and husband/rocker Joshua Kelley ran into a bit of trouble with an old man while on way to the Coldplay concert. The commotion began when Heigl made a stop in an Los Angeles area neighborhood to pick up an friend. As soon as she stepped out of the car, Heigl was greeted by paparazzi and fans taking pictures. The old man, reportedly named Mr. Johnson, came out storming out of his 2 bedroom ranch when the flashbulbs and clamor made it nearly impossible for him and his wife, Gertrude, to watch America's Got Talent. Mr. Johnson told Heigl that if she didn't leave by the count of ten, he would turn the hose on them. A panicked Joshua Kelley grabbed Heigl and headed into the car, explaining that he didn't want to get his hair wet.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

As Us reported, Jen and her "big professional camera" just could not stop taking pictures of Mayer throughout his Saturday gig overseas, and that contagious British virus notorious for attacking celebrities during their trips across the pond struck Aniston, who became so suddenly turned on by Mayer's dapper black chinos that she took a nose-dive straight into them as paparazzi swarmed in. But her clingy girlfriends are clinging to their own objects of affection (the press) and labeling her clingy yet again! It seems her so-called friends are worried about Jennifer's mode of desperation rising up as it always does, and they've collectively hypothesized that Mayer is just in the relationship for the fanfare! But he claims every decision he makes is "with complete authenticity!" And Sheryl Crow is "happy"! And Owen Wilson could not be reached for comment! And Jessica Simpson was spotted hurled over some bar soaked in tears and memories! And Brad Pitt announced he simply didn't care, thus signaling that light at the end of the tunnel, and we finally remembered we have better things to do.

[Photo credits: Daily Mail, Wireimage]

• JENNIFER ANISTON HITS BOYFRIEND JOHN MAYER'S SHOW [Us]
• PALS WORRY 'CLINGY JEN' IS REEMERGING [MSNBC]

According to Us, Joshua is currently in the process of "learning how to do Katherine’s curlers…if you are wondering why my guitar sounds weird, it’s because I burnt my pinkie on the curlers." Burnt your pinkie? On a curling iron? Ok, it's one (admittedly sad) thing to have this happen to you, but it's another entirely to blab to US Weekly about it. If we were in his shoes, we would've made something up about burning it while barbequeing for the troops or, perhaps, during an intense freebasing sesh with Amy Winehouse. At this point, Joshua doesn't even need Katherine to emasculate him; he's doing just fine on his own, thankyouverymuch. Next thing we know, we'll be reading about how he suffered a nasty papercut while opening up a box of tampons. Joshua, at this point, there's only one way to save your ever-diminishing reputation. We've got two words for you. Cirque Lodge. Just ask Kirsten Dunst or Eva Mendes, they'll admit you in for just about anything, so long as your checks don't bounce.

[Photo credit: Flynet]

• HEIGL'S HUSBAND STANDS BY HIS WOMAN [MSNBC]

Though Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper may have dropped LSD together and smoked a reported 155 joints in a row for just one Easy Rider scene, pictures of the legends puffing on cigars still pop up on the internets to this day. Along with Keith Richards, who continued to prove his immortality by walking this year's Shine A Light red carpet in NY with an ever-present cigarette, Hollywood's most infamous chimneys have been replaced by even heavier habit-afflicted youngsters. Mary-Kate Olsen is so addicted to her Marlboro Reds that she regularly lights up in gala bathrooms, while Shia LaBeouf recently set off security alarms at the Smithsonian in between shooting scenes for Transformers 2 because the bitch-slapper lit up in the john. And we're all well aware that chain-smoker Sam Ronson appears to have gotten lesbionic BFF Lindsay Lohan hooked — though all the straight edge forces within not-so-straight bestie T.R. Knight still haven't done much to come between Heigl and her American Spirits. Which is actually fine with us — the "throatier" her laugh, the weaker her chances of becoming the next Julia Roberts become!

[Photo credits: Wireimage, That Computer Guy, Skinny Celebrities, Extra TV, Just Jared]

• JACK BLACK KICKS HE NICOTINE HABIT [Snarkerati]

Katherine Heigl was front and center at [Joshua Kelley's] intimate gig. The Grey's Anatomy star sat with a girlfriend, and shouted out requests for songs.

Isn't that rich? Just two weeks removed from her very public show of non-support for the writers on Grey's, now she's showing up at Joshua's concerts thinking she's "Colonel" Tom Parker when she's really just Penny Lane. But then again, Joshua isn't really doing anything to help his case. The same People tipster reports Joshua not only inserted his cash cow bitchy blonde bride's name into several of his songs, but he also told a story on stage about how he "curled her hair" before that night's show.

While we're all for displays of affection that involve pampering (Kevin Costner painting Susan Sarandon's toenails in Bull Durham comes to mind), this is the kind of picture that makes us want to write our Congressperson to have them repeal some of our nation's privacy laws. Because if a paparazzo could legally climb on top of a garbage can to make his way into a tree near a window of Heigl's house (remember, it is her house) in order to capture a shot of Joshua removing curlers from Katherine's hair while she chain smokes Virginia Slims, then I think we'd all agree that our collective loss of privacy would be worth it. Totally worth it.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

• Caught In The Act! [People]

boomp3.com



Embattled Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl sent musician/husband Joshua Kelley on an embarrassing trip to the local super market for panty shields, two cartons of cigarettes, firecrackers, and the latest issue of Life & Style. In return, she decided to surprise him by appearing in a bikini when he got home. Now granted, the twosome recently came back from a vacation in Cancun, but Heigl felt that flashing a little skin might help make up for sending him on the mid-afternoon errand. Then, in the blink of an eye, Heigl whipped out her phone, called Joshua and barked something about also bringing back some Cuervo, too.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

After her husky voice descends into a dramatic alto of self-aggrandizement after one too many autograph-seekers outstretch their plebeian arms in her direction, the enterprising TMZ cameraman begins lobbing a series of Emmy-related probes at Heigl. After one particular inquiry into whether or not she has had any post-Emmy dropout meetings with the team of writers on Grey's, Heigl's quizzically bitchy and entirely dismissive intonation of the word "writers" has to be heard to be believed.

As these pictures demonstrate, a few of Katherine's favorite things do not include raindrops on roses nor whiskers on kittens — they mainly involve using the useless guy (who gave her a ring she treasures far more than him) as a foot-rest, a shield to block her smoke exhalations, and one of those less attractive girlfriends celebrities enlist to co-analyze their body while asking, over and over, "So is my perfect rack perfect enough? Like is this nipple exactly where it should be? Yeah? Yeah, I know. Man am I tired of being right."

[Photo credits: Pacific Coast News]

• HEIGL JOINS WRITERS' GUILT OF AMERICA [TMZ]

boomp3.com



Before leaving on a trip to Cancun, musician Joshua Kelley attempted to coax his wife and Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl into not bashing the pilots of the private plane they rented. Kelley said, "Katie, if I can call you that, can you not talk about the pilots at all during the flight? Even if the flight is a total nightmare or if it's the best flight you've ever taken, let's just keep quiet." Heigl raised her hand as if she was about to make a great and extremely valid point, but instead nodded in agreement with her husband. Heigl said, "You're probably right. I mean, they could just turn the plane around or even parachute out. Then we'll be left to fly the plane ourselves. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if I could quickly get the hang of flying a plane, but it's probably for the best if we left it to the professionals." Joshua breathed a sigh of relief, but his triumph remained temporary when Katherine looked down at his feet and asked him, "Hey, are those my sandals you're wearing?"

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

boomp3.com



Zyzzyx Rd. star Katherine Heigl taunted husband/rocker Joshua Kelley about his first generation iPhone after Kelley complained about the slowness of the dreaded Edge network. Kelley had just taken a photo of a cool dog that he really wanted to post on his Flickr account, but it was taking too long. Instead, Kelley settled for updating his Twitter page. Heigl laughed and said, "Sucks to be an early adopter!" Kelley stopped and nearly began to pout before Heigl interceded and said, "Maybe for your birthday next year, you'll get an iPhone. Now, let's not pout because you already used the 'Josh Gets To Do Whatevs!' card when you left the house wearing cargo shorts. Okay, champ?"

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

boomp3.com



Before walking the red carpet at this weekend's Chrysalis Butterfly Ball, Knocked Up star Katherine Heigl had a brief pow-wow with her husband, musician Joshua Kelley. It was reported that Kelley pouted in the limo on the way to the event and that his gloomy mood was due to the fact that he had to 'Craiglist' his pit tickets for the Iron Maiden concert in order to attend this event with his wife. Since Heigl would not be able to smoke at the event, the absolute last thing she wanted to deal with was a husband who was going to singing "Take Your Daughter To The Slaughter" under his breath the whole night, so she brokered a deal with her husband in an attempt to salvage the evening. In exchange for his good behavior, Heigl would treat her husband to a delicious brunch at Griddle City (without any cigarette smoking during the meal!), a trip to Hobby City for RC Cars and a 21-plus screening of Sex And The City: The Movie at the Arclight. Kelley agreed, but under one condition: Heigl would have to buy him a really sweet and really awesome vintage Iron Maiden concert t-shirt. She accepted and the two lived happily ever after.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

"She's a smart one. She saw what [happened with] Jennifer Aniston, who was crazy successful on TV, but can't seem to carry a film, and she tested the waters early."

But Heigl's chances of fleeing the yawnfest that is Grey's and continuing her journey towards becoming "the next Julia Roberts" don't look good:

After only three seasons on then-mega hit Grey's, Heigl did make an early attempt to break out as a "real" actress on the big screen, and whether it was a case of pure luck or actual talent, Knocked Up turned her into a bankable hot commodity overnight. Then came 27 Dresses, which managed to rack up an impressive $23mm its opening weekend, coming in second to the highly anticipated Cloverfield. Interestingly enough, 27 has racked up $76mm to date, trailing the J.J. Abrams shitshow by only $4mm as of May 1st. Next on her plate is a pantsless role in 2009's The Ugly Truth, which co-stars B.O. superstar Gerard Butler. The only hitch regarding Heigl's promising movie career? As a source told MSNBC, "Heigl might be locked into Grey's a bit longer. 'I don't think she'll be able to get out of it.'" But we're talking about a woman capable of curing ADD sans medical license! We're not worried about Heigl's manipulative methods when it comes to getting her way.

[Photo credit: Splash]

• HEIGL LOOKING TO HANG UP HER 'GREY'S' SCRUBS? [MSNBC]

While shooting a scene for The Ugly Truth with Gerard Butler, Katherine's character is reportedly ditched by her date outside a restaurant and, for some reason, isn't wearing anything below the waist at the time save for a pair of boy shorts. Though we haven't heard whether or not Heigl uses the opportunity to reenact everyone's favorite tighty whitie cameo perfected by Cruise when he was just a twinkle in Scientology's eye, we're admittedly impressed with Katherine's stems. With a body like that, we're officially more understanding of Kelley's willingness to be publicly emasculated time after time by his domineering wifey.

[Photo credits: Pacific Coast News via Daily Mail]

• BRIEF APPEARANCE: KATIE HEIGL CAUGHT WITH HER TROUSERS DOWN [Daily Mail]