WHAT'S NEW: As per tradition this June, it's another new release "duel" with an essentially foregone conclusion: The already-beloved (except among fat people and the GOP) Pixar entry Wall-E is ready to go at No. 1, with the bloody Angelina Jolie/James McAvoy destiny-caper Wanted lagging some miles behind with its R-rating. Crap-allergic audiences who stayed away from last week's openings may nudge Wall-E toward the high end of its projected $55 million opening. The same can be said of the male-skewing Wanted, which will surpass $40 million without much trouble. At least we hope so for Disney and Universal's sakes, as both films will vanish into Hancock's booze-smelling shadow in T-minus five days and counting.

Also opening: The Matthew Broderick gerund dramedy Finding Amanda; the Irish-drunks-at-a-wake comedy Red Roses and Petrol; and the 19th-century Catherine Breillat/Asia Argento clash The Last Mistress.

THE BIG LOSER: None of this weekend's new releases will underachieve that much, but The Love Guru may be the first film ever to drop 100% from its opening weekend. Get Smart won't age well, either.

THE UNDERDOG: A hybrid of stage readings, archival footage and interviews, Trumbo isn't going to blow any minds in illuminating the troubled life and times of its blacklisted novelist/screenwriter namesake Dalton Trumbo. That said, his story (adapted from son Christopher's off-Broadway play) is as concentrated an account of the blacklist's havoc as any we've seen, and the actors gathered to monologue his correspondence from the era — including Brian Dennehy, Joan Allen, Paul Giamatti and particularly David Strathairn — do well by their subject's moody talent. At the very least, Nathan Lane's stirring five-minute paean to masturbation is a YouTube hit in the making.

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD releases include Roland Emmerich's steaming pile of 10,000 BC; the dark, dark Colin Farrell hit-man comedy In Bruges; the Oscar-jilted, animated coming-of-age story Persepolis; the underrated rom-com Definitely Maybe; and the desperately awaited "Magical Musical Edition" of Xanadu — complete with soundtrack! (Razor blade sold separately.)

So what's your outlook for the weekend — lovesick robot or bullet-curving megastar? Or some other new, nifty treat altogether? Are you the one person in the country who'll dare to drop $11 on The Love Guru? Or is it an all-Xanadu weekend? Let us know — we can help!

Harrison Ford, Outed by Helen Mirren: "She considered him 'the nicest, sweetest guy you could want to meet. But he can't kiss - he finds it impossible to kiss on screen.' Then, she added: 'He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me - other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion.'"

Jason Segal, Outed by Alyson Hannigan: "Alyson refused to kiss him or do any romantic scenes with him, because he smelled like smoke. He thanks her for forcing him to do that because now he not only smells better, he feels better as well."

Orlando Bloom, Outed by Keira Knightley: "Keira Knightley claims Johnny Depp is a better kisser than Orlando Bloom...When quizzed on who she thought was the best kisser out of the two actors, she told InStyle magazine: 'Johnny Depp certainly wasn't bad.' Despite Orlando's gushing praise for Keira's kissing technique, he did admit he found it 'peculiar.'"

Steve Carell, Outed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I just see Steve Carell's lips. 'So the bottom of a cat's paw - the soft supple part underneath - that's what Steve Carell's lips are like. But his tongue is like kitty cat litter. That's the physical experience.'"

Woody Allen, Outed by Helena Bonham Carter: "He tells you up front certain ways of kissing he does not want. No exchange of liquid is permitted. It can be a bit offensive because he makes no effort at all."

Angelina Jolie, Outed by James McAvoy: "I can tell you what it was like to kiss her on a film set: It was awkward, sweaty and not very nice."

Tom Cruise, Outed by Thandie Newton: "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it."

Victoria Beckham, Outed by Corey Haim: "She does this little grr gnaw thing that felt like a girl gnawing on your lip."

Sienna Miller, Outed by James Franco: "The British beauty's toothache made filming a nightmare. Franco admits filming the scene was far from enjoyable and had to be cut short when his co-star complained. He says, 'I think we kissed once in that film and it wasn't at all intense - there was no rolling around or anything. Sienna's molar was giving her pain so she called the dentist!'"

Leonardo DiCaprio, Outed by Virginie Ledoyen: "I think Leonardo is a nice guy. But I don't want him as a lover. There [was] no honest passion. No real sensitivity in our love scenes. In our underwater love scenes all I could think of was not drowning. I can't even remember his kiss."

[Photo credits: Getty, Wire Girl, Showbiz Spy, Renee Ashley Baker, NetGlimpse, Wireimage]

• JAMES MCAVOY: KISSING ANGELINA JOLIE WAS 'NOT VERY NICE' [ITW]

Still, Night Watch director Timur Bekmambitov's English-language debut made for refreshing R-rated viewing after this summer's succession of lackluster action fare; even his most garish visual flourishes — particularly McAvoy's keyboard-smashing exploits yielding computer keys and a dislodged tooth spelling "FUCK YOU" in midair — seem more inspired, even heartfelt than their absurd CGI analogs in Indy 4 or The Incredible Hulk. But he can even shock with simplicity, such as a Jolie entrance we're loath to spoil. Then there's a train derailment for the ages, and... oh, fine. We kind of loved it.

We thought it over on the shuttle from the Majestic Crest to the palm-toothed maw of the after-party. Alas, we couldn't get our compliments and maybe a round of Five Questions in with the talent, which was sequestered off-limits from the drunken, unwashed public on Broxton. "Do you have a ticket?" a bouncer asked.

"A ticket for what?" we replied.

"You gotta have a ticket."

"No, but..." we muttered, looking down at our press badge. "What are you talking about?"

"Universal only."

"Do you know who the fuck we are?" we didn't scream, reaching for our phones. Minutes later our publicity contact left us hanging as well (memo to all: "Defamer" is not actually a literal means of coverage), forcing us back to the bar, where we drank away our perfunctory Russian lessons and scrolled a bit of other news to come out of the fest's first day:

—Gigantic Releasing picked up the competition documentary Must Read After My Death — a painstakingly assembled flash back to the '60s, when a "bold family experiment slowly and inexorably descended into a mire of confusion and turmoil, speeded along by a battalion of psychiatrists." A guaranteed laugh riot to start your weekend, Must Read premieres tonight the Landmark.

—Lance Hammer's acclaimed drama Ballast, which was one of the relatively few titles to leave this year's Sundance Film Festival with a distribution deal, opted out of its pact with IFC Films and jumped over to Strand Releasing. "The budget was big enough that it would be hard in the current model to see that money back," Hammer told Variety. "In the old days, when distributors gave a larger minimum guarantee, that would have been a totally different story. Nobody can afford to do that anymore." The parting was "amicable," we hear, which is no fun at all. More cataclysm, please, people!