<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, jack sparrow]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, jack sparrow]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/jacksparrow http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/jacksparrow <![CDATA[From Chimpan-A To Chimpan-Z]]> · There is no denying that chimpanzees have a proud tradition of cinematic excellence. From BJ And The Bear to Project X, the little rapscallions have earned their place as our favorite animal actors (especially since the bear species has proven themselves to be less than reliable). But as rad as it was when those chimps drove airplanes with Matty Broderick, it doesn't hold a candle to the utter domination of this little chimp playing Jenga on Japanese television. Yes, we said Jenga! [YouTube via AOTS]
· If you are offended by the sight of Robert Downey in blackface in Tropic Thunder, wait til you get a load of an overweight Japanese guy in blackface pretending to be Stevie Wonder in this bizarre tribute to "We Are The World." [Gheorge: The Blog]
· In what will certainly go down as the worst atrocity to happen to the Batman franchise since Joel Schumacher got kicked to the curb, we are disappointed to report that The Dark Knight's got milk. [FilmDrunk]
· "Here’s a napkin someone wrote on for me: 'I will give you a blow job on your break, so sexy! Kim—714-XXX-XXXX.' I would also get offers from women in my ear: 'Anything you want, just find me.' I had a girl who had turned 18 the day before. She was with a high school group, and she wrote down her room number at the Downtown Disney hotel. I had a lady hump my leg one day in the park." Excerpts from Charlie Sheen's post-Denise diary? Nope. Just a day in the life of a Disneyland Jack Sparrow. [LA Mag]
· We're not quite sure exactly why every episode of Twin Peaks is available on CBS.com — considering the show aired on ABC — but that doesn't mean that we're not grateful. How's Annie? [CBS.com via Thighs Wide Shut]

]]> http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5011514&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Rampaging Chewbacca Arrested For Act Of Wookie-On-Tour-Guide Violence]]>

The peace of the Hollywood Eden represented by the area in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre, that idyllic commune where seekers from around the globe gather to connect themselves to the show business continuum by placing their hands inside concrete indentations left by performers both living and dead, was momentarily shattered yesterday, when an aggressively panhandling faux-Chewbacca crashed his skull into the head of a brave tour guide disturbed by the renegade Wookie's attempt to perpetuate the kind of Polaroid-proffering extortion police are eager to expunge from the city. Reports the LAT:

Police said that 6-foot-4 street performer was seen arguing with a 32-year-old Star Line Tours tour guide, who had expressed concern that the wookie impersonator was "harassing and touching tourists" in violation of the city law.

The security guards, who work for the Hollywood Business Improvement District, escorted him off theater property. But police said Young, like the Empire, decided to strike back.

"Chewbacca head-butted the tour guide," Vernon said. "Security guards saw it and ended up detaining him."

A police source said that a performer dressed as Superman witnessed the assault and was interviewed by police. He was not identified.

Lest you believe that only Fake Superman was brave enough to decry the outlaw Wookie's actions, we direct you to the video accompanying this local news story on the incident, in which Vaguely Disappointed Spider-Man, Mumble-Mouthed Scream Guy, Incomprehensible Pinhead (most damning quote: "MMMMGGG BRRRG KKTTFFGN!!!"), and Unconvincing Jack Sparrow all have their say, doing their part to defend their slice of the Boulevard from the likes of this scofflaw, head-butting interloper.

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