Among those observed in this installment: Owen Wilson, John Krasinski, Amy Adams, Ryan Phillippe, Neil Patrick Harris, Jared Leto, John Legend, Jonah Hill, Martin Landau, Chloe Sevigny, William Fichtner, Ron Livingston, Mekhi Phifer and more.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 20

Went to see The Women (the play, not the movie) in a theater near downtown, when I saw MARTIN LANDAU (looking dapper for 77) talking with JACK STEHLIN from Weeds. I was going to list some Martin Landau credits but imdb has 155 of them and I didn't know what to pick. Loved him in Ed Wood, though.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 25

Sept. 25 [At the] Aloud event at the LA Central Library, I spotted ERIC IDLE and a companion enjoying the battling accents of ARIANNA HUFFINGTON and BERNARD HENRI-LEVY. Looked like ALAIN GIRAUD may have been there as well, but I can't be sure. Idle and the Giraud lookalike repaired to Cafe Pinot for a post-talk meal, I expect to be joined by BHL and AH, since they were chatting on stage after the event.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 26

It was a transatlantic Dundler-Mifflin meetup on Friday (9/26) at the Magic Castle as JOHN KRASINSKI was hanging with STEPHEN MERCHANT (from The Office UK and Extras). The former looked way hotter and less goofy in person and the latter is a good seven feet tall and was chatting up AIMEE MANN.

I was dancing up a storm during the MSTRKRFT show at the Henry Fonda Theater when a guy walks right up and blocks my view. He turns around to face me and starts to mess around with his phone. I’m just about to call him out for being in my ‘personal space bubble’ (the dance floor was pretty empty by that time) when I realize that it’s JARED LETO! He looked a little rough: hair slicked back into a pony tail, scruffy facial hair, black army boots and red flannel shirt tight around his waste. '90s style flashback. I felt kind of sorry for him; Jared seemed a kind of bummed about not getting any celeb-like attention.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 27

A day earlier on Sept. 27, we saw RON LIVINGSTON and MEKHI PHIFER at the Shane Mosley-Ricardo Mayorga fight in Carson. They weren't together, dammit; Ron had his usual stubble and a third-row seat, while Mekhi was up on the concourse chatting with former fringe NBA player CHRIS MILLS before the main event.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 28

After watching my best friend perform an acoustic set at Level 5, someone commented "Hey, there's Jim from The Office." Sure enough, I turn around and there's JOHN KRASINSKI chatting it up with a very cute redhead and an equally cute blonde.

OWEN WILSON at The Other Room during the Abbot Kinney Festival. Fairly inconspicuous. He sat and texted the whole time, probably an hour two. I never saw him look up once. My trashed friend asked him what was going on with all the texting. Owen didn't understand the question. I think he left before the guy was killed outside. I saw that happen, pretty messed up.

Saw JONAH HILL at the Abbot Kinney Festival on Sunday the 28th. He was in the line for Sausage Masters but didn't seem to purchase anything. He must be on a diet as he's looking a little more svelte than usual. He was very sweet...

Saw BRENDAN SEXTON III at Sabor y Cultura cafe in Hollywood today. It was kind of dorky/endearing, there was a group of middle-aged gamers there and he went right over and was totally into it. He was with a tiny blond who was then forced to observe the gaming as well. I don't think anyone else knew who he was, I was just really into Welcome to the Dollhouse back in the day...

It feels like cheating to submit sightings from the A terminal at the Burbank airport, since celebs and plebes alike have to walk down that same narrow hall to exit the sad old barn, but what the hell. On Sunday night around 9 p.m., the following people walked by separately in a 4-minute span, presumably all coming off the late JetBlue flight from JFK: WILLIAM FICHTNER of Prison Break, wearing athletic-type clothes and walking so fast his hairline receded; NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, looking awesome in a black T-shirt and gaily chatting with some dude; CHLOE SEVIGNY, mousy-haired and depressingly dressed like a normal person; and finally AMY ADAMS, toting her own overstuffed Louis Vuitton bag and staring grimly ahead while marching with an entourage of at least two other chicks. No smile, no eye contact, still smoking hot.

Just got off AA115 from LHR to JFK. JOHN LEGEND was traveling in first class. A wee bit shorter then I anticipated.

Saw everyone’s favorite ex-lazy postman WAYNE KNIGHT at the Vendome Liquors in Toluca Lake on Sunday evening. Would have liked to say hi, but he was busy getting advice on red wine from one of the employees. Oh well.

MONDAY, SEPT. 29

RYAN PHILLIPPE with BFF and business partner BRECKIN MEYER at Nate 'n Al's in BH on Saturday morning.

This week's installment also includes: Clint Eastwood, Jerry Seinfeld, Ryan Phillippe, Kirsten Dunst and Justin Long, Farrah Fawcett, James Woods, Dane Cook, John C. Reilly, Lauren Conrad, Ellen Pompeo, P. Diddy (twice in the same night!), Jared Leto, Kevin Federline, Sandra Oh, Seth Green, Balthazar Getty, Pete Wentz, Briam Baumgartner, Zachary Levi, Ciara, Adam "Seymour Butts" Glasser and more.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21
· Sitting in a booth at the recently re-opened Fab's on Van Nuys Blvd in Sherman Oaks at 8pm, Mr. "Hey, Spike Lee, Shut Your Pie-Hole" himself, CLINT EASTWOOD, speaking in hushed tones while dining with Sinatra's favorite opening comic, Tom Dreesen. I couldn't hear if Clint said to the waiter, "Go ahead, make my Chicken Marsala." Even at 93 [Ed. Note: He's actually only 78], Clint looks like he could kick some serious butt.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 22
· It was celeb night on Friday 8/22 at the AMC theater at the Century City Mall. Spotted PETE WENTZ standing outside with friends. His hair is flat ironed to oblivion and he is short, almost alarmingly so. Kept his hoodie on the whole time. Jessica's pregnant sister was nowhere in sight.

Then, a few minutes later, ELLEN POMPEO (that's Meredith Grey to you) walked by hand-in-hand with her hubby. Super skinny and wearing gross, skin tight white jeans, white shirt with trashy sky high black heels. They were in a rush which made her look like she walks funny because she clearly couldn't handle those heels. We decided she was dressed like a Staten Island prostitute.

We decided to hold out a few more minutes on the hope we would spot an elusive A-lister. And before we knew it, PUFF DADDY walked by sans entourage! He is indeed puffy. Mr. Mogul needs to get back to running marathons for charity. He was wearing sunglasses. At 10:30pm. And he was texting while walking briskly. Who says men can't multi-task?

· Equinox West Hollywood. PUFF DADDY (again!) makes his entourage wait in the juice bar while he grabs a steam.

· JUSTIN LONG and KIRSTEN DUNST were spotted Friday night at the Dragonfly, checking out the show Point Break LIVE! She sat behind him w/ her girlfriends, but Justin kept turning around to talk to her & see her reaction to the craziness onstage.

·Bristol Farms, West Hollywood, 5:30PM (ish). Looking determined to get out and towing a tow-headed child: RYAN PHILLIPPE. Taller than I would have expected, and beefier (but by no means tall). I don't know if he's moved to the neighborhood but the shopping cart was brimming. In case he is, a word of advice: I know it's technically West Hollywood, but the look you should be going for should be more "Daddy out shopping for groceries with my kids on Beverly" and less "Out shopping for a Daddy to buy my groceries on Santa Monica".

SATURDAY, AUGUST 23
· He's not a household name, but with 33 film and 40 television credits, let's just say I was surprised to see SEAN WHALEN selling blenders at the Burbank Costco on Saturday, miked up, dressed in a white lab coat and white paper hat. He usually plays nerds, but now he's extolling the virtues of raw food smoothies. Ouch.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 24
· Sunday night at the Radiohead show. Saw SANDRA OH with several dudes scrambling to get to their seats. She looked flustered, yet excited. Also saw SETH GREEN in line between songs waiting for beers. He was sporting a trucker hat and has a big, shaggy red beard. He looks like he belongs under a bridge waiting for three billy goats gruff.

Lastly, also saw BALTHAZAR GETTY near the beer line between songs, wearing douchey skinny jeans and chomping on cigarettes. Dude looked like he was having way too much fun, like he'd just ditched his wife and kids for a hot chick who likes to bang while only wearing a sailor's hat. Oh, wait...

· As I approached the cool 'n' groovy Santa Monica/Fairfax Whole Foods, I saw two paps outside aiming their lenses into the store. Store security blocked their view. I heard someone say, "She's the one in orange," and then noticed LAUREN CONRAD in a cute orange summer dress, casual hair, grinding her own peanut butter near the bulk grains. No, she did not have an assistant to pour in the peanuts and press the button for her. When I left she was checking out, the paps were lining up, and the Whole Foods security guys, looking vaguely energized, were preparing to escort Ms. Conrad to her vehicle.

MONDAY, AUGUST 25
· Monday night, Radiohead at the Bowl. After briefly encountering JARED LETO (dressed a bit like Shia in Indiana Jones) on the concourse leading a small scuzzy posse around and claiming that he had extra seats, I was surprised to see him all alone in the pool circle up front where I was seated (second row, yo!). Jared apparently ditched his "boys" and tried a bum rush to get up front as the lights went down. Multiple security guards stopped him and he immediately went into "Don't you know who I am?" mode. At first it was high-larious, but then it became a bit pathetic. And then it became a lot pathetic. He just would not give up. It didn't matter. They hauled him away just before the band came out and killed it.

I'd like to believe that Radiohead hates Jared's stupid fucking band and the noise pollution he calls music as much as I and everyone else at the show does, and that they ordered security to remove him from their immediate vicinity, but more than likely Thom Yorke has never heard of 30 (Minutes? Miles? I refuse to google.) to Mars. To Thom, it was probably just another dumb asshole without a ticket getting the boot from the front. Which is exactly what it was.

·Saw JAMES WOODS on 8/25 on Burton Way near Raffles L'Ermitage Beverly Hills. He was on the phone and completely plugged into it. Looks pretty good for a man his age. No sign of his 20 year old girl anywhere.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 26
· Comedy Antichrist DANE COOK was at Crunch. His name was on the marquee at the Laugh Factory across the street, so I'm guessing it was some sort of pre- or post-show routine. If you imagined that he'd work out in a backwards baseball cap and muscle shirt, thereby confirming your image of him as a superannuated, doughy-faced, overgrown frat boy - you'd be correct.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27
· Two fun (separate) sightings. Saw Kevin (BRAIN BAUMGARTNER) from Scrantonicity (and, yes, The Office); and, Chuck (ZACHARY LEVI), from, well, Chuck at the Studio City Starbucks. Both taking meetings around the corner at the NBC/Universal building? Kevin wearing shorts, Chuck driving a gas-guzzling Chevy Tahoe. Bad choices, boys.

· Eyed R&B sensation/masturbation fantasy CIARA placing a to-go order at the El Pollo Loco on Sunset and Crescent Heights around 4:40pm. Body was insane.

· I was walking back to my office from Rick's Tavern yesterday around 8:35pm going South on Main St when, lo and behold, JERRY SEINFELD was walking the opposite direction. He was with a group of like 3 or 4 friends and looking casual but good. Hoodie and glasses and admiring the motor bikes parked on the street.

· Saw Seymore Butts (born ADAM GLASSER) in the Miracle Mile Marie Callender's today. No cameras, no nudity, no sex acts being performed. But seriously, I saw Seymore Butts!!!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 29
· Walking through the hallways of a building deep in the heart of Toluca Lake around 3:30pm is FARRAH FAWCETT. Farrah raised her head to look me in the eye with a a look that said "Yes I am Farrah Fawcett and don't talk to me" Farrah had heavy duty perfume situation going on that wafted in the hallway well after she left the building. Christie Brinkley is about the same age as her but Farrah looks like she has been through the ringer and had a rough, rough hard drinking, hard partying, heavy tanning life. Use sunscreen, kids. Use Sunscreen.

· Not sure if KEVIN FEDERLINE is a real "sighting" but we saw Father of The Year at Malibu Seafood on Friday. Did not look overly douche-y. Was with a few guys, both whom I recognized but neither that I could place.

· We saw JOHN C. REILLY out in Dublin's (as in, Ireland) posh south side last Friday. We couldn't remember his name right off. We called him "Not-Will-Ferrell". He didn't seem to mind.

[Photo Credit: X17]

As Us informs us today, the former nose candy aficionado who was rumored to spend Nelson Mandela fundraisers traipsing in and out of bathroom stalls with Kate Moss, is the current bedmate du jour of boy-crazy Cameron (who thinks "sex is the best" like OMG!). The supposedly clean Sculfor spent a few weeks slowly chipping away at Aniston's already damaged little heart after everything went sour with Vince Vaughn.

As for Diaz, the supposedly matured John Mayer spent a few weeks wiping away her post-Timberlake tears most likely in an effort to obtain as much rebound sex as possible. But back in 2003, good old Vince was the one wiping away another set of Diaz tears, this time caused by detox dieter Jared Leto.

Vince Vaughn, you charming devil, you. Now we understand why you turned down that threesome with Owen Wilson. Because when it comes to schtupping celebrity blonde singletons over the age of 30 in Hollywood, you are so money! You don't need his help after all.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Splash]

• CAMERON DIAZ'S PDA-PACKED DATE WITH JENNIFER ANISTON'S EX [Us]

Before Bartha, Ashley was most recently linked to one ball wonder Lance Armstrong; prior to the bit part actor/bicyclist, the working twin had dalliances with Jared Leto before Lindsay Lohan stole him away. Most curiously, perhaps, was her brief sting dating the Prince of Annoyingness Wilmer Valderrama. The only pattern we see for our Ashley is the common presence of blue eyes (minus Wilmer), a solid but not intimidating bad boy rap sheet (minus Bartha, far as we know), and a general goal of dating the most random Hollywood outcasts in town. Were we not so envious of her newest paramour, we'd quite possibly applaud her diverse taste, even with Wilmer in the pack. Jared will always be Jordan Catalano in our eyes, no matter how much makeup he piles on.

MK has a wildly different (and yet unnervingly similar!) pattern of her own. Currently dating euro billionaire Lapo Elkann, the prunier Olsen counts artist/Uma Thurman cousin Max Snow and every Hollywood bimbo’s favorite throwaway make-out partner Stavros Niarchos among her ex-boyfriends. It seems MK’s requirements include long, mangy hair, an incredibly ambiguous “career” despite being labeled heirs, and guys who are afraid of showers. In the end, we get the sense that the more pragmatic and naive Ashley tends to chase after those who shoot excellent game and resemble knights in latex/guylighter/hair gelled armor, while MK has a far more pointed system: the dirtier, sleazier, greasier, and potentially damaging boys feed (hey, something has to feed her) her masochistic mania. Analysis complete.

[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• THEY CAN'T HIDE FROM US [NYP]

Martha's Vineyard Detox Diet: Followers include ridiculously skin-and-bones supe Gisele Bundchen, weight loss master Robin Quivers and the muscular Madonna. The 21-day detox promises devotees to shed 21 pounds in that many days "by subsisting on live juices, enzymes - and regular colonics." Fun!

The Master Cleanser: Reportedly what Beyonce used in order to nab her Dreamgirls role, Vince Vaughn allegedly follows the lemon juice liquid diet, and Jared Leto shed his Chapter 27 weight by drinking the "water mixed with lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper" cocktail as well. Yum!

Dr. Joshi's Holistic Detox: Fans include the clavicle-flashing Gwyneth Paltrow, original waif Kate Moss and currently slim Ralph Fiennes. The main focus is avoiding acidic and toxic foods, but the downside hardly sounds worth it, and sort of explains Kate's moody expressions in photo after photo: "Users report headaches, stomach pains, nausea and fatigue." Even more fun!

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage, FilmMagic]

• CELEB DETOX DIETS MAY PROVE HARD TO SWALLOW [NYDN]

Though Woody Harrelson, his buns of steel, and the very edible Justin Theroux do bring a bit of heat to the male vegetarian crowd, they hardly make up for the presence of Don Imus and Bob Barker, who would make far more appropriate candidates for the Hottest Sexist Vegetarian list. As much as we love and adore Peter Dinklage, we don't exactly fantasize about sipping tofu shakes with him in bed. Grouped with Serious Method Actor Jared Leto and failed comeback kid Corey Feldman, the full list (in its entirety here) isn't inspiring us to convert to nuts and berries any time soon.

• SEXIEST VEGETARIAN CELEBRITY 2008 [PETA]

[Photo Credits: Getty Images]

• NHL players resembling entertainers [sportsillustrated.cnn.com via ONTD]

• PURPLE MAGAZINE PICTURES [Jared-Leto.org via ONTD]

• Even Actors Wanna Be In The Band [TSG]

In this week's episode: Aaron Sorkin and Kristin Chenoweth; Jack Black; Sherry Lansing; Kelly Osbourne and Danny Masterson; Paul Haggis; Drew Carey; Rebecca De Mornay; Benicio del Toro; Andrea Bocelli; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Frankie Muniz; Kate Hudson; Quentin Tarantino; Matt Dillon; Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson; Jessica Simpson; Carl Weathers; Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider; Kimberly Stewart and Billy Corgan; Winona Ryder; Hugh Jackman; James Spader; Courteney Cox-Arquette, David Arquette and Coco; Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez; Matthew Perry; Jared Leto; Jay Mohr; Richard Simmons; Ray Liotta; Kevin James; Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje and Andy Milonakis.

· Sunday, 4/23, was turning onto Crescent Heights from Sunset to park at a friend's apartment when Aaron Sorkin walked in front of my car, then paused in the median to lean against a stop sign, then jaywalked it over to the other side of Crescent. He seemed awed by all the posters hung up at Virgin Records, and was hopefully on a phone headset as he appeared to be talking to himself. The thought occurred to me just a moment too late to invite him along with us, as we were going to order pizza and watch his former show The West Wing. He disappeared into an apartment building, and returned a few moments later with several people I didn't recognize and Kristin Chenoweth. Probably best I didn't get the chance to ask him up, as it was doubtful we had the proper ingrediants for him to make homemade crack.

· Today (Sunday) after brunch at Barney's, spotted Jack Black on his way up the stairs to the fifth floor (good for him— he needs the exercise). He was with a woman I didn't recognize - but who I imagine is, according to IMDB, his brand-new nonfamous wife.

· 5/27/05 Sherry Lansing exiting the Fox Plaza. She looks good for her age. We made eye contact but we both kept on walking in opposite directions. She has a foundation and her offices are there, which is funny since she was the head of Paramount.

5/27/06 Kelly Osbourne and Danny Masterson at the Ringside (Balthazar Getty's band) concert at the Roxy. One of the security walked her through to the VIP section where she climbed into a booth. Her weight looked normal and she came with a group of girls. Danny still has his big fro and he sat at a side table with a skinny no-name girl.

· Paul Haggis @ Peet's Coffee on Montana on Tuesday morning 4/25. He went virtually unnoticed as he ordered some sort of coffee drink and drove off in a YELLOW mini Cooper.

Drew Carey eating alone @ Bob's Big Boy in Burbank/Toluca Lake on Friday afternoon 4/14. Not shorter/smaller in person. There is nothing small about him.

Rebecca De Mornay watching Friends With Money @ the Grove on Friday night 4/14 ... apparently she was alone because she asked if the single seat next to us was taken!

· Saturday, 4/14 at JPs in Wilshire on Santa Monica: saw Benicio del Toro, looking just like a tall, average guy with slightly more under-eye skin than others. My friend talked to him. I was wasted. Saturday, 4/22 at Woo Lae Oak on La Cienega: saw Andrea Bocelli with wife and kids getting up to leave as we were seated. Wife is gorgeous, she held his hand and led him out the door. Aw. Kathy Ireland is sitting across the room, I don't notice her but my friend does. THEN: I almost choke on my bulgogi when Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani walk in! Gwen looked gorgeous, ready to pop and had on a super cute dress, Gavin was just as studly in jeans. They sat in back and ordered tons of food, no one bothered them, but everyone hushed and stared as they got up to leave. They are so cool. I've never felt so uncool in my life. Sunday, 4/23: saw Frankie Muniz and short blond lady friend at Beverly Center, walking around the food court. Nothing to special about either of them. Monday, 4/24: saw Kate Hudson behind Macgowan Hall at UCLA, smoking a cig with two other non-famous people. Or maybe they were famous but I didn't recognize them. Kate was all smiles and laughter, I have no clue what they were doing there, although Macgowan is a theater/film building. Enjoy!

· Saw Quentin Tarantino at Borders in Hollywood, he was with a posse of all black wearing film nerds and one lonely looking Shar Jackson. I stepped outside to get a smoke, and one of Q.T's posse told me he recognized me, and was convinced I was the third member in a threesome he had the night before. I wasn't.

· Late Sunday (4/24) night at Birds on Franklin . Matt Dillon walking back in forth in front of the sidewalk patio section, trying to be noticed. He was noticed all right. Most of the other patrons were laughing at his shameful attempt to be recognized and pick up chicks. He looked kind of good, but could use a haircut.

· Tuesday, April 24

11:00am- Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson getting brunch at Hugos on Santa Monica

11:15am- A sweatpants wearing, bed-headed Jessica Simpson with a female friend I did not recognize getting brunch at Hugos. Looks like it *may* have been a rough night for her.

· Last Saturday (4/22) went five-deep on celebs. First, went to Indian Film Festival at Arclight and while trying to get into my friend's movie nearly ran straight into a giant musclebound black wall incongruously wearing a Kangol hat. Actually, it wasn't a wall, it was Carl Weathers. I gave him a look that said, "Creed is a foot taller than Stallone and definitely got some extra cash for staying down for the 10 count in Rocky II, right?" And he nodded.

Next up at Citizen Smith for dinner encountered the usual Hollywood assortment of vainglorious plastic beauty with the notable exception of a dude in the corner wearing a hat, a puffy ski vest, grey sweatpants and sneakers...Adam Sandler. Sandler and cute preggers wifey were on a double-date with Rob Schneider and some hot blondie, no doubt celebrating the cinematic achievement that is Benchwarmers. I met them ten years ago at a Spoons restaurant in Northern Cali, but didn't bring it up. Schneider is like 5 feet tall, of which 4 feet are just sideburns.

Afterwards, we braved the post-US Weekly cover hype and went to The Dime hoping for the good DJ guy plus after Weathers and Sandler I was hoping to hit the Happy Gilmore trifecta with my longtime love Julie Bowen. Instead, we got weak hip-hop and a highly improbably pairing in the corner: uberfugly Kimberly Stewart with a bemused Billy Corgan. Neither one of them seemed to be having fun. Billy had a Holden Caufield style hat on but couldn't conceal his 6'4"-ish frame. Maybe Kimberly misses Talan and Billy misses C-Love. Anyhoozle, went to a musician-laden but celebrity-free party in Silverlake after that for purification purposes. That is all.

· Saw shopping- errr shoplifiting- queen Winona Ryder at Barneys in BH Sunday 4-23. Not surprisingly, an employee assisting her (i.e. lugging around her gigantic pile of clothes) did not leave her sight the entire time. She is TINY in real life. I overheard her a couple times gushing about how she likes to do laundry. Hmmm, guess stars really ARE just like us!

· 4/23 - While making the rounds at Century City, I spotted the man who's going to own 2006 (XMen 3, The Fountain, Flushed Away, etc.) Hugh Jackman with his family - wife, son, and newly adopted baby girl. They were eating ice cream as Hugh cheered on his son who was climbing a tree. Minutes later, Brat Packer we still love to hate James Spader walked by. He was barely recognizable having packed on quite a few lbs. and wearing quite the frumpy ensemble. He used to look so hot when I'd see him jogging by the Starbucks across from CAA. Please tell me the new look is for a role.

· Finally, my very own sighting! 4/23 at the Beverly Center approximately 11:00am: As my boyfriend and I are taking the escalator up to the 7th floor, adorable Hollywood family the Cox-Arquettes (Courteney, David and little Coco) pass us on their way down. Very casual, normal looking family on a Sunday outting. There weren't many people around and no one was bothering them. On a side note, Courtney did not look at all like her nether-regions were filled with "dried up twigs", as those naughty "Friends" writers would have us believe.

· 4/20 - Saw Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez dining together at Magnolia in Hollywood. How does that girl stay skinny? After finishing her meal, she started eating off of his plate. To be fair, Thursday was stoner holiday 4/20, so she might have had the munchies. I didn't see who paid, but I hope it wasn't Mario. His check from ALOHA, SCOOBY DOO couldn't have been that big.

· Eva Longoria flies Southwest! She was on Flight 961 from San Antonio to LAX in the afternoon on 4/24, flying home two days after Tony Parker killed the Kings in Game 1 of the playoffs. She had an A boarding pass (LONGORIA/EVA) and seemed to be alone but friendly, keeping to herself in a mid-plane window seat. Tasty as ever in a strapless red top, cardigan and absurd sunglasses. She also carried a large blue terrycloth pillow. Couldn't see what she was reading. She's unfailingly nice when she's in I'm-just-a-supportive-NBA-girlfriend mode, so even the Mexican bike cops craning their necks for a good look when she deplaned got a smile.

· I saw a post in the Privacy Watch about Matthew Perry wandering aimlessly through the Arclight gift shop. I saw him there, too, and then when I was sitting in the theatre waiting for Hard Candy to start, in comes Matthew Perry. He sat in the seat directly in front of me and leaned all the way forward in his chair during the excruciatingly-difficult-to-watch scene where the girl cuts off the guy's balls. He seemed pretty disturbed. I felt a little awkward being so close to an icon of happiness while watching THAT. Perry looked really good, happy, and was with some guy with a Betty Ford Clinic baseball cap (so he was either being ironic or the guy was his sponsor). The week before that, Brian Posehn sat in front of me at the Arclight during Slither, and made loud fart noises at the preview for The Break Up. I respect him.

· Sunday, 4/22: Saw Jared Leto and some male friends at the Sunset&Vine Zen Zoo Tea, ordering lunch and not just boba, weird. Jared's looking slightly scruffy with really black hair but he can't hide those baby blues. He seemed very chill and either didn't notice or didn't mind my "Jordan Catalano!" double take.

· Saw Jay Mohr with the rest of us plebes watching Al Pacino in Salome at the Wadsworth Theatre in Westwood. He, like the rest of us, gave Big Al a standing-O. Don't know if Jay waited for Al after the show to get an autograph.

· driving home from work, i was cutting through the beverly hills flats on elevado. at a stop sign i was gazing out my driver side window when what should i see? richard simmons. full blown afro. red tank top. vogueing. i don't even know what to say. but rs was clearly very experienced with her madgesty's moves. i don't think this sighting will ever be topped.

· Okay, I see celebs all the time at Gold's Gym in Venice so I stopped reporting them a while back, but this one I thought was worth mentioning: what appeared to be the reanimated corpse of Ray Liotta (4/21). He had that kind of puffy, stitched-togther, post-plastic-surgery look happening, but those piercing baby blues were thankgodfully unaltered. Despite his current appearance, he was such a fox in "Goodfellas" that when I locked eyes with him I couldn't help but swoon a little.

· 4/23/06: Saw Kevin James, looking suitably stocky, in Thousand Oaks. He was dressed in sweatsuit zip-top and jeans, and appeared to belong to a small group of people front of a church. He helped an elderly woman (complete with walker) into a car, all the while wearing a mild, but unmistakable, look of displeasure.

· Saw Mr. Eko (aka ADEWALE AKINNUOYE-AGBAJE - yes I had to look that up) at the Hollywood Y today. Props to him for keeping it real with us common folks. Big guy, in great shape (obvious if you watch the show) but not quite as tall as he appears on TV.

· Bizarre sight at the Audi dealership in Santa Monica today (Monday).
Andy Milonakis and several hangers-on were trying to buy a car - not sure which model they walked away with, or if they ended up buying anything at all. But they were there for a while, and it was odd: Andy was with two tall, attractive guys and a short blond girl, all in their late 20's and one of the guys was cradling a small chihuahua the entire time (do straight guys do that now? - or is that a trademark of the idle rich regardless of gender?). I know Andy is like 30 years old, and has a growth hormone deficiency which is ultimately very sad and not at all funny, but... he looks and talks like he is 13, so it's especially odd to see him in a position to purchase a luxury car, and odder still to see a "posse" surround a guy who looks like my Nintendo-playing cousin. Still, he seemed nice enough.

[Photos: Getty Images]

• Big douche [Cityrag]

It's kaput between Lindsay Lohan and Jared Leto. The legendary swordsman, who was keeping Lohan company at the Chateau Marmont and other hotels for the past six months, showed up in Las Vegas alone last weekend to catch the last night of Jeff Beacher's "Madhouse" show at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. After the show, which closed the Vegas Comedy Festival, Leto was "all over" a hot blonde, spies said. Also getting lucky was Johnny Knoxville, who left the show with two blondes on each arm for club Body English, where they all partied the night away.

We get it Knoxville, you dig blondes. But c'mon, Leto obviously looks up to you, his wide, toddler-like eyes sponging up and mimicking everything he sees as if in a state of permanent cognitive development. Couldn't you have peeled the babe off of him (more for you!), and suggested he get on the horn and give his old lady a call? You know Lindsay was up all night beside herself, waiting by the phone. That is, when she wasn't drunk dialing some dude named Jason Lewis she thought was the hottie from Sex and the City.

• Leto is Loose [NY Post]
• Previously: Lindsay Lohan Ready For First Doomed Marriage [Defamer]
• Lohan And Leto Kill John Lennon [Defamer]

She s crazy about Jared, a friend told Life & Style Weekly. She says it would be great to run away, get married barefoot on the beach and shock everybody.

Another pal says that Lindsay says she has met the man of her dreams, and adds that Leto has encouraged her to eat healthy foods, which has helped her bring back her curvy figure. But friends are reportedly telling Lohan to take it slowly with Leto, a notorious ladies man who has dated Cameron Diaz, Scarlett Johansson and Ashley Olsen.

Lohan s eagerness to wed is supposedly not just because of her fondness for Leto but also because of her ire at Paris Hilton. She s angry at Paris for hooking up with Mary-Kate Olsen s ex, Stavros Niarchos, says the friend. Olsen and Lohan are buddies. Catching a husband would be a poke in Paris eye.

As Lohan enacts the various phases of her all-consuming (and, some might say, completely nonsensical) Machiavellian Paris revenge fantasy, we imagine Leto remains blissfully ignorant of his lover's ulterior motives. Besides, who has room left over for things like doubt and suspicion when 98% of your conscious hours are filled with the stinging regret of bad career choices? Playing a lovelorn gay-in-a-toga who spouts lines like "You're everything I care for and by the sweet breath of Aphrodite I'm so jealous of losing you to this world you want so badly" ain't exactly a rocket ride to the peak of A-list Mountain, after all.

• Will Lindsay Lohan and Jared Leto wed? [MSNBC]
• Previously: Lohan And Leto Kill John Lennon [Defamer]

• Lohan, Leto file 'Chapter' [Variety]