Gawker: defamer, hostel

The Death of 'Austin Powers' (And Six More Hobbled Franchises Worth Putting Down)

STV — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:00:00 EDT

After the unfortunate reception for The Love Guru, it's just too easy to write off New Line's prospective Austin Powers revival (which Mike Myers is reportedly working on for New Line with former series collaborator Mike McCullers) as yet another ill-advised folly belching the black smoke of Myers's career. In fact, taken as merely a part of the larger phenomenon we at Defamer like to call The End of Ideas, the Powers franchise is but a speck of the shit on Hollywood's collective bathroom wall — a tableau diligently studied today by the haz-mat crew at Entertainment Weekly.

We're pretty sure the inclusion of Powers in their list of 14 franchises to kill was a serendipitous fluke (it's actually pegged to The Mummy 3 and includes Indiana Jones and Friday the 13th as well), but Wednesday's revival news nevertheless reinforced the urgency of euthanizing bad ideas before they can strike again. And why stop at 14? As long as we have the ax out, we might as well finish the job with another half-dozen after the jump.

·Beverly Hills Cop: Sure, we summoned a bit of cautious optimism when we first heard about BHC 4. But word that franchise heir Brett Ratner wants a PG-13 and Eddie Murphy's continued commitment to mediocrity has us second-guessing. Kill it.

·Star Wars: Nothing short of George Lucas encased in carbonite will likely stop his molesty corruption of a galaxy far, far away. But a blog can dream. Kill it.

· Transformers: Wait — never mind! Thanks, Shia.

· Spider-Man: Heresy? Maybe. But if Sam Raimi is more preoccupied with spinoffs and Jack Ryan than Sony's multi-billion empire, just accept the sign. Kill it first, before Joel Schumacher hijacks it.

· Hostel: How much would it cost us to have the pleasure of snuffing this ourselves in a dank Eastern European abattoir? We'll get the money, like, yesterday. Kill it — slowly.

· The Lost Boys: Not a franchise so much as a misbegotten, Haim-wounding attempt at brand-milking, bound to get worse before it gets better. Kill it.

Running on Empty: 14 Movie Franchises We Think Should Stop [EW]

Lionsgate Hits $340 Million Credit Jackpot; We Help Them Spend It

STV — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:00:00 EDT

We have all kinds of fun ideas for how Lionsgate can splurge with its new $340 million credit line, a kind of shocking development considering Wall Street's recent exodus from the deadly film-financing racket. The budget-minded 'Gate, having leapfrogged from one genre hit to another (accruing a $331 million cash war chest along the way, according to Variety) is evidently immune to the crunch, however, even nabbing a 2.25% interest rate we haven't seen since our very first student loans.

This is more money than any patron of Tyler Perry and Eli Roth really needs, in fact, unless it has some larger scheme in mind for world domination. After the jump, join us in hypothesizing some of the best — if not likeliest — uses for Lionsgate's extraordinary windfall. After all, it's a buyer's market!

·Tyler Perry's Inglorious Bastards. Let's face it, Perry's got more juice than Tarantino at this point, and Sgt. Madea promises to be as complex a hero as anyone in Tarantino's script.

·A $200 million Hostel installment featuring actual mercy killings of drunken ex-child stars and other bereft D-listers.

·Launch its own line of Crash- and Saw-themed greeting cards.

·Buy the Los Angeles Dodgers and sign disgruntled Manny Ramirez.

·Buy The Weinstein Company. (And still have $300 million left over.)

Sky's the limit — any suggestions?

Lionsgate taps $340 mil credit [Variety]

Larry H. Miller On Brokeback Ban: Talk To My Fists

Seth — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 12:21:44 EST

Brokeback Mountain is still riding high in the saddle since its Golden Globes triumph, but don't expect the accolades to sway Larry H. Miller, the Utah Jazz and movie theater chain owner who caused an international controversy for pulling the movie at the very last minute from his multiplex, no explanation offered. Towleroad notes that when a radio reporter approached him for a comment as he was entering a hotel ballroom to deliver a speech at the (irony alert) local NAACP's annual Martin Luther King luncheon, a pissy Miller slapped the microphone away, saying "I said everything I had to say when I pulled the movie. Okay? Anything else you want to know?" The entire exchange was caught on video. Meanwhile, it's business at usual at Miller's Sandy Megaplex theater, where you can catch six screenings a day of a ball-gagged Jay Hernandez exploring the outer recesses of his pain threshold in Hostel.

Bigot Larry Miller Still in the Hot Seat [Towleroad]
Larry Miller gets physical [Crooks and Liars]
Previously: NBA Owner Larry Miller Not Jazzed About Brokeback [Defamer]