In short: it sucked. A lot. While the failure of the film can't be completely blamed on Lindsay (the script was lacking, as were the jokes), it wasn't her finest hour. Mostly, she just looked really tired.

And when she didn't look tired, she looked like Dina.

ABC Family hyped the movie up in commercials as "a made-for-ABC-family movie," except it so obviously wasn't. The words "bullshit" and "masturbate" were bleeped out, and in the clip above, an entire portion of the birthing class scene was cut, with no explanation, which contributed to the disjointedness of the whole thing. Whatever the content of the footage was, it must've been too racy for the channel.

Although, fart jokes were allowed.

P.S. Did you know that Janeane Garofalo is in it?

Not usually, Janeane Garofalo tells the Village Voice, because everyone's so gosh-darned nice, and the most right-wing writer left the show. Well, golly, then.

But, come to think of it, it was a little unsettling when Rush Limbaugh and Lynne Cheney came by to give the staff major kudos on a job well done, with evil and whatnot, presumably. Garofalo couldn't really stomach that:

When Rush Limbaugh visited the set, and when Lynne Cheney visited the set, I refused to have my picture taken with them or meet them or anything...

When somebody came to me privately and said 'do you want to meet them', I said absolutely not... Not that they were interested in meeting me. And, to tell you the truth, I doubt that Lynne Cheney even knew who I was.

When your biggest fans are so revolting you can't even bring yourself to shake their hands, that's a good signal you've taken a bad gig. But, hey, at least Garofalo mounted a private act of semi-defiance, which may or may not have been noticed, in between cashing paychecks.

[via TV Tattle]

It was largely hit or miss (though the otherwise outclassed Hannigan killed telling the first joke she ever heard: "What do ghosts say to each other? 'Do you see people?' " Ha!), but one inquiring mind finally picked up the slack during the audience Q&A: Where the hell are all the women late-night talk shows?

It took a beat longer than you'd think for someone to invoke Chelsea Handler, who drew general praise among the panelists. Steinberg shrugged. "I don't think there's any reason it hasn't happened," he said. "It's an old habit to think that late-night television gets more viewers and more response than a show like The View or Oprah or Ellen. ... I don't think there's any blocking anywhere at this point. It's just a question of how things are."

"I think if Ellen were on at night, she'd be bigger than all of them," Hannigan said.

Garofalo bristled. "I think there is a blocking."

"I think so, too," Tilly said.

"It's like a bad habit" Garofalo continued. "I know that for a while Amy Sedaris was considered; I know Letterman is a big booster of hers, and I think she herself didn't want to get into that. But I think when people were asking, 'Who's going to replace Johnny [Carson]?', I don't think any female names were ever taken seriously. It's like, 'Don't walk under a ladder, it's bad luck.' It's not true, but you still walk around the latter. It's false wisdom to say that women won't work in late night. It's a business run on fear, right? Very few people in television are willing to take chances, and I think they think, 'If we take a chance on a woman, and it doesn't work...' Because there's this false demo — this elusive 18-35 male we mentioned. Does that really exist?"

"It's not just a habit," Steinberg replied. "They call on people who have the experience who are out there, so it's Conan O'Brien [for The Tonight Show]. If Ellen wanted to do The Tonight Show, she could have gotten in the running."

"I don't believe that," Tilly said. "I think among the networks, it's like, 'Women like to watch women while they're at home washing the laundry, with the Tide that gets laundry whiter than white. And at night people want to watch edgy guys.' Didn't you experience that, Janaene, when you were at Saturday Night Live? That there was a tremendous sort of... not misogyny, but a sort of boy's club?"

"It's a show that rises and falls over the years," Garofalo said. "When Tina Fey came in as head writer, it was fantastic, and the women over the last eight years or so have been just amazing. They're too numerous to mention. But when I was there, the show was just awful. It didn't matter if you were a guy, girl, transvestite, transgender — whoever you were, that show just sucked it that year. ... I personally was awful. I failed miserably, plus I was a horrible drunk at the time; that's all my fault."

"I just assumed the man was keeping you down," Tilly said.

"The man and a woman," Garofalo said. "Me, myself, as a woman, kept me down."

In today's jam-packed episode: Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Steven Spielberg, Heather Locklear, Kobe Bryant, and Andy Garcia; Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli; Meg Ryan, Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollak; Dennis Hopper and Adrian Grenier; Melanie Griffith; Emmanuelle Chriqui; Seal and Heidi Klum; Janeane Garofalo; Sean "Puffy" Combs, Dennis Haysbert, Michael Rapaport, and Tom Arnold; Cheryl Tiegs; Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, and Rivers Cuomo; Dominic Monaghan; Rufus Sewell and Mary-Kate Olsen; Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, and Josh Kelley; John Waters; Eddie Izzard; Adam Scott; Jamie Gertz; Peter Bogdanovich; Fisher Stevens; Peter Guber; Brian Posehn; and Gloria Allred.

· Nov. 12 - Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford having lunch with mom at Panini Cafe in Newport Beach near the John Wayne airport. Ultra-casual dress and Calista has a severe case of bed head. Perhaps just got off of a flight?

· ridiculous week...

wednesday, 11/7, saw steven spielberg, heather locklear, kobe bryant, and andy garcia at the hannah montana concert (staples center) - yeah, they were all with their kids. later that night pretty sure i saw nora zehetner at the architecture in helsinki show at the troubador!

tuesday, 11/8, ran into jennie garth and peter facinelli at the 'kraft-a-palooza' (!!!) cheetah girls show at the house of blues.

· 11/10 Saturday at the Swell Season show at the Wiltern: A special section was roped off just for the celebs... looked more like a velvet rope cage in the middle of the floor that all the plebes had to walk around to get out, giving maximum exposure to matthew perry chatting up kevin pollak while meg ryan and her duck lips stared off into oblivion. we all commented that we wished she was still the "you've got mail" version of herself. rumor has it jenna fisher was also there but i didn't see her. weird crowd, amazing show.

· Nov 6 - 2 Studly Bohunks Swanking It Up at the AFI Fest at the Arclight....and that would be Dennis Hopper, pacing about like a jolly mad professor, and Adrian Grenier, tall as the dickens, just every bit as charming as you'd imagine ole Vinnie Chase to be. Both mirthful, both indicative of Greater Star Wattage to Come; but guess what? It never came.

· So I went to Cabo for a wedding this past weekend. On the flight down, Melanie Griffith was seated in first class acting and being treated as if she's turned in a great performance since Working Girl (1988 kids!) She looks like she's been dragged behind a horse one too many times.

In marked contrast was Emmanuelle Chriqui on the return flight. She stood in line like a normal person, smiled and chatted with fellow passengers, waited for her own bags and generally gave off a "really sweet person" vibe. I half expected her to jump on the Lot C bus to get her car!

· 11/4 - This one's a bit late. Seal and Heidi Klum stopping by my Starbucks in Beverly Hills most Sundays is old news, but this time they brought their two older kids. Cutest. Family. Ever. The little girl was very sociable saying hi to people, and the boy had to touch everything — he even tried to take off with an old man's dog. Cutest. Family. Ever.

· 11/9 - After catching a show at UCB Friday night, I caught Janeane Garofalo (who practically stole the show with her recounting of sex with a sweet but slow-witted fireman) exiting with Matthew 'Yeah, It's Retired Must See TV Me, Please Look Away' Perry and an unidentified yet somewhat cute nerd in tow.

· Odd batch of celebrity sightings for this East Coaster...

Monday, Nov. 5 - Cheryl Tiegs at Urth Cafe on Melrose
Tuesday, Nov. 6 - At Wolfgang Puck's CUT at the Reg Bev Wil - Dennis Haysbert, Sean "Puffy" Combs (and entourage of 20 or so sloppily dressed hangers-on), Michael Rapaport, Dog, the Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth, and Tom Arnold in jeans, a green shirt and cap.

Good times indeed!

· Sat Nov 10 - While sitting during the intermission at the Joanna Newsom concert, stewing in my own pseudo-hippy heaven, I got up to allow some people into my row. They were SNL's Andy Samberg and Maya Rudolph. He is an attractive hobbit; disappointed because he looks so tall on TV. She was beautiful and had a really cute sweater on and a few minutes later another guy joined them and my friend wondered when the Rivers Cuomo look was going to fade...but I think it might have actually been Rivers Cuomo.
It was an amazing show, by the way.

· Saturday 10 November, around 5ish - Dominic Monaghan at Amoeba, dressed like an adorable little Unabomer.

· While sitting in the nose bleed section last night at the Spoon/Feist concert (Nov. 12) in the Universal Gibson Theater, caught Rufus Sewell ambling his way up and down the aisle. Then some random guy, thanks again Adam, gave my friend and I two orchestra tickets he couldn't sell because we looked cool. We moved to the awesome new seats, close enough to see Feist's catbag! The only snag of the night was having to tell Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen (honestly, I don't know which one, I guess the really blonde one) to put out her cigarette. She complied for about 20 minutes then asked for permission to light another one. I relented only because I knew that the couples in front of me would object, which they did, vehemently. Despite being a smurf, she was, much to my surprise, normal body size (or maybe I've been in LA too long), though I suspect that illusion was created by boho chic layers.

· saw Katherine Heigl dining with an older woman (her mother?) at Figaro in Los Feliz Friday night (11/9). I would have yelled, "Hey, Katherine Hi-jel! It's i before e except after c," but I didn't want to cause a ruckus at my favorite restaurant. Another tip for Katherine: If you would prefer that civilians not notice you, don't eat outside facing the street on the busiest block in the neighborhood looking so gorgeous that you GLOW.

· I saw Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Josh Kelley, and some fourth guy (whom I didn't recognize) at 7:30 am at the Rose Bowl swap meet. Heigl was wearing a baggy grey sweatshirt, baggy jeans, a baseball cap, and glasses (not sunglasses). She looked really skinny. The men looked pretty normal. Heigl was looking at some awful threadbare reddish sofa, but I walked off too soon to see if she bought it.

· Director John Waters yesterday (11/8/7) shortly after noon at the baggage carousel for AA #1 in from New York. He was reportedly talking non-stop on cell from the time the plane landed. He was wearing low-top sneakers, rather faded red pants and a plaid shirt. His chauffeur stood by as he paced back and forth looking for his luggage. Coincidence? The in-flight movie was "Hair Spray."

· 11-7—-
Last night after crossing the picket lines here at Disney after getting my pink slip, I went to the Rock-n-Roll Ralphs on Sunset and Eddie Izzard walked in, very serious and in his THE RICHES swag sweat shirt that he was spotted on the picket line wearing. He's so hot yet short in person. Love the man!!!

· Nov 10 Just saw Adam Scott from TELL ME YOU LOVE ME at the Apple Store at the Grove. He was pushing a stroller and had a huge grin on his face, so it's nice to know he doesn't share Palek's views on parenting. He's really adorable but I couldn't look at him without thinking "stunt ejaculation" and laughing, so I quickly turned the other way.

· Nov 12 - Saw Jamie Gertz at Sherman Oaks Castle hosting a kids birthday. I did not realize she is turning into Teri Hatcher! Overheard Jamie say, "I worked out this morning, so I can have something" as she eyed a pizza.

· AFI Fest, Arclight, Friday night, November 2. Was exiting the ladies room when I noticed a somewhat fish-faced, bespectacled older gentleman pass me in the hallway. I frantically wracked my brain, thinking "I know who that is..." when the ascot hit me! Peter Bogdanovich! Looking somewhat like an older, saggier version of Huckleberry Hound. He walked into the Q&A of our movie, "Margot at the Wedding" and took a seat. Why, I'm not sure.

· Nov 8 - bizarre one — fisher stevens hanging out by the brentwood country mart, having clearly just got out of yoga, sweating and swinging his mat around in a heated conversation.

· Thursday night (11/8) at La Scala, spotted telegenic mogul Peter Guber having dinner with a similarly-aged gentleman I couldn't identify (since his back was to me). Guber looked pretty relaxed, probably because that remake of The Birds he's producing doesn't require an actual script.

· The food-court at the century City mall was taken over by WGA Strikers today (Nov 9). Through the mayhem I had a sighting of Sarah Silverman's dungeons and dragons, heavy metal loving, gay neighbor from the "The Sarah Silverman Program", Brian Posehn. He was chowing down on a fuddrucker's burger (I'm guessing Jay Leno did not stop by with some snacks...) and chatting with some Writer Strikers. He was decked out in a red comic book t-shirt showing he is obviously down with the cause. I hope this strike ends soon so I don't have to wait in the Panda Express line for a 1/2 hour on my lunch break.

· spotted Gloria Allred in Von's Market, Sunset Blvd. and PCH last Saturday night 11/2. It was about 10:30 PM and even though she was the only customer in the store besides myself, she was wearing huge dark sunglasses as if trying not to be noticed. Every time I see her on television she seems to be looking for attention. She was grabbing herself a roasted chicken. YAWN!

That the show is right-leaning, and Garofalo is an outspoken Bush and Iraq War critic is, she says, half-joking, "much to my chagrin. That's why I feel like I'm being punked. I feel like the creators are going to make me say things that cause my sphincter to tighten."

Garofalo says she was surprised to get the job, given her politics. And though she might not agree with some of the dialogue, as the 42-year-old actress points out, "I'm not playing myself."

Hey, a job's a job, and no one's going to blame Garofalo for cashing a fat Fox paycheck. Indeed, she still doesn't even know if she's playing a "good guy" or a "bad guy," so she may never have to experience that unpleasant sphincter-tightening at having to stand in a CTU interrogation room with Jack Bauer and instruct the conflicted hero, "I don't care if you're sure that Mr. Saddiq here had nothing to do with the dirty bomb that went off in the Burbank Costco this morning. America needs you to take this rolled-up copy of the Geneva Convention and stick it so far up his ass he'll admit to every act of terrorism from seasons one through six."

• Janeane Garofalo: "I feel good about counter-terrorism" [Ottawa Sun]
Previously: Casting Shocker! Known Liberal Garofalo Joins Conservative-Run Hit Show! [Defamer]