We thought at first that Pitt looked a little aged as Basterds' Lt. Aldo Raine; maybe not Benjamin Button-aged, but certainly more distinguished than the frosted flake he portrayed last month in Burn After Reading or the sandaled hero sure to follow in his forthcoming The Odyssey. It's most likely just us, though, perhaps having missed the stage direction in Tarantino's bootlegged script that called for "a tall, brooding Jew, Abercrombie-coiffed, and boasting the weathered visage of one top-secret orphan-hunt too many." Either way, wake us up when Cloris arrives.

• First Look At 'Inglourious' Brad Pitt [Empire via /Film]

The 26th and final name listed in the cast? None other than Dancing with the Stars comeback queen Cloris Leachman, who will hopefully revive the German accent that has served her so well in both Young Frankenstein and Broken Lizard's Beerfest. Sure, sure, we're also excited that Goodbye Lenin's Daniel Brühl has been confirmed (he's our bet to succeed Gael Garcia Bernal as the next hot foreign import) and that Mélanie Laurent has been announced as female lead Shoshanna, but let's face it: all other news pales in comparison to the Cloris. Quentin, we eagerly look forward to her paso doble/Batusi dance scene — don't let us down!

Germany's DFFF film fund gives automatic tax breaks for local shoots and Bastards is set to shoot almost entirely in Studio Babelsberg outside Berlin.

"I don't see how it should not be eligible for DFFF money," said Kirsten Niehuus, director of the Berlin-Brandenburg regional film fund.

Producers the Weinstein Co. declined comment but sources near the shoot said the controversy has had no effect on Tarantino or the German talent connected to the film, which includes Til Schweiger, Daniel Bruhl, Christoph Waltz and Diane Kruger.

"Most in the German industry love it that Tarantino's in Berlin," one insider said. "They love it that this kind of popcorn film is getting made here."

Got it, Harvey — thanks! Anyway, while we know it's slightly oversimplifying to suggest that the Nazis absolved their dignity by fighting on Adolf Hitler's behalf, let's just consider the tax credits a good-faith gesture toward the continued postwar rebuilding effort — and then call it good, OK? We promise we'll remember you guys when the dollar bounces back. Feel better yet?

• 'Bastards' portrayals draw fire in Germany [THR]

Myers joins an ensemble that already includes Brad Pitt, Eli Roth and B.J. Novak, nudging the project ever closer to the unmarketable territory where Tarantino and Harvey Weinstein seem to flourish together. Moreover, we didn't expect Myers to do another non-comedy so soon after The Love Guru; that Halloween remake we pegged him for was something we presumed was at least a few years off, or at least well after Austin Powers 4. But when even Deepak Chopra is hating on you, some gambles are just more necessary than others. Good luck, Mike!

• Mike Myers enlists in 'Bastards' [Variety]

• Relax, Everybody! Quentin Tarantino Will Probably Not Save Mike Myers’s Career [Vulture]

Naturally this crimps our hope that richer-than-ever Lionsgate might buy the WWII action drama for Tyler Perry to star and direct, but we figure it's nothing an 11th-hour appeal can't resolve in our favor. Either that, or maybe Spike Jonze takes a mulligan with Warner Bros. and tries his whimsical wares in the war genre. We'd take anything at this point if it came with a green light and an actual, filmed movie at the end of it.

• Universal eyes Tarantino's 'Bastards' [Variety via /Film]

boomp3.com

After the Tuesday night Coldplay concert in Inglewood, the maybe star of Inglorious Bastards Leonardo DiCaprio tried to make a quick exit. Unfortunately for DiCaprio, assortments of photographers were ready to greet him by his luxury car. Like a man whose just been caught cheating, DiCaprio reluctantly admitted that he likes Coldplay, but only "about this much."

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

The best part, though? According to reports (excerpted after the jump) the Weinsteins are actually paying Showtime to air their product:

[I]n an unusual twist, the indie distributor apparently will make an advance "bonus" payment of as much as $100 million to the pay cable channel.

As in other pay TV deals, Showtime would parcel out payments to the Weinsteins according to the performance of the various films at the domestic boxoffice — minus the prepayment, which is essentially a discount on the amount Showtime will owe the supplier.

Declining to discuss the financial terms of the deal, the Weinstein Co. co-chief Harvey Weinstein called the suggestion of a prepayment clause "rumor and innuendo" but added that in his opinion, the deal is "a game-changer" for his company.

The only game we see changing is Showtime's, which blew off Paramount, Lionsgate and MGM (the Weinsteins' original cable partner) demands three months ago and which, before yesterday, didn't have a theatrical output deal in place. That it achieved not only that, but got the distributor to pay for it, thus underwriting a good chunk of the original programming it needs to keep its carriers happy? That's awesome.

Granted, it's TWC — the $100 million is widely perceived as insurance against the day when Matt Blank's hotline to Harvey bounces back with an automated disconnection message. And regardless of whether or not Harvey pulls out the big '08-'09 he's planning — Gawker's analysis seems to suggest otherwise — Showtime will need more than Tarantino Oscar bait to fill its slate (its Viacom divorce partner CBS Films is good for roughly 30-40 projects in that time). But as marriages of convenience go, we've seen worse. Anyway, it's hard to resist the idea of the new Showtime as something of a mail-order bride. Best of luck to all!

• Weinstein Co. inks deal with Showtime [THR]

Before you think we're getting too carried away here, let's make it known right away that we don't do this for just anybody; it takes a special kind of affront for us to sit down and hammer out correspondence amid so much more compelling news of the day. (Like have you seen Michael Jackson recently? Holy shit, right?) But like your contemporary Paul Thomas Anderson, who so annoyed us by signing off on a There Will Be Blood DVD skimpy enough to have been a costume in Death Proof, your transgressions seem to require a little more direct attention than those of say, Brett Ratner or Uwe Boll. You're Quentin Tarantino, after all — QT! You stole made Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction! You are a living legend, an artist among artists, and you deserve everything that's coming to you.

Which is why we think it's time to ask you directly: When will you and Harvey Weinstein stop inflating the world's interest in Inglorious Bastards?

Look, it's not like we don't want to see your riff on World War II actioners — your Dirty Dozen, your death-defying, ensemble mission flick. To the contrary, we'll probably be first in line (on the second or third Friday of its release, but whatever), and we'll probably enjoy it. You've always entertained us, and even as your returns diminish, you're one of the few filmmakers on whom we always bestow the benefit of the doubt.

But that benefit does not extend to your pandering on behalf of Inglorious Bastards. We know what you're thinking, and we don't wholly disagree: There's interest in you, and by extension, interest in the project. This much is obvious. So when you showed up in Provincetown last month to receive your "Filmmaker on the Edge" award — the one distributors pay for at festivals when they need some press, and fast — and pimp out your recently finished script, it made sense. That's the game, and you and Harvey have played it expertly (if not always profitably) for years.

We even tolerated you supposedly tipping Anne Thompson around the same time about the script's length and Harvey's patronage. The rest would follow like it always does: You'd get a blank check; recruit some hip, testosterrific cast of A-listers and has-beens; and we'd see you next year at Cannes. Alas, you elided a key point: Harvey isn't paying for it.

No one is, in fact. It'll probably be made, maybe even by your May 2009 deadline. Meanwhile, in a move pulled unusually early from the dogeared Weinstein Textbook, the press is doing your fundraising for you. We'd give you Provincetown if not for the embarrassing leaks that followed this week, one after another — the kickdowns to Nikki Finke ("Quentin Tarantino is talking to Brad Pitt"!) and now this Inglorious Basterds [sic] script over at Vulture, itself the venerated "basterd" offspring of your insolvent patron's public studio-shopping. Mission accomplished, we suppose, if overexposure is what you had in mind. The anonymous media saturation is supposed to come just before the release, not just before the money runs out.

So while we know it's a slow news month, and while we know you've got a deadline, really, QT — is this what it has come to? Is your loyalty to the Weinsteins worth suffocating your work in the crib or pulling the rug out from under your own persona? We always knew you loved exploitation, but come on. Dump those chumps and reclaim a little pride; you deserve it. And if you determine you don't, fine. Just quit bringing us down with you.

Love,

Defamer

[Photo Credit: AFP]

But Quentin Tarntino's Inglorious Bastards, which as recently as two weeks ago was to receive the last blank check in Harvey's account, is apparently also in the market for a backer. And not just a co-producer — the Weinstein s and Lawrence Bender have that part under control — but an actual studio with actual money, writes Nikki Finke:

[O]ne of the ways that The Weinstein Co attracted investors was by hyping its creative connection to the Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill 1 & 2 writer/director who has long made a lot of money for a lot of people. But now only Harv, and not his investors, could potentially profit from the connection? Unreal. ... I hear it's gone out to Universal, Warner Bros., Paramount ... and Sony.

Right. Listen, guys — "Paramount Pictures Presents a film by Quentin Tarantino" is the worst-sounding eight-word phrase to hit Hollywood since "You like me! You really, really like me!" Even if trash day is currently the most newsworthy thing happening at TWC HQ, there must be a solution out there. Can't Harvey sell off a few of his Tonys or something? Or even his Oscar; as long as he sticks to co-producing, Scott Rudin can always buy him another one down the line. Hit Craigslist or something, seriously. Think outside the box!

• Weinstein Co. does double duty [Variety]

• Quentin Tarantino Unveils Inglorious Bastards [DHD]

With Inglorious Bastards he will be making his first period film. But he said: "I don't want it to feel like a period film. I want it to feel current.

"I want it to feel right now. One of the things I have to battle against is 30 years of Nazi-occupation TV movies where we've all seen the big streets and the vintage cars and the Swastikas, and we've just seen that ad nauseum.

"This is a modern, in-your-face movie. This is not a TV movie period piece."

We'll wait and see how he works his beloved foot fetish into prison-camp ordeals and battallion warfare, but our primary hope is that Tarantino's self-imposed Cannes '09 deadline for Bastards' premiere falls within the statute of limitations for a smackdown from his old pal Spike Lee. Any combination of the two — e.g. "The trenches weren't no plantation, and the brothers weren't down there shrimping, neither" — would be an added bonus sent straight from feud heaven.

[Photo Credit: AFP]

• Tarantino Finishes Inglorious Bastards [Thompson on Hollywood]

• Tarantino relief at finishing project [BBC]