Boomp3.com

Environmentalist/female naturalist Jamie Lee Curtis brought back her beloved Uncle Jam character at a Halloween party/charity event over the weekend. Regarding her costume, Curtis said, “Given the current political situation, it just felt right that Uncle Jam came out of the closet and reminded people that an election is coming up very soon.”

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Any mother or father for that matter who has taken care of her own home economics, cleaning, cooking, mending and minor carpentry skills will lament the lack of respect and remuneration given to those fields yet they are vital to the sustaining of any race of people and are crucial to a public body growing and developing.

Follow the jump for an even more-impassioned, all-caps rallying cry, a mockumentary adaptation of which Curtis's husband Christopher Guest will likely have sold today by noon.

I AM NOT SAYING THAT I FACE THAT DAILY ECONOMIC CRISIS, SO ALL YOU SOON-TO- RESPOND-WITH-YOUR-COMMENTS FOLKS TAKE A CHILL PILL AND JUST GO WITH ME HERE.

I am not, for a second, trying even to relate to the daily struggle of a low-income mother trying to raise and educate her children in today's crumbling economy. I am only saying that my ability to sew this outfit, pants, hat, and jacket, with facing and grommets and zippers is only because I was TAUGHT. ... We need to let our elected leaders know that education should be the most important issue in this election. Without it, our children, the future of this great nation, will be unprepared and will watch jobs being given to people from other countries.

I am glad that I was given these skills as part of a basic, public school education. I want that for all children. ... Maybe if Obama wins, I will sew him a nice tie to wear for his inauguration.

Wait — Jaime Lee Curtis went to public school? That would explain the run-on sentences.

• HOme Economics [The Huffington Post]

Show: On The Lot, 2007
Network: Fox
Wizards: Steven Spielberg and Mark Burnett, producers. Carrie Fisher, Garry Marshall, and Brett Ratner, judges.
Fate: Lasting only one season, the extremely low-rated show pitted unknown directors against one another based on three-minute film submissions. Despite winner Will Bigham's "directing" aspirations, Will is currently and unsurprisingly pounding the pavement as a (still-unknown) actor.

Project Greenlight, 2001-05:
Network: HBO (two seasons), Bravo (one season)
Wizards: Alex Keledjian and Eli Holzman, creators. Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Chris Moore, producers, backed by Miramax Films and LivePlanet.
Fate: HBO dumped the series to Bravo after two seasons in which the winning screenwriters' films each grossed under $300k in national releases. Bravo's winning duo turned out the little-remembered horror movie (oops) Feast that, despite the best efforts of GULAGER, went quickly to limited release, and even more quickly to DVD.

Grease: You're The One That I Want, 2007
Network: NBC
Wizards: BBC fashioned the US show after Andrew Lloyd Webber's successful format for casting Broadway unknowns in How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? in the UK. Billy Bush hosted.
Fate: As with so many series borrowed by the Brits, NBC's gamble followed in the footsteps of The Office and American Idol, turning out big ratings and even bigger interest (at first) on Broadway once the winning leads took the stage.

It Factor, 2002
Network: Bravo
Wizards: Nicole Torre, Alice Peck, producers.
Fate: Though the show lasted just two seasons, the documentary following actors trying to get their big break did turn out two working stars. Sure, one got a gig as a 7Up spokesman, but Michaela Conlin went on to become a regular on Bones.

Show:Fight For Fame, 2005
Network: E!
Wizards: Adam Lieblein and Greg Meyer, producers and Acme agents.
Fate: Another documentary-style program, featuring five wannabe actors competing for a deal with Acme, the show suffered due to a boring format (monologues began each episode) and predictably low interested in real-agents-as-stars. Had Ari Emanuel been in charge, it would have been another story. The SF Gate summarized the one-season snoozer by including it in a piece entitled "Some Shows So Bad You Can't Be Paid To Watch."

• VH1 GREENLIGHTS 'SCREAM QUEENS' [THR]

boomp3.com


Popular actresses Sharon Stone and Melanie Griffith had a power lunch at the Ivy, a lunch that was followed by a day of power shopping along Robertson Blvd. Contrary to popular belief, the two actresses did not spend the afternoon discussing various methods and means to stop the aging process or catching up on the latest gossip. Instead, Stone and Griffith were hatching a plan to topple Jamie Lee Curtis as America's favorite over-forty actress/personality. Griffith and Stone, by the end of their meal, concluded that they have to be open and honest with the public in order to be embraced by them, which meant allowing the world to see their natural hair color. Neither actress had reached the point where they were ready to disclose their natural color; in fact, Stone said that she hadn't seen her original hair color since 1982.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

• Saturday Night Live [NBC]

In today's episode: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren; Larry David; Seth Rogen; Dave Annable, Matthew Rhys, and Emily VanCamp; Larry Birkhead; Laurence Fishburne; Peter Krause and Bob Odenkirk; Tony Hale; Jamie Lee Curtis; David Hasselhoff and Spoon; Connie Britton; John Landis; Cindy Crawford; Sharon Lawrence; and Janice Dickinson.

· I just ran into Jessica Alba and Cash Warren at the Ralphs on Doheny and Beverly Blvd, about 10:30pm Tuesday Dec. 5th. Cash was pushing the grocery cart and seemed to be doing all the shopping, while Jessica was wandering up another aisle by herself. She wasn't looking at anything on the shelves, just wandering, which I thought was odd. Also, there was a beautiful white Bentley GT in the parking lot. I'm assuming it was hers.

· Larry David having drinks last night (12/6) at Wilshire in SM with a smoking hot young blonde. Seriously, she was like late 20s, all done up and starlet-y. Not a daughter/relative/assistant b/c he was sitting on a bar stool and she was cozying up to him. And she kept smiling all lovey-dovey. Not a first date, but it looked like it was new. Nice work, LD!

· 11/30 - Went to Boulevard 3 to see Ringside play a late night show (almost too late for this old lady) and of course saw Balthazar Getty (he's in the band) but also spied his t.v. brothers Dave Annable and Matthew Rhys) who both looked so cute in person. I was told that the girl sucking face with Annable was his illegitimate t.v. sister (Emily VanCamp)- ew. But I don't watch the show much, so I can't say for sure. The band was solid, sounded better than I remember— LUV that song 'Tired of Being Sorry'!

12/02 - Was waiting in line at Milk on Beverly Blvd and Seth Rogen walked in behind me with a petite, down-to-earth looking brunette. I approve of the coupling (if that's the case). Not sure what they got, but I do know he drove off in a brand new shiny black Lexus sedan.

Really old, sorry: 11/19 - Daughtry show at the Orpheum. I was NOT there to see Daughtry (although those fans make for some good people watching). No, I was there to see cuties The Midway State— talk about an odd pairing of bands! Anywho, during the break between TMS and Daughtry, I spied much shorter than expected and just as thin as assumed, ANS baby daddy, Larry Birkhead. Now, I don't think the man is attractive, but in pictures he has that saccharine cuteness thing going. Not so in person. He was just sorta there.

· Dec 3 - WEIRD! I'm at the back bar [next to the kitchen] at the Abbey, and who's standing to my left? Laurence Fishburne. Wearing a black leather jacket, and with a white male friend around his age. Make your own speculations about this one!

· 12/5 Saw Bob Odenkirk (he of the hilarious Mr. Show and the unfunny everything else, not the reliably unfunny /Steve/ Oedekerk) at the Koo Koo Roo on Larchmont and Beverly. He was all "WGA this," and "strike that" into his cel phone. When I drove away I nearly hit Peter Krause crossing Larchmont. Maybe he was too busy thinking about the Darling family blah blah fakety-fake (though this /was/ a real sighting).

· Tony "Buster Bluth" Hale and family in line to see Santa at the Grove: It was last night (12.6.07) at around 5:00. My son and I were in line a few people back from them. Very jovial fellow. Their nearly one year old, as expected, didn't care for being on Santa's knee.

· Dec 4- With all the Jamie Lee Curtis sightings earlier this week, I feel obliged to give you mine. I was at a Shepard Fairey preview before the opening and saw her talking loudly to her Robin Quivers-eque friend about a piece she would have bought if it wasn't already sold. Not bad for a cougar but kinda sending that 'militant lesbian' vibe....but in a good way. Excellent art show BTW.

· Dec 5- Spotted the band Spoon outside baggage claim at LAX. Later, David Hasselhoff wandering down Robertson. He looked bewildered and sorta wandered back and forth around the block. He was probably waiting for someone to recognize him.

· My total girl-crush Connie "Mrs. Coach" Britton - enjoying a late supper at Cafe des Artistes in Hollywood on Thursday night. It looked like a date as they were still deep in conversation as we left at 12:30 AM. If it was, dude has definitely outkicked his coverage. Happy Holidays!

· Dec 5 - Dammit, I just just saw 80s auteur John Landis at the Metropolitan Museum of Art gift store at the Century City mall. He and his wife came in to shop just as I was paying my bill. He looks pretty much the same since the "Making of Thriller" days, albeit a little greyer. I assume he was with his wife, who is pretty and classy in a mature/non-plastic surgery-laden way. I so wanted to tell him what a huge fan I was, but chickened out. I may just have to settle by watching my "American Werewolf in London" DVD.

· Dec 3 - Was on a little vaca down in San Diego this weekend and spotted Cindy Crawford hanging at the recently opened Sweetwater Saloon in the new Hard Rock hotel. I was way too shy to approach her on my own, but my wonderful girlfriend stepped in to make the introduction. Cindy, who is just as beautiful in person, was very gracious and sweet ... and I may never wash my hand again.

· Dec 6 - Last week saw Sharon Lawrence in the lobby of my office building; looking very content...and very doable...I always thought she was hot in a MILFy-like way...

· A couple of sightings from Wednesday's Spice Girls show: I wasn't anywhere near Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I did spot Nick Verreos, who was right up by the runway and totally into the show, and Janice Dickinson, who had floor seats but seemed to be coming and going the whole time.

In today's episode: Josh Brolin; Al Pacino and Beverly D'Angelo; Jamie Lee Curtis; Michael Cera; Michael Keaton; Adam Brody and Scott Adsit; Faye Dunaway; Gabrielle Anwar; Joel Madden; Cynthia Watros; Becki Newton; and Rami Kashou.

· Dec 2 - Josh Brolin at the Arclight on Sunset. Kneeling down to have what seemed a heartfelt conversation with a lady in a wheel chair. A solid and caring fellow.

· Al Pacino and Beverly D'Angelo sighting - Nov 27 - Fresh from an amazing massage at the Massage Garage I decided to stop off at the Coffee Bean on Olympic and Bundy on my way home. Nothing says "after massage drink" than an English Breakfast Latte. I'm still in the haze of having has all my knots and such worked out and hardly notice the people around me. All I know is that there is no line for everyone has already been served their coffee and tea or whatever. After I place my order I walk to the pick up location and glance over to a man and a woman sitting at the window facing Olympic. I nearly wet myself when I see that it is Al Pacino. His hair was all out of place as though he had just rolled out of bed but he still looked sexy. Seriously, he did. I know that is sort of odd since the man could be my grandfather, okay, father, but he is quite sexy. Unlike Al, Beverly's hair was perfectly coiffed and she looked hot. I wish I had the guts to sit next to them and sip on my latte while listening in on their conversation. Oh well.

Oh, and yesterday (Nov 26) I saw Jamie Lee Curtis on Wilshire in Santa Monica leaving the Whole Foods. She had a cloth Whole Foods bag over one shoulder and was heading back to her car.

· Jamie Lee Curtis on Little Santa Monica near Le Pain Quotidienne in Beverly Hills while I was there sipping lemonade. IMDB says she just turned 49, so I gotta' say, Wanda Gershwitz was looking good - strutting along apparently happy and healthy in a long sleeved black T and jeans. That is all.

· We saw George Michael (Michael Cera) last night (Dec 1) on Avocado Street in Los Feliz, in the back of restaurant Mexico City. He was having a delightful animated conversation with a young lady who was sitting on a brick wall. He looked adorable and it was all I could do not to run up to them, tackle him, and hug him until he could no longer breathe. Fearing prosecution, I controlled myself.

· Saturday, December 1. Michael Keaton at Peet's Coffee on Main Street in Santa Monica, in hat and sunglasses, sitting with us plebes, looking fit, if a tad old. But still has it.

· My friend and I went for a casual late lunch at KING'S ROAD CAFE after our day of sample sale shopping...and a super hot blond Australian sat down next to us...and 2 minutes later Adam Brody. They were talking about a "project" they were potentially doing together and he said he was super excited/nervous about getting the part...(THE FLASH maybe??) then just as we were getting out food Scott Adsit (Peter-30 Rock) sat down on the other side. And he was with the most beautiful model-type with long legs. I thought the best part of my day was my deals at the sample sale, but nothing like a little celeb sighting.

· Faye Dunaway works out at my gym. She wears the same thing every morning - blue sweatsuit, white baseball cap and a plastic glove on usually only one hand (my friend says when she's saner she wears them on both hands - one for milk, the other for meat). She weighs maybe 85 pounds wet and doesn't color her hair anymore. She is pulled tight beyond recognition and can scare small children. Yesterday (Nov 26) I noticed that she was wearing an ipod and I couldn't help but wonder what Mommie Dearest must have on her ipod. It sure as Hell ain't Doris Day. More like Nine Inch Nails.

· So I was at the Apple Store in Santa Monica Monday morning when I hear this great British accent, look over and there is Gabrielle Anwar trying to get her iPhone fixed. A little older (as am I - we're a month apart it turns out) and tiny—really tiny— but still super cute. It was a real synchronicity moment for me since "For Love Or Money" was on Sunday and that got me wondering what she was up to these days. The best part was the super cheesey dude who then tried to pick her up as she was looking at cases for her phone. Man was it painful to listen to him offer to buy her coffee... she was, however, super nice to him and when he left she had a smile and a look on her face that said "What was he thinking?" Couldn't agree more: lamest pickup attempt. Ever.

· I decided to brave the hell that is The Grove on saturday night 12/1. coming out of Nordstrom, noticed Joel Madden, aka Mr. Nicole Richie, waiting out front. no one really noticed him. figured he might be waiting for Nicole. nope, just some emo guy. google tells me it was the keyboard/rhythm guitar player in his band, Billy Martin.

· Thursday, 2:15pm
Just spotted Cynthia Watros (Libby, season 2 of Lost) in the parking lot of the Whole Foods at 3rd and Fairfax. She was with another gal, who had on a shirt that read, "unfair isn't funny" or something like that. Writer? Anyway, Watros is normal height, thin but not scary, had no makeup on—in workout type clothes. If she had been driving, I would have run for cover, but she just stood around.

· I saw the girl who plays Amanda (BECKI NEWTON) on Ugly Betty leaving either Ona Spa or Prive last Saturday, leggings, arm in harm with her gay, and slightly darker in the hair department. Totally bigger than she looks on TV in a good way. She looks like the 2nd most popular girl on a boarding school field hockey team. She had cute teeth. Is that weird?

· Dec 2 - At the Ralph's in Silver Lake - Rami Kashou from the current season of Project Runway. I saw last season's winner Jeffrey Sebelia there earlier this year, so maybe it's the Project Runway Ralph's. Rock 'n Roll Ralph's can suck it.

· To kick off Day Three of the strike, the WGA has proudly announced its ShowrunnerPalooza 2007 event at Disney/ABC Studios in Burbank at 9 a.m., a two hour festival of solidarity that features an all-star lineup of TV's most powerful producers marching in lockstep with their picketing colleagues. Hurry over to catch a special musical performance by a reunited Rage Against the Machine! "MEDIA ADVISORY: TV'S TOP SHOWRUNNERS TO WALK THE PICKET LINE AT DISNEY/ABC STUDIOS
WHAT: Seventy-five of TV's top showrunners will join their fellow Writers Guild members on the picket line at Disney/ABC Studios. The Writers Guild of America is on strike against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP)."

· Though backchannelling (our favorite buzzword of the strike) has resumed, the town is quickly succumbing to a bowel-loosening* feeling of dread that the work stoppage could drag on into 2008. The middle of 2008. [*for some reason, fear and incontinence always seem to go hand in hand with us] [Variety]
· Did we mention pants are being crapped over the prospect of a prolonged strike? They are! [THR]
· Guild sources says they were "deliberately duped" into returning to Sunday's ill-fated bargaining session by being told dropping their demand for increased DVD residuals would result in gains in the internet issue. But no concessions were made, shattering the WGA's trust in anything they're secretly promised by charming liars Fox's Peter Chernin and CBS's Les Moonves. [DHD]
· An anonymous, rank-and-file TV writer journals out his fears about the strike's impact on his life, career and bank account: "On a personal level, I can't stop fixating on the toll this is taking on my life and career. First off, there's the simple and immediate issue of money. If this strike goes on for months (some colleagues have even suggested a year), I'll be financially crippled. I haven't been doing this long enough to have any kind of cushion. And unlike the more famous names out there, there's a good chance I won't be able to find work when this is all over. Kiss my career momentum goodbye. [EW.com]
· Hollywood ChantWatch, Everyone's A Critic Edition: While Jamie Lee Curtis supports striking writers, she's disappointed they've so far failed to generate Oscar-quality slogans. [HuffPo]
· Studio executives threaten that they're about to start suspending their long-term deals with striking writers, a move that will also put any production company staffers not shooting pilots or shows out on the sidewalk with them. The layoff fun is about to begin! [LAT]

[Photo: AP]

There I was trying to celebrate with my friend when my eye kept being pulled to the set on the wall. There were some chefs on the screen, all standing with their hands clasped behind their backs, at attention, as a panel of people (who are they?) told them mostly bad things about, I assume, their food.

I knew they weren't nice supportive comments as the camera was close on the chefs' faces and they looked scared and sad. They were then marched in and out as a group until one woman was asked to leave. She was crying, packing up her knives. It made me so sad and sick to watch. Why was I drawn to this? I didn't want her to lose...did I? Do I? I don't even know her. Why would I wish her harm?

I understand there are many of these shows now. All "elimination"-based and faux reality. Real like a firing squad. I understand there is a good side, a jubilant winner getting their shot at fame and fortunes, but the bulk of the watching, I gather, is some communal elimination where the audience gets a hand in the stone-throwing. It begs the question of why we feel the need to watch this. Are we all so unhappy in our own lives we need the fix of watching another human go into the gladiator ring and come out a bloody, eviscerated mess? What does Russell Crowe scream in Gladiator — "Are you not entertained"? [...]

....What other human experience can we marginalize? What are the costs to our national psyche? What does this tell our children? What is this saying about us?

In my latest book for children, Is There Really A Human Race?, I pose the question: Is life nothing but a giant competition?

If Curtis can extrapolate America's inevitable descent into a Running Man-style distopia from a single, muted installment of Top Chef (we're not even going to consider the possibility it was Hell's Kitchen), the sensitive author will probably faint dead away the first time she stumbles across the far more brutal elimination ceremony of Kid Nation and sees a homesick 9-year-old driven out into the New Mexico desert by his pint-sized peers for an inability to complete his household chores. Unfortunately, the defensive mental shutdown resulting from such a scarring experience will probably erase the entire episode from her memory, depriving us of future, amusingly outraged blog posts that build to topical plugs for her latest children's book.

[*as of the summer of 2000]

• What's Next, Broadcasting Executions? [HuffPo]