The most recent post to Hyler's CarePages site lays out perhaps a minor problem in the grand scheme of things, but an inconvenience nonetheless: Three months convalescing in and out of comas, sedation and immobility would knock even the best of us out of the industry loop:

Joan continues to be increasingly conversant. It's as if the spigot has been turned on and the full force of the essence of Joan is starting to flow again. She wants to know about her clients. She want to know what's in the trades. She wants to know the gossip in the industry. She's making lists of things to do, and the clothes and makeup and perfume she wants to wear. She talks about spirituality with one of her surgeons who comes by to visit, and has definite opinions about Hillary as Secretary of State. The topics go on and on, and vary from person to person.

We're eager to help out wherever we can, starting with our Defamer Decides 2008 election coverage. But where to even begin there? The Obama phenomenon? Sarah Palin Superstar? Prop 8? John McCain's rogue tongue? And that's not even including such hard-hitting industry developments as ongoing war at The View, the Worst Publicist in the World, Ben Lyons's starfucking,Twilight, Radcliffe naughties, the Weinsteins circling the drain... and lots, lots more.

And since this Saturday, Nov. 28, is Hyler's birthday, and because you know you want to wish her a good one while providing a bit of the open-hearted volunteer service Defamer readers are known for, use the comments as a makeshift birthday card/cheat sheet for Joan Hyler's swift reintroduction to the Hollywood culture mill. What has she missed since Aug. 18, anyhow? And be generous! Knowledge is the original gift that keeps on giving.

• Monday 11/24 @ 600 pm [CarePages]

Details are still thin, but reports this weekend noted that Hyler — whose list of former clients at William Morris includes Madonna, Bob Dylan and Andy Warhol — was hit and thrown by a passing car at an undisclosed location on the highway. She was apparently en route to a party, "clutching a piece of paper with a friend's address on it" when the accident occurred; the friend and Hyler's family were notified almost immediately. Her family has since established a series of regular updates on the hospital Web site (membership required, alas), documenting her progress as evident but expectedly slow:

The reports are more encouraging, but Joan is not out of the woods yet. There are plenty of positive signs, but still a lot of unknowns, so it’s a wait and see scenario. Medically, it is way too complicated to describe, but from a non-professional, here are the positive signs:

—Joan does not need any more blood. She did go through 40 units, however, and the medical staff here was quick to suggest that people who want to participate in her recovery, emotionally, should give blood to replenish the blood bank supply. ...

—We’re going in and talking to Joan. She seems to be responding. I spent some time davening schachris (praying the morning prayers), and she stirred a lot, which I took as a sign that she understood something of what was going on. While I was there, the critical care support team came in to do an assessment, and did “move your right hand, left hand, toes” etc. And the appropriate parts of the body moved, to the small extent possible!

Still no word, however, on the circumstances of the crash itself, particularly the identity and condition of the other driver or if any charges are expected; the update also notes that a preliminary police report is expected in two weeks. We'll pass word along as we have it; best to Hyler in the meantime.

[Photo Credit: WireImage]

• Prominent Manager, Producer Hit By Car, In Critical Condition [KNBC]
• Joan's Updates [Care Pages via Thompson on Hollywood]