This first look at the Season 3 ad campaign comes courtesy of self-regarding Mario Lopez rival Nick Adams, who body-doubled for three of the nude, prone Chelsea boys that the time-traveling Henry VIII has seemingly conquered. There is certainly a Henry VIII/head joke to be made here, but we will demur (no doubt Showtime—with its double entendre of a tagline "Thy Kingdom Come"—will make it for us). Way to retain that Queer as Folk audience, Showtime!

• The Tudors [Nick Adams]

Tudors star and full frontal nudity club member Jonathan Rhys Meyers seems to have followed that old dictum: when in China, do as the Chinese do. Even when it means eating a hearty meal of juicy dog meat. As Radha Mitchell, his co-star in The Children Of Huang Sui, bloopered to reporters:

Jonathan did the dog's meat. We were in some restaurant and there was dog meat on the menu and there was someone next to us just sitting there with their Chihuahua in a handbag. I was thinking, 'That could've been dessert.’

And naturally, PETA has taken the opportunity to sharpen their celebrity-hating claws once again.

Radha's comments were immediately jumped on by everyone's favorite group of anti-people, pro-animal activists. As one PETA spokesperson has said, "Chickens and cows may not be as cute and cuddly as puppies, but when it comes to their ability to feel pain and suffer, they are no different from animals people call pets." Though we actually find cows incredibly cute, if not cuddly, we still find it hard to stomach the image of our beloved Jonathan eating dog while seated next to a dog. Did the chihuahua use the go-to Puppy Eyes on him?

• PETA HATES JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS [Hollyscoop]

WHAT'S NEW: There's a holiday-ready, cruise-control part of us that feels like skipping this part of Defamer Attractions, but again, Indiana Jones 4 is not the only new release demanding attention. That said, with $26 million already in the bank on Thursday, and with the Indiana Jones PlunderWatch Projection Ticker speeding toward $9.5 trillion, we should probably just get it out of the way. It's easily going to win the weekend, but can it displace four-day weekend champ Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End ($139.7 million) and five-day king Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith ($172 million) as the all-time biggest box-office bow? We doubt it; there's too much cultural competition to overcome the 19-year generation gap. Nevertheless, we're still calling Indy to break $110 million by Sunday and $140 million by Monday, thus promising a fifth installment set in 1967 and pitting our hero and his greaser sidekick/offspring against their toughest adversaries yet: Filthy, filthy hippies.

Also opening: John Cusack's Iraq satire/career nadir War, Inc.; the here-and-gone Jonathan Rhys Meyers drama The Children of Huang Shi; and the acclaimed Vice Magazine-produced doc Heavy Metal in Baghdad.

THE BIG LOSER: Despite early reads positioning Postal in the same critical class as What Happens in Vegas, Speed Racer and Sex and the City, it won't likely be enough to boost Uwe Boll's latest clusterfuck to anything approaching respectable at the box office. Granted, he's on four screens as opposed to, say, Indy 4's 4,200, but if Postal's per-screen average breaks $8,000, we'll volunteer to be the guy eating his own puke in Boll's next film. What? Stoic has already been shot? Whatever. The point is: It will not happen.

THE UNDERDOG: Fatih Akin's 2005 culture-clash stunner Head On captured audiences about as abruptly and unforgettably as its title suggested, and his follow-up, The Edge of Heaven, revisits his volatile Turkish/German roots with no less intensity. Which, considering its scope, is a bit of a marvel: A elderly Turkish man invites a compatriot prostitute into the home he shares with his son in Bremen. It ends... poorly, with the son traveling to Istanbul to find the woman's 20-something daughter. She's embroiled in political actions there, expatriates herself to Germany seeking asylum, falls in love with another young woman, and then — horror of horrors! — is expelled back to prison in Turkey. The interwoven searches and tragedies that follow in Heaven make Babel look like an afterschool special — not for their violence or viciousness (though they have that, too), but for their stoicism and, ultimately, their unalloyed compassion. And in any case, we'd never reject anything featuring both lesbians and Turkish prison.

FOR SHUT-INS: New DVD's this week include National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets, the latest terrible George Romero zombie entry Diary of the Dead, the Richard Gere/Claire Danes folly The Flock, and the long, long-awaited complete first season of The Bill Engvall Show.

So are we low-balling Indy's weekend plunder? Are we too generous? And is anybody actually planning to see Postal? Share your own plans, place your own bets and go ahead — tell your boss we said you could take Monday off!

Rhys Meyers did not appear at the Dublin District Court arraignment Wednesday. State prosecutors said they had accepted an apology from the actor and dropped the charges.

Rhys Meyers' lawyer, Michael Staines, said his client's behavior at the airport was "unacceptable and out of character." He said Rhys Meyers "unreservedly apologizes" to airport security guards, police and staff at the British airline BMI, and planned to make a donation to an unspecified charity as a way to acknowledge his wrongdoing.

Hopefully this embarrassing, international incident will prove to be the final slip-up for the versatile actor, who's used his pretty boy looks and studied, nostril-flaring mannerisms to bring to life everyone from a pouty Elvis to a flouncy, horndog Henry VIII. We'd hate to think of what other historical icons of machismo Meyers might never be able to put his delicate, metrosexualized spin on should he succumb to his bottled demons.

• Rhys Meyers apologizes for drunken rage [news.yahoo.com]

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers may play a well-bred nice guy in Woody Allen's iffy London flick, Match Point. But the pretty boy actor let the mask of decency slip a bit when confronted by co-star Scarlett Johansson's sauce-shelf on set. And Rhys-Meyers shows himself as a right jack-the-lad when it comes to spilling forth about the film's bedroom-based shenanigans.

Pray tell, sunshine.

"It was easy work doing the sex scenes, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't," whispered the one-time Bend It Like Beckham bloke, as told by Ananova.

Reports say Scarlett asked Rhys-Meyers not to cop a gawp at her lady-bazzers but, hey, what's a man to do?

If you still have no idea what they're talking about, the more American-friendly translation by the UK Mirror follows:

MATCH Point star Jonathan Rhys-Meyers has revealed that bashful co-star Scarlett Johansson, 21, banned him from looking at her breasts during filming of the movie's love scenes - but he did anyway.

The 28-year-old Irish actor told the show Unscripted: "I remember [Scarlett] telling me not to look at her tits. And I was trying to be a gentleman and sort of asking for a glimpse.

"But I did sneak a peek - I couldn't help it, they were in my face." And it'll come as no surprise that Jonathan had no problem "acting" his part as Scarlett's lover in the Woody Allen film.

One thing is certain: whether they're referred to as "tits," "lady-bazzers," or our new personal favorite, "sauce shelf," the tabloid career of Johansson's rack is just getting started. God bless the Queens.

• Scarlett's the breast, Jon [MegaStar UK]
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• I MADE SCARLETT SEE RED ON SET [Mirror.co.uk]
• Previously: Scarlett Johansson Terrified By Image Of Her Enormous Rack [Defamer]