In today's installment: Francis Ford Coppola and Pauly Shore (duh!), Tom Hanks, Bob Newhart, Warren Beatty, Woody Allen, Katherine Heigl, The Jonas Brothers, Forrest Whitaker, David Spade, Michael Cera, Johnny Knoxville, Rita Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Rose McGowan, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, Bobby Trendy, Joshua Kelley, Kevin Farley, Tila Tequila, Robin Antin, Charlyne Yi and more.

MONDAY, JULY 28
· Very few people impress and awe me as I have lived here most of my life and work at a place where I see amazing people every day. However, Monday while I was trekking up Westwood Blvd to hit Un-whole Foods for lunch when my jaw dropped. Coming out of Rite Aid was none other than BOB NEWHART. It was such a total shock. He is a national treasure. He should be escorted around in a popemobile or something that fits his stature, not hobnobbing with mere mortals. Then, the next days, I was having an apres earthquake lunch with a friend at The Stand and, what do you think, she tells me that she just saw Bob at the CVS south of Wilshire! He seems to be making the rounds. Gotta love him!

TUESDAY, JULY 29
· FORREST WHITAKER indulging some fans outside ONE Sunset. Not as big as I thought he'd be.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 30
· I spotted JASON SCHWARTZMAN in the Staples on Sunset. He wasn’t holding any office supplies, but he did look like a man on a mission. Very handsome, although much smaller than I would have expected.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 1
· I was celebrating another lamb to slaughter (aka bachelorette) party on Friday night at the busted "club" Tao in Vegas that's in the Venetian/shopping mall. Our table and both area ended up being a thoroughfare for ho's who wanted to hop on a near-by platform type area that faced the DJ booth blaring out a medley of top 40 thru the years. FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA was sitting on the other side of our booth —just sitting— fat, old and alone and no one seemed to pay him much mind. I was still contemplating the surreal aspect of his presence and wondering why the fuck he would be wasting his time in such a lame place when I almost got knocked over by PAULY SHORE. I assumed he was in a crazed rush to get to FFC, imagining this as his moment to get on cinematic top due to a magical chance meeting with a great director at a club in a mall. I positioned myself to get a full view of their sure to be awkward exchange. It took PS about 10 minutes to get up the nerve to bumrush FFC and it was over quick. It soon became clear that the real story of the night was PS's apparent need to commute to Vegas for club pussy. He sat on the platform for hours grabbing and pawing at any tallish, blonde-ish Forever 21 dress model that danced within his grasp. I saw only one of them give him the hands-off, the rest all reacted quite favorably. It was truly incredible. I can only assume that Paulyy takes the LV tourism ads to heart. Perhaps rejected and dejected outside an LA club one night- a light went on..." Not only will I probably be able to get into clubs there -If everything that happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas..then surely some drunk, vacationing skanks will hit it with me!"
· Seinfeld's LARRY "THE SOUP NAZI" THOMAS having breakfast at Aroma Cafe in Studio City.
· WARREN BEATTY with two young girls (daughters?) and a blond
woman at Humprey Yogart in Sherman Oaks.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 2
· Saw RITA WILSON and TOM HANKS at the Century City Mall with, I think, their youngest son, walking by the Apple store. I recognized Rita first and wouldn't have known it was Tom until I heard him laugh. They looked like a nice, happy family. One of the more normal spottings I've had in this damn city.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 3
· As I was sauntering down the alley behind Fiesta Cantina on my way to one of the WeHo bars that looks like a W hotel, I came upon BOBBY TRENDY with two (real) girls giving advice to some 'roided out queen in a Mercedes convertible. They were assuring said queen that his outfit looked good. Note to 'roided out queen: do not take sartorial advice from fucking Bobby Trendy. He basically agreed you looked good in bleached, capris lengthed overalls (!) with a thin black belt and white espadrilles.
· I spotted the Skanksis of Evil: Piggez Hilton, ROBIN ANTIN of Pussycat Dolls 'fame' and gay rights pioneer, TILA TEQUILA at 11. Piggez was basking in the lamelight of the other two and wouldn't be surprised if he called the paps himself. Not all the cheap beer prices in the 'Ho could destroy those images. And don't you think i didn't try.
· Had multiple celeb sightings at the Dolly Parton concert at the Greek theatre Sunday night. First, saw KATHERINE HEIGL with hubby JOSHUA (who is surprisingly hot in person). JUSTIN CHAMBERS was with them as well. Katherine was wearing glasses, sun dress, looked nice. Waited in line for the bathroom like a normal person. Right after I saw them, a strikingly pale and plasticky looking chick walked by in a yellow dress...turns out it was ROSE MCGOWAN. She was with some dude who wasn't Robert Rodriguez...guess they really broke up, or he's not a Dolly fan. Finally, walking out I nearly bumped into JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, tall and haggard looking, which I guess is the result of beating the crap out of yourself for a living.
· Went to the amazing Dolly Parton show on August 3rd. Spotted a grey-haired JOHNNY KNOXVILLE (with daughter in tow?) and MR. AND MRS. KATHERINE HEIGL Hate to break it to you, but when a fan or two approached her, she seemed smiley and rather gracious. Or maybe I had too much wine.

MONDAY, AUGUST 4
· MICHAEL CERA and CHARLYNE YI having a late lunch at Mustardseed, just now. They were with two other guys I couldn't identify by the backs of their heads. I recognized Charlyne Yi first and then noticed the beloved George Michael whose hair was cropped super short, rendering him naturally incognito.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 5
· Saw those cute Menudo boys [Ed. Note - I'm assuming she means THE JONAS BROTHERS, because surely the members of Menudo can no longer be considered "cute", right?] being rushed to their Delta flight yesterday morn. Security had to grab them as so many little teen girls were hounding them. Gotta luv those boy bands!
· ASHLEE SIMPSON and PETE WENTZ at the Hush Sound show at El Rey Theatre. They chilled in the band's private booth upstairs with all Pete's friends.
· I spotted WOODY ALLEN outside the Los Angeles Shakespeare Theater offices downtown talking to comedian BRENTLY HEILBRON. Is it for this?

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6
· DAVID SPADE (in mesh baseball cap & jacket... in August?) with KEVIN FARLEY at the Steve Miller show Wednesday at the Nokia. Not in the "pit", but close and either playing air guitar or making fun of the folks around them ... which was weird because they were there and clearly fans. (I got free tickets and figured what the hell, but I have to say Steve Miller is rock solid and clearly loved by his fans.)

LUKE Wilson had to change his cellphone number this weekend, thanks to an annoying prank by his pal Johnny Knoxville.

The "Jackass" star found out Wilson was going to hang out at the Polaroid Beach House in Malibu for the Boost Mobile party Saturday and hired a plane to hover above the place with a banner that read: "Luke Wilson's phone number 3105000082." Apparently, it was his real number. It's now out of service. But Wilson decided not to hang at the beach, probably because he had to deal with all the annoying calls.

Luckily for Wilson, the nightmare period in which he was deluged with calls from random beachgoers wondering if he'd be willing to "take a look at my script—it's sort of Idiocracy meets Vacancy," was over once his mobile provider arranged for a new number. There's no guaranteeing Wilson's original number won't eventually be recycled, however, resulting in a celebrity telecommunications fiasco similar to the UCLA student who was assigned Paris Hilton's number—only, we hope, without the strange, Greek-accented men calling at ungodly hours to ask, "Baby girl, how are you?"

• SKY-HIGH PRANK [NY Post]

Perry Caravello claims Kimmel never paid him for his work in the 2003 TV movie Windy City Heat. According to the suit, Knoxville also promised to pay him to promote the DVD release of the film on Carolla's show last fall if he agreed to place his genitals in a mousetrap.

"Plaintiff agreed to do so, and, much to his emotional tranquility and to his physical harm, was severely injured when the trap literally went on his manhood," the suit contended.

Caravello also was humiliated when clips of the incident, which he says were filmed without his permission, made it to the Internet, his suit claims.

A cursory search for the mousetrap incident on YouTube has turned up fruitless, but in a promotional Kimmel appearance from September, Caravello still appears to not be completely in on the joke. Sadly, Knoxville and the others ultimately took their pranksterism too far, injuring the most precious anatomical region of a man who had sacrificed too much for his art already. It's a mistake for which they should pay dearly—that is, unless the plaintiff quietly agrees to an out-of-court settlement, waving any damages in exchange for agreeing to allow Caravello (who appears to have been bitten as firmly by the acting bug as that rodent trap bit his balls) to reprise the role of Fury in WCH 2.

• 'Jackass' star sued [USA Today/AP]
• Windy City Heat on Jimmy Kimmel Live 9-27-06 - part1 [YouTube]

The Best Week Ever blog has video of Steve-O's Jackass Number Two premiere red carpet wee-wee-trickling misadventures. (Those hoping for a glimpse of the Pecker-O will be disappointed to find a dancing BWE logo obfuscating the oft-punished goodies, but you can always go back to our original photo post for an unobstructed view.) Co-star/walking Budweiser billboard Johnny Knoxville seems completely over the proceedings, saying, "You're on your own, kid," with a thought bubble magically appearing above him a moment later reading, "I shoulda ditched these retards for the Wilson brothers a long time ago."

• ICYMI: Some Wasted Jackass Holding His Unremarkably-Sized Penis, From Which Urine Sporadically Drips, While Being Filmed On the Red Carpet of His Movie Premiere [BestWeekEver.tv]
• Previously: Steve-O Irrigates The Red Carpet [Defamer]

· "There is a point, however, at which the movie becomes simply sickening...[F]eats of grossness are accomplished that are so vile even the hardiest among the cast cannot suppress the upchuck." [Seattle P-I]
· "Projectile vomiting figures prominently during other episodes, and the camera never turns away...Indeed, it remains firmly affixed on the effluence, as auds are left to ponder various meanings of the term 'gag.'" [Variety]
· "These eight or so merrymakers join Knoxville in stunts designed not only to break teeth, bones and the human spirit but also to activate gag reflexes—cameramen are seen vomiting, as are sound guys and, with surprising frequency, the stars themselves. I myself experienced dangerous nausea levels for three or four hours after the movie ended. Seriously." [Chicago Tribune]

· "Steve-O is by far the craziest and is able to get most of his crew to vomit after each antic he performs. Much of it is too disgusting to repeat in mixed company, but know there are several scenes that will cause even the most iron-stomached person to gag." [Arizona Republic]
· "These clowns are so good at what they do (or is it that they're so wonderfully inept?) that their film is often drop-jaw funny. But be forewarned, when you're not laughing out loud you could well be trying hard not to lose your lunch." [Atlanta J-C]
· "Whether you laugh, shriek or fight the urge to puke reveals as much about you as years of psychotherapy. [Star Tribune]
· [Y]ou'll probably spend as much time wincing as you do laughing your ass off....You'll laugh 'til you puke, if you don't puke first." [Film Threat]
· "[A] sequel that's even wilder, funnier, extra-depraved and more gag-inducing than the seemingly incomparable 'Jackass the Movie.'" [THR]

In today's jam-packed episode: Owen Wilson; Luke Wilson and Johnny Knoxville; Julia Roberts, Jason Biggs, Virginia Madsen, Peter Farrelly, Jessica Biel and Garry Shandling; Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols; Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed; Chris Rock; Jerry Bruckheimer and Steven Weber; Keira Knightley; Ray Romano, Ed Harris, Brian Bosworth, Rick Schroeder and Dorothy Lucey; Lindsay Lohan; Brain Grazer; Zach Braff; Daryl Hannah; Sharon Stone, Laurence Fishburne, Angela Basett, Danny Glover, and D.L. Hughley; Jeremy Piven; Mattew Perry; Mischa Barton; Melissa McCarthy; Larry Flynt; Ryan Gosling; Amy Adams; Anne Ramsey; Anna Paquin; Cherry Jones; Hank Azaria; Adrian Grenier and Kevin Connelly; Sandra Oh; Mo Gaffney; Giovanni Ribisi; Mark Harmon; Lance Armstrong; Christina Applegate; Natasha Lyonne; Carla Gugino; Mr. T; Corbin Bernsen; Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Rusler; Janice Dickinson; Chad Allen; Kevin Richardson and Michael Lerner.

· Monday 9/4 (Labor Day), saw the Butterscotch Stallion himself, Owen Wilson, leaving the Los Angeles County Museum with a nonfamous male friend. Don't know if they had come to enjoy the final day of the great exhibit of David Hockney portraits, but they both had big white shopping bags from the Museum Store. People in the museum courtyard were all agog — "Dude! I just saw Owen Wilson!" "No way!" "Totally, I did!" It was quite the exciting sighting, especially considering the wholesome and upliftingly educational venue. You stay classy, Owen!

· On Saturday night we were at Barney's Beanery celebrating my sister's birthday and we spotted Luke Wilson and Johnny Knoxville. They came separately, but ended up sharing a booth near us. It seemed like such an odd pairing (can't Luke do better than that?), we wondered if they had even intended to meet there, or if it was a coincidence and they thought, "Well, hey, we're both famous, so we might as well hang out."

· Dave Matthews Band show @ the Hollywood Bowl on Monday night - Jason Biggs hooking up 6-8 friends with tix and passes; Virginia Madsen cutting a rug (and looking great!) in one of the upper Garden Boxes; Peter Farrelly in another Garden Box; Julia Roberts, to whom Dave Matthews dedicated their song "Dream Girl" (she's in the music video); Jessica Biel; and Garry Shandling looking very bored and unimpressed.

· Out for a romantic dinner at Jar last night, spied dreamy-eyed boat of dreamboat dreams Jake Gyllenhaal dining with Official Jake Gyllenhaal BFF Austin Nichols. Couldn't see what Jake was eating, even through my finest set of opera glasses, but he sat slumped enough in his seat that I momentarily suspected he was being served his meal from unde the table. I wanted to walk by and casually ask him if he ever suffers morning sickness from sympathetic sibling pregnancy, but I didn't.

· Sunday night at the Sherman Oaks Galleria we were sitting at a round table in front of Tower Records waiting for our table at Cheesecake Factory when Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed strolled by. I noticed her first, mainly because I was pointing out women who have had work done to my boyfriend's mom as we people-watched, and was getting ready to discreetly point out this woman. Then I saw her companion was Gene Simmons and did the math. He looked just like he does in that billboard with his family, and she obviously looked a little worked-over. They headed into the movie theater area, and we couldn't follow because our table was ready and that was way more important.

Saw Chris Rock on August 27th with his family at Six Flags. They entered into the Riddler through a secret door and cut in front of us and into the first row seats, which meant we had to wait for the next train. Bastards. We saw them walking around after with a female security guard to protect them. He is short-ish and skinny, but that's what I expected.

· 9/1 around 6:30pm, I saw Gene Simmons waiting for traffic to clear to pull his humongous black Lincoln Navigator out of a mini-mall parking lot and onto Laurel Canyon Blvd. He wasn't doing anything outrageous, so I briefly considered taking actions to try to provoke him into sticking his legendary tongue out at me.

· Thursday 8/24 at Katsuya in Brentwood... Jerry Bruckheimer and Steven Weber (not together). Steven Weber is the blue eyed guy from "Wings" due to be on Studio 60 on Sunset. He was there with his wife.

· Keira Knightley (8-31), spotted at the Jane Doe's gig last night in Santa Monica, at O'Brien's - place was packed.

· Went to the Malibu Labor Day Carnival @ the country mart on Friday night - aka "the locals night" - with some friends from out of town & saw a smorgasbord of stars.

First spotting was fit & baseball capped "Right Stuff" star Ed Harris hanging by The Tornado. At the polar opposite end of the star galaxy was former football bust "The Boz" - Brian Bosworth, followed by "Silver Spoons/NYPD Blue" actor Rick "Don't Call Me Ricky" Schroeder, who incidentally lost to his buddy @ the Water Pistol/Balloon Pop thingamajiggy. "Good Day LA's" Dorothy Lucey, actually hotter looking in person, was chillin' by the Ferris Wheel with what looked like friends/family - and the topper, "Everybody Loves Raymond Star, Ray Romano - who won a giant stuffed dog @ one of the booths & celebrated by holding it aloft & screaming "I won" for all to see/hear.

· Sunday, Aug 27th, 1:40pm, COOGIES in Malibu: LINDSAY LOHAN and boy toy, a scruffy looking Harry Morton strolled in. When told they'd have to wait ten minutes for a table just like REGULAR folks, they left and got in a huge black Escalade. No paparazzi around but one guy leaned out his car window and snapped a phone camera. Ten minutes later they were back and seated outside. Me and my friends weren't that impressed. She was wearing great sixties hippie suede boots (but Hello it was like 90 degrees out) and a beach coverup type dress. She's skinny and freckley and was on the phone the entire time she there, but I was happy to see she was nice to the little kids who recognized her and went up to her table. No one else really cared, after all this is Malibu...if it aint Brangelina why bother?

· Saw Brian Grazer at Coogi's in Malibu. Seems nice, though he did walk as if he was waiting to be swamped by people. Was having lunch with a normal older couple and a teenage boy. Hugged them and seemed very warm and happy.

· Saw Zach Braff driving down La Cienega in a BIG jeep. He pulled up next to me and was very cute.

· Daryl Hannah fireside at Burning Man Saturday night. yep, it was her.

· Tuesday night, I was invited to a preview performance of August Wilson's "Fences" at the Pasadena Playhouse (with Laurence Fishburne and Angela Basset in the leads...I guess they really are doomed to portraying nothing but disfunctional/abusive/fucked up couples when they share the stage). It was a fundraiser, so what does that mean? Celebrities, baby!

While scarfing down some free panini (a little melted and greasy, but still free), a limo pulls up. My friend who got me the tickets said Beyonce was supposed to show up, but it turned out to be Danny Glover, who later introduced the play. And as much as it pains me to use that gawdawful cliche, he really did look too old for that shit.

During intermission, I was standing in the booze line when a small
blonde woman walked by. Turned out to be Sharon Stone, who looked nothing like the screen but still projected that intense I'm-going-to-ride -you-then- repeadedly-jab-an-icepick-into-your-heart vibe. Looked good, though. If she's had work done, it was worth the cost 'cause it didn't show.

And while the program listed several Honorary Hosts like Samuel L.
Jackson ("Get this muthafuckin' drama about the African-American
experience off my muthafuckin' stage!"), I had to settle for D.L. Hughley, who was dapper in a snap brim hat, but short.

The play, by the way, rocked. Though I did think about Ike and Tina
just a little bit.

· Walking down South Santa Monica Blvd in BH. A Range Rover stops and parks in the red zone, puts its flashers on, causing the Lexus behind to hit the horn really hard and jaunt around it. From the Rover out pops Ari Gold himself, Jeremy Piven, in a plain white t-shirt. He casually jogs up to the cigar store, tugs on the door, looks to the big sign that reads "open at 4 pm" and then pretending not to be noticed, jogs right back into his Range Rover, flashers still on. Nothing says Emmy winner like double-parking.

· Matthew Perry was buying Calvin Klein underwear and socks at a clothing store at the Malibu Country Mart on Sunday, Sept. 3rd. On the same day, Mischa Barton was there at the Mart.

On Monday, I saw Melissa McCarthy who plays "Sookie St James" at Universal appliance store on Laurel Canyon and Ventura in Studio City.

· Saw the hustler himself, Larry Flynt, on Main Street in Santa Monica pimpin' the gold plated wheelchair on Sunday. Looked like he was waiting for a table for brunch. In addition to being plump and pasty, Larry looked pretty out of it - a blank gaze and his mouth half open. His bodyguard, on the other hand, was smokin'! He can guard my body anytime....

· Long time reader, first time contributor here. All three sightings occured downtown. Who knew? : First we saw Anne Ramsey entering a theatre production of a no name show. She looked like she did on "The L Word" -small and disheveled. After a semi-lame art thing in an artist commune (gag), we ended up at Pete's - a semi hip downtown place that takes itself a little too seriously. Good food though. While sitting out on the patio I spied a familiar looking red head inside. Turns out it's Amy Adams. She was petite and cute. However, looked normal, you know, like your college roommate or something. She wore a horrible long, potato sack type dress. As our meal wore on, a scruffy Ryan Gosling walked by us on the sidewalk. He was greasy, and had a full beard. Totally caught me staring at him. I was surprised to see the star power where bums regularly pee in the street.

· Thursday, 8/24. Anna Paquin at a table at the Abbey with a strange mix of folks — a couple fellow skinny, white little twelve-year-olds and several early-30's-looking lesbians. Who knows what that's about, but Anna looked tiny and adorable.

Saturday, 8/26. Girlfriends Cherry Jones and Sarah Paulson walking hand-in-hand, leaving brunch at Lulu's Cafe on Beverly. Dressed down in workout wear, hats and sunglasses. Had to go in for a second look for confirm — Cherry is in great shape and they don't look mismatched age-wise at first viewing. Seem sweet together.

· 9/2 on Beverly Blvd going west past the Beverly Center about 3pm; 8/26 going west on Whittier crossing Wilshire into the Beverly Hilton about 4:30pm: Hank Azaria, still in his Aston-Martin, still on the phone, still with the spiky 'do, still going about 12 mph. The man will be dead by spring of either A) skin cancer B) RAZR-shaped brain tumor or C) attack by someone in a old hooptie incensed that he won't let that poor car hit third gear...

· Ran across the street to the Regent Beverly Wilshire to get $5.00 gum and ran into Adrian Grenier and Kevin Connelly filming Entourage. Adrian was in his typical Vincent Chase ensemble - jeans, t-shirt and button down combo and Kevin was in Eric the manager mode wearing a suit. Adrian had tons of fans coming up to him telling them how much they loved the show while he was on the telephone. HE WAS VERY POLITE AND WAS ACKNOWLEDGING EVERYONE EVEN THOUGH HE WAS ON THE PHONE. Kevin on the other hand was busy on his Sidekick (perhaps to Nikki????) smoking a cigarette while sitting on a luggage cart being completely passed over by everyone. Could be that when you are short and sitting down everyone misses you or that everyone was so taken back by Adrian's blue eyes.

Didn't see the rest of the posse - could have been inside with the extras hanging out.

· Sunday 08.27, 4:30 pm @ The Grove: while having a late lunch at The Farm, saw a familiar looking guy with big hair and a grey suit stolling past, and realized that it was Adrian Grenier. No Drama, no Turtle...no entourage at all in fact, just hangin' solo. Weird thing is, no one walking by seemed to notice. Maybe they were pissed that he fired Ari.

· Stopped at a light at Santa Monica and Rodeo 8/30 at 8 a.m. and saw Adrian Grenier idling next to me, yawning and blinking awake. He was in a silver Prius that looked like Johnny Drama had taken a golf club to it — not a full-on crusher, just way more dents and dings than your average TV star would seem likely to tolerate. And he drives himself! Guess Entourage isn't so true to life after all.

Sunday 9/3 - Saw Sandra Oh with typical Los Angeles hipster guy at the LA County Museum of Art. She was taking in the last days of the David Hockney exhibit but was going through it backwards. She looked lovely without a trace of makeup on. Her presence was also detected by the closest filipino museum guard, who raised an eyebrow when she passed. Coincedentally, the last time I saw her at LACMA she was there with now-ex Alexander Payne. She looked happier this time! oh yeah, i saw Mo Gaffney (probably me and my three friends would recognize her, it took me awhile to figure it out - "Marshall's wife" on AbFab) at my Gelson's in Studio City yesterday

· I was having breakfast at the Alcove on Hillhurst at around 9.00AM today (Monday, September 4) and spotted Giovanni Ribisi with his daughter enjoying their grub. He didn't look like I'm used to seeing him in films; instead he was very, very trim, sported close-cropped hair, and looked generally normal. Hooray for Scientologists!

· At the John Fogerty concert at the Greek in LA on Saturday, September 2nd. My girlfriend and I were standing at the south entrance when who should walk by, none other than the 1980's sexiest man alive Mark Harmon. He was with a group of everday joe's (all 45-55 yr. old males) that look like they could by anyone's neighbor. My only regret is that I did not have the time to ask him about that long rumored sequel to Summer School

· I just got home from the AMAZING acoustic Foo Fighters show at the Pantages and am actually remembering (for once) to email you guys my sighting. My friends and I walked into the theater lobby half way through Frank Black's opening set and, as we stared at the band merch they had for sale, we were shocked to see Lance Armstrong hanging out by the little bar cart in the middle of the lobby with all us common people. I kept checking, hoping that he'd snap his fingers and either Matthew McConaughey or Jake Gyllenhaal would magically appear by his side but no such luck. He was just with a unfamiliar but cute girl.

· Saw Christina Applegate at "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" at the Pantages, evening performance, 8/27. She looked cute - newsboy hat, all black outfit, boots, funky bag, that darling pointy nose - and was enjoying an intermission smoke with a gal pal and a guy with nice arm tats. What made this sighting xtra perverse was the huge posters at the Pantages advertising the upcoming stop of the road production of "Sweet Charity" starring...wait for it...so wrong...Molly Ringwald. Wonder how Kelly Bundy feels about Samantha Baker/Claire Standish/Andi Walsh doing her Broadway role.

· Sunday night. Coral Beach Cantina, PCH just south of Zuma. Pull up behind a large SUV, from which a pair of skinny jeans and hideous snakeskin boots was emerging. Stepped up the pace so as to beat said skinny jeans, snakeskin boots wearing individual to the sign-in sheet. Turned around to see it was none other than Natasha Lyonne, who proceeded to join a group of friends at a nearby table. She spent the rest of the night engaged in classic celebrity don't look at me/pay attention to me behavior - wearing sunglasses at night while endlessly chasing the restaurant staff around (more chairs, more heat lamps, more drinks, etc.). I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out of she's preggers. She was wearing a black a-line halter top, which practically screamed "bump", but I couldn't get a decent angle. She was smoking like a fiend all night long, so I hope not.

· Sunday, Sept. 3- Leaving the 5:00pm screening of The Illusionist (the movie's greatest trick: making two hours of my life disappear into thin air) at the Arclight. Saw Carla Gugino standing at the upstairs consession counter with some tall, scruffy looking guy. Alas, she wasn't wearing her outfit (or lack thereof) from Sin City, but she still looked smokin in a black dress and a leather coat.

Sighting today Wee-Man (Jason Pontius) and chris pontius reading ok! magazine on my american airlines flight to nyc. And chris meloni also on my american flight 2day

The Palm, Wednesday 8/30: I was late to dinner so I was too frazzled to notice, but my dining companions pointed out Mr. T having dinner with a small group at a table near ours. He had an American flag bandanna on his head, and our waiter informed us that he is one of the world's nicest guys. After dinner, outside at the valet stand, we were delighted to get an up-close-and-personal show of an effusive T hugging and kissing his dining companions good-bye, and then thanking the valet with a booming "Shalom, brother!" before folding himself into a silver Mercedes two-seater. Shalom, T!

·...as if living in the valley isn't enough like an episode of the surreal life already, after my tom everett/laura/monica trifecta this weekend, i start off the week with a bang. i'm calmly getting my mani-pedi at studio city spa when who walks in and requests the same, but *corbin bernson*! so glad to see "psych" is paying enough for his pampering.

· Talk about a B-list sighting: Saw Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Rusler (Weird Science reunion tour?) smoking (not tobacco) around the corner from the Laugh Factory on Sunset about 2 am Friday night trying desperately to be recognized. AMH was with some tall blond model-type who looked understandably bored; RR was with some metrosexual who didn't. No Downey sighting to report unfortunately...

· Saw Janice Dickinson this morning at Equinox on Sunet at about 8:30am. She was sitting on one of the mats talking with 2 people. I didnt recognize her at first because she had no make-up on (shocking) but then she started talking and you can't mistake that super loud over the top voice. I was surprised at how good she looked without her usual clown make-up on.

· I saw Chad Allen at Cinespia (Chinatown) this last weekend. It's funny to see him so OUT and about, espically with his mafia in toe. Sportin a Mohawk and all. Bitch is totally queered out now. A far cry from his Jane Stewart years, he still must be reeling from the enquirer pics.

· Spotted Chad Allen sporting a mohawk and looking good at the cemetery screening of "Chinatown" at Hollywood Forever on Saturday (8/26).

· I have no idea if this sighting will have any degree of importance to add to the "sightings round-up" you do, but on Sunday evening, about 9:30, Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson and his wife were shopping at Gelsons at Kings and Santa Monica. I knew I recognized the guy from somewhere — but as I was not a huge Backstreet fan I had to Google some webpages when I got home to confirm it was him. He was in sweats, very low key and had a gray "Mushmouth"-like hat on.

· just ran into character actor michael lerner at the pavilions in west hollywood. the rotund mediocrity, who had a cart filled to the brim, was roaming the check-out aisles complaining to all the checkers that there were 4 express lines open and not enough regular ones. this did not deter him from finally emptying his, at least 40 items, onto the conveyor belt of an express lane, while a senior citizen waited calmly in line behind him. what an ass!

Tremaine: I had nothing to do with that billboard. In fact, I was probably just as surprised as anybody to see that stupid thing... Johnny and the executive producers had some disposable cash apparently, and they thought it would be funny.

...They made sure I saw it. We did a bit a long time ago called "The Convict" where Knoxville was dressed like a convict in a hardware store trying to saw his handcuffs off. The bit was never allowed to be seen, because we didn't do things by legal standards. So the producers told me that we were gonna go down and talk to the West Hollywood Police Department because they were considering letting us use that footage. It was all just a setup to get me down there to see that f—-ing billboard.

MTV: How did people react to the billboard?

Tremaine: I've heard from friends who think it's just hilarious. They all love my tribal work tattoo and the nipple ring I'm sporting.

The self-initiated scheme was so successful in drumming up early buzz for the film that Paramount would be crazy to abandon the gay cruise campaign prematurely. Their marketing group shouldn't give up until every possible Photoshopped combination of Steve-O, Bam, Knoxville, and the gang tangled in compromising scenarios looms above intersections in West Hollywood, where their scrotum-durability testing as entertainment can be best appreciated.

• 'Jackass' Director Says 'Number 2' Is Even Filthier [MTV.com]

• What Kind of 'Jackass' Advertises Like This? [Collider]
• Rainbow Cruise Lines
• Great Moments In Movie Marketing History: Going Down on Paul Walker's Wife [Defamer]

• Picture Stories [MSNBC.com] (Pic 7 of 14)

On Friday night, our spy reports Wilson hooked up with Knoxville at the Meatpacking District's Hog Pit barbecue, where they both "seemed completely out of their minds." Says the source: "On Johnny's way out, he flipped out on a guy who called him a peach and threw the guy into a table, which broke in two. He then hit himself in his own head, as if trying to sober himself up." Sunday afternoon, the duo hit cocktail hour a tad early at Milady's Bar in SoHo, where they blended right in. Shades-wearing Knoxville and puffy-looking Wilson shot pool and kept the drinks coming until Knoxville cut out with a short blond woman. Wilson, who's filming "Super Ex-Girlfriend" in New York with Uma Thurman, looked as if "someone had slipped him a Mickey" and was "mumbling his words" as he chatted with a slinky, raven-haired "rocker chick." After the woman left, Wilson wandered out onto Thompson Street but was ushered back in by the bartender for forgetting to pay his tab. The typically unfazed blue-collar crowd finally took notice and camera flashes popped. Wilson made haste from the bar with an unknown couple.

Let that be a lesson to all inclined to refer to The Ringer star Knoxville as a refreshing piece of fruit: retribution will come swiftly and mercilessly in the form of a Three Stooges routine. As for the formerly svelte, non-Butterscotch flavored Wilson, we would almost dismiss these claims of his recent puffing had it not been for a recent Go Fug Yourself post placing him squarely at an almost-time-for-fat-panic "blue alert" on their Bloat Watch Terror Level Chart.

• JOHNNY, LUKE IN DIVE CRAWL [NY Post]
• Celebrity Bloat Watch: Luke Wilson [Go Fug Yourself]

Last night, MTV trotted out the Jackass crew for a party celebrating the release of the new Jackass Box Set at Circus nightclub in Hollywood. While MTV staged an amazing looking party, they forgot one thing...TO SEND INVITATIONS! I don't know why MTV chose to have a party in the cavernous Circus, home to a Gay Latin Night as well as rave mecca, Spundae. Well, whatever reason there was behind that choice, it will certainly come back to haunt the party planner that the event was EMPTY. I mean, not kinda loose around the edges...but barely half full. The club is already huge and sports an amazingly large outside patio but there was still no one! Not even Mr. Nicole Richie (aka DJ AM) could get more than a few of the miserable attendees to even pretend like they enjoyed it.

All of the regulars were in attendance: Steve-O, Wee-Man, and alleged Jessica Simpson-playmate Johnny Knoxville, as well as the rest of the crew. Also dropping in for the shenanigans were former governor hopeful Mary Carey, Beavis and Butthead creator, Mike Judge, as well as Survivor castoff Johnny Fairplay and Next Top Model's Michelle who enjoyed not one, but two digs in a row by the Fug girls yesterday.

Food ranged from chicken drumsticks in BBQ sauce to about 5 different kinds of tortilla chips and 3 different kinds of salsa. Also in the seemingly random assortment of food were meatballs, mini pizzas, and nachos. The food was actually quite decent for an MTV event and as far as the only food that matters goes (that being, desert), whatever straggling partygoers were still around munched on chocolate dipped goodies like rice krispie treats and fruit.

We're suddenly having flashbacks to Inside TV's infamous Deadest Party That Ever Was, which now seems like a star-studded orgy by comparison. How bad do things have to get before event staffers throw open the doors and start herding in any Santa Monica Boulevard tranny who'll agree to pretend he-she's a Hilton sister, just to fill the place up a little?

• Previously: Defamer Premiere Report: “Brokeback Mountain” Unholstered In Westwood [Defamer]

It's kaput between Lindsay Lohan and Jared Leto. The legendary swordsman, who was keeping Lohan company at the Chateau Marmont and other hotels for the past six months, showed up in Las Vegas alone last weekend to catch the last night of Jeff Beacher's "Madhouse" show at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. After the show, which closed the Vegas Comedy Festival, Leto was "all over" a hot blonde, spies said. Also getting lucky was Johnny Knoxville, who left the show with two blondes on each arm for club Body English, where they all partied the night away.

We get it Knoxville, you dig blondes. But c'mon, Leto obviously looks up to you, his wide, toddler-like eyes sponging up and mimicking everything he sees as if in a state of permanent cognitive development. Couldn't you have peeled the babe off of him (more for you!), and suggested he get on the horn and give his old lady a call? You know Lindsay was up all night beside herself, waiting by the phone. That is, when she wasn't drunk dialing some dude named Jason Lewis she thought was the hottie from Sex and the City.

• Leto is Loose [NY Post]
• Previously: Lindsay Lohan Ready For First Doomed Marriage [Defamer]
• Lohan And Leto Kill John Lennon [Defamer]

"It's always funny when a writer or someone tries (to make something political). They did the same thing with Jackass. They tried to deconstruct Jackass. You fellas can write what you write, but we just went out there to have a ball."

Earlier, Knoxville was asked whether he'd used U.S. President George W. Bush as his model for Luke Duke, the slightly smarter cousin to moonshine partner Bo Duke, who is played by Scott. Knoxville refused to answer the question, saying only, "I'd like to shove it up my ass, the whole question."

Touchy, touchy. What would've happened if someone asked him about the rumors that he spent the entire shoot sleeping with Jessica Simpson? It might've been much more fun to hear him threaten to shove Daisy Duke up his ass.

• Running with the 'Dukes' [Toronto Star]
• Previously: Johnny Knoxville Lays The Groundwork For His Career Contingency Plan [Defamer]