It hardly seemed fair to the 32-year-old Aussie, whose massive break in Wedding Crashers followed more than a decade of dues-paying in scattershot soaps, independent films and studio trifles like Scooby-Doo. But there it was: The movie adaptation of Sophie Kinsella's novel about a recent college graduate whose financial reporting gig opens her to a fulsome New York lifestyle — even as it underscores her laughable inability to reckon with the bills once they come due. It was a fun, frivolous, romantic, ostensibly moral portrait the swinging early '00s that producer Jerry Bruckheimer naturally had to have, and which he spent the better part of eight years developing as his chick-flick passion project.

Fisher always sought something a little more intellectually stimulating than just that, though, even if her name did go above the title. She told journalists during last year's press rounds for her romcom Definitely, Maybe about her interest in writing her own comedies; she'd penned two Australian bestsellers by her early 20s, after all, and had hooked a fiance, Sacha Baron Cohen, who was as fulfilling a creative partner as he was a soulmate and father to their young daughter Olive. The Wedding Crashers promise had yet to abate, though what immediately followed seemed incongruous at best with her long-term goals — particularly the hollow indie double-shot of London and The Lookout, the latter of which left viewers wondering how Vince Vaughn's nymphomaniac Crashers paramour wound up portraying arguably the most inessential femme fatale of her generation.

So she tried Hot Rod, another curious choice buying into the gamble that Andy Samberg could open a summer comedy for Paramount. He — and she — couldn't; it finished ninth at the box office its first frame and ended its run with a decidedly underwhelming $14 million. The underrated Definitely, Maybe was next, a far more appealing fit featuring Fisher as the idealist romantic foil to Ryan Reynolds's moody single father. Universal halfheartedly unleashed it on Valentine's Day 2008, where it opened fifth, trailing even the McConaughey/Hudson effort Fool's Gold. At least her voice had a hit less than a month later, supporting Steve Carell and Jim Carrey in Horton Hears a Who!, but Fisher's post-Crashers run has been a bust by even the kindest estimations.

Yet a cocktail of bad roles/luck/marketing is one thing. What can you even say about the unbelievably bad timing of Shopaholic, which Disney has worked to push as a sort of fiscal coming-of-age story while Bruckheimer dizzily spins to the LAT: "The timing for this movie couldn't be better. This is the journey of a young girl who has a problem and she turns her life around. It's a tale the whole world can learn a lesson from." They're entitled, we suppose, and there is the possibility of an escapist-fare hit. For Fisher's sake, at least, we'd like that. But its conceptual dubiousness still accompanies her face on the poster, still weighs down her arms perhaps even more than the overstuffed bags from gilded Fifth Avenue redoubts past which unemployed New Yorkers today pound the pavement with contempt.

And it's Isla Fisher's name, however unfairly, Hollywood hears today and increasingly thinks, "Wow, tough break." It's worse for millions of others, of course. Like them, she deserves better. And also like them, it may be years, if ever, before she gets it.

After the jump: Salma Hayek storms Fox, Jeff Zucker reassures nobody, Earl's preem crashes.

· Completely over the success of Ugly Betty, executive producer Salma Hayek's budding media empire will next overtake Fox with the multiethnic family comedy The New McToms. [THR]
· At an exec powwow in London on Thursday, noted NBCU economist Jeff Zucker insisted that his network's value to GE "only increases if there is less coming from the financial divisions." And the Olympics? "We measure success in ways that are far greater than the bottom line." Indeed, this man has all the answers. [THR]
· And not to pile on, but last night's My Name is Earl and ER premieres were down 29% and 20%, respectively, from last year's bows. But that's OK — maybe NBC doesn't measure success that way, either. [The Live Feed]
· Director Gary Fleder has reupped with ABC to helm every episode of every ABC series produced through the end of time. Or television, whichever comes first. [Variety]

A TV series, reports Variety, based on Cocaine Cowboys, a documentary about the 1980s drug trade. Both men's involvement would be limited to executive producing services, but don't expect that to mean the impressively pedigreed series, which could end up at HBO, will skimp on spectacular action sequences. The premiere finale alone is a showstopper: An exotic sports car race through the streets of Miami results in a Saleen Twin Turbo flying in slo-mo over four lanes of Lincoln Rd. traffic, through the glass-bricked facade of a local salsa club, and into a mountain of cocaine, the drug's high gasoline-content instantly erupting into a block-consuming fireball.

• Bruckheimer, Bay eye reteam [Variety]

[Confessions] is not just for women, the filmmakers insist. "We all have spending habits, a lot of us do," said Jerry Bruckheimer, one of the film's producers, speaking by telephone last week. "If we do our job right, this could be another Wedding Crashers." ...

As Mr. Bruckheimer noted of Shopaholic, we all have issues. "How do you cope with money and love?" asked this producer, whose credits include the 1983 hit Flashdance, about a Pittsburgh woman with a passion for welding, exotic dancing and ballet. He added, "That's something everyone can understand."

Bruckheimer's own experience with money and love is indeed famously complex, often ending with Michael Bay or Tony Scott blowing the shit out of something. This dovetails nicely with Confessions of a Shopaholic, whose fashion and romance themes currently skew female but have yet to undergo the extensive green-screen and CGI that will place plucky star Isla Fisher among a futuristic Fifth Avenue wasteland of transforming accessories and mutated, bloodthirsty shop clerks who steadfastly refuse to stock clothes in her size. Whether or not guys eat it up, God knows Nora Ephron will never know what hit her.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

• Wary Hollywood Plans More Chick Flicks [NYT]

· Second generation Bluth patriarch Jason Bateman will direct the Fox pilot The Inn, an "Upstairs/Downstairs set at a hip New York hotel." [THR]
· Just in case Wipe Out doesn't deliver all the herniated laughs its rock-solid premise suggests, ABC has ordered another comedy pilot, called Bad Mothers Handbook. [Variety]

Despite having won Oscars as well as most other film and television awards, Mr. Grazer remains largely unknown outside Hollywood. And while he acknowledges the success of his work, he still craves public recognition.

Mr. Grazer almost passed up a partnership with Mr. Howard because he feared the director's celebrity would overshadow his own role in the company. "He was just too famous for me," Mr. Grazer said. "I felt that no matter how hard I could work, it would always be gigantically eclipsed by him." [...]

"I probably should have a brand," Mr. Grazer said, "but I think you can't get the best artists to work for you if you're branded. I get the trade-off, and I really would like to be more famous for my work, get more credit for my achievements. We all want more of that. But on the other hand, if you get too big — like it says in 'American Gangster' — success is your enemy."

If that final quote is sincere, it seems that if Grazer might finally be making an uneasy peace with his situation, accepting that building an ego-feeding personal brand might hamper his ability to collaborate with more celebrated artists who can help him execute his every mildly quirky vision. Still, we won't believe he's completely internalized this cognitive breakthrough until he has one of his assistants remove the giant, sneering, battered portrait of rival Jerry Bruckheimer that hangs behind his desk at Imagine's headquarters, which he mercilessly attacks with his cherished A Beautiful Mind statuette each morning, crying, "Think you're better than me, Mr. Puts His Producing Stamp On Every Film? I have a fucking Oscar, you pirate-loving hack!," a ritual that allows him to begin yet another Sisyphean day of pushing his anonymous boulder up the hill of public recognition.

Bonus: Nikki Finke explains how Grazer *nearly* received a Thalberg lifetime achievement award at the 2004 Oscars.

• Hollywood Producer of Varied Interests, Many Hits, but Little Fame [NY Times]
• Previously: Brian Grazer Puts 'American Gangster' On His Back, Carries It Into Theaters Himself [Defamer]

In today's episode: Lindsay Lohan (in Sundance, Utah); Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Winona Ryder; Vince Vaughn and "a Wilson brother"; Seth Green; Mandy Moore and Jason Segel; Jerry Bruckheimer; Reggie Williams and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar; Larry King; Oliver Stone and Tom Ford; John Stamos; DJ Danger Mouse; Busy Phillips; Michael Gross and James Avery; Willie Garson; Chris Kattan and Preston Lacy; Chelsea Handler; Kato Kaelin; Asia Argento; Roger Cross; Eric Christian Olsen; Brandon Davis; Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge; Samantha Ronson.

· I've been at a resort in Utah for the past week, two days ago I'm coming down a trail from my cabin when I see someone else walking up the mountain. From a distance I saw a girl that I thought was out of place for the environment. People that come to that part of the country are outdoor/gear enthusiasts who are a little crunchy and tend to dress/live the part. This girl had on a baseball cap, H U G E sunglasses and wasn't really fitted for a trek. Had I been in LA, I would have thought, "what lame-o celeb is trying to work the, "I'm-hiding-from-the-paps-in-the-most-obvious-way" disguise?" As we got closer to each other, I thought, "that looks like Lindsay Lohan." My logical brain then intervened because why the eff would she be in the middle of nowhere, by herself and on the same trail as me? Had going cold turkey for a week on all media caused me to hallucinate a party girl in the sticks? When we passed each other she smiled at me and then looked down—-aside from noting that this doppelganger was way too thin, I could see that she had on no make-up which made her look really young and then spotted ooodles of her tell-tale freckles. When I got to the bottom of the mountain I told some friends that I had passed a girl who I would swear was LiLo...ha ha, the altitude must be making me nuts, right? They then reminded me that there was a super posh rehab a few miles away so I might not be totally insane. My sighting was sort of a running joke for the rest of the weekend ala Sasquatch/Firecrotch until I got emails from friends linking me to sites announcing that Ms. Lohan was indeed in my neck of the woods.

· Saw Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, with (her?) kid at the Dodger game on Sat nite. They seemed to be having a good time despite the Dodger loss, and stayed for the whole game. And yes, Calista ate junk food at the game just like the rest of us.

· my boyfriend and i were at the weho target sunday (8-5) about 3pm and I saw a girl and i thought, "wow she looks like winona ryder" i turn and look and my bf's jaw hit the ground. just from that, i knew it was her, he's a great celeb spotter, she was with her bf and they were buying new pillows. as soon as she saw us follow her to the elevator, she put on her HUGE and i mean HUGE sunglasses that covered her entire face. she asked everyone in the elevator if they needed p2 pushed and we were the only ones who spoke. she was so so tiny and i thought she looked stunning, but bf thought she looked like an old sickly lady....her skin was flawless!!

· 8/4/07-Saw Hunky Vince Vaughn and a Wilson Brother trolling for drunk Volley Dolley's at the Manhattan Beach Volleyball tournament. Neither wore shades or a hat so their star power could really shine and reel in the ladies.

8/6/07-In and Out Universal City...Small Fry Seth Green eating outside. His hair was definitely "Animal Style"

· Friday, 8/3. Dresden Room, Los Feliz. Drinking with friends when in walks Jason Segel from How I Met Your Mother. He orders what looks like whiskey and sits down at the piano bar by himself. A little later, he's joined by some woman who seemed like the average 20-something from the back — messy hair, frumpy black jacket. Then she turned around and it was Mandy Moore. Looked like they were just there as friends. So that would be plenty celebrity for the night...until Vince Vaughn walked in. Yeah, the guy from Swingers who shot his movie in the Dresden Room still drinks at said establishment. Vince skipped the bar and hung out in a booth in the back with his posse or something.

· So last night (Wed Aug 6th), we decided to head over to Q's on Wilshire for some casual after-work drinks on the Westside. As it was a weekday, the place was pretty dead (who goes out to Q's on a Monday night when there's $2 margaritas at Acapulco in westwood???) Apparently, none other than the master of Pirates himself, Jerry Bruckheimer! We couldn't believe our eyes as he casually strolled in, and saddled up to the bar next to (who we assume) were a couple of fellow producer friends from his company or perhaps some guys from his management team. Everyone in our group kept staring at him (we're all production/agency kids), but no one else in the bar seemed to notice. Within 5 minutes of entering, of course, he was on his immediately on his blackberry taking calls (at 10pm).

· Reggie Williams and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar were sitting in front of me on a flight from LAX to Honululu (Aug 3), talking about their NBA championship games. Then they started arguing about who could sink more 3-pointers in a row. Pretty insane!

· Just saw Larry King (Aug. 4) coming out of the Pacific Grove theatres at The Grove in Hollywood. Was here with a young kid. Son? Grandson? Wasn't wearing the customary huge plastic glasses. Maybe he only wears those on TV...

· Friday night (Aug. 3) at the Tower Bar - Saw Tom Ford in all of his tanned, open chest haired glory. I must say that he is extremely handsome and stylish in person. What a waste for us women....Also saw Oliver Stone in all of his tanned, open chest haired non-glory. The man looks like he has been through the wringer times 10 ( is he still making movies anyway?)

· 8/6/07 Not the most interesting but worth noting. Out with the fam for some BBQ at Lucille's in Long Beach and randomly spot John Stamos tucked away in the corner. Uncle Jesse was doing his best to stay unnoticed, even donning a cap when leaving (if it wasn't dark already I'm sure sunglasses may have been in order as well). Seemed nice enough, even helped a server with something she dropped to the floor from her already full hands.

· 6 Aug 7 I saw DJ Danger Mouse at The Belmont on Saturday (4 Aug). On my way out I asked the bouncer if that was in fact the man himself, and he said he didn't know who Danger Mouse was. Once I explained that he's opposite Cee Lo in Gnarls Barkley (ever heard of 'em?) he knew right away. Aparantly he's friends with the owner.

· It's your favorite Defamer operative from Starbucks Sunset & Gower: today a nice young blonde woman came in and ordered her drink. When my co-worker asked for her name, she said Busy. He commented that he'd never heard the name before. From the espresso machines I commented that I had, and asked him if he'd ever heard of the actress Busy Phillips. He hadn't but the customer had, saying "He even knows my last name!" I looked up and realized it was her. She was pleasant , and stayed for quite awhile drinking her iced green tea unsweetened. Oh how I miss Freaks and Geeks, but love my dvd set!

· It was a TV Sitcom Dads breakfast at HOME on Hillhurst, yesterday morning (8/5): First up, James Avery, surrogate father to Will Smith, from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Then, Michael Gross slid into the booth next to ours. Apparently I said, "hey, that's Alex P. Keaton's dad!" a little more audibly than my boyfriend would have liked, because he shot me a look and said, "you're so loud!" No, I'm not. Also, I would assume Michael Gross would be more apt to have someone recognize him from Family Ties, than, hmm... let's say, Tremors?

· Friday, 8/3 Formosa Cafe—Willie Garson (Stanford from Sex & The City) was wandering around the main bar/train car area with a male friend. They seemed to just be looking around at the place, but not interested in sitting down. Willie is adorable—had a red baseball cap on, for some inexplicable reason, but was still fabulous.

· Tuesday, August 1st. I saw Preston Lacy (JACKASS) and Chris Kattan (SNL) have lunch together at Jack n Jills in Beverly Hills (poet and didn't even know it). They both seemed friendly yet somewhat subdued. Preston is a big boy, and Chris was better looking than I would have expected.

· Chelsea Handler at the Gelson's in Marina del Rey. Pretty beautiful but surprisingly not skinny. She was with an attractive 40ish male. While waiting at the deli counter she complemented this scary, braless, overtanned, & overscalpeled bag in short shorts on her necklace - only to smirk and whisper evil nothings about the woman as soon as she turned around.

· Kato Kaelin banking in Toluca Lake across from the Graciela, August 7. I didn't know anyone under 80, or above 23, banked here; it's the nearly dead/newlywed memorial branch I think. Any-ho, don't know if he has a job, and I could do without the highlights, but he's tan and built, and chats up lowly bank tellers very sweetly. If this is what pushing 50 looks like (he's only two years older than me, thx IMDB), sign me up. And I'll take the black roadster type coupe he was driving too, dammit.

· I saw Miss Sixty spokeswoman and actress-filmmaker Asia Argento leaving Fogo de Chão on August 4th with about five others. She was looking a little scraggily wearing a long red tank over jean short cut-offs.

· I stopped at pickup stix on laurel canyon to feed my pregnant BFF at around 5pm, 6th of august, and who let us cut in front but the lovely ROGER CROSS, curtis manning off that "24" show.

· Spotted Eric Christian Olsen of "Dumb and Dumberer" fame (thank you, imdb) braving the Saturday crowds at Century City today (8/4) and taking advantage of the sales at Restoration Hardware. Also taking advantage of the really skinny blonde he was with. Well done, Eric Christian Olsen.

· I saw The Bourne Ultimatum at Century City on Friday and I ended up sitting near Brandon "Firecrotch" Davis. He smells so bad, I would have moved if there had been any open seats. I had to shower when I got home because I could still smell him in my hair — an unholy mixture of cigarettes, patchouli, BO and some undefinable something else. In addition to reeking, he left his seat at least twice during the movie, spent the entire time grunting/sniffing/moaning/snoring (while awake, which I thought was impossible), reading his Blackberry, and I caught him at least twice lifting up his tee shirt to grab and inspect a roll of belly fat. He also ate: a carton of Dibs, a bag of Skittles, a small bag of popcorn, a bag of chips, a soda, and a Slurpee. I can understand why he got disinherited.

· Because A-List stars are the only way I roll, Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge, jaywalking Robertson after apparently leaving the Ivy on Friday afternoon, August 3. No sign of Heidi and her big boobs or dickhead Spencer. Good. I hate them. Bring on Season 3.

· I saw Samantha Ronson (LiLo enabler) in a black Porsche near the BH hotel yesterday (8-6). She was wearing the same pork pie hat she always has on and looked sad and hung over.

• Same Sex Celebrity Moguls Get Knocked Up [Hurty Elbow]
• Knocked-Up Babymaker

Still reeling from a flurry of bad press on its PlayStation 3 gaming console, Sony isn't eager to claim this honor. A studio spokesman angrily rejects the $350 million estimate as a "complete fabrication," insisting that production costs didn't exceed $270 million. One of the film's producers, Laura Ziskin, also disputes the higher total, albeit in a less forceful manner. "I refuse to say the [real] number because it makes me choke," she tells Radar. Spider-Man 3 was a super-expensive movie—the most expensive film we've ever made. But there's no way you can get to $300 million."

Reports of Sony's record-breaking gamble have created a stir among entertainment insiders, seeming to evoke some combination of schadenfreude and envy. "Those are crazy numbers," remarks one leading industry figure.

Unfortunately, Ziskin was prevented from disclosing the actual number and enjoying a heady moment of publicly owning the coveted title of Producer Of The Most! Expensive! Movie! Ever! Made! (upon hearing the news, Jerry Bruckheimer will undoubtedly command his Pirates 3 crew to fire $100 million out of a cannon and into the churning sea, putting the competition safely out of reach), when studio head Amy Pascal sensed a disturbance in the Moviemaking Force, and with a pantomimed pinching of her profligate minion's throat, constricted Ziskin's trachea from afar, releasing the breath-stealing clench only when she was satisfied Sony's budgetary shame would go undisclosed to the meddling reporter.

• The Most Expensive Movie Ever Made [Radar]

Think you have what it takes to be the next Jerry Bruckheimer, James Brooks, JJ Abrams or Mark Burnett?

Then we want to hear from you!

AMERICA'S NEXT PRODUCER is a reality competition series seeking Hollywood's top producer who will create the next generation of hit TV shows. It will feature contestants from diverse backgrounds and varying levels of TV production experience who will compete each week to survive elimination rounds during a 10 episode competition. In each show, the vying competitors will face innovative challenges that will put their creative skills to the test. The winner of AMERICA'S NEXT PRODUCER will receive the ultimate TV producer prize package, including $100,000 cash, a first-look deal with TV Guide Channel and a production office in Hollywood.

We know what you're thinking right about now: "How can I compete to win a hundred grand and the chance to develop the kind of exciting basic cable programming that will run on top of a slowly scrolling schedule grid on the TV Guide Channel, and which contractually must include the talents of Melissa and Joan Rivers or B-level American Idol castoffs?" Well, you're in luck, Mr. America's Next Jerry Bruckheimer! There's an open call for the show tomorrow afternoon at Les Deux. But be forewarned: The casting process includes the tricky question, "What do you think a producer does?," and by the time the third or fourth hopeful goes before the judges, no one will find the answer, "He's the guy getting blown by a struggling actress he's promised a one-line role while everyone else does the hard work!" cute anymore.

• America's Next Producer: How to Apply [TVGuide.com]

Latimes.com: So my first question is how do you decide which projects you want to do. Like, what's your process?

[Jerry Bruckheimer]: Well, if I want to go see it — it is that simple. I don't know what you like, I don't know what anybody else likes, but I know what I like.

Latimes.com: So you choose movies that speak to you and not necessarily what you think will speak to a larger audience?

JB: Well, fortunately for me, what I've liked what other people have liked. So far I'm doing OK. It will all change some day, but for right now I'm doing OK. [...]

Latimes.com: Seems like you especially like action.

JB: I like drama — action is included in that. I like interesting characters. Interesting themes. Great arenas.

Latimes.com: What do you feel are the elements of a good story?

JB: It's always great plotting, great characters and then coming back to great themes.

Latimes.com: When you say great plotting, what do you mean by that?

JB: Storytelling. Beginnings, middles and ends. In that order.

Those eager to sell all of their belongings and head off to Hollywood for a superproducing career shouldn't be discouraged by these needlessly complex "Great Plotting, Great Characters, Great Themes" and "Beginnings, Middles, and Ends, In That Order" maxims, as Bruckheimer was obviously trying to impress a reporter with his mastery of Aristotelian dramaturgy; in the end, they're hardly essential to the success of a project. Neglecting all three of these supposedly essential elements and randomly arranging the order of beginnings, middles, and ends can, and often does, result in a hit; one need look no further than the career of maverick filmmaker Brett Ratner for proof of that, and for reinforcement of the single, inviolable rule of blockbuster-making: "Shit Must Be Blown Up."

• Chatting with Mr. Bruckheimer [LAtimes.com]
• Previously: Jerry Bruckheimer: I Am The Audience, And The Audience Wants Shit To Blow Up [Defamer]

The Defamer Special Correspondent on Possibly Suggestive Superproducer Small-Talk submits this snippet of conversation overheard at a fashion show last Friday (as well as the accompanying pic), lamenting that no free drinks were exchanged in the course of the following brief conversation:

At the D Voshion fashion show at Area Friday night: Megabucks producer Jerry Bruckheimer has no game, does not provide one drink minimum for the following conversation:

Jerry Bruckheimer: So what are you looking for tonight?
Asian Girl: What do you mean?
JB: What would make you happy?

AG: (looks skeptical) Good conversation and generally a good time. JB: And what would that be for you? AG: Seems like you're prodding me for a specific answer. JB: (leaning) Maybe. AG: A chocolate waterfall and a Maserati!

So I made that last part up, but I wished she'd said it, because if anyone could make it happen, it'd be JB. He'd even flip the car for free! Seriously though, isn't he married?

We're not so quick to ascribe untoward motives to Bruckheimer; after all, shouldn't a guy who's wealthy enough that a single day's paycheck could have him covered in escorts on a round-the-clock basis well into the next century be allowed to make some harmless conversation at a social function without it having to be a come-on? It seems clear that the girl's apparent skepticism caused her to fail a test that could have launched her to stardom, and should have answered the question about her happiness with, "Playing the next corpse on CSI: Miami. I think it's important to start small and earn every bit of success I eventually achieve in this business," a modest response that he producer would have immediately rewarded with a huge role in a future Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Or, at the very least, a job as a stewardess on BruckAir.

• Previously: Jerry Bruckheimer: I Am The Audience, And The Audience Wants Shit To Blow Up [Defamer]

In August, Mr. Bruckheimer met with the "Pirates" script writers Ted Elliot and Mr. Rossio, who wanted to give Will Turner more dialogue to develop the character. (Mr. Turner is played by Orlando Bloom.) Mr. Bruckheimer resisted, fearing moviegoers would be confused.

"He is willing to go with us down the road of complexity," Mr. Rossio said. "But at times we feel he is constraining us from doing things for fear they are too complex. It's common for us to polarize, although we end somewhere in the middle."

Mr. Bruckheimer said of the exchange: "I understand what they were saying but, the difference is this: I am the audience."

Having correctly shrugged off his screenwriters' precious, short-sighted desire to needlessly confuse moviegoers with "words," Hollywood's Sun King ("L'assistance, c'est moi" is now embroidered on the back of his chair on set) then ordered that Orlando Bloom instead be fitted with enormous dentures, knowing that a set of Bruckheimer Chompers™ effectively replaces pages of plot-slowing, character developing dialogue.

• Blow It Up and Start All Over Again [NY Times]

A man's body floated up near where a crew was filming a scene for the crime show "CSI: Miami," authorities said. The body washed up early Friday in Biscayne Bay at Bicentennial Park, which film crews were using as a helicopter staging ground for aerial shots of a fictional offshore investigation for the CBS show, police said.

A homeless man spotted the body and alerted an off-duty police officer who was working security on the set, police said. The body had no signs of injury, and the death was not considered suspicious, according to authorities.

"Unfortunately, it's not unusual during certain times of the year that people who have fallen in the bay, either homeless or people who were asleep or in some cases boaters who had a mishap, fall into the bay and turn up days later, said Detective Delrish Moss, a Miami police spokesman.

We don't even need to tell you that the new season of CSI: Miami premieres tonight, do we? It's too late for his Floridian victim, but now that he's clearly established an identifiable pattern of promotional homicides, we urge Bruckheimer's immediate apprehension; there's still time to prevent tomorrow night's planned mass slaying of a dozen high-priced escorts, whose freshly murdered bodies will be "accidentally" discovered in a Bellagio suite just in time for the first Fall broadcast of the original CSI series on Thursday.

• Whodunit? Body washes up near 'CSI: Miami' set [CNN.com]

I live at the apartment building that CSI:NY is currently filming in. The building is called Pacific Electric Lofts... or PE Lofts for short. On the corner of 6th & Main Street in downtown Los Angeles.

I found out last night during a gathering of tenants on the roof that a body of a man living on the 5th floor had been found yesterday. The body had been there for 6 weeks, and the rumored cause is suicide. The body of the tenant's chihuahua dog was also found, apparently killed by the tenant.

The 5th floor smells like someone flooded the hallways with disinfectant... so I am very skeptical that this was a publicity stunt pulled by CSI:NY. I don't know anything else, but when I get home from work I'll be sure to investigate more... as this would be a really shitty move on CSI's part if your claim is true.

And a note from one of our esteemed commenters in our earlier post seems to corroborate this story:

i live in the PE Lofts. The CSI crew has been shooting here for the past couple of days, occupying our lovely penthouse lobby and pool. I was riding the freight elevator yesterday and it smelled really bad- I assumed someone's dog had an accident. A girl got on and told me that a guy on the fifth floor had committed suicide, killing himself and his dog, and that the body had been there decomposing for months. She also said that the fifth floor smelled horrible.

I'd be pretty shocked if this is a publicity stunt, as it sure smelled real to me.

The simplest explanation, it seems, is that the original report was genuine, and Corpsegate is much ado about nothing. A more interesting explanation, however, would involve a devious Jerry Bruckheimer being so committed to a publicity stunt of dubious value that he would go to absurd lengths to fool even the building's residents of his subterfuge, right down to the piping in of unpleasant smells. For now, we suppose that we're going to just have to believe the boring, former version and put away our tinfoil helmets, at least until another anonymous e-mail sends us scrambling to strap it on again.

• Previously: CorpseGate: CSI Body Just A Publicity Stunt? [Defamer]
• Actual Dead Body Found On 'CSI: New York' Set [Defamer]

The CSI body found was complete and ABSOLUTE bullshit...a PR stunt. They had actually called up one of my best friends who currently is in charge of developing the site for Club View, the most expensive condominium complex in the US, located in Beverly Hills. They said they wanted to shoot on the site and when asked what it was they would be shooting, they said they wanted to plant a dead body and "discover" it. Because the fear was that the location would receive a bad rap and potentially dissuade investors, they said absolutely not and sent CSI on their way. The price tag for such an "adventure"? They were only going to pay $2000 to use the site.

It's not too surprising that the luxury condo developers passed on a role in the CSI stunt, as a well-publicized corpse discovery at the site would have made the property only slightly more desirable to investors than its official zoning as a haunted Indian burial ground. We're even more disappointed that Jerry Bruckheimer allegedly offered only $2000 to buy their complicity, an embarrassingly piddling sum that the production probably just pocketed when they moved the fraud downtown, knowing that they could send a PA to hunt around a Skid Row shantytown for a body to ditch in an unoccupied apartment without a kickback.

Previously: Actual Dead Body Found On 'CSI: New York' Set [Defamer]

Though downtown Los Angeles was subbing for the streets of New York, the corpse was real, a source close to the show tells PEOPLE, adding that the remains were found on the 5th floor of the building - only two floors below the actors and film crew.

The body, the source says, "was discovered by a building engineer who checked on the tenant because he had not paid rent for the month."

Making matters weirder is that the show has already shot an episode revolving around the discovery of a mummified body.

Luckily, police and the coroner quickly arrived on the scene to remove the body for an eventual autopsy, before detail-obsessed producer Jerry Bruckheimer could see it, be impressed by how much more "real" an actual corpse seemed than even his effects department's best work, and demand that only genuine human remains be used in all of his CSI franchises.

• Real Corpse Found on CSI: New York Set [People]