Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

A Jackman sequel had been much hoped for by the Oscar community. After two decades of firing every weapon imaginable at TV audiences in hopes of stemming the ratings slide, Jackman was the first thing that worked, giving last year's show a minor uptick — which is far better than a major downtick. After many attempts to young the show up (Chris Rock, Jon Stewart) to get wacky (Whoopi, Ellen) or to play down the middle comic shtick (Billy Crystal, Steve Martin) it turned out that what audiences wanted was a big-toothed song and dance man to bring in some champagne-like class.

The Academy's announcement of a couple weeks back that they would be replace Bill Condon, the show's not-available this year director, with Adam Shankman, another musical veteran, signaled an intent to stay the course. But without Jackman, the hunt will be on for another for of that rare, dying breed of Hollywood good-looking, above-the-fray, theater-y leading men.

The spotlight now turns to Neil Patrick Harris who has won hosannas as host of the Emmys and Tony awards and is the only obvious choice to fill Jackman's particular shoes. But will the king of all awards shows really be willing to take Emmy's hand-me-downs? They've done it before with Ellen, but twice starts to get embarrassing. Particularly when your leading competition, The Globes, has just booked the most buzzworthy host of any show in years — Ricky Gervais.

Throughout the years, Hollywood has whispered about the Oscar curse which seems to strike down many a winner's career after they take home the trophy. But shouldn't we wonder whether the curse applies to Oscar itself?

• Everyone loves Neil Patrick Harris. And how could they not? He came out singing cabaret and danced away with our undying love. Not that he didn't have it before. After this evening's turn as the show's host, we're pretty sure Harris should master the ceremonies of every Hollywood event ever. (By the way, Mediaite has the lyrics from the introductory number. Learn them. Live them. Love them.)
  
  
• Kristin Chenoweth will soon be the hardest working woman in Hollywood. The adorable actress — once known mostly to the Broadway crowd — stole the nation's heart by crying after winning best supporting actress for Pushing Daisies. The show's been canceled and Chenoweth, bless her, reminded the world that she needs a job: "I'm unemployed now, so I'd like to be on Mad Men. I also like The Office and 24."
  
  
• Tina Fey fans are upset that Toni Collette won the "best comedy actress" award for United States of Tara, which we actually enjoy. Well, Jeff Jarvis is upset, at least: the journalist and internet aficionado twittered, "best comedy actress was a crime." But, whatever, because Fey won for her SNL Sarah Palin impersonation.
  
  
• In other-SNL news, Justin Timberlake took home a trophy for his "Dick in a Box" routine. But that was announced last week, so hopefully you knew that.
  
  
• Sure, Fey didn't win, but that doesn't mean the Academy doesn't still love 30 Rock: the incredibly popular show won "best comedy series" and Alec Baldwin walked away with a "best actor" statuette. That's his second, for the record.
  
  
• Speaking of seconds: Mad Men again won "best drama series" and best writing for a drama series. Does this mean the show will continue to be a popular culture darling? Not if you ask Matthew Greenberg from True Slant — he thinks the consecutive win will alienate those who don't already watch it, because they'll think it's elitist.
  
  
• If Greenberg's right, there could also be a backlash against Glenn Close: the Damages star once again won for "best actress" in a drama series.
  
  
• Comedy Central's no doubt pleased with Jon Stewart and the Daily Show crew: they won "best writing" for a comedy, variety, etc series. And, yes, Stewart commended Neil's hosting abilities. He also made a joke about going backstage to watch football, which was competing on another network and became the butt of many tiresome jokes.
  
  
• LA Times writer Tom O'Neil has crowned Bill Maher the biggest Emmy loser in history because Maher, whose show was nominated in the aforementioned variety category, has lost 22 times over the course of his career.
  
  
• Remember how we said Harris should host everything? He may have some competition from Hugh Jackman, who won for original music for his Oscar dance routine.
  
  
• Hey, did you know Sarah McLachlan's still around? And she's still singing "I Will Remember You." While, yes, we should take a moment to recognize the departed — Bea Arthur! — certainly there's a less maudlin, predictable soundtrack.
  
  
• And on that note, here's a list of the winners.

Every review I've read on Star Trek so far, and I think I've read five altogether, not to mention countless blog posts, Tweets and Tumblrs, has been nothing less than a collective circle jerk for this film. Is there anyone out there who saw it and thought that it sucked, or was at least mediocre?!

Well, in some ways it's both. The Oscars aren't exactly the "one billion people are watching!" extravaganza of eyeballs they used to be, at least not in this country. Ratings for the telecast have sunk to precipitous lows in recent years, and all of the glitz and tomfoolery is increasingly being dismissed as cheesy indulgence by irony-fattened 21st century mindsets. But of course there is still the rabid faction of fans who lap up everything Academy Awards, mainly gays and the ladies who love them. So why not, ABC might have figured when hiring Hugh Jackman to host and Dreamgirls director Bill Condon as the man behind the scenes, just go for the gusto and gay the thing up. Support and satisfy the base and let the rest fall away like so much else in these belt-tightening times. The Oscars will be the Tonys, only slightly relevant!

So that might be part of the reason why Queen Latifah did her best Big, Black Broadway Lady and Hugh got some help from Beyoncé and the fagtastic Zac Efron to declare the musical alive and kicking, while the Swarovski bejeweled curtain thing hovered overhead like a murder of gay angels. But also, maybe (hopefully), the show just seems gayer these days because Hollywood has actually been pretty gay all along, it's just only recently that folks can be out loud n' proud about it. Sure Milk didn't win all the awards it should have, but that pretty pretty princess who wrote the script got to have his pretty pretty day on stage and say heartfelt, pretty pretty things about Why Gays Are Good. And the Academy voters forsook the opportunity to reward Mickey Rourke with a "we're friends again, k?" comeback award, which is their favorite thing to do ever, and instead gave it to the loudly political and difficult Sean Penn for playing a big loud homo. Hollywood is maybe, finally, thawing from the long, cold anti-gay nuclear winter that it self-defeatingly put itself in all those years ago when movies started being made.

Of course Milk's victories could be chalked up to a fitful, hand-wringing apology for Prop 8 and the sour Brokeback Mountain defeat of yesteryear. But still, it's progress. It's now actually a bad thing to be mean to gay people for being gay! Now if we could only start bestowing prizes upon movies and performances that highlight gay folks who aren't dying of AIDS or gunshots or like living in a concentration camp or something, we'll really be nearing the end of the woods. But that wouldn't be very Oscars, I suppose.

And as for Hugh and the singing and the dancing, well it's fun. But it didn't feel quite right. Not yet at least. Maybe let's try it again next year, work out the kinks. Maybe then everyone will feel OK about the fact that Hollywood and the Academy Awards were never really the rough and tumble stuff of faux-masculine cinema everyone pretended they were, at least not an inch below the surface. Down there lurked the costume designers and the set decorators and the writers and the fretful, closeted actors and every other fabulous fairy who helped cobble these pictures together. That those hardworking souls are finally getting the silly glitzy show they deserve is only fair. I just wish Cary Grant were around to enjoy it.

Image via Getty

Slumdog Millionaire dominated as expected, an international sweep in a night studded with British, Indian and Australian wins. Not that there was much danger of nationalist unity within Hollywood; host Hugh Jackman managed to work some surprisingly vicious showbiz digs into the show, including lines from Steve Martin and Tina Fey not-so-subtly mocking Scientology and Ben Stiller's unsparing imitation of Joaquin Phoenix.

There were some misfires, like the lengthy nominee tributes involving top stars giving overlong, wedding-toast-style speeches for each contender in top categories like Best Actor and Actress. But there were also more memorable moments than any viewer had a right to expect. The best:

10. Franco and Rogen turn the Reader into stoner comedy

"Their giggling and guffawing at The Reader is somehow more damning (and more exposing of the film's overweening pomposity) than a thousand bad reviews." —Guardian. (OK, sure, but Kate Winslet's little gold man begs to disagree about the Reader.)

9. Angelina Jolie grins big at Jennifer Aniston

You just had to cut to Jolie during Aniston's animation award presentation, didn't you, ABC? OK, so we secretly enjoyed the shot of the Brad Pitt-stealer's wide grin, but that's not the point.

8. Philippe Petit's statuette-balancing magic trick

The star of Best Documentary Man on the Wire was making a naked bid to become the stuntman for all future Academy Award ceremonies. We're all for it, as long as the Frenchman returns each year with his charming white scarf.

7. Host Hugh Jackman: "The Musical Is Back"

Is it? Because some of us felt like we were stuck on the lido deck of a cruise. Including Penelope Cruz, judging by her arched eyebrows at the close of the biggest number.

6. Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix

Oscar presenters don't normally go after their own. Stiller did. His deadpan, unmistakable imitation of Phoenix's notorious performance on David Letternan is as good a sign as any that Phoenix, who has declared himself retired from acting, is now being as much pushed out of the Hollywood community as leaving it.

5. Tina Fey and Steve Martin's Scientology dig

Or maybe they were talking about some other "made up" religion involving an alien king scattering seeds across the Earth to "fuel our positive transfers." But you don't have to be a Clear to know that's unlikely. (Though this is the best bit, Fey and Martin's overall routine was excellent. As was their rapport.)

4. Heath Ledger's family accepts his award

The late Dark Knight actor received a touching tribute from his father, mother and eager sister. But what happened to the mother of his child, Michelle Williams? She wasn't even mentioned.

3. Kate Winslet's whistle

The Englishwoman's Best Actress win was widely expected; her sweet call-and-response with her father was not.

2. Dustin Lance Black on gay rights: "God does love you."

The Mormon-raised Milk screenwriter once found inspiration and emotional sustenance in California. With his heartfelt message to "gay and lesbian kids," Black returned the favor.

1. Sean Penn: "You Commie, homo-loving sons of guns."

Accepting for Best Actor, Penn killed. The tightly-wound actor was charmingly self-deprecating. And his cutting comments on California's gay marriage ban, which came near the end of the Oscar telecast, provided the perfect bookend for Black's statements, near the start.

The Jonas Brothers have about as much in common with the Oscars as Joe Jonas has in common with being a gentleman. He claims that he wears a purity ring to remind him not to do anything that wouldn't make his mom proud. Just tell that to 25-second-phone call dumpee Taylor Swift.

Anne Hathaway dug deep in her interview to find a way to describe her Brokeback Mountain co-star Heath Ledger. He was so ... uh ... what's the word...

Mickey Rourke stayed in Oscar campaign mode and opened up on just how fucking much he wants that goddamn Oscar tonight. And he promises not to sexually molest the golden bald man.

All Walters wants to ask your song-y dance-y Oscar host Hugh Jackman is whether he's gay. But with a montage of his Broadway work opening the segment, she totally stacks the deck against him.

Jackman is willing to do anything to convince her that he's totally into women.

In this video that was "leaked" yesterday by the show's producers, Hugh Jackman talks about how hard he's working and why it's so very important to not make an ass out of yourself. And you get a glimpse of some of the numbers the show's producers — Bill Condon and and Laurence Mark, who last collaborated on the film version of Dreamgirls — have come up with. So, yes, not much of a mystery that the show will borrow a lot from Broadway.

More mysterious? Who is Youtube user "saremac" who's hosting the video? Probably a production lackey who's working on the show, but we really, really hope that this other clip on their page has served as inspiration for at least one Jackman number.

· 30-second ad spots on the final episode of ER — featuring George Clooney, Noah Wyle and Anthony Edwards — are going for the low, low price of $425,000. We'll take two.
· The existential crises of Garfield Without Garfield have felt uniquely harrowing this week. At least add Odie back in or something.
· Flaxen-haired Jared Leto is out and about at this weekend's Oscar festivities. Consider yourself warned.
· ZOMG Google Earth found Atlantis! Maybe? Never mind.

From a CNN interview:

CNN: How daring is it going to be? Will there be YouTube moments where people will be talking about the Oscars this year after it happens?

Jackman: One of my favorite moments at the Oscars was when the streaker came across David Niven. And we're upping it a level and we're just going to do most of the show naked. Um, well, there hopefully will be YouTube moments.

CNN: "The sexiest man alive" [is] going to be up there nude?

Jackman: Drunk and nude, yes. So that's our new fresh approach. It's the Australian way.

Another secret: The typical bathroom-break category Best Animated Short will be the breathtaking showstopper of the evening, when Jackman introduces each nominee employing his hidden skills as a masterly puppeteer of the penis. And yes, it will be projected on a giant LCD screen.

• Hugh Jackman ready to be 'drunk and nude' at the Oscars [CNN]

Revelations of golden Snuggies and Oscar-branded slippers were not among those forthcoming today from the rookie Oscar host; think more along the lines of Jack Nicholson falling asleep in a recliner before presenter Amy Adams nudges him awake with her foot — from the podium:

The look of the theater is very different. It's more like the nightclub of your dreams. It's very intimate. ... It's got to be a lot closer. It's been a little austere in the past. You know, there's that stage, the host being up above the stalls, looking down at everybody. ... But this is a lot more intimate. It's still spectacular, being in the Kodak Theatre. But it's a real difference in the way things are laid out.

So you know what this means: No Oscar cannons, just the A-listers passing the craft awards back through the crowd to winners who'll shout their acceptance speech until the 20-piece orchestra onstage drowns them out with big-band adaptations of themes from Slumdog Millionaire and The Dark Knight. And you can break out your blow right there in your seat. What did we miss?

• Hugh Jackman plans for 'intimate' Oscars [AP]

After a botched press tour, a less-than-rapturous box office take, and a tarring of director Baz Luhrmann as the new "black hole of cinema" (to say nothing of the bounty set on Kidman's ovaries), most of the film's principal players would be content to lay low and make no more noise until Australia begins its DVD afterlife. An insecure Kidman, however, only added more fuel to the bonfire when she confessed that she typically doesn't watch her own films, and being forced to sit through Australia made her "squirm."

Miss Kidman, who attended the premiere with country singer husband Keith Urban, said: 'I can't look at this movie and be proud of what I've done.

'I sat there and I looked at Keith and went "Am I any good in this movie?"

'But I thought Brandon Walters (an 11-year-old Aboriginal boy) and Hugh Jackman were wonderful.

'It's just impossible for me to connect to it emotionally at all.'

Fortunately for Kidman, she only has one more of her upcoming performances to sit through: Nine, in which the Weinstein Co's breakthrough advances in crotch-veil technology can be expanded upon to produce a private version where Daniel Day-Lewis, Judi Dench, and Fergie interact with a six-foot-tall, Botoxed sheath.

• 'I squirmed in my seat,' says Nicole Kidman as she reveals embarrassment at her performance in Australia epic [Daily Mail]

It's a shame that Robert Downey Jr. is locked into franchise properties until roughly the year 2015, as the now-bankable actor possesses both the singing ability and proven "what the hell" track record for Cleo. And since Soderbergh will need a trim, youthful Marc Anthony to balance out Ray Winstone's Julius Caesar, we imagine that stipulation may clash with the "no diets" rider of 30 Odd Foot of Grunts frontman Russell Crowe.

Thus, Soderbergh may want to consider making a more unconventional choice (an unlikely route for a filmmaker making a 3-D, Guided by Voices-penned musical, we're aware). Why not choose between singing rivals Jamie Foxx and Terrence Howard—one self-enamored, the other "as soft as doctor's cotton"? Can we interest you in either Conchord? Or does the role of Marc Anthony call for the boyish looks and "not entirely present" personality of a David Archuleta?

Oh, who are we kidding. Johnny Depp and Ewan McGregor, call your agents—it's time to go down swinging and singing!

• Hugh Jackman off 'Cleo' wishlist [Variety]

In conjunction with the release of his audience-participatory biopic Che, the Independent quizzed Soderbergh about other famous historical figures portrayed in film. When they brought up the Elizabeth Taylor version of Cleopatra, though, Soderbergh spilled on exactly what he's got in store for his stars:

All I can think of when I watch Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra is, 'Well, it's brave!' She's got both feet in. When you look at what she has to say and what she has to wear and the sets she has to walk around in, again the fact that she kept a straight face during all that, that's a testament to her fortitude. God, I hope we can recreate some of those crazy-ass costumes. Our version [of the Cleopatra story] will be like an Elvis musical in 3-D. It's a total rock'n'roll, 1966 aesthetic – like Viva Las Vegas meets Tommy. I've wanted my whole career to make a musical. And the 3-D makes it more challenging but makes it more fun. Based on the way I want to shoot it, I think it's going to really pay off. But our treatment of her is pretty modern, let's say."

We admire Soderbergh's daring; the moviegoing populace has recently rejected both Jackman and Jackman-toplined musicals, so it takes a special brand of visionary to note, "But those weren't in 3-D!" If the director is looking for some more A-list talent with experience in glossy Hollywood sing-alongs, might we suggest Fergie's labia? We hear the mysterious new ingenue brought out some of Daniel Day Lewis's best work, and is currently looking to go solo.

• Che way: Steven Soderbergh on how to play a famous historical character [The Independent via Movie City News]

No, Australians are up in arms because Kidman played the didgeridoo on some wacky German talk show, which women are forbidden to do in many parts of the country (apparently, souvenir shops have special exemptions). Truly, though, this clip of Kidman and Hugh Jackman on Wetten, dass..? is both an amazing extension of Kidman's Awkwardness '08 talk show tour and a surreal masterpiece that can rival the stateside display of our nation's vice president-elect stoning and drowning TV's Elaine Benes under the stewardship of a famous lesbian. Watch as Kidman sits there, having no idea what the hell anyone is saying, eventually realizing that they want her to humiliate herself on-screen. What follows, we imagine, is something akin to how David Lynch might interpret the wedding night between Kidman and Tom Cruise: lots of giggling, tentative blowing, and an uncomfortable man in a three-piece suit dancing on one foot. [The Age]

Or does it? The X-Men series has always crackled with homoerotic subtext, and in its battle between Jackman's hero and Liev Schreiber's Sabretooth, Wolverine adds a titanic clash of warring, super-powerful bears not seen since the beer bust ended far too early at Faultline. Oh, and there's also Gambit, Ryan Reynolds, and what we think is a young version of Halle Berry's Storm. It looks as dark as we'd been promised, though we suppose there's always time for Fox head Tom Rothman to add a CGI Anna Paquin swinging through some vines.

• X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ Movie Trailer Debuts Online: Gambit, Sabretooth And More Logan [MTV]

"Hugh Jackman is a consummate entertainer and an internationally renowned movie star," said producers [Laurence] Mark and [Bill] Condon in a joint statement. "He also has style, elegance and a sense of occasion. Hugh is the ideal choice to host a celebration of the year's movies and to have fun doing it."

Suddenly we're really hoping The Dark Knight gets a Best Picture nomination. We don't know why—we just think something really bat-fabulous could be in store.

Rather, they chose perhaps our most safely logical candidate: Hugh Jackman—whose larger-than-life talent has already proven itself capable of carrying musclebearish mutant adventures, flashy Broadway bio-musicals, and sweeping historical romances with equal facility.

But is he ready to tackle the toughest gig in the 'biz? Oscar hosting once famously turned David Letterman into a babbling, vowel-sounding incoherent, and led Chris Rock to inadvertently incite a sound mixer/sound editor turf war that resulted in several completely inaudible seat-filler shootings.

The Academy seems to think he is, but Jackman wants to be reassured he won't have to deliver any Russell Crowe fat jokes shoved into his hands by Bruce Vilanch moments before he takes the stage. Deadline Hollywood Daily reports:

The people around Jackman want to know exactly what would be expected of him, especially when it comes to opening the Oscar broadcast. One segment of the show which reps for Jackman are objecting to specifically is the joke-telling monologue. "I don't want that for him," an insider told me. "He is an actor with big movies behind him and one coming this summer. He didn't work the last 20 years to suddenly be a stand-up comedian.

Not that there's anything wrong with stand-up comics, mind you—but, you know. They're by and large unsavory types who douse themselves in L'eau de desperation before pushing up their blazer sleeves and hitting the spotlit stool. That's not Jackman, and befits not the Sexiest Man Alive.

We leave you now with his legendary performance at the 2004 Tonys.

• OSCARS WANT HUGH JACKMAN TO HOST: He'll Accept If Academy Show "Different" [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

WHAT'S NEW: Speaking of recipes, Four Christmases sure has a fresh one! Mix Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn. Add two cups of diced ensemble players including Robrt Duvall, Jon Favreau, Kristin Chenoweth and Sissy Spacek. Flavor with ball-kicking, pratfall and baby-vomit jokes. Bake for two hours. Serve lukewarm. It's good for about $40 million over five days. Transporter 2 is a little simpler hors d'oeurve for the guys out there, with Jason Statham liberally seasoned with bullets, quick cuts and decibels, turning out $18 million before the main course on DVD.

But if you're allergic to the multiplex, you may be best best suited to skip ahead to this week's new home video releases; the art-house kitchen appears to be closed to deliveries for the holiday weekend.

THE BIG LOSER: Australia is almost three hours' worth of the expansive (and expensive, at $130 million) hisorical epic no one makes anymore. And despite Oprah Winfrey's lavish endorsement, there's a reason for that: It's one in a generation that actually finds any traction in the two female quadrants whose repeat viewings push it toward box-office longevity and, almost necessarily, Oscar luster. Fox needs half a Titanic here (thus its Hugh Jackman heartthrob push at non-starter Nicole Kidman's expense) to make this work, and for the sake of the studio and director Baz Luhrmann and all involved, we hope they get it. But the middling, $26 million reality — especially on Twilight's likely second week at No. 1 — is what it is.

THE UNDERDOG: Instant-message quibbles aside, Milk is far and away the best thing opening this weekend; expect sell-outs and a per-screen average of at least $39,000 in 17 markets. (It opens wide Dec. 12.)

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD's include Will Smith's brooding hero Hancock, the summer champs Meet Dave and Space Chimps, more Vaughn holiday frolic in Fred Claus, the TV knockoffs A Colbert Christmas and 24: Redemption, and just in time for the holidays/white-elephant gift exchange, Beverly Hills 90210: The Complete Sixth Season.

So will your Turkey Day food coma overlap into moviegoing? Is it more of a football-and-shopping weekend, or will the budgie-smuggling pull of Australia be just too challenging to withstand? In any event, have a fantastic holiday, and should you brave Space Chimps, please let us know what we're missing.