In "The Toronto Declaration: No Celebration of Occupation" posted online today, a dazzling array of festival-hopping luminaries denounced the festival for celebrating "an apartheid regime." Saying that the Tel Aviv celebration plays into a sinister Israeli government cabal to create "Brand Israel" the declaration states:

This program ignores the suffering of thousands of former residents and descendants of the Tel Aviv/Jaffa area who currently live in refugee camps in the Occupied Territories or who have been dispersed to other countries, including Canada. Looking at modern, sophisticated Tel Aviv without also considering the city's past and the realities of Israeli occupation of the West Bank and the Gaza strip, would be like rhapsodizing about the beauty and elegant lifestyles in white-only Cape Town or Johannesburg during apartheid without acknowledging the corresponding black townships of Khayelitsha and Soweto.

The signatories include Naomi Klein, David Byrne, Eve Ensler, Jane Fonda, Danny Glover, Ken Loach, Wallace Shawn, Alice Walker and Howard Zinn.

On the other end of the entertainment world, thousands of citizens of Los Angeles were reportedly struck deaf by a thunderous electronic tone after every agency and production company in Hollywood simultaneously took their phones off the hook to avoid being asked if they supported the Toronto's Film Festival's Spotlight on Tel Aviv.

Our very organized movie maven—we'll call her Ines—insisted on a carpool and meet up at her house in Venice at 6 p.m. sharp. This, despite the fact that the movie itself started at 8:30. She had prepared at least a half dozen salads, and her friends brought another 10 dishes. By the time we piled the food into the car, you would have thought we were going camping for 10 days, not going to a two-hour movie.

But, as we were soon to understand, sustenance is key. The line to drive into the cemetery was already blocking traffic at 7. The suckers on foot were snaked around like they were waiting for a Disneyland ride. And we were the first ones in.


We walked past some pretty groovy graves that made me reconsider getting a burial plot when that day is upon me.

Once inside, it was like a hipster parade—otherwise known as a fashion show. It was as if everyone under 29 and in possession of Samantha Ronson-esque fedoras had been lured to one place at the same time.


We were all there to witness the wonder that is Barbarella; the 1960s version of a so-bad-it's-good-movie, rivaled only during our time by Showgirls.

During the hour and half run up to the movie itself, everyone gorged themselves on their picnics (and I assure you, we had the best spread), and the air quickly filled with a fragrant smell that was not incense. DJ Jun spun tunes appropriate to the era—we heard "Walk on the Wild Side"—as the screen flashed old movie posters featuring Audrey Hepburn and Bridget Bardot. The Fonda images scrolled by, and the one of her in her '80s workout gear got the biggest response.

Having never seen Barbarella, I was shocked at the burlesque-like opening sequence where Fonda strips out of her space suit. I was also very jealous of her flat stomach and her perky breasts, but that is a conversation for another time.

Watching a movie such as this with a few hundred, or thousand, of your closest non-friends is especially fun. During her first conquest (I counted four, if you include the sex machine at the end) with the hairy guy, wolf whistles and shouts abounded.

The entire thing is so amazing from start to finish, you can't believe it actually got made. And I was horrified to learn that they are planning on remaking it with Robert Rodriguez as the director and Rose McGowan in the lead (that is, until they supposedly broke up in July). Though McGowan insists that she's not been replaced, other names like Kate Beckinsale, Sienna Miller, and—just shoot me—Jessica Alba, have been mentioned. The Movie Nazi thought that if such a perfect movie must be tinkered with, it must feature Lindsay Lohan. C'mon, you know you wanna see that.

I'll end by quoting Barbarella's commander when he tells her—as she stands before the prompter taking orders naked—"Thank you and love. One day we must meet in the flesh."

Next week: OMG! Super hot Jake in Sixteen Candles.

UPDATE (2:55pm): Ellen Page's "power lesbian" publicist Kelly Bush (#50 on Out Magazine's Power 50) responds! Full response after the jump.

The full item is as follows:

"Which rising young actress was informed at a recent film party that Jane Fonda wanted to meet her? 'I don't give a [bleep],' came the jaded response."

UPDATE (2:55pm): Here's the response that came from Ellen Page's publicist, Kelly Bush:

Ellen had a lovely conversation with Jane Fonda at the "Smart People" party. Jane was telling her about the upcoming V-Day event in New Orleans. Ellen was not able to attend since she is in pre-production on her next two films. She has requested I get her more information about the work Jane and Eve Ensler are doing so she can help in some way. We have several other clients in New Orleans right now including Jennifer Hudson and Salma Hayek. I am sure it is going to be an amazing event.

• NEW YORK MINUTE [Gatecrasher]

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your predilection for jarring early morning euphemisms for the female reproductive system), this faux pas will surely be cut from the West Coast feed this morning. But thanks to the magic of TiVo, we were able to capture it in all its glory for you. It's a Valentine's Day Miracle!

*Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories

And those are only the actresses who won an Oscar. Shirley MacLaine was nominated twice, (and lost twice), for playing a lady of the night in Some Came Running and Irma La Douce. And Nicole Kidman, Elizabeth Shue and Gloria Swanson were all nominated for playing pros and lost out. As was Julia Roberts, who was denied the Oscar in 1991 for Pretty Woman. Still, with the record of success of starlets playing streetwalkers, we guess that actress Anna Faris is onto something!

That Naughty, Naked Golden Boy Oscar Sure Loves Floozies! [L.A. TImes]

On today's Martha Stewart Show, unstoppable party juggernaut Lindsay Lohan—who could not even be slowed by a pricey, totally unnecessary outpatient rehab program—finally lets her defenses down (once Martha gets you into her kitchen and has you whipping up profiteroles, you're fucking toast) and reveals the one person who could possibly end her reign of clubbing terror: Georgia Rule co-star Jane Fonda. As reassuring as it is to discover that there's at least one authority figure the troubled actress might actually listen to, we fear that new ET correspondent Dina Lohan might be so deeply hurt that she might use her next Rule assignment to hunt down Fonda for an ugly confrontation, grabbing a fistful of the older actress's hair and screaming, "So, now you're trying to steal my meal ticket, you commie bitch? Don't fuck with a mom from Strong Island with nothing to lose!," a tussle during which a peacemaking Cojo tragically loses an eye to Dina's wildly flailing fingernails.

• The Martha Stewart Show [MarthaStewart.com]
• Previously: Lindsay Lohan Survives Letterman Softballing [Defamer]

"I think every once in a while, a very, very young person who is burning both ends of the candle needs to have somebody say, `You know, you're going to pay the piper, you better slow down.' So I think it was good," the 68-year-old actress told "Access Hollywood" in an interview to air Tuesday. [...]

"I just want to take her in my arms and hold her until she becomes grown-up," she says. "She's so young and she's so alone out there in the world in terms of structure and, you know, people to nurture her. And she's so talented."

When interviewer Maria Menounos asked what kinds of things Fonda did at Lohan's age, Fonda replied with a definitive, "Not that." Perhaps what Fonda most disapproves of isn't so much Lohan's spirited sense of rebelliousness, but rather what she perceives to be the frivolous pursuits through which the young, gravel-voiced starlet is channeling it. But we think she'd be heartened to know that Lohan also possesses a passionate political conscience: Not only did she express a passing interest in paying the troops a visit—quite possibly to facilitate a friendly photo-op with the insurgency while she's there—but Lohan has also quietly incorporated an updated, more radical version of the classic feminist protest practice of bra-burning into her daily dressing routine.

• Fonda says Lohan needs to slow down [AP]
• Jane Fonda's Advice To Lindsay Lohan [AccessHollywood.com]

• Georgia' on their minds [Variety]