<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, jack bauer]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, jack bauer]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/jackbauer http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/jackbauer <![CDATA[Fox Buying Carbon Offsets For 24 Car Crashes]]> Existing to arouse torture-happy conservatives, 24 is going green to stop damaging the world the show is trying to protect. This could be a new plot twist: Jack Bauer realizes the global terrorist is himself.

Fox hired a group of consultants to measure how much carbon-dioxide is released from the production of the television show, including the spectacular car chases and crashes, so they can buy offsets. They're also using B20 biodiesel fuel in trucks and generators and paying more for wind and solar power. How much does 12 hours of 24 release? Approximately 1,291 tons of carbon-dioxide.

Though the message won't be a large part of the actual show, we like the idea of Jack Bauer torturing someone in an environmentally friendly way like, maybe, making someone listen to the An Inconvenient Truth soundtrack repeatedly.

[Photo: Fox, via NYTimes]

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<![CDATA[Kiefer Sutherland is Back as Jack Bauer In ... '22'?]]> There are few things in this world that can thwart 24's Jack Bauer — few things, that is, besides a WGA strike and an untimely stint in the Glendale City Jail. Forced to postpone the premiere of 24's seventh season from January 2008 to January 2009, Fox promised a make-good for tortured fans in the form of an additional two-hour prequel, set to air this November. Now, though, it's looking like those two hours are going to come out of the next season's twenty-four. Prequel costar Robert Carlyle gave Premiere the scoop:

Is the movie sticking to the TV show's real-time format?

It is. This two hours is two hours in real time and there'll then be 22 episodes. I don't know how they connect it to the first of those 22 episodes but it's literally the third hour...

So it will lead straight into the new series?

Yeah.

Though last season's 24 might have been better off as 16, Kiefer-starved fans will no doubt take this news poorly (to say nothing of the Mary Lynn Rajskub message boards!). Rest assured, though, producers are working overtime to provide even more twists and turns to make up for the season's two lost episodes. Spoiler alert: the Christmas tree was behind it all!

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<![CDATA[Don't You Think Jack Bauer Deserves To Get The New iPhone A Few Weeks Early?]]>

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Mirrors star Kiefer Sutherland and gal pal Siobhan Bonnouvrier attempted to flex their star power muscle at a New York area Apple Store over the weekend. After talking with the store's manager for quite a lengthy time, Sutherland was unable to get his hand on the soon to be release iPhone 3G. Bonnouvrier asked the manager if he knew whom they were dealing and if he's been enjoying all the freedom that Jack Bauer has provided over the last seven years. The manager replied, "I'd gladly give a phone to one of The Lost Boys, but we don't have any yet. My hands are tied on this one." Sutherland asked if he could use the excuse that it's a matter of national security to get the phone, but the manager shrugged his shoulders and said that he could sell them one of the first generation phones and that was about it. Sutherland and his girlfriend left the store while stating that it wasn't over between them yet and that the next time will be personal.

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

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<![CDATA[So, You Don't Like The Outfit I Bought You?]]>

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In a Forgetting Sarah Marshall inspired moment of honesty, Kiefer Sutherland told his girlfriend, Siobhan Bonnouvrier, that he doesn't care that much for the clothing she picks out for him. Sutherland told his gal pal that he's far more comfortable in a V-Neck from American Apparel than the giant scarves the 24 star has been forced to wear lately. She quickly corrected him, explaining that there's a BIG difference between a scarf and a pashmina. Sutherland started to remove the pashmina and said, "Well, whatever it is, I don't like it and it's spring so why I am even wearing it?"

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

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<![CDATA[Listen, Jack Bauer Doesn't Hold Hands With Just Anybody, Babe]]>

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TV's Kiefer Sutherland shied away from even the very faintest sign of PDA while in New York City's Meatpacking district this morning. Sutherland seemed far too concerned with the commotion in the building across the way, wondering if he would have to be called into some 'neck snapping' action. In addition, Sutherland remarked to the mystery woman, "How can I hold your hand AND smoke my cigarette AND carry my umbrella all at the same time?"

[Photo Credit: INF]

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