Finally the kids in New Directions got a chance to compete at sectionals and it was not the rainbow covered unicorn pasture they had imagined. There were major shakeups in the group, and all of the messy secrets and relationships had their final reckoning and then...showtime! Artie loading onto the handicapped bus was just about the saddest 3 foot sojourn you ever did see, and not the triumphant razzle dazzle they imagined when everyone banded together to raise money for a bus. Wait, didn't they use that money to build a handicap ramp in the auditorium? Did Puck sell more drugs or something? Or did he win a bunch of money at fight club (Oh, never mind. Sue Sylvester donated the money for the ramp after visiting her handicapped sister)?

Their first big outing wasn't a total bust. Just look at all the great songs they got to sing.

"And I'm Telling You...": I'm sorry to all you Dreamgirls fans out there, but I am not a huge fan of this song, so maybe I was biased against Mercedes interpretation, but I wasn't that into it. However, all the kids were, so it was decided that Mercedes would sing it as the group's ballad at the competition.

Now that Will was ousted as leader during last week's Matressgate, they had to come up with a whole new set list. Of course Rachael took the lead—as she did more than once last night—and offered one of the many selections from her repertoire as the ballad. Emma, the acting Glee "coach," tells Rachel to give Mama Mercedes a chance, and she lights into this tune, much to the satisfaction of her classmates. Rachael looked like she was faking a positive reaction at the performance to hide her pain, but in the end she did the selfless thing and takes herself out of the running and lets the big belter have her moment. Mercedes was not going anywhere, and neither was Rachael. She did more for the team by stepping down than by stepping up. Finally Rachael is a big girl, and we never liked her more.

Everyone in the group loves Mercedes because she is fierce and confident and dishes all the dirt (is she going to tell everyone that Brittany and Santana are getting it on?). We thought she was being a lady by keeping Puck's secret, but it seems that her big mouth is as good for gossiping as it is for singing. Now everyone in Glee knows Puck's the father except Rachael, who figures it out with her "sixth sense." Sorry, Rachael, but as a female drama nerd, your sixth sense is called gaydar, not ESP.

Based on a hunch—and her very wiley Tay-Sachs ruse to suss out whether or not papa was a Jew—Rachel tells Finn that Puck is the father. A big fight ensues and Quinn lets out a whole bunch of tears, which wash away all her lies.

All of the sudden, everyone's telling everyone they're not going. Rachel fights for Finn, Finn fights for Quinn, Puck fights for Quinn, Finn fights Puck, and Quinn, well, she just wants to be alone. We're even more Team Quinn! after she handled her mess with class. She owns up to the mistakes she made, lets Finn walk away without lying to him, she pushes Puck away, and says she needs time and space to figure out what she's going to do. It's finally time for her to grow up and stand on her own. She also forgives Rachael for having the strength to do what she couldn't. And Rachael was honest about her motivations too. Since when are these kids so mature? It all seemed a little pat to tie up the whole "who's the babydaddy?" storyline, but it was satisfying and left enough up in the air that when the show comes back we'll still have some interesting dynamics.

Ken was also standing up for himself and trying to force Emma to love him when she announced she was pushing off their wedding for a few hours to get it "out of broad daylight" and so that she could take the kids to sectionals. He was none too thrilled, but let it happen anyway, for now.

"Don't Rain on My Parade": I know I'm asking for a gay riot after shitting on "And I'm Telling You...," but I'm not a huge fan of this Funny Girl classic either. The lyrics are awkward, the structure is strange, and I don't get why the sun is a ball of butter. Wouldn't it be really melty? Also, it seemed so obvious to have the weird Jewish girl with the big nose take on Barbra's big number. Then again, when the club is left to come up with a song on the fly, what else would Rachael fall back on? Like she said, she's had this prepared since she was four. And man, does she kill it. I'm getting a little teary just thinking about it now.

But it is strange (against the rules?) to have one girl do a whole number on her own without anyone else in the group uttering a note. That's not a show choir, that's the Rachael Berry Show. We loved it, but it wasn't what this competition is all about. And is it really a ballad? I'm not sure what else I would call it, but a gut-wrenching rouser like this doesn't scream ballad to me. Still, when she throws her arms out and introduces the "band" and our merry mass of misfits walk (and wheel) down the aisle...ugh, here come the tears again.

There was a giant storm cloud looming over the whole proceeding. Not only was Mr. Schue banned from competition, but Finn also quit the group in the wake of Quinn's big reveal. The only replacement they could find was naughty nerd Jacob (his trying to cop a feel while "comforting" Rachael on the bus was an awesome detail). Then, of course, when they arrive, they find out that the Jane Addams girls and the Haverbrook deaf kids have stolen all their numbers thanks to Sue Motherfucking Sylvester.

Surprisingly, it was Rachael who came through for the team, and for a change, it wasn't because she was trying to make herself look like a queen. She even tried to get Mercedes to sing a ballad like they agreed, but the group insisted that she take the solo. Wow, she actually tried to step to the side when center stage was offered. You grow, girl!

Will wasn't going to let dastardly delight Sue Motherfucking Sylvester ruin all the hard work he put in. SMFS was a bit less of a delight when she ran into Will in the hall at school. Not only did she list the things Will is not good at—being married, running a high school Glee club, and finding a haircut that doesn't make him look like a lesbian—but she uses every cruel tactic in the book to incite him. For a change, when she gave a little "victory" fist pump when walking away, we cringed instead of laughed.

To spite Sue and save his club, Will goes to Finn—who thanks to a blah blah blah plot device was in the school. Will sends his little alter ego to save the day with a pep talk and a new song. Ain't nothing going to get them down, and they find a way to march in their parade with umbrellas, even if some members are still a little pissed at each other.

"You Can't Always Get What You Want": Other than the silly organ version at the beginning of The Big Chill, this is the best cover of The Rolling Stones song I've ever heard, and New Directions found a way to turn it from a gospel-inflected dirge into a victory march. No wonder the crowd was up on their feet (and it seemed like a large crowd of white people considering there were only three choirs performing, one of the teams was all African-American, and none of the New Directions parents made the trip from Lima. Just who are these crazy white people going to random show choir sectional tournaments?).

This was a fitting song for Finn, seeing that he didn't get anything he wanted. His baby and Quinn were both taken away from him, even though the baby wasn't his in the first place. He doesn't even want to be the star quarterback or the Glee club hero anymore. He wants to be a normal kid, but Will thrusts the responsibility for saving the team onto him. Admirably, he steps up. Wow, his and Rachael's kids are going to be real leaders—and gay.

Thanks to Candace Dystra, fifth runner up of Miss Ohio 2006; Rod Remington, co-anchor of WOHN-TV and Sue Motherfucking Sylvester's ex-boyfriend; and Donna Landries, Ohio vice comptroller, New Directions does get what they want, the secional trophy. That means the girls from Jane Addams didn't get what they wanted, and they were big old cheaters. That has really got to sing. Eve really fucked up. Even though she tried to come clean before the final verdict was handed down, she didn't try hard enough, and McKinley High's squad was deemed the one that didn't suck the worst.

That means SMFS didn't get what she wanted either. Not only is the Glee club still around, but she got outed for being a big old cheater and deposed from the Cheerios. The way she told Principal Figgins "I beg your pardon" in about seven different inflections with different shades of meaning was amazing. That should seal up Jane Lynch's Emmy nomination right there. So, Sue will be down at her condo in Boca (of course) getting tan and she is going to come back to give Will a ride on the Sue Sylvester Express—destination: horror.

It was poor, stupid Terri who really didn't get what she wanted. When she sees Will in their house, it was a little bit sad and a lot bit awkward. She says, "I wanted so many things I know we'll never have, but it was OK because I had you." Way to turn the knife, Terri. And, sorry, we don't believe you. We believe you'd rather have a breakfast nook full of scented candles and Restoration Hardware dressers full of lilac sachets with some other dude than be all poor and married to Will. Now that they're over, are they over over or is it going to be Terri-lurking-in-the-shadows over. We kind of hope it's the later, because we need someone to hate hate, not love hate like we love hate Sue Motherfucking Sylvester.

When Will leaves he goes straight to Emma's wedding to find the ice sculpture melting and the Cheetos going stale in their bowls at the VFW Hall in Lima, Ohio, which is officially more depressing than a burnt-down Chuck E. Cheese taken over by wild dogs in Detroit. When he arrived (with a very nicely wrapped gift) he thought that he wouldn't be getting Emma, but it looks like Ken finally wised up and walked out. Though it wasn't all good news, Emma was leaving school because she couldn't face having to see both Ken and Will in the same building everyday. She doesn't want to be the rebound girl either, so when Will says that he and Terri are done, she does the smart thing and goes home alone.

But the next day, Will realizes he can't live without her, and they make out in the high school hallway like a couple of band geeks. But what happens next? Will they stay together? Will they leave school? Will Terri boil her bunny now that she is getting with her man? Damn you for leaving us, Glee! We can't get what we want, which is another episode next Wednesday.

"My Life Would Suck without You": I didn't realize how much I liked this Kelly Clarkson song until I heard it here. If it weren't for the very expected Emma/Will hookup during the number, it would have been another three-Kleenex kind of celebration, but alas. What was spectacular about the routine is that it incorporated moves from plenty of the other numbers—the "Single Ladies" ring finger, the coy "Say a Little Prayer" curtesy, the cowboy moves from "I Didn't Even Know His Last Name", and plenty of others that we had seen so far in the season. Not only was it a tribute to all the steps Will had taught the kids, but to the show itself. Seriously, Glee, our lives would suck without you.

Then we found out that Idina Menzel is about to sign as the coach of vocal adrenaline and Will's rival (and possible love interest?)! Who is Idina Menzel? Kill yourself! No, don't. Wait until April, because this is going to be more spectacular than a Sue's Corner marathon.

In today's installment: Britney Spears, Jeremy Piven, Paris Hilton, Vince Vaughn, Jack Black, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Luke Wilson, David Beckham, Dennis Hopper, Gwen Stefani, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeff Goldblum, Zooey Deschanel, Rainn Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Judy Greer, Phil Spector, Kevin Federline, Morgan Spurlock, Kristen Chenoweth, Judy Greer, Cloris Leachman, John Slattery, Emma Stone, Bijou Philips, Jane Lynch, Dean Cain, John Corbett, Paul Scheer, and more.

SATURDAY, MAY 24
While surrounded by Brody Jenner-looking date
rapists at Happy Endings, I spotted a welcomed sight: Seth Morris, Owen Burke, and Paul Scheer. Joined by a bunch of other UCB comic types upstairs in the corner and looking almost as out of place as me.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4
Saw Cloris Leachman at the Aqua Lounge watching Jeff Goldblum and his band play some jazz standards. Jeff's pretty talented on the keyboard, but the group as a whole made me feel like I was at someone's wedding.

Wednesday afternoon, my friend and I are having our usually mid-week lunch time phone conversation. In mid-conversation he gasps and tells me that he is at Chipotle in BH and David Beckham has just walked in. No f''ing way! David F'ing Beckham in Chipotle! BTW - what's up with that family and Mexican food? Just wish I could get shot in person of David's burrito! hehe

FRIDAY, JUNE 6
Vince Vaughn at the Greek Theatre for A Prairie Home Companion on June 6. Thinking he's a Garrison Keillor fan definitely makes me like him a little more.

Driving on Ledgewood in Hollywoodland today, I saw Phil Spector driving a Mercedes convertible, wearing that crazy giant curly fright wig he dropped in favor of the lesbian pageboy thing he wore in court. He wears it while driving a convertible! How the hell do you bolt that on?

Cuba Gooding Jr. with 2 friends eating sushi at Hana Sushi in Brentwood. He was a lot smaller than I thought he would be and was definately enjoying his wine. He was nice to everyone that came up and talked with him. He was abnormally excited about going to Q's (the pool bar next door). Oh wait, it was beer pong night. I'd be excited too!

SUNDAY, JUNE 8
Judy Greer (aka Kitty from Arrested Development) spotted Friday night at St Nick's Pub on 3rd st, sitting in a booth with friends. Had to stop myself from making a George Bluth reference.

MONDAY, JUNE 9
I love the show Mad Men, so what a thrill to spot Sterling Cooper honcho John Slattery getting his caffeine on at the Starbucks on Main Street in Santa Monica.

TUESDAY, JUNE 10
Former TV Superman Dean Cain swooping down into Beverly Hills for some shopping at Tom's Toys on Beverly Drive.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12
Saw John Corbett at LAX on Thursday. T-shirt, jeans, boots, with tinted Ray-Bans at the Hudson Books. Tall with a paunch that looks just right on him. Looks like a very hip carpenter. No one seemed to notice him even though he's a pretty big dude.

At the Palms in Vegas for a little work and a little fun, CineVegas is happening. I caught the opening night film, The Rocker, and went to the after party at Moon and the cast was there. Emma Stone is stunning in person, her waist is teeny and her skin is all Hollywood teen glow, she was hanging out with who I think was her mom. Jane Lynch was in a cool 50's style dress with pockets, lady is tall and very animated when she talks. Open bar here is a dangerous thing.

I was having dinner at the Mel's on Sunset Blvd. across from Ketchup. As me and my boyfriend got up to leave, I heard an easily recognizable voice. I look down and sitting at a booth with a couple of her friends was the star of Broadway's Wicked and ABC's Pushing Daisies, Kristin Chenoweth. She looked adorable as ever!

FRIDAY, JUNE 13
Around 8 am, I passed the front desk at The Palms and saw Dennis Hopper talking to who I assume was his assistant. He looks good for an older guy, white hair, sharply dressed, short and holding onto a bottle of water. I then head to the elevator and walk past Rainn Wilson in red wayfarers and a golf shirt, he's tall and funny looking, the same as one would imagine. Seemed like he had a long night and was asking where the Coffee Bean was. Later in the day, Bill Pullman came through the casino in a navy blazer, he stopped and took photos with people. There was a CineVegas anniversary party at the Palms Place pool. Hopper, George Maloof and tons of people were there including some guy with a cat perched on his shoulder and Britney Spears. She was seated in a cabana with a velvet rope in front of it where two HUGE security guys minded her and a few friends. She was in a black cocktail dress and sat sipping her drink and was surprisingly pretty. The fake tan didn't look so fake and she looked like she had been styled for the night. I wouldn't have noticed her had it not been for the rope. The whole thing was weird. Like walking past a diorama in the Natural History Museum...The Britney Exhibit. She sat watching the party happen and the party peered at her like she was some kind endangered species....and of course, Prince Paul kept interrupting his set to play her music. Tres surreal.

Jeremy Piven looking very chubby at Zen Zoo, on Vine.

Lunchtime in Beverly Hills near the Chipotle, I THINK I saw Jack Black coming down the sidewalk. He was carrying a bag of fast food, unlike other Bev Hills denizens, who carry bags of ugly empire-waisted dresses. I wasn't super certain it was him...but then I saw that belly, that belly that practically got second billing on Nacho Libre. I hope it was him as I said "Hello, awesome!" as we passed each other on the sidewalk. If it was just another chubby dude, then THAT was terribly embarrassing...

Luke Wilson looking extremely hot at my local pavillion supermarket in Santa Monica. Drove off in his illegally tinted silver porsche and while at the red light, kept raising and lowering his window like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be noticed. Looking very sexy tho.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14
Britney at Palms Place in Vegas. There with one of her enablers and a Russian bodyguard. She was chain smoking cigarettes and eating chicken fingers as she sat by the pool. It's true — she's all class.

Saw Giovanni Ribisi at the carwash on Vermont and Prospect. He smoked a cigarette and read a script while he waited for his car. He kept to himself and was completely unassuming so much so I almost feel guilty sending in this sighting. I wasn't able to see what type of car he drives as my car was finished before his.

At the valet stand at Planet Hollywood, I waited for my keys and looked to my left, there standing beside me was Kevin Federline. He's a little guy, wearing his requisite white t-shirt and baggy shorts. Wasn't impressed. Probably not a coincidence that Britney is in town too. Later that night at the Palms, I saw Bijou Philips perform at another CineVegas party. She sang for a little while and hung out by the pool, her voice wasn't half bad. Spotted Traci Lords waiting for an elevator in stilettos and a tight black dress, she has aged insanely well.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15
In Planet Hollywood, I saw Dwayne Johnson tan, lean and HOT coming down the main escalator going to a screening of Get Smart. He's tall and surprisingly good looking, not bulky or wrestler-esque. He stopped and signed autographs in the casino and had a seriously huge entourage.

Back at the Palms, I saw a sunburned Morgan Spurlock by the pool, handlebar moustache in full effect. Passed by Beastie Boy MCA (Adam Yauch) on the casino floor.

MONDAY, JUNE 16
I saw Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men on the Continental redeye from Newark to LAX. He was dressed just like Pete Campbell in a brown suit and vintage skinny tie, and bopping around the terminal to whatever was on his iPod. Staying in his character's groove I guess, he was only slightly more subdued once on board (first class of course). Much better looking in person than on the show, but an occasional burger wouldn't kill him - the guy is rail thin.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18
Last night I saw doe-eyed indie goddess/ingenue Zooey Deschanel at the Rilo Kiley Show at the Greek. Looked absolutely stunning (and happy), wearing a gorgeous green dress.

THURSDAY, JUNE 19
As we were leaving Juvenex Spa in Manhattan at 9pm, Paris Hilton was just coming in. She was all dressed up and decked out. I guess with the stress of being Paris she needed a massage.

Saw Gwen Stefani and family (including her dad) enjoying dinner at Buddha's Belly on Beverly last night (6/19). Aside from the few annoying paparazzi outside, they were pretty much left alone. Gwen looked gorgeous without all of that caked on makeup!

In today's installment: Kiefer Sutherland, Lauren Bacall, Ashlee Simpson, Christopher "McLovin Sucks Balls!" Mintz-Plasse, Paula Abdul, Bob Odenkirk, Hank Azaria, David Wain, Benjamin McKenzie, Jackie Warner, Paul Haggis, Jane Lynch, Shane West, Ken Davitian (twice!), Brad Garrett, Joe Rogan, Bitsie Tulloch, Jennifer Morrison, Christopher Titus and more.

FRIDAY, MAY 20
· Sitting at the bar at 4100, smack dab in the middle of a Square Pegs DVD discussion, trying to remember the name of the actress who played Muffy, my friend suggests asking the guy who just sat down next to us. I turn around to see everyone’s favorite Lost Boy, Kiefer Sutherland, who just happened to co-star with her (Jami Gertz) in that iconic bit of cinematic magic. Fellow patrons approached us with their best The Lost Boys quotes. “Mi-chael, Mi-chael.” & “It’s just noodles.” were among the favorites. Surprisingly, there was not one quote from A Few Good Men—WTF?. Lt. Jonathan Kendrick was drinking J & B neat with a few civilians who favored PBR in a can. He did a funny little dance when “Oh Bondage, Up Yours” came on the jukebox, which my friend took to mean that he did not approve. After he had a few drinks in him, Jack Bauer was overheard to say to a female companion, “I would definitely be all over your ass.” I figured Chloe must have downloaded the schematics to his PDA. After last call we were escorted out while he stayed with his friends to smoke and drink.

TUESDAY, MAY 27
· Saw Benjamin McKenzie and a male friend eating in silence at Hugo's. Both wolfed down their quasi-healthy and always-surprisingly-bland-fare (seriously! why do i keep going back?) with nary a word spoken between them. Afterwards they shared a huge chocolate sundae. Then they simultaneously texted. In silence. A few grunts here and there and that was all. A typical hetero night in Boystown? That guy was amazing in Junebug, btw. Seriously. What a great actor.

· Saw Brad Garrett rocking out to the Police during night one of their two nights at the Hollywood Bowl. The people behind him only heard the show. Dude is tall. He left during the encore.

THURSDAY, MAY 29
· This one's for all of you - all three of you- who are obsessed with internet sensation/primetime disaster QUARTERLIFE. R.E.M. show at the Bowl: saw "Dylan", Bitsie Tulloch, and her QLIFE enemy "Britanny", Barret Swatek. In line together, buying one lone beer. I so wanted them to start making out like they did on screen but they just flirted with the lucky guy next to them and walked off into the night to drink their beer and probably make out in the dark to some REM soft ballad. Also, looks as though Qlife didn't pay that well because they were both in serious need of a sandwich.

· The West Hollywood Equinox is no stranger to (sort of) celebrities, but this morning I saw Jackie Warner from Bravo's "Work Out" there. I don't normally care very much who I see there, but I found it interesting that a woman with a reality show about owning a gym doesn't even work out there! What a sham...

· I saw Shane West last night (5/29) and the 24-hour fitness in Hollywood, looking very good. A lot shorter in person than I would expect.

· At the DGA screening of Dirty Harry, I saw: Paul Haggis, Ken Davitian (of Borat fame), Gary Cole from Office Space and The Brady Bunch movies, Christopher "Shooter McGavin" McDonald (he seemed pretty friendly to a group of girls who approached him in the lobby after the screening), Jon Voight (he too seemed nice, posing for a few pictures with fans), and Lonny Ross from 30 Rock, who seemed to be by himself. I really wanted to approach him and tell him what a huge fan of 30 Rock I am, but I don't recall him being on any of the recent episodes, so I didn't want to offend him in case he's no longer on it.

SATURDAY, MAY 31
· At Palmetto (bath-goop store on Montana in Santa Monica), saw Lauren Bacall. She was being fawned over by the staff, plied with lotions balms and salves. Well why not? She's a legend and she had Bogart. Looks good, and still has that plummy, New York voice.

· Saw Joe Rogan of Fear Factor fame standing outside of the movie theaters at The Grove. He had his entire index finger in his mouth, apparently trying to pick a kernel of popcorn from his teeth or something. Dude, that's what bathrooms are for.

SUNDAY, JUNE 1
· Had lunch at Maggiano's on Sunday (June 1st) and saw Paula Abdul there. She was pretty much ignoring the three people in her group by talking nonstop on her cell.

· Arrived to an oddly not-terribly-crowded Hugo's on SMB just as Jane Lynch walked out. While patiently waiting for our table, Milo Ventimiglia walked in (wearing a black Robot Chicken T-Shirt) and patiently waits to be seated. Although we thought we had experienced our share of sightings for a single Hugo's outing, as we went to pull out from the parking lot behind the restaurant, Bryan Singer pulled up in his gas guzzler.

· The delightfully normal-looking and -acting (yet brilliant and funny) Bob Odenkirk at the Trader Joe's in Silver Lake during the morning. Good sighting, but i was more thrilled to find an actual parking spot...

· Was wandering around the afterparty at the MTV Movie Awards and, predictably, saw a lot of famous people running around. I won't bore you with those details, but this one stuck. Anna Faris was talking to a group of friends when two female fans approached her, asking for a picture. Being the doll that she is, she complied. However, her douchebaggy boyfriend (gentleman caller?) was really rude to these fans. He laughed dismissively when they asked her, and then made fun of them after they left. What a dick.

MONDAY, JUNE 2
· Hank Azaria was at the 7:15pm screening of Bigger, Stronger, Faster* at the Arclight. I wonder which of his characters is on the juice? Chief Wiggum? Apu? The Comic Book Guy? Cletus? Professor Frink? Dr. Nick Riveria (he's kind of like an anti-aging doctor), Snake is definitely on steroids...

TUESDAY, JUNE 3
· I had an eventful 30 minutes or so sitting in the Arclight courtyard on June 3rd. I saw chameleon actor Clifton Collins Jr. with a woman who looked, as Variety likes to put it, non-industry. Next up: Heavenly Creature Melanie Lynskey and her husband, Sunny in Philadelphia's Jimmi Simpson. And finally, the willowy Jennifer Morrison breezed past with her new beau Amaury Nolasco from Prison Break. Is it too far-fetched to conclude they were all coming out of the same screening of Sex and the City?

· Saw former good actor Michael Rapaport while having lunch at Bloom. Thankfully, the female talent dining there distracted me enough that I even forgot about seeing him until a moment ago. Food was ultra-tasty, btw. But seriously, kids, the women there were all the more delicious.

· Saw David Wain at the Groundworks coffee on the corner of Sunset and Cahuenga. He's an early riser, that one. Resisted the urge to quote Wet Hot American Summer lines while he stood in line. He grabbed himself a morning coffeee, wandered around for a few minutes and then headed out the door.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4
· During the early afternoon, saw Rashida Jones looking good and getting into a black hybrid SUV nr Robertson Blvd and Alden. My Chappelle's Show-loving girlfriend went "Team Karen! Oh hey, is it muthafuckin' tizzight?" (in a friendly way). She didn't turn around.

· [ED. NOTE — We normally don't include NYC sightings, but this one is kinda priceless] Ashlee Simpson at Kips Bay movie theater in NYC. It was not hard to spot Ashlee at the 7p screening of Sex and the City. She was sitting in a ROPED OFF area with her NONtourage - totally solo. She had purchased 3 rows of seats so that she would not have to mix with the plebs. An usher stood by the ropes to explain to all the bitter patrons why they couldn't sit there. EW.

· Lunchtime at the McDonalds in Century City, we spotted Ken Davitian, he of balls in the face Borat fame, wolfing down his meal very quickly. He didn't eat the bun, he apparently ate all his fries, and seemed in and out in about 10 minutes! We watched him quite openly instead of being all stealth and nonchalant about it. He did not notice us staring at him or hear me whispering probably a little too loud: "Jeeze, I've seen that guys balls".

THURSDAY, JUNE 5
· At the Parliament show at Crash Mansion, saw McLovin' wearing a Red Sox cap and talking trash about the Lakers with some fans. He was polite and patient with the people, who did not return the favor. When his friends finally extricated him from the mob, the scorned fans shouted loudly "McLovin' Sucks Balls!" All class, Laker fans.

· Very tall and skinny Christopher Titus at one of 80,000 Starbucks on Ventura Blvd, in Studio City.