In his astutely worded takedown of the movie, Liel Leibovitz says that Tarantino's revisionist history—where Jewish soldiers kill Nazis and burn Hitler alive—robs history of its shades of gray, and, thereby, this "bit of shallow propaganda" ruins the lessons we were taught by WWII.

It is a failure not only of imagination, but also of morality. The desire to turn film into a literal, blunt instrument of revenge drains it of the terrific power it has as a sharp and precise tool with which to cut through myopia, forgetfulness, ignorance, and denial. When in the hands of intelligent and sensitive directors, the results are shocking, evocative, world-changing.

Of course, all the filmmakers he goes on to name who do this well—Jean-Pierre Melville, Marcel Ophüls, and Claude Lanzmann—are Jewish.

Theirs is the Jewish way. Rather than burn film, they develop it into art. They are talmudic, offering endless interpretations to the fundamental question of our species, the question of our seemingly endless capacity for evil. Tarantino, however, is not interested in such trifles. He doesn't see cinema as a way to look at reality, but-ever the child abandoned in front of the television set, ever the video-store geek-as an alternative to reality, a magical and Manichean world where we needn't worry about the complexities of morality, where violence solves everything, and where the Third Reich is always just a film reel and a lit match away from cartoonish defeat.

So, add to the heaps of criticism of the movie that Tarantino isn't Jewish enough to make a good movie about Nazis. We don't agree with that. We believe that no matter the race, creed, or color, people have the ability to make shitty movies in about equal degree.

Both videos, after the jump:

• 
  Mason vs. Silverman [Politico]

[T]he Left Behind saga offers an interesting example of this approach gone awry. The books became a movie franchise—with two sequels to date—under the guidance of Cloud Ten Pictures, an independent studio that specializes in spreading the Gospel. Made on the cheap with ultra-cheesy production value and only successful in the direct-to-video market (and church screenings), the films angered Tim LaHaye, [Jerry B.] Jenkins' writing partner, to the point where he sued the studio for not making blockbusters out of the books. The lawsuit never went anywhere, but the studio is still trying to settle with LaHaye.

"It's been a long, ongoing concern of ours," says André Van Heerden, Cloud Ten CEO and co-writer of the films. "The claims are baseless, but it has hurt our ability to do business. It's something we wish we all could have avoided." Jenkins, meanwhile, sides with his colleague. "The Passion of the Christ revealed the massive scope of the audience," he says. "Whenever I see a big budget, special effects-laden picture, I imagine what might have been."

We, too, could use a fun Apocalypse picture these days — preferably something with the grit and gristle of The Passion, but maybe with Left Behind franchise star Kirk Cameron symbolically flayed by a fork-tongued studio exec eager to show the former teen idol how to "cut for length." And then, like the new wave of Iraq-themed comedies, market it as a laffer. Box. Office. Gold.

• David vs. Goliath [Heeb]

Becks, 32, and Posh Spice, 33, met staff at a top private nursery attached to a Jewish temple in Los Angeles last week.

A source said: "There's no plan for Cruz to be educated in the Jewish faith.

"It's just one of the best schools for young children in LA." [...]

Becks' mum Sandra's family is Jewish but she doesn't practise and he has no other association with the religion apart from his famous Hebrew tattoo.

But David referred to himself recently as "half Jewish".

Success would certainly count as a coup, as the school's strict admissions policy rarely makes exceptions for non-100% certified Jewish students—i.e., ones not born to a Jewish mother. (Posh, despite all her feroshity and love of a good shmata deal, is a shiksa. We know! It's totally ferkakte!) Still, no L.A. institution is completely immune to the seductions of power and celebrity, and the couple's generous offer to fund The David and Victoria Beckham Jewish Children's Soccer Camp—a stunning facility housed in a Rem Koolhaas-designed, geodesic half-dome meant to resemble a massive yarmulke—may be just the gesture to shuffle their little one to the top of the long waiting list.

[Photo Credit: Future Forcast, Off Beat Ink]

• Beckham is Star of David [The Sun]

While the baldfaced grab for controversy might seem utterly crass to us, ABC was powerless against the visionary Gibson's breathtaking pitch for the miniseries climactic scene, a Braveheart-style battle with thousands of Jewish and Nazi combatants rushing at each other across an open field.

And here's The Australian, Rupert Murdoch's national Australian broadsheet, reporting today on that same project:

Gibson's Con Artist Productions reportedly clinched the deal with a breathtaking pitch for a climactic "Braveheart-style" battle scene where thousands of Jewish and Nazi combatants rush at each other across an open field.

We know this sort of wild inaccuracy is never tolerated at News Corp., so we're sure they're putting together a blue-ribbon panel as we speak to get to the bottom of what went wrong. It'll be chaired by former vice-presidential candidate Dick Gephardt.

Australian Paper Discovers Blogs, Defamer Rewrites History [Defamer]
ABC Presents Mel Gibson's The Holocaust [Defamer]
Disown Your Dad's Denial of the Holocaust, Gibson Told [Australian]

In any case, pay no attention to the large, Jewey name to the right of your monitor. Your Defamer services shall continue without interruption. Rest easy. You are in the hands of what many would consider a Hollywood 'triple threat': I'm gay, Jewish and Canadian. Homojewnadian. Genetically bred to excel at both making funny and doing lunch. Member of three separate and often warring media-controlling mafias (can you say 'awkward?'). Our symbol, pictured above, is a pink Star of David with a maple leaf in the middle. (We weren't bred for good taste.)

Now that I've officially outed myself to my parents, the INS, and those nice folks at the Sunday Scientology Brunch (say what you will they got the best lox in LA!), what say we get this thing started?