Satriani is reportedly still upset about the British quartet's "Viva La Vida," which boasts a curiously similar melody to one of the guitar icon's '90s masterworks. The ensuing controversy — complete with fan-cultivated evidence and Coldplay leader Chris Martin's infamous "Moe Batriani" kiss-off — had subsided and was thought settled in Wanker Court or wherever such tussles are typically resolved.

But now we know Satriani, like a snake lurking in the tall, think awards-season grass, was simply priming his legal minions for a spectacular sneak attack. Behold — the Grambush:

[A]ttorney Howard King of King Paterno et al [...] claims that Coldplay has dodged being served, and that the Grammys are the easiest forum at which to strike while the iron is hot.

King says, "We have warned their British lawyers that we have hired a fleet of process servers lined up to dog the band everywhere they go this weekend in the hopes of serving them."

King even promises to have camera crews roaming around with the process servers to get the whole thing on tape.

Finally! A reason to watch the Grammys. Still, the strategy seems to entail a lot of work that could probably be consolidated into a single incident like the one that befell Bob Dylan in 1998, with the stage-crashing antics of "Soy Bomb" upgraded to involve four process servers with subpoenas painted in fine print on their bare chests. Either that, or Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift can lyrically duet the documents in the band's direction in a 10-minute awardscast filibuster. Either/or, we'll take whatever.

• Gwyneth's Hubby: Viva La Lawsuit [Fox News]

Coldplay leader/interpretive-dance maven Chris Martin first invoked Satriani's complaint two months ago in a recently unearthed Q&A on Yahoo!, issuing the modest denial:

"When we finished the song 'Viva La Vida,' our only hit single, we knew that was good. And I will maintain that till my dying day, that it's not that bad. Although we are being sued by about 12 people who say that we stole it, though I promise we didn't. Including... I probably shouldn't say. [Laughter] I can't tell you, I can't tell you, but it rhymes with Moe Batriani."

Cheeky! Earlier today, meanwhile, not long after Satriani all but sobbed to MTV in tasty, typically arpeggiated triplets, the band made a more earnest appeal on its Web site:

With the greatest possible respect to Joe Satriani, we have now unfortunately found it necessary to respond publicly to his allegations. If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him. Joe Satriani is a great musician, but he did not write or have any influence on the song 'Viva La Vida.' We respectfully ask him to accept our assurances of this and wish him well with all future endeavours.

Translation: "Seriously, Moe — with the greatest possible respect, we're kind of partial to Ashlee Simpson." We'll see them in court.

• Joe Satriani [Coldplay]

• Coldplagiarism? Say It Ain't So, Joe [Yahoo!]

Satriani cites the inclusion of "substantial original portions" of his 2004 instrumental "If I Could Fly" in Coldplay's own song, which was nominated Friday for the Grammy Awards' Song, Record and a portion of Album of the Year prizes. It's curious timing to be sure; the accompanying video breaking down the melodic and chord-progression similarities between "Viva La Vida" and "If I Could Fly" first surfaced online six months ago, when Coldplay was well past healthy levels of overexposure on tour, on radio, on iPod commercials and anywhere else non-discriminating ears could be found.

But whether Satriani really wants "'any and all profits' attributable to the alleged copyright infringement," as Reuters reports, or if he just wants to force a settlement allowing him to splatter some fuckin' hot lixx all over the Grammy stage seems beside the point. The songs' overlaps are the latest in a disturbing trend of Coldplay kleptomania that previously ensnared Ashlee Simpson and the band the Creaky Boards, and which we expect will naturally lead us to a more insidious investigation: From whom did Chris Martin steal his dance-ish convulsions viewed last month on Saturday Night Live? We think we have a pretty solid guess, but feel free to suggest alternatives.

• Did Coldplay copy Joe Satriani? [YouTube]

• Guitarist Satriani accuses Coldplay of plagiarism [Reuters]