If Brolin comes off as a good ol’ boy, he’s actually a Hollywood scion, the vigorous sprout of a six-foot-four tree named James Brolin. “My dad is probably one of the handsomest guys ever,” says Brolin. “I was making a joke and I said, ‘If I was a chick, I’d f—- you.’ He was like, ‘You can’t say that! Shut your mouth!’”

While we admire the younger Brolin's candor, we hope he left his paternal fixation at the palatial Streisand residence instead of bringing it onto the set of W. The audience appetite for two more hours of George W. Bush may be further diluted by a scene in which W., high on peyote and aroused by a marathon session of brush-clearing at his Crawford ranch, places a late-night, naughty call to his father, whispering, "How'd you like to make a preemptive strike against my Fruit of the Looms, Poppy?"

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Josh Brolin [W]

Boomp3.com

Righteous Kill star Al Pacino spent a majority of his Labor Day weekend camping out to be the first line for the annual Malibu chili cook off. Attending the cook off has become an essential part of Pacino's transition from the summer to the fall. Pacino said, "I spend all day basking in the cool breeze off the Pacific Ocean while enjoying some of the finest chili Malibu has to offer. Did you know that James Brolin makes a terrific chili? He does. Talk about your 'hooo-aaaah' moments. Must be the cumin."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.