• For decades entertainment savants have pondered the question of how to bring art's greatest, almost elemental tale, the Yogi Bear saga, to the screen. Now at last thanks to new technology, they have found a way as a combo live action/CG animated version makes its historic way to the cameras. Naturally Hollywood's biggest stars have been vying for the leading roles, but when the fighting stopped, Dan Aykroyd was the warrior still standing; the former SNL star will voice the great Yogi in his epic search for picnic baskets. Clearly, the role of Boo Boo could go to none other than J Tims, and so it has. Anna Faris will play a previously unknown character described as a "documentary filmmaker." [Variety]

• JJ Abrams is in talks to direct his first TV episode since the 2004 Lost debut. Abrams is considering personally taking the wheel of Undercovers, a spy thriller series he will also Exec Produce. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Disney has made a big bet on 3D, Jim Carrey, Robert Zemeckis and Charles Dickens. The new adaptation of A Christmas Carol comes with a $180 million pricetag, making it the biggest, widest attempt yet to convince audiences that 3D is really so special that they should shell out extra dollars beyond the already wallet-breaking amounts they pay to take the family to a movie. But hey, if it can sorta look like its really snowing in a movie theater, who wouldn't take out a second mortgage to see that? [The Wrap]

• Christmas Carol is expected to win the weekend box office race, with its tracking projecting it to land somewhere between $35 and $45 million. None of the other films opening this weekend, Oscar contenders The Men Who Stared at Goats and Precious, or the alien-horror flic The Fourth Kind, are expected to wind up north of $20 million.

• Moving on from his Ali G stable of characters, Sacha Baron Cohen has formed a production company to develop new material. Four by Two Films has already signed its first deal to shoot Accidentes for Universal, based on the ambulance chasing attorney famed in LA for his side-of-the-bus ads. [Variety]

• With turmoil afoot in the industry, Daily Variety editor Tim Gray forsees a chaotic awards season ahead, thanks to among other factors: changes at the helms of four of the major film companies, the expansion of the Oscar race to ten films, the 3D wild card and a series of previously off the Oscar map companies such as Summit and Magnolia that could become players this year. [Variety]

• The DVR playback numbers are in! Nielsen measures and tabulates up the number of people who ultimately end up watching a show, even long after they air, often boosting upwards a show's total number. The big winners for thus far for the new season: dramas seem to be the viewing of choice in playback mode, in particular, the season premieres of Gray's Anatomy and The Mentalist. The big loser: NBC in general, and The Jay Leno Show in particular which saw almost no playback viewing. [Variety]

• The world's Disney Stores are getting a "floor to ceiling reboot" according to the NY Times. The family entertainment giant wants to turn the experience of shopping for Disney merchandise into more of well, an experience and is considering rebranding the stores as Imagination Parks. [NYT]

• Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, the team behind Comedy Central's recently concluded Reno 911 (and long ago of MTV's The State) have signed a deal to develop a new comedy for NBC. [THR]

• Paramount has paid two million dollars for a pitch. The untitled, undescribed, unknown feature is to be fleshed out by writers Aline Brosh McKenna and Simon Kinberg, and — if you wondered why the big price tag — produced by JJ Abrams. [Variety]

• Matthew Perry wants back on primetime. The former Friend has signed a deal with Sony to develop a single camera sitcom. [THR]

• The Weekly World News tabloid, famed for chronicling negotiations between America's political leaders and extraterrestrial visitors has signed CAA as its agency. The firm will develop entertainment properties based on WWN's cast of characters. No word yet whether Bat Boy will be seated with his fellow client Steven Spielberg at the CAA Christmas party. [THR]

While some attributed the lightness and hope of this summer's successful Star Trek reboot to residual post-Obama good feelings, it was really just a classic genre pic, with zoom around the galaxy, sword fights, explosions and time travel. Not so for the sequel. Re-creator J.J. Abrams, who is writing the script with Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, says their sophomore effort needs a message.

The ambition for a sequel to 'Star Trek' is to make a movie that's worthy of the audience and not just another movie, you know, just a second movie that feels tacked on...There needs to be relevance, yes, and that doesn't mean it should be pretentious. If there are simple truths—truths connected to what we live—that elevates any story—that's true with any story."

Orci echos his sentiments and says that they're looking for the right issue to base the second movie around.

We got a lot of fan response from the first one and a considerable amount of critical response and one of the things we heard was, ‘Make sure the next one deals with modern-day issues.' We're trying to keep it as up-to-date and as reflective of what's going on today as possible. So that's one thing, to make it reflect the things that we are all dealing with today.

Just as Battlestar used a bunch of humans wandering through space to tell a story about the Iraq war and religion and D9 shed a new light on apartheid, racism, and awesome alien space suits, Star Trek now wants in on the contemporary allegory racket. We must say that is pretty rad. We love to blow shit up, but when you blow shit up with purpose, you get the thrill of blowing shit up, but don't have the residual guilt of watching something totally idiotic. The way aliens heads explode when you run over them with a warthog in Halo can be like, a metaphor for the way people's head explode when they are run over by a tank in the Middle East. Or something like that.

There are a few other properties out there that could use some similar intellectual gussying up if their writers ever want to get the time of day at the Soho House. Here some suggestion of how a little well-placed subtext can rescue these shows, and their crews, from their own stupidity:

The Hills:Discussing whether to help Kristen throw her birthday party, Audrina tells Heidi that there isn't room for enough people at the club. They tell her the only solution is for her to to decide who isn't allowed in the club and murder them when the place is overcrowded.
Metaphor: The health care debate and death panel misinformation.

Gossip Girl: Blair finds that putting on her headband makes her feel great and tingly all over. When she wants to buy more headbands, she discovers they are illegal and that the U.S. government is in a long, protracted, and expensive battle to keep headbands out of the country and off the streets. She becomes an advocate to free all the headbands and starts a march that has lots of bongos, puppets, and hacky sacking.
Metaphor: The war on drugs and efforts to legalize marijuana.

Family Guy: Peter's stupid conservative neighbors tell him that their dog Brian was not really born in America, but in Kenya, and they claim to have the kennel papers to prove it. If what they say is true, then Peter must put his dog down and then burn him in the public square while walking counterclockwise around the flames to prevent the spirits of evil from invading the country. He doesn't know who to believe.
Metaphor: The Birther movement.

Man Vs. Wild: While out in the wild, Bear Grylls meets an aimless Sherpa. The two fall madly in love. Bear brings the Sherpa home, but everyone denies their love and won't let them get married. They even go so far as the pass a law that forbids reality show hosts from marrying Tibetans. Everyone is really sad.
Metaphor: The gay marriage debate.

Wheel of Fortune: Every time a contestant wins the jackpot, he is given a trip to Guantanamo Bay! It's such a great vacation that they can't tell anyone what happens there or when they're going to be back. But while they are there, they get to enjoy lots of activities that include water. Now they wish they had picked Z, X, Q, and U for their extra letter, then they never would have guessed the puzzle.
Metaphor: Torture.

Every review I've read on Star Trek so far, and I think I've read five altogether, not to mention countless blog posts, Tweets and Tumblrs, has been nothing less than a collective circle jerk for this film. Is there anyone out there who saw it and thought that it sucked, or was at least mediocre?!

Bids are coming in high on Sumner Redstone's movie theater chain, which is good because he needs the money [Variety]. More than 60 actors cast in this year's pilots are foreigners. This will be on Lou Dobbs tonight [THR]. Taye Diggs will play a vampire in Dead of Night [THR].

Oh phew. Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen will not be the last you'll see of acorn-faced Shia LaBeouf and his robot pals. Transformers 3: Fall of the Risen (or whatever) has secured a premiere date: July 1st, 2011. Of course by then the world be a sand-blasted junkyard of bones and teeth, a cold diseased sea lapping at scorched shores. But at least we'll have Megan Fox once again changing oil in her denim underpants. [Variety]

Jesse Eisenberg, from The Squid & the Whale and the upcoming Adventureland, will be playing poet Allen Ginsberg in an ensemble movie about a beatnik murder. This is likely the only time that Jesse Eisenberg will be competing with James Franco. [Variety] Meanwhile, Confucius say: "Please let area badass Chow Yun-fat play me in a biopic." Done! [Variety]

Sam Neill is joining the cast of that show Happy Town, about a secretly murderous little burg, playing the owner of a movie-paraphernalia shoppe. Full of dinosaurs!!!! [THR] The CW will have more opportunities to cast their "everyone under 5'7", please" version of America's Next Top Former Modeling Show Reality Star. They're redoing the New York auditions, after a stampede ruined it for everyone. [THR]

Catherine Hardwicke, once lauded for films like Thirteen and Lords of Dogtown, sold her soul to direct the Twilight chaste vampire goo fest, and is now adapting another YA klassic. Maxium Ride is about, shit you not, a group of teens who are half-human, half-bird. They are called the Flock. They are pursued by a group of half-human, half-wolf creatures. They are called Erasers. So. [THR]

The Writers' Guild of America is cutting 10% of its 185 employees, citing their $2 million operating deficit. So now WGA employees can join all those in their guild who are unemployed. [Variety] Meanwhile, the Weinsteins are spending money again! Recession over! They just snapped up Nowhere Boy, a movie about a young John Lennon. So good for them. Good for everyone. Except those 18.5 people up there. Sucks. [Variety]

Brad Pitt's Plan B production house will be cobbling together a screen version of John LeCarre's spy novel The Night Manager, Paramount will co-produce. [Variety] Meanwhile J.J. Abrams will produce a film version of an upcoming Wired magazine article about a diamond heist. [Variety]

Here is your Enterprise crew, from left to right: Chekov, Young Kirk, Ricky Gervais's hated rival, Bones, Sulu, and Uhura. NEEDS MOAR TYLER PERRY.

Spock and Young Kirk's first meeting goes poorly when a thetan-wary Spock applies this very unconventional "personality test."

Meet Eric Bana as the film's Romulan villain, Nero. Fun fact: Abrams originally approached Russell Crowe for this part. Sadly, the A-list casting move was heavily lobbied against by the cash-strapped craft services department.

Young Kirk's tragically far-ranging quest for a "cold brewski, braugh," leads him to crash-land on this ice planet.

The all-white reinvention of the Enterprise's bridge was so Apple Store-reminiscent that ''People would joke, 'Where's the Genius Bar?''' says Abrams in EW. Sadly, this may explain why the crew had to wildly overpay for something as simple as a pair of pointy earbuds.

• 'Star Trek': New Movie, New Vision [EW]

Yes, there are some differences: for instance, Holmes has a longer bob, and her eyebrows are markedly more masculine. Then again, it isn't really fair to evaluate the similarity unless we give Quinto a crack at Holmes's signature accessory:

Uncanny! With those enormous sunglasses, Quinto-as-Spock is a dead ringer for our favorite boyfriend jeans lover (someone check his knees to see how far the resemblance goes). Something tells us that the inevitable Star Trek sequel will involve a search for Xenu — if so, beam us on up!

• Star Trek Covers Entertainment Weekly [JustJared]

Frankly, we're much more intrigued by the filmmaker's indirect swipe at bloated blockbuster contemporaries like The Dark Knight and Watchmen ("I’m sick of these two hours and forty-five minute movies. Seriously, it’s like I don’t have enough time to stay two hours and forty-five minutes. I’m exhausted just saying that twice. I can’t stand it.”) and the revelation that cast member Simon Pegg allegedly cried when Abrams showed him rough footage from the film. Short-and-moving sells us every time — which, again, is not Mr. Shatner's cue to return to his Webcam for an affected! Appeal! For help! In the trenchant words of Ringo Starr: Peace and love, Bill, but leave us alone now.

• 'Star Trek' Director J.J. Abrams Clears Up Confusion... [MTV]

• William Shatner Responds to Star Trek Director JJ Abrams [YouTube]

A closer look at all eight posters (plus the mysterious inclusion of Tyler Perry and Winona Ryder!) awaits after the jump:

Clockwise from top left, we have Eric Bana as the film's villain, Nero, Zoe Saldana as Uhura, Chris Pine as James T. Kirk, and Heroes' Zachary Quinto as Spock. While these posters are a little more convincing, we can't help but be disappointed that Paramount neglected to make one-sheets for the film's most unlikely cast members: Winona Ryder as Spock's mom and Madea's Family Reunion star Tyler Perry as the head of Starfleet Academy. We've gone ahead and taken the liberty ourselves:

Paramount, we'll accept our payment in the form of transporter credits. Good day, and QA TLHO'.

• VegasCon 08: New Star Trek Movie Posters With Four New Cast Images [Trekmovie.com via Hollywood Elsewhere]

In today's installment: David Spade, Neil Patrick Harris, James Woods, Kathy Griffin, Jason Bateman, Samantha Ronson, Emma Stone, Lisa Bonet, George Foreman and more!

FRIDAY, JULY 4
· Saw LISA BONET (a.k.a. Lilakoi Moon? really?) eating breakfast in Boulder, Co on July 4th. She was wearing a gray (organically dyed, no doubt) cotton (or perhaps organic bamboo) dress, had long dreadlocks, and John Lennon-style round sunglasses. She and her boyfriend Jason Momoa were the picture of multicultural hippiedom. She also seemed cooly unfazed by the Madge-Rod C-Rod Lenny Kravitz clusterf*ck. She might have been high though. It's Boulder after all.

MONDAY, JULY 7
· Saw Lindsay's love-drug SAMANTHA RONSON going through security this morning at LAX. No sign of the Freckled One anywhere. Fine with me. As far as I'm concerned, Samantha's the hotness in that couple.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 9
· Saw GEORGE FOREMAN at LAX Wednesday. Didn't have his grill, but had two young men with him. I can only assume it was two of his sons George and George. I must admit, the George's were ridiculously good-looking. Wouldn't mind doing some grilling with them.

FRIDAY, JULY 11
· Spotted in the crowd at Ricky Gervais' sold out show at the Kodak Theater: JASON BATEMAN, KATHY GRIFFIN, JJ ABRAMS, CHERI OTERI and EMMA STONE.

SATURDAY, JULY 12
· NEIL PATRICK HARRIS is starting his workout @ Equinox WeHo right now.

MONDAY, JULY 14
· Stopped at a light in Sunset Plaza, glanced to the right and saw JAMES WOODS sitting at an outdoor table at Cafe Med. Unfortunately, he was with another guy and not engaged in any provocative James Woods behavior like canoodling with a twentysomething or holding up his I.Q. score or M.I.T. diploma....just behaving like a normal citizen, albeit one who sits where all the tourists, not to mention tetchy locals like me, will spot him.

UNDATED
· DAVID SPADE was at a movie theater, the one by the Grove, last week. He was with some girl who was all over him during the movie.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

As we noted a few months ago, Tom decided that the best way to kiss and make up with old pals Victoria and David Beckham was to offer the couple a weekend vacation at his own home. Nothing says "Procreate for the good of Scientology mankind!" like a few sleepless nights spent at an eerie secluded Hubbard boot camp disguised as a celebrity's mansion. And a few years ago, Cruise made a similar misstep by presenting his tiniest pocket spokesperson, Dakota Fanning, with a cell phone for her 11th birthday. Sure, Dakota's parents wouldn't let her use it and her lack of any actual friends made it entirely useless, but the alien-esque Fanning sure loved prancing down the street "pretending" to talk to imaginary contacts!

Though it wasn't exactly freaky or strange, Tom's gift of a Segway to Hollywood's resident Paranoiac J.J. Abrams left the mystery man disturbed (but mysteriously!). As Abrams told the NY Times in a 2006 interview, his favorite movie-star gift is indeed the Segway, but his quote frightens us just a tad: "Tom Cruise gave me one of those two-wheel Segway scooter things. I'm still trying to get him back for that." Um, because it was programmed to scoot directly towards COS headquarters no matter which direction you pointed it? Last and, in a way, least, future fugitive Katie Holmes has had the fortune of receiving more than a few of Tommy's bizarro presents. As a wedding gift, Cruise reportedly gave his new bride a $20 million dollar jet, even though Katie couldn't fly the thing and was pregnant at the time. But by far the most classic gift on the list is Tom's genius idea for Katie's 27th birthday present: a "DVD compendium of every movie he has ever acted in," inscribed with little handwritten notes from Tom on each film. Because nothing says Happy Birthday like a copy of Magnolia with "It's not going to stop. No, it's not going to stop. 'Til you wise up." scrawled on it by Tom himself.

• TOM, KATIE & THE KIDS SEND GIFTS TO BABY SUNDAY [People]

Writers Maya Forbes and Wally Wolodarsky have been hired to adapt it into a film, with Marc Evans overseeing for the studio.

Forbes and Wolodarsky, repped by ICM (which also handles rights for the Times), have TV comedy backgrounds — Forbes wrote on "The Larry Sanders Show" and Wolodarsky on "The Simpsons." They most recently wrote the Rainn Wilson comedy "The Rocker," due for release in August from Fox Atomic, and worked on "Monsters vs. Aliens," due for release in March from DreamWorks Animation.

Clearly, Paramount is seeing dollar-sign-shaped puffs of smoke floating out the chimney of this house of puzzling delights—a future classic that might one day stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Narnia, Pan's Labyrinth, Spiderwick, and the like. Perhaps they're even thinking franchise: If the story's heroes manage to solve the Mystery of the Really Expensive Upper East Side Townhouse by movie's end, the parents can always have the interior demolished and an entirely new cryptic design put up in its place.

[Photo Credit: NY Times]

• Mystery on Fifth Avenue [NY Times]
• J.J. Abrams to produce 'Mystery' [THR]

"Hot" is a "Superbad"-like story of a high school senior who sets out to have sex with his teacher before he graduates.

Dyer was a writer-producer on such shows as "DAG" and "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," and is a supervising producer on Showtime's "Californication."

Expect the viral campaign to commence shortly, with a mysterious, shaky-home-video trailer in which an 8th grade science fair erupts into chaos following a series of explosions and a tumbling pair of Statue of Liberty-sized panties. (And a note to any frustrated screenwriters out there: Just because Hot For Teacher will be first out of the gate is no reason to abandon your own, one-third-completed outline forNailing Miss Scarf—"a Sarah Marshallesque coming-of-age tale set amid the batter-filled mixing bowls of a junior high Home Ec class..."—as the market can surely sustain more than one take on the educator-sexing genre.)

• J.J. Abrams in for 'Teacher' [THR]