The video clip above, from YouTube, is grainy, but TechCrunch's Mike Arrington assures readers it's in the final movie. I hadn't seen the film myself, unaware it touched on social networking, but Arrington writes that MySpace takes up a solid five minutes of the movie.

The treatment is brutal. Early in the clip, MySpace co-founder Tom Anderson asks Sandler if he actually uses the product. The star's reply: "No, no no. I fuck girls, Tom. I don't have time for that." When he goes on stage, the comic greets the MySpace crowd as "nerds" and then trashes their users: "They say the more friends you have on MySpace the less friends you have in real life." .

Sure, MySpace's competitors are insulted, too. But companies like Silicon Valley-based Facebook are fighting hard to avoid Hollywood; Facebook trashed Ben Mezrich's book about the company, The Accidental Billionaires, and by extension the Aaron Sorkin movie based on that book, calling it inaccurate.

But MySpace is based in Beverly Hills, close to Hollywood, and seems to have a better handle on the big picture: Being on the silver screen, in any context, means you're culturally relevant. Why not embrace the opportunity to make your virtual community a lot more real? (Via TechCrunch.)

Moveline heroically compiled a history of the fake account JonahHill_Jew. Here's an exchange between fake Hill and Marlee Matlin, the deaf actress from West Wing:

Marlee Matlin... tweets that she loved Hill in Superbad. JonahHill_Jew replies, "How funny could it of been when you can't hear it?"

Ugh. Hill also tells comedian Doug Benson he met him at "Yer CD Release party bitch…" Then there was a reported feud between fake Hill and actor/director Jon Favreau; Hill told Letterman he got an upset call from the actor (see clip above), though the fake Hill told Movieline he was never rude to or truly fighting with Favreau.

It could take months before Hill is able to set straight the various Hollywood big shots who think they saw "his" off-color Twitter feed. Maybe Hill have some help setting the record straight: his impostor is already trying to parlay his infamy into a show business career. Maybe in a few years he'll be worth suing!

EW mentioned the whispers this afternoon, including the security measures surrounding yesterday's circulation of the script (co-authored by Hill's partner Max Winkler): A handful of studio bosses received the comedy printed on "red, watermarked paper" that couldn't be copied, lest anyone know anything about the tale of "four 20-something guys who, inspired by a book of the same name, set out overseas in search of a mysterious location described in the book."

In other words, Uni bought an R-rated Goonies update with a surfeit of dick jokes and probably loose commitments from Hill, Michael Cera, James Franco and Seth Rogen to star. But don't tell anybody! Jay Baruchel will get his hopes up that someone has a scheduling conflict or something. Remember: Top. Secret.

• Jonah Hill script sells for seven figures to Universal [EW]

So enough already, Hollywood! After the jump, find eight dos and don'ts to keep in mind when striving for the perfect celebrity PSA. You have four years to practice — on your mark, get set, go.

1. DO let Jonah Hill host more PSA's on his own. As much as we appreciate the condescending, autoerotic flavor of Di Caprio, Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Demi Moore and a cast of elite thousands, this Declare Yourself ad proved that all it takes is an actual sense of humor about drugs, abortion and the economy to stir potential interest in the issues.

2. DON'T leave the Latino vote to Carlos Mencia, Cheech Marin and co. At least with Cheech around, however, Mencia can't steal Jonah Hill's jokes.

3. DO emphasize Justin Timberlake if you have a choice between him and Jessica Biel. He's just funnier, a better singer and there's always an outside chance of him "accidentally" pulling off someone's clothing.

4. DON'T give Hayden Panettiere her own spot. Especially not on Funny or Die, where she's neither funny nor dies nor so much as dings the McCain campaign she attempts to swear off — literally.

5. DO give Hayden Panettiere a spot with Jessica Alba. The "Muzzler" commercials are by far the most effective portion of Declare Yourself's multi-phase campaign to register young voters. Which is to say: We're sure the light bondage practiced on nubile, destabilizingly earnest starlets also compelled older men in the electorate to register their own "young voters" all over their keyboards. Remember, guys — you can only register once! No cheating!

6. DON'T let Anne Hathaway dance. Or anyone else for that matter. Perhaps the worst PSA of the season, this Creative Coalition spot is about as fresh as the bumper-sticker rack at a Wasilla scripture house.

7. DO pit Jews against each other. The Jewish Council for Education and Research brought on Sarah Silverman as the spokesperson for its "Great Schlep" — a late spring break of sorts encouraging young Jews to head off to Florida and convince their Nanas that Barack Hussein Obama is not the anti-Israel terrorist the GOP has allegedly made him out to be. Jackie Mason soon fired back on behalf of the Republican Jewish Coalition, smearing Silverman as a "sick yenta" over a saucy klezmer soundtrack. We hate to see such striking discord under the circumstances, but it's either this, or it's Roseanne Barr vs. Jon Voight. Which isn't a choice at all.

8. DON'T rope Blake Lively and Penn Badgley into a PSA together and not insist they make out for the Obama cause. Especially if we have to sit through the whole pasty cast of Fame: The Remake or Emo High or whatever the fuck just to get to Lively's sign-off.

Of course, this being the United States of Defamer, your own suggestion are more than welcome below. Let freedom ring — or at least be less painful to watch on a quadrennial basis.

Among those observed in this installment: Owen Wilson, John Krasinski, Amy Adams, Ryan Phillippe, Neil Patrick Harris, Jared Leto, John Legend, Jonah Hill, Martin Landau, Chloe Sevigny, William Fichtner, Ron Livingston, Mekhi Phifer and more.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 20

Went to see The Women (the play, not the movie) in a theater near downtown, when I saw MARTIN LANDAU (looking dapper for 77) talking with JACK STEHLIN from Weeds. I was going to list some Martin Landau credits but imdb has 155 of them and I didn't know what to pick. Loved him in Ed Wood, though.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 25

Sept. 25 [At the] Aloud event at the LA Central Library, I spotted ERIC IDLE and a companion enjoying the battling accents of ARIANNA HUFFINGTON and BERNARD HENRI-LEVY. Looked like ALAIN GIRAUD may have been there as well, but I can't be sure. Idle and the Giraud lookalike repaired to Cafe Pinot for a post-talk meal, I expect to be joined by BHL and AH, since they were chatting on stage after the event.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 26

It was a transatlantic Dundler-Mifflin meetup on Friday (9/26) at the Magic Castle as JOHN KRASINSKI was hanging with STEPHEN MERCHANT (from The Office UK and Extras). The former looked way hotter and less goofy in person and the latter is a good seven feet tall and was chatting up AIMEE MANN.

I was dancing up a storm during the MSTRKRFT show at the Henry Fonda Theater when a guy walks right up and blocks my view. He turns around to face me and starts to mess around with his phone. I’m just about to call him out for being in my ‘personal space bubble’ (the dance floor was pretty empty by that time) when I realize that it’s JARED LETO! He looked a little rough: hair slicked back into a pony tail, scruffy facial hair, black army boots and red flannel shirt tight around his waste. '90s style flashback. I felt kind of sorry for him; Jared seemed a kind of bummed about not getting any celeb-like attention.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 27

A day earlier on Sept. 27, we saw RON LIVINGSTON and MEKHI PHIFER at the Shane Mosley-Ricardo Mayorga fight in Carson. They weren't together, dammit; Ron had his usual stubble and a third-row seat, while Mekhi was up on the concourse chatting with former fringe NBA player CHRIS MILLS before the main event.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 28

After watching my best friend perform an acoustic set at Level 5, someone commented "Hey, there's Jim from The Office." Sure enough, I turn around and there's JOHN KRASINSKI chatting it up with a very cute redhead and an equally cute blonde.

OWEN WILSON at The Other Room during the Abbot Kinney Festival. Fairly inconspicuous. He sat and texted the whole time, probably an hour two. I never saw him look up once. My trashed friend asked him what was going on with all the texting. Owen didn't understand the question. I think he left before the guy was killed outside. I saw that happen, pretty messed up.

Saw JONAH HILL at the Abbot Kinney Festival on Sunday the 28th. He was in the line for Sausage Masters but didn't seem to purchase anything. He must be on a diet as he's looking a little more svelte than usual. He was very sweet...

Saw BRENDAN SEXTON III at Sabor y Cultura cafe in Hollywood today. It was kind of dorky/endearing, there was a group of middle-aged gamers there and he went right over and was totally into it. He was with a tiny blond who was then forced to observe the gaming as well. I don't think anyone else knew who he was, I was just really into Welcome to the Dollhouse back in the day...

It feels like cheating to submit sightings from the A terminal at the Burbank airport, since celebs and plebes alike have to walk down that same narrow hall to exit the sad old barn, but what the hell. On Sunday night around 9 p.m., the following people walked by separately in a 4-minute span, presumably all coming off the late JetBlue flight from JFK: WILLIAM FICHTNER of Prison Break, wearing athletic-type clothes and walking so fast his hairline receded; NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, looking awesome in a black T-shirt and gaily chatting with some dude; CHLOE SEVIGNY, mousy-haired and depressingly dressed like a normal person; and finally AMY ADAMS, toting her own overstuffed Louis Vuitton bag and staring grimly ahead while marching with an entourage of at least two other chicks. No smile, no eye contact, still smoking hot.

Just got off AA115 from LHR to JFK. JOHN LEGEND was traveling in first class. A wee bit shorter then I anticipated.

Saw everyone’s favorite ex-lazy postman WAYNE KNIGHT at the Vendome Liquors in Toluca Lake on Sunday evening. Would have liked to say hi, but he was busy getting advice on red wine from one of the employees. Oh well.

MONDAY, SEPT. 29

RYAN PHILLIPPE with BFF and business partner BRECKIN MEYER at Nate 'n Al's in BH on Saturday morning.

Throughout the show Apatow took movie pitches from the audience members. One member of the audience pitched a road trip movie based on Satre. [sic] The guy then said he traveled all the way from Salt Lake City to see the cast perform. Apatow quipped, ‘They’re going to find me dead after the show.’ Hill seemed the least experienced doing stand up, but still kept the crowd entertained. One of the highlights was a joke Rogen made about farting on airplanes. Apatow also suggested Sandler do a bit that he’d already done, leaving Adam to jab, ‘Some director you’re going to be.’ I would have liked to see Eric Bana do stand up. Otherwise, great night.”

/Film has a few more accounts from attendees, many of which seem potentially more successful than the performers themselves ("Can I get another cock joke, wash it down with a fart. Hey Yall we smoke weed? Thats just classic can’t go wrong with those time honored classics. Damn, my hand won’t stop making this wanking motion for some reason." ... "Energy was way down. Sandler didn’t seem too into it, he kept repeating 'Almost there').

So what next? The film is shooting somewhere over at Universal as we speak; get to stalking already, Defamer Ops! Apatow, Sandler, Rogen, Eric Bana and the rest will appreciate it in the long run — trust us.

• Judd Apatow & Posse Finish 'Funny People' Rehearsals [/Film]

When Superbad was released, everyone was stoked on Cera and his skinny, off-beat quiet wit. He was ranked No. 1 on Entertainment Weekly's 30 Under 30 actors list. He had garnered comedic street cred from his stint on Arrested Development. And shucks, how could you forget those dimples? He was one of those cool, John Cusask-esque unlikely sex symbols! And yet now, film critic Jeffrey Wells says Cera is a mere "two or three steps from being over." His logic?

...the two main reasons are (a) he's already repeating himself and (b) his aversion to being famous, hard to swallow from a guy who's been acting since he was 10 or 11 years old, is profoundly tiresome. Nobody has time for that sensitive "poor me because I'm rich and famous" shit.

As much as we hate to say it, we fear for Cera, too. We can't put up with this innocent guy shtick for too much longer. Dude: if you're gonna shine, you need some charm - and we think you may be lacking in the department. In fact, we read that you sat "rod straight" and said "I don't know" 48 times in one hour when a New York Times writer was profiling you recently.

Cera's upcoming flicks aren't lookin' like total winners either. This winter, from the creator of Not Another Teen Movie comes Extreme Movie, a film that will explore the joys of teen sex and co-stars Jamie Kennedy and Frankie Muniz. Niiice. And next year's Youth in Revolt, in which he plays a 14-year-old whose parents are divorcing and seeks his dream girl to take his mind off of things along with his virginity - screams typecast.

Plus, he upset fans with the recent news that he may be one of the key players vetoing the greenlighting of an Arrested Development flick.

Sigh. We're sure it's just all of the pressure to be the Next Big Thing weighing those little bony shoulders of his down.

• On The Brink [Hollywood Elsewhere]

Boomp3.com

It must’ve been a case of déjà vu for actor Jonah Hill as a photographer sneaked up on him again while jogging in Hollywood. However, this time around, the photographer did not tempt Hill with cupcakes or other delicious treats. Instead, the photographer was more interested in Hill’s beard and simply asked, “What’s the deal with the beard, dude?” Hill explained that he was growing the beard because he’s going to do a guest spot on Deadliest Catch as well as to make a stab at credibility. Hill said, “Philip Seymour Hoffman has a really nice beard growing there. He’s pretty well respected. Maybe, if I had one of those things, I’d be able to do more dramatic work. Something intense or maybe a part as Nick Nolte’s crazy long lost son.”

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Seth Rogen fires off some pot shots in the new GQ comedy issue. First the funnyguy says that he's the reason — or at least part of the reason — his pal Jonah Hill turned down a role in director Michael Bay's Transformers sequel.

"I can see if Steven Spielberg's calling you, asking you to do something, how that's hard to turn down," Rogen tells writer Alex Pappademas. "But what I said to Jonah was, 'You want to make a movie about fightin' robots? Make your own movie about fightin' robots. You can do that. That's on the table now.' "

So Oscar-winner Cody can likely be excused for answering Spielberg's call; the director is already credited with the story on the Cody-scripted Showtime series The United States of Tara, but their untitled forthcoming collaboration is reportedly "under such tight wraps that even dealmakers involved with the project were in the dark. There are no producers yet attached." We still think Theroux may have had the better day overall, but feel free to call your own shots — short-term, long-term or both — in the comments.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images, WireImage]

• Seth Rogen's 'Transformer'-tive Life Lessons [GQ via E!]

• Cody tackles DreamWorks comedy [Source]

In today's installment: Cameron Diaz, Katherine Heigl, Vince Vaughn, Pam Anderson, Sharon Stone, Dave Chappelle, Corey Feldman, Jonah Hill, Eric Mabius, Eli Roth, Pete Wentz, Dane Cook, Fabio, Tim Robbins, Bo Derek, Bret McKenzie, Lucy Liu, Tara Reid, Rachel Zoe, JC Chasez, T.R. Knight, Jonny Lee Miller and Angelyne!

MONDAY, JUNE 16
· Went to the Grove to see a movie when I noticed a tall dark haired man making out with a pretty young blonde who didn't look a day over 18. After a couple takes I realized it was creepy horror film director Eli Roth. He looks more attractive in person, I must admit. He and the young blonde went into The Happening. From what I have gathered, they both seemed really uninterested in the movie (which was horrible by the way) and more interested in sucking face. Maybe because his girlfriend is in high school, she's used to hooking up in movie theaters?

THURSDAY, JUNE 19
· Driving north on La Brea from Slauson I saw in the passenger seat of the car behind me the unmistakable head of Jonah Hill (Feldstein). I changed one lane over so I could see him from the side. He seemed to be annoyed by my pointing at him and had the driver of the car (female) look over at me to laugh. I was just wondering what he was doing so far south...

FRIDAY, JUNE 20
· Pam Anderson was taking in the Dodgers/Indians game in the Dugout seats tonight. She was with her 2 boys, who looked just old enough for their friends to tell them there's a video on the internet of their dad driving a boat with his penis. Also, a goateed Ben Silverman sitting nearby dressed like a 15-year old, with some girl.

· Saw Tara Reid eating lunch with two European looking types at that French cheese place in the old Farmers Market on Fairfax. Damn, that girl looked cute and smiled at my tow headed kid. Really, she was eating.

SATURDAY, JUNE 21
· Saw Cameron Diaz at Home Restaurant on Hillhurst enjoying some outdoor Saturday afternoon brunch. She had hashbrowns on her plate! Skinny celebs eat real food! How?! Honestly though, she was looking good.

· In the midst of the heat wave, Flight of the Conchords' Bret McKenzie (a.k.a., the cute one) at The Waffle on Sunset, huddled in a booth with five or six friends. Couldn't see what he was eating.

SUNDAY, JUNE 22
· Last night, at Swinger's cafe, saw Dave Chappelle eating dinner outside with a male friend. They had quite a spread going w/ french toast, waffles, and milkshakes. The kind of dinner one might order after some "happy cigarettes." ;) Chappelle seemed in a lively mood, walking around and chatting with a few people. He looked good. I wish he'd get back on TV.

· I know it's been forever, but I had to contribute: Was at the beach all day today, escaping the god awful heat, and wandered around as Will Rogers Beach emptied around sunset... and I see an adorable Eric Mabius carrying his adorable son piggyback around the beach... priceless. Maybe celebrities are not all horrible people.

MONDAY, JUNE 23
· Saw Vince Vaughn at the Greek for the Robert Plant/Allison Krauss show. He was exchanging pleasantries with Ray director and Mr. Helen Mirren, Taylor Hackford. I like to think they were discussing a possible Fred Claus 2 in which Vince's character is rendered blind after seeing Fred Claus and becomes the most beloved blues singer in the North Pole. Saw a fan come up to tell Vince how much he likes his work and Vince took some time to chat. That was so money.

· Pete Wentz at LAFF's Monday night sold-out showing of Choke. He stayed until Clark Gregg and surprise guest Chuck Palahniuk finished their Q and A, trying to get out quickly before the audience rush. At first just thought, "hmm, that little man looks like Pete Wentz" until he took a picture with a fan. Dude is WEE, but I thought it was cool he stayed for the Q and A and didn't act like a dick about pictures. My standards are so low.

TUESDAY, JUNE 24
· I saw Rachel Zoe looking as angry as crushed velvet leaving the post-premiere party for The Wackness at the W in Westwood. Was she denied entry or was it just what I was wearing?

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25
· At George Michael's show at the Forum, there was a delectable mix of celebs in the Forum Club during intermission and after the show. You had the older actresses in Bo Derek and Sharon Stone, tv hostesses in Daisy Fuentes & Debbie Matenopoulous, former boy bander in JC Chasez, Eli Stone himself Jonny Lee Miller & his pregnant fiance (wife?) Michelle Hicks, & most importantly Corey Feldman. Corey walked around with his enormous sunglasses around while dragging around his wife by the hand just looking for attention.

THURSDAY, JUNE 26
· Pete Wentz hiding his face and pretending like I cared who he was at the Rite Aid on Fairfax and Sunset. Considered following him to see what he was buying, but then I was distracted by something much more interesting: Kleenex.

· While waiting for an elevator in the 8000 Sunset parking garage, one finally arrived and produced ape-comic Dane Cook and one of his "bros", fresh from a work-out at Crunch.

SATURDAY, JUNE 28
· 1000 year old Angelyne was pulled over in front of my loft 5 minutes ago on Cahuenga and Melrose. They searched her trunk. Another squad car pulled up to join the search!!

· Just saw Fabio @ Equinox on Sunset. If only I knew George Clooney's number, I could have texted him to come over and beat him up.

TUESDAY, JULY 1
· As I was leaving the Arclight after the horriblenessness that is Wanted (seriously, the Loom of Fate?!?!), saw Katherine Heigl and her hags, T.R. Knight and his ward, Mark Cornelson, leaving. She was trying to go incognito wearing glasses, but looked very fit. T.R. and the ward looked pretty gay and short. No sign of lapdog, Josh Kelley.

UNDATED
· It was actually a couple of weeks ago...walking down Franklin Ave on my way to Mayfair Market, I saw none other than Fabio himself, sitting at that little Japanese restaurant. Hair: still luxurious, but not as long as in his heyday.

· Two weeks ago, spotted Tim Robbins at Kika sushi on Larchmont. Let me just say, he is hot. Sarandon is a lucky lady! Side note: I happened to catch Robbins' stage production of 1984 this
weekend, which is fantastic.

· A few weeks ago, I saw Lucy Liu with a male companion at Vegan Glory, this random little cafe in a mini-mall by house. She looked beautiful, as always.

Details about the "tone or direction" were unavailable at press time, but we're guessing Hill might lean toward comedy. That said, if the show's infamously didactic spirit isn't followed to the letter, and we don't learn at least one lesson about smoking, pregnancy, alcohol abuse, racism or (hopefully) all of the above, there will be hell to pay. Don't fuck this one up, pal.

• Jonah Hill in negotiations to develop '21 Jump Street' movie [EW]

boomp3.com

Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Jonah Hill's initial baby steps into a regular work out routine were thwarted by a nosy photographer. Hill politely asked if the photographer could leave him alone, seeing as how Hill had successfully finished his first block. Unfortunately for all parties involved, the photographer said no and offered Hill the halfway melted Snickers bar in his SUV. Hill continued on his walk, but the ever-persistent photog asked if Hill wanted to make a run to Crumbs in Beverly Hills, adding in that it would be his treat. Hill sighed and continued on with his power walk, then muttered, "Any other day, I'd be there. But you know, I'm working hard not to be the Artie Lange of the Apatow gang."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

boomp3.com

Much to his dismay, Jonah Hill was ironically photographed at the premiere of Forgetting Sarah Marshall standing in front of the word "FAT", which appears on the somewhat clever / somewhat annoying posters for the movie. The photographer chuckled rather loudly after taking the picture and considered the photo to be a wake up call in light of recent events like portly comic Artie Lange's recent departure from the Howard Stern show. Hill thought it was unnecessary and uncalled for, seeing as he's just trying to have a good time at the screening.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

boomp3.com

With the way things are going in Hollywood these days, studio executives and movie producers should be treating this trio (okay, well maybe just Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow) like they are the two guys who know the secret formula for Coca-Cola. You know, don't put them in the same room at the same time (let alone fly together), just in case something happens. The impact that a Day The Music Died type of plane crash would have on the Los Angeles economy could be worse than the Writers' Strike and the potential Actors' strike combined. Let alone the crippling impact it would have on those clothing companies that sell t-shirts with quotes from Apatow produced films. Not to mention, all the dudebros and frat guys who would be left to their own devices to come up with something clever to say instead of quickly dispensing a zinger from one of their films. For all of our sakes, please travel separately from here on out, stoners!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

The gravity bong expert is none other than big baller Cisco Adler, the couch potato with a preference for apple bongs is Jonah Hill (sooo not surprised), and the lip gloss tipster is original America's Next Top Model winner Adrianne Curry. Other star contributers reportedly include Adam Levine, Melissa Etheridge and none other than Kumar himself, Kal Penn. If only Shoe Fairy Neil Patrick Harris would join his H&K co-star and come out of this closet, we'd start pre-ordering ASAP.

• REEFER MADNESS, CELEB-STYLE [NY Post]

In today's episode: Diane Lane; Katherine Heigl, Josh Kelley, and Sara Ramirez; Kirsten Dunst; Alex Trebek; Cynthia Nixon and Rob Schneider; Rose McGowan; Jonah Hill; Dominic Monaghan; Alice Cooper; Wilmer Valderrama; Rich Sommer; and Blake Lewis.

· 12/8 - Diane Lane and daughter, both looking lovely with similar pixie cuts, braving the holiday madness at the Century City mall Saturday evening. I immediately started searching to see if hubby Josh Brolin was around - damn that man is having a fantastic year - but sadly he was nowhere to be seen.

· Walking out of the Variety screening of JUNO at the Arclight on Tuesday, I saw Katherine Heigl (with Josh Kelley) and Sara Ramirez (with unnamed man). It looked like they were double dating. Sara was thinner than I expected but it was incredibly refreshing to see two working actresses who wouldn't fall over if a stiff breeze came along.

· I saw Kirsten Dunst at the Arclight around 4:30 pm on Saturday, December 8th. No make-up on, looks exactly like you'd think she would. Not very tall and she was in heels. Very thin and absolutely no butt to speak of. She was with an older producer-type gentleman. Thought they'd head in to the theaters, but they made their way up the ramp towards the restaurant. I mentioned that they could've picked a better place to eat to my friend, to which she responded, "She doesn't eat."

· Friday, December 7th at 12:45 p.m. fellow-Canuck, Alex Trebek at the Sherman Oaks Galleria on Ventura Blvd. God only knows what the Canadian Quizmaster was doing in that pathetic excuse for a mall; then again I was headed to Paul Mitchell. The gent was sporting two nondescript brown-paper shopping bags; sans adequate labeling for further prying eyes. Maybe PF Chang's takeout - so ending the mystery once and for all.

· It seemed like a slow Monday night at Chinois on Main in Santa Monica until Cynthia Nixon and two other dykish gals walked in for a bite. Shortly after Rob Schneider and a group of 3 came in as well. I'm sure they all ordered the fish!

· And in the random sighting of the month, saw Rose McGowan in the Aaron Brothers framing outlet on Sunset and Western, Sunday afternoon.

· Dec 9 - Mr. Superbad Jonah Hill entertaining a table of Los Feliz's finest hipsters...recomended: half pastrami and half franch dip.

· On Tuesday, December 10 I went to the Blick Art Store on Beverly Blvd. to pick up some molding hooks. Walked in and spied Now-Dead Lostaway & Hobbit Dominic Monaghan waiting in line to purchase spraypaint. When he finally got to an available cash register to pay, the cashier gal (who clearly had no idea who he was) saw the spraypaint, looked at him, and asked if he was eighteen. His reply? "I have a beard!" Awesome exchange to see, especially knowing that now-unemployed Dominic is either a tagger or a huffer.

· Funny sighting sunday at the Rose Bowl flea market... Alice Cooper, accompanied by a cute young woman (a daughter maybe?). They were very cool, and super nice to the dealer..but here's the funny part: they were debating between buying a box of "Jesus Wheaties" or a box of "Hitler-O's". Some kind of vintage gag cereal items, I guess. They ultimately went with the Hitler-O's. And they didn't even haggle over the price. Oh and Alice looks pretty good, for being like 200 yrs old.

· Saturday 12/8 I spotted Fez aka Wilmer "i like young thangs" Valderrama at the Bev Center with a gaggle of teenage darlings sporting the various requisite westside teen uniform of leggings, newsboy caps, and handbags that are five times bigger than their heads. ok so i wear that crap too but i drive a camry and they probably drive range rovers. color me jealous.

· 12/8/07 - Saw Rich Sommer ("Harry Crane" from "Mad Men" and "Other Guy" from "Devil Wears Prada") at the Ralph's at Burbank and Van Nuys, buying a wee half-pint of store-brand heavy cream (which he carried out in-hand...perhaps too eco-conscious to take a bag for one item...or just very proud of his purchase). I don't think I've ever actually seen anyone buy heavy cream, even out here in the backwater Valley. He looked thinner than on TV, though, so the cream isn't doing any damage, I guess. He was alone, sort of distracted and fidgety, wearing glasses, and very, very tall.

· At LaLa's on Melrose Saturday night (12/8) and who should boisterously enter and sit down at the table next to us? American Idol runner-up Blake Lewis, of course. He acted as though he really wanted to be recognized. However, I saw no fan approaches. Sorry Blake, maybe you'll read this and feel better.

After all, menstrual blood is gooey, photogenic, and just the right place on the fetidness spectrum between "semen" and "barf" to make for hilarious — but not absolutely stomach-churningly putrid — physical humor. And you thought the point of the movie was the poignancy of the adolescent male bond! Go Seth Rogen! We think we can think of a certain comedic pregnancy sequel that could maybe give America its seminal (heh) comedic "period sex" scene!