• Everyone loves Neil Patrick Harris. And how could they not? He came out singing cabaret and danced away with our undying love. Not that he didn't have it before. After this evening's turn as the show's host, we're pretty sure Harris should master the ceremonies of every Hollywood event ever. (By the way, Mediaite has the lyrics from the introductory number. Learn them. Live them. Love them.)
  
  
• Kristin Chenoweth will soon be the hardest working woman in Hollywood. The adorable actress — once known mostly to the Broadway crowd — stole the nation's heart by crying after winning best supporting actress for Pushing Daisies. The show's been canceled and Chenoweth, bless her, reminded the world that she needs a job: "I'm unemployed now, so I'd like to be on Mad Men. I also like The Office and 24."
  
  
• Tina Fey fans are upset that Toni Collette won the "best comedy actress" award for United States of Tara, which we actually enjoy. Well, Jeff Jarvis is upset, at least: the journalist and internet aficionado twittered, "best comedy actress was a crime." But, whatever, because Fey won for her SNL Sarah Palin impersonation.
  
  
• In other-SNL news, Justin Timberlake took home a trophy for his "Dick in a Box" routine. But that was announced last week, so hopefully you knew that.
  
  
• Sure, Fey didn't win, but that doesn't mean the Academy doesn't still love 30 Rock: the incredibly popular show won "best comedy series" and Alec Baldwin walked away with a "best actor" statuette. That's his second, for the record.
  
  
• Speaking of seconds: Mad Men again won "best drama series" and best writing for a drama series. Does this mean the show will continue to be a popular culture darling? Not if you ask Matthew Greenberg from True Slant — he thinks the consecutive win will alienate those who don't already watch it, because they'll think it's elitist.
  
  
• If Greenberg's right, there could also be a backlash against Glenn Close: the Damages star once again won for "best actress" in a drama series.
  
  
• Comedy Central's no doubt pleased with Jon Stewart and the Daily Show crew: they won "best writing" for a comedy, variety, etc series. And, yes, Stewart commended Neil's hosting abilities. He also made a joke about going backstage to watch football, which was competing on another network and became the butt of many tiresome jokes.
  
  
• LA Times writer Tom O'Neil has crowned Bill Maher the biggest Emmy loser in history because Maher, whose show was nominated in the aforementioned variety category, has lost 22 times over the course of his career.
  
  
• Remember how we said Harris should host everything? He may have some competition from Hugh Jackman, who won for original music for his Oscar dance routine.
  
  
• Hey, did you know Sarah McLachlan's still around? And she's still singing "I Will Remember You." While, yes, we should take a moment to recognize the departed — Bea Arthur! — certainly there's a less maudlin, predictable soundtrack.
  
  
• And on that note, here's a list of the winners.

· Here's Variety's review of Valkyrie. We saw it yesterday, too, and are largely in agreement. Neither the movie or Cruise are a disaster by any stretch, but it's a pretty dry historical recreation best suited for the History Channel set. The Pianist this is not.
· If you haven't seen Jon Stewart corner Mike Huckabee like a frightened rodent over gay marriage, get thee to this page now. Watching him swat down Huckabee's ridiculous arguments is almost as satisfying as good same-sex.
· Ricky Martin's got himself two little Clay Juniors!
· Pitchfork's 20 Worst Album Covers of 2008.
· Don't let the Italian censors get their hands on your queer cowboy masterpiece: They'll slice and dice it into the story of two rigidly heterosexual spaghetti chefs who swap wives.

1. John Davidson, A Solid Gold Christmas (1982) — It was the year Davidson was in the early downswing of his raconteurial powers. And who could fault him? With That's Incredible, a running guest spot on Hollywood Squares and two of his own Christmas specials behind him, among the few milestones left to check off was "Completely KILL on the Solid Gold Christmas show." And kill he did, bringing a never-before-told tale of wintertime glee and his silky baritone to a riveted TV audience. Colbert's own style seems to have already borrowed a bit from this clip, but if he really wants to own the holidays like Davidson, he's going to have to lose the irony. And fast.

2. Kristy McNicol, A Carpenters Christmas (1977) — Leave it to the era's most famous TV tomboy to upstage her own honey-voiced host, but Karen Carpenter was just a fraction of McNicol's competition in the climactic ensemble number "My New Year's Resolution." Harvey Korman? Puppets? The infamously precise Carpenters band? Amateurs all! If Colbert doesn't revive this number, then we're not watching.

3. Bea Arthur, The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) — It may not be George Lucas's most reviled piece of work, but it's the only misstep he's disavowed. Traces remain online, of course, epitomized by saloonkeeper Bea Arthur's desperate plea to clear the Mos Eisley Cantina of its drunken intergalactic riff-raff. Colbert would do well to learn the mistakes of the past lest he be condemned to repeat them; no one has 30 years to wait for his show to be funny, unintentionally or otherwise.

4. Jerry Lawler and Nick Gulas, WHBQ Christmas Special (1976) — The Memphis UHF channel hosted its own wrestling-themed holiday show in 1976, welcoming legend Jerry Lawler and skeevy promoter Nick Gulas to the air to thank the city's fans for the previous year's support. And what a reward! If you don't cry at the pure spirit of giving here — particularly in Lawler's segment — then you're a Grinch. This kind of microtargeting will make huge strides in the Colbert-averse heartland.

5. Bing Crosby and David Bowie, Bing Crosby Christmas Special (1977) — The most awkward intergenerational pairing in the history of holiday TV, Crobsy/Bowie is beyond imitation — but not beyond homage. May we suggest some earnest, sexually ambiguous harmonizing with David Archuleta?

Fey: That thing was edited kind of weird.

I was really talking about audiences and how audiences respond weirdly to things. When I was talking I said, 'Like you know, on Weekend Update or anything' and that kind of went away so it seemed like I was saying something bad about those guys. I think they know that I think their show is great and would actually never be disparaging on their show."

While that should be satisfactory for most, we'd still like to see some sort of symbolic gesture to finally put this ugly chapter behind us: Perhaps Fey can appear as a guest on The Daily Show, at one point shedding her brightly patterned sun-tunic and climbing onto a circular bed for a gauzy-lensed, multi-position lovemaking session with the mistakenly maligned host, to the rapturous clapter of the studio audience.

• 30 Rock's Tina Fey Clarifies Her Remark About The Daily Show [cinemablend.com]

COMEDY queen Tina Fey says that while she makes people laugh, political pundit Jon Stewart only makes them uncomfortable.

Fey tells Reader's Digest she prefers it when audience members laugh rather than applaud because, "You can prompt applause with a sign." She added, "My friend Seth Meyers coined the term 'clapter,' which is when you do a political joke and people go, 'Woo-hoo.' It means they sort of approve but didn't really like it that much. You hear a lot of that on [whispers] 'The Daily Show.' "

The ratio of topical jibes delivered weekly on both satirical newscasts, measuring at Weekend Update's 1 to the Daily Show's 1250, could explain the laughter discrepancy. Still, we think Fey is being ever so slightly dishonest in knocking the competition, as she knows better than anyone that Lorne Michaels had studio 8-H outfitted with flashing "WHOO," "BIG WHOO," "SNICKER," "CHUCKLE," "GUFFAW," and "INCONTINENCE" signs midway through Victoria Jackson's second season, ensuring he'd never again have to endure 90 minutes of dead silence response to the parade of not-quite-ready-for-primetime sketches that made it to air.

• TINA RIPS JON [NY Post]

And if I've forgotten anybody, well, it's just that I'm still in character."

Now Alzheimer's experts are up in arms and pleading with Oscar emcee Jon Stewart to avoid any humor about the disease during the telecast. So says Peter Braun from the California Southland chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, "People don't laugh about cancer; people don't laugh about AIDS. We call on the academy to use this moment for good, as it has done for so many other social causes." Way to suck all the fun out of everything, guys! And we were so looking forward to Jon's five-minute musical number dedicated to The Savages and Away From Her where he keeps forgetting the lyrics.

Well, since Jon Stewart won't be doing any Alzheimer's jokes, we guess the burden falls on us. Here's one to tell your friends on Sunday:

A guy walks into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Sir, I'm afraid I have some bad news. #1) you have cancer and #2) you have Alzheimer's." The guy replies, "Alzheimer's, eh? Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

You've been a great crowd. Good night!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Cool it on the Alzheimer's jokes, group urges [LAT]

For those of you worried that Stewart and his freshly-unstruck writing staff have been sitting in a room for days doing nothing but honing their Marion Cotillard zingers, you needn't fret. Jon Stewart reassures us that he's not just gonna get up there and make fun of everyone:

The thing I always have to fight is I have a tendency to undercut. It's the comedy of deflation in large amount. That doesn't necessarily work on the greatest night of their lives. There is a strong tension between respecting these people and somehow deflating them while standing in that room. I like that. I find that tension interesting."

[Photo Credit: NY Times]

• Jon Stewart, Hands Long Tied by Strike, Pedals Fast for Oscars [NY Times]

· Following through on its threats to abandon the traditional TV development system, NBC picks up Kath & Kim* straight to series with a six episode order, bypassing the wasteful, "let's see if this actually works when we try and shoot it" pilot phase. (*In fairness, this is a Pre-Proven Foreign Hit, so domestic success is virtually guaranteed.) [Variety]
· Brittany Murphy CareerWatch: the actress signs on for the indie Across the Hall, and is considering a chance to replace thrice-rehabbed insurance nightmare Lindsay Lohan in the troubled Poor Things. [THR]
· Casey Affleck is cast in the yet-to-be-scripted adaptation of Tom Epperson's period noir drama The Kind One, in which he'll play the most adorable (pinch his cheeks! Jump on his face!) amnesiac who makes the mistake of falling in love with a sadistic killer's girlfriend Hollywood has ever seen. [Variety]

The disagreement spiralled out of control into a tragic tangle of responsibility-claiming and show disruptions that spilled onto all three hosts' sets last night, culminating in the Rambo-quality atrocities unflinchingly documented by O'Brien's Late Show cameras; proceed on to the video only if you're sure you're equipped to handle four punishing, uninterrupted minutes of Louisville Slugger bludgeonings, the gruesome torching of pasty comedian flesh, and a near-beheading by the razor-sharp blades of a pair of hockey skates.

• Late Night with Conan O'Brien [NBC.com]

· The Daily Show host and noted sympathetic unibrowist Jon Stewart would like to reach a deal with his staff the way David Letterman did, but because the WGA will only negotiate with show owners (like Dave), they'll only deal with Comedy Central. [Variety]
· The 11th annual Online Film Critics Society Awards blows their internet-based-reviewer wads all over the old men of No Country. [Variety]
· Finally, some good news: The Two Coreys, A&E's bold foray into the loosely scripted cohabitating has-been reality TV format, has gotten a second season pickup. [THR]

While Stewart lamented his program's inability to get the kind of side-deal the WGA made with Worldwide Pants (the Guild, it seems, isn't really embracing the idea of giving corporate monolith Viacom a break), he still dedicated most of the show to the strike; in the above segment—one probably not as improvised as the WGA would like, but given the pro-cause subject matter, the union probably won't be sending anyone over to Stewart's office to have a testy sit-down about strike rules—the host details the dispute over internet compensation, explaining how the $1.99 fees charged for iTunes downloads of his show are purely a shipping and handling charge, the proposed "Shut The Fuck Up" formula for new-media residuals, and how the viewing of written content on iPods clearly falls under the "Hickory Farms promotional cheese" principle.

• Writers Strike [TheDailyShow.com]
• Comedy Central Hosts Return to TV [NY Times]

In a show of solidarity with his fellow scribes, the Daily Show host has told his writing staff that he will cover all their salaries for the next two weeks, according to a well-placed source. He has also vowed to do the same for writers on The Colbert Report. A Comedy Central spokesman referred my inquiry about this to Stewart's personal publicist, who has yet to respond.

Stewart's intention, says the source, is to ensure his writers will face no financial hardship should the strike, which kicked off at 3 a.m. local time, conclude within that timeframe.

Of course, even Stewart's generosity will eventually reach its limit, as he probably won't be able to bankroll his staff indefinitely—especially when Viacom corporate overlord Sumner Redstone, enraged by the host's interference in their labor war, instructs the AMPTP bargaining committee: "Even if we're ready to cut a deal, make sure this thing lasts longer than two weeks. I can't really have him killed because we're probably going to need him to keep doing his silly show during the strike, but I still want that writer-loving fucker to hurt a little."

• Stewart Will Keep Striking 'Daily' Writers Afloat [Portfolio]

• The Daily Show [thedailyshow.com]
• Previously: Letterman Prepares His Viewers For The Writers Strike [Defamer]

Though Stewart's previous turn as emcee of Hollywood Biggest Night was met by both low ratings and mixed critical reaction (there's really no pleasing Tim Allen) we're willing to give him another chance: he was profoundly unlucky in drawing the coveted assignment in a year irretrievably tainted by a Crash Best Picture win, and can't be blamed for the mass rioting that immediately followed the hand-over of Paul Haggis' second statuette of the cursed ceremony, an uprising that resulted in the tragic burning to the ground of the Kodak amidst chants of "Worst! Oscars! Ever!" With Oscar's home completely rebuilt and the unlikelihood that we'll experience another apocalypse-harkening upset, Stewart's return should be a triumphant one that helps to erase the painful memories of the unfortuante events of that March 2006 evening.

• Academy to Invite Jon Stewart Back as Oscar Host [NY Times]
• Jon Stewart to return as Oscar host [AP]

Not surprisingly, Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" didn't say much during his Daily Show interview last night—the Stallion is a creature of majestic, beautiful deeds, not words. But at the onset of his chat to promote You, Me, and Dupree, Wilson seemed to be having so much trouble coaxing from his brain appropriate verbal expression of his Stallionness that a bemused Jon Stewart felt compelled to ask, "How high are you right now?" Wilson's resulting laugh and hypnotic swiveling in the guest chair gave us all the answer we already knew: Very, very high.

• Daily Show
• Previously: The Butterscotch Stallion Flees The Paparazzi [Defamer]