1.) He had sex with his daughter when she was 17 years old.


2.) He didn't consider this rape, but rather, "making love."


3.) He continued to have sex with his daughter for a decade.


4.) He suggested he and his daughter live as man and wife.


5.) He might have gotten his daughter pregnant.


6.) He taught his 10-year-old child how to roll joints, then made her the official joint-roller.


7.) He taught his teenager how to tie-off and shot her up for the first time.


8.) He reinforced negative behavior.


9.) He gave terrible advice.


10.) He didn't do such a great job with his other kids either.

The book publisher for Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia Brady on the 1970s sitcom "The Brady Bunch," is shooting down rumors that she had a lesbian on-set affair with co-star Eve Plumb, who played her younger sister Jan.

"We are verifying that it is not true," said Debbie Styer, senior vice president of group publicity at William Morrow, the book's publisher. "The real story of what happened in [McCormick's] life and behind the scenes of the show will all come out when the book comes out."

• Lesbian Bradys? Publisher Denies Report [abcnews.go.com]

[Maureen] McCormick's tell-all, Here's the Story, won't hit bookstores until 2008, but publishers are already buzzing about the big reveal. [...]

A source tells The National Enquirer, "The most explosive comments will be how the then blonde, blue-eyed cutie developed a crush on Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play.

"This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual hijinks going on behind the scenes.

This news came as a complete shock, and we have since been replaying Brady moments over in our heads, wondering if the truth had been staring us in the face all along. One thing is for certain: Jan's cries of, "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!" now take on ominous new implications. We can only hope the disturbing Brady revelations end here, and Peter isn't compelled to share deeply repressed memories involving his father, the garage, and a basketball pump that would lead him many years later into the reassuring arms of a slightly deranged reality TV model-search winner.

• 'Brady Bunch' Star Reveals All About Lesbian Fling with TV Sister [Hollywood.com]

The number of taboo combinations suggested by the iconic 3x3 grid is seemingly infinite, from Bobby and Cindy's mutual sexual awakening, to frustrated middle-child Jan hate-fucking her more popular sister Marcia, to the everyone-on-Alice, "pork chopsh n' apple shaush" scenario we've so often returned to in our deepest, most forbidden Brady fantasies.

• Bradys XXX [Fleshbot]
• Not The Bradys XXX [MySpace]