The last we left the sprawling space opera that is SAG Wars, rebel leader Doug Allen had been overthrown by his own men, replaced by senior adviser John McGuire as chief negotiator. Saddest SAG Prez in the Universe Alan Rosenberg then mounted an unsuccessful legal bid to prevent the moderate mutineers from resuming talks with the evil producing overlords of the AMPTP. Over Justine Bateman's tweeted objections, new talks were set for this week. They were supposed to settle everything.

They settled nothing.

[T]he majors and the Screen Actors Guild broke off three days of talks late Thursday with the congloms issuing a take-it-or-leave-it "last, best and final" offer.

The talks fell apart over SAG's insistence that a new feature-primetime deal had to expire on June 30, 2011 - meaning that the deal would last only two years and three months.

For its part, the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers insisted that the new deal has to last a full three years. And the congloms also announced their new offer could be withdrawn in 60 days.

The deal fell apart over a matter of nine months, or the difference between beginning the contract when the last one expired (what the actors want), or starting it from right now (what the producers want). SAG's concern is that the new expiration date will put them too far away from the expiration of the new WGA and DGA contracts in 2012, which could weaken them strategically come time to negotiate again. The producers wouldn't budge, but offered to begin negotiations for their next contract (ooh fun! More negotiations!) early enough to get them back in sync with the other unions. SAG has two months to accept the offer, which seems to us a ridiculous long window, during which continued internecine fighting could reduce their membership to a bloody pile of random limbs. Perhaps that's the idea.

As always, the winner here is AFTRA, who are dominating 50 of the 70-plus broadcast pilots ordered this season—a shift that pushes the industry further into the realm of digital production. (AFTRA contracts specify actors cannot perform on film.) Warm up the Thesbot. The end is nigh.

• SAG talks break down [Variety]
• Smaller actors union takes center stage for pilots [THR]

Both earned the scorn of the writers they betrayed, but at least Ellen made some gesture of solidarity by foregoing the monologue entirely. Leno, on the other hand—being the very giant-chinned embodiment of American can-do spirit—simply pushed up his blazer sleeves and wrote his monologues himself.

Being a WGA member, however, this was a direct violation of Guild guidelines, eliciting this terse wrist-slapping from the union: "A discussion took place today between Jay Leno and the Writers Guild to clarify to him that writing for The Tonight Show constitutes a violation of the Guilds' strike rules."

Now, one year later, the WGA is still peeved enough to be mulling a disciplinary action against Leno for peddling his stash of strictly contraband Dick Cheney and L.A. weather jokes. Variety reports:

It's understood that the guild has brought disciplinary proceedings against Leno, who is a Writers Guild of America member and writer for his NBC latenighter. The specifics of the proceedings are unclear, but the process should come to a head soon. [...]

That discipline may include "expulsion or suspension from guild membership, imposition of monetary fines or censure," according to the WGA's strike rules. There is also an appeals process.

We suspect this is more symbolic gesture than disciplinary measure—a premonitory, three-day-old carp wrapped in newsprint and left on the hood of one of Leno's old-timey gangster cars, as if to say, "Congratulations on the 10 p.m. strip, Leno. Now keep our guilded gag writers knee-deep in Funny Headlines, or Stuttering John sleeps with the fishes."

• WGA may discipline Jay Leno [Variety]

A 10-person squad led by senior adviser John McGuire will meet with AMPTP reps a week from today, replacing twice-fired SAG national executive director Doug Allen and reigniting talks after weeks of stop-and-go litigation on Allen's behalf. Rosenberg's helpless Membership First contingent wasted no time scolding the insurrectionists in a statement, questioning McGuire's "experience, knowledge or determination" and insisting that "our actions are not arbitrary or selfish. [...] We are not just fighting for today. We are fighting to protect every actors' ability to make a middle-class living today and in the future." Neither McGuire nor his associates responded, though we're guessing he'd say something similar? Just a hunch. Developing...

• SAG talks to resume on Feb. 17 [Variety]

• SAG deal already faces opposition [Variety]

Judge James Chalfant needed one hour to rebuff Rosenberg and his curious counselor Eric George, whose original petition for a temporary restraining order halting renewed contract talks was rejected Tuesday on account of "errors" in the documentation. The only errors today were apparently legal ones the judge blew off before adjourning; George is expected to make an unprecedented, last-ditch, "But my client's life sucks" appeal in the weeks ahead.

• Judge denies Rosenberg's request [Variety]

THR Esq. passes along word that the embattled SAG president recruited attorney Eric George to lead his ugly courtroom battle for union control. And why not? George has counseled no less than George W. Bush, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Utah senator Orrin Hatch through various legal straits, even working on ex-Justice Department lawyer John Yoo's behalf when a former terror suspect sued him for legal opinions allegedly authorizing torture.

Brilliant move, Rosenberg. Justine Bateman is going to feel so betrayed.

• Wait...Alan Rosenberg Hired Who? [THR Esq.]

Rosenberg revealed late Monday that he wanted to temporarily stop the union's resumed contract negotiations with the major studios, at least until he could get fired pal and Doug Allen restored to his post as chief negotiator. The downside: Rosenberg had to take his own union to court, hoping that a judge would grant his last-ditch plea for a restraining order squelching talks. What a guy.

However, the AP reports that the judge, James Chalfant, hours ago rebuffed Rosenberg after "noting several errors and ordered Rosenberg's attorneys to amend the claim." The report does not specify the aggreived president's errors, though we imagine it had something to do with its consistent pitchiness and lyrical abstraction. Another hearing is set for Thursday morning; Rosenberg will have it down by then.

• Judge blocks bid to stop SAG talks [AP]

Still wiped out in the aftermath of Doug Allen's dismissal and amid other general fractures around the union, Rosenberg yesterday invited Sharon Waxman over to his house for an interview and impromptu open-mic night. And when his repertoire of SAG-centric protest ballads ran dry, he turned inward for a candid, harrowing encore:

“My life sucks,” Rosenberg, the president of the Screen Actors Guild, acknowledged. “Here I am – my partner was fired. I’m muzzled. It’s certainly disappointing. I’ve seen all my hard work of the past three and a half years amounting to nothing. The liars and manipulators have won.” [...]

“Yeah, I’m angry,” he said. “Sad. Disappointed. The last two days I feel sort of isolated. I’m shut out from planning meetings. I feel isolated from the operations of the union.”

And that's not even counting his recent split from Marg Helgenberger, which probably has its own concept album nascently kicking around in the dark quarters of his creative mind. Here's hoping an iTunes page or — if we're really ambitious — one of those standing Largo gigs might be in the offing when he's done with this whole industry-wrecking business. We're hooked!

• 'My life sucks,' says SAG president [The Wrap]

• Rosenberg Sings the Blues [YouTube]

Not so, argue SAG reps via henchwoman Nikki Finke, who insists that no vote has yet been cast to remove Allen from the guild's flailing negotiations with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. Merely a technicality, according to Variety; the board's moderates reportedly have the votes — and moreover the inclination — to pass a resolution nudging Allen, SAG's national executive director, out of contract talks and effectively ending the militant wing's hopes to call for a strike authorization this week. Worsening matters for that Membership First minority, it was one of their own, Seymour Cassel, who broke the news of Allen's ouster to the trades.

His replacement? Your guess is as good as ours; Tom O'Neil seems an enthusiastic, actor-friendly fence-mender with little to do these days. Suggestions?

• SAG's Doug Allen out as negotiator [Variety]

• http://www.link.com">No Vote Yet To Oust SAG's Doug Allen [DHD]

The moderates among SAG leadership — "mostly those repping New York and the regional branches," notes Variety — were already irritated having to attend today's meeting in person, during which the union's negotiating committee expects to determine the fates of the Jan. 14 vote and national executive director Doug Allen. And neither looks good — not with the economy tanking, popular sentiment against a strike and last week's fantastic inside smear campaign against anti-strike SAG Award nominees including Josh Brolin, Steve Carell, Susan Sarandon, Kevin Spacey and Alec Baldwin.

SAG president Alan Rosenberg half-heartedly condemned the blacklist, which was distributed by way of an anonymous e-mail traced back to national board member Frances Fisher:

"If I were a regular, ordinary, not-rich-and-famous actor, and if I wanted my union to be strong so it could fight for me ... would I want to give any of these rich-and-famous union-underminers my vote? [...] Would I want my union to give them such an honor — my union's ultimate stamp-of-approval? I would remember those names when I began to mark my ballot."

What? And lose a precious potential opportunity for another Josh Brolin speech before awards season ends? Fools.

• SAG considers ending strike threat [Variety]

• SAG leaders in emergency meeting [Variety]

Above we have the far A-listier (plus Seann William Scott) Nay faction, ornamenting a festive, nonsecular Reasonability Shrub.

If those on your mailing list are of Yesish heritage, however, you can instead send them this delightful symbol of the Festival of New Media Residual Rights—commemorating an ancient miracle, when a community of out-of-work actors survived for eight days on one serving of Ramen.

• SAG stars taking sides [Variety]
• West Coast SAG members hear leaders' pitch [THR]
• SAG Nominates Baldwin, Brolin, and Other Mutineers [VF]

From Deadline Hollywood Daily (a Nikki Exclusive™!):

"With all the uncertainty surrounding the stalled negotiations with SAG, TCFTV is indeed considering shooting its spring pilots under the AFTRA agreement. As for shows already in production, we are exploring every option including transitioning shows from SAG to AFTRA."

This sounds to us like something dictated to a secretary by News Corp. COO/AMPTP bigwig Peter Chernin, followed by, "And cut out all the 'shitfaces' and parts where I say I'd like to slice off their stupid actor-heads and fuck their windpipes, will you?" Still, every threat in these critical times must be taken seriously. Squeezing SAG out of the picture altogether for 2009 pilots would be an easy enough option (and attractive—AFTRA pays less), but it would violate terms for existing series. There are loopholes to that scenario, however, as one DHD commenter explains:

If SAG shows cannot be converted they will be put on hiatus and replaced by AFTRA pilots turned series quickly. AFTRA intiations for a whole cast would be 20 to 40 grand which could be easily paid by the studios as a signing bonus. Sure some SAG actors could refuse to take the roles, but the lines to fill them will be long and new talent could thrive...I really don’t see this as being limited to Fox either as there is I hear rumblings from the WB lots as well.

Sure, it's a stretch to ask audiences to swallow some of their favorite shows as reconfigured pilots, but we think SAG should take heed: There's no reason to think the public won't be just as enthralled by NBC's new hit series Adventures of Earl, the Karmic-Retribution-Seeking Ne'er Do Well, cast entirely with American Idol rejectees who didn't realize their registration sheets automatically enrolled them in AFTRA.

UDPATE: AFTRA responds:

1) Fox has been a long term AFTRA signatory, historically producing both dramatic and non-dramatic programming under AFTRA’s TV Contract for decades. For example, “Married with Children”, the program which historians now describe as the show that built the Fox Network, was produced under the AFTRA TV Code. There are countless other scripted programs from "Arrested Development" to "The Bernie Mac Show" to "Roc" and others produced under AFTRA contracts during Fox’s history. As such, the fact that Fox is producing programs under AFTRA contracts is not unusual; indeed, it is consistent with the long history of this Company’s signatory relationship with AFTRA and consistent with the historic ebb and flow of coverage between the two unions as technology has shifted over time.

2) It is more expensive for Fox to produce scripted programming under the AFTRA TV Contract. Prior to July 1, 2008, the rates terms and conditions of the AFTRA TV Contract for Prime Time scripted programs were identical in every way to the SAG TV Contract. As of July 1, 2008, the AFTRA rates have been increased as a result of the membership’s ratification of the new Prime Time “Exhibit A” terms. The inference that Fox is somehow saving money by producing under AFTRA’s Prime Time Contract is incorrect.

And, finally, 3) AFTRA has been absolutely clear and explicit, long before the question of a potential strike by our sister union was contemplated, that a program already established under one union cannot be “converted” or “transferred” to another union. AFTRA is a chartered union of the AFL-CIO, and a member of the Associated Actors and Artistes of America (the Four A’s). As such, the rules and obligations of both the AFL-CIO and the Four A’s would prohibit such a “transfer.” In addition, even if there were no such restrictions under the rules of our parent organizations, it wouldn’t matter. Simply stated, AFTRA would never participate in such a practice. Fox Labor Relations is very well aware of this.

Guess that puts Adventures of Earl, the Karmic-Retribution-Seeking Ne'er Do Well on ice for the time being.

[Illustration: Comitragic Bollocks, c.2008 Defamer]

• EXCLUSIVE: 20th TV May Shoot Spring Pilots Under AFTRA And Transition Existing SAG Shows To AFTRA [DHD]

Eyewitness reports from last night's SAG Town Hall meeting in New York confirmed that the union's coastal factions still loathe each other, with Alec Baldwin calling for the replacement of LA's negotiating committee and the more rank-and-file — roughly 300 of whom were squeezed into a meeting room the size of Alan Rosenberg's garage — calling for their president's resignation between taunts of leadership as "'liars' 'deceptors,' 'inepts,' 'AFTRA bashers,' 'Hollywood centrics,' and 'insensitive to concerns of NY brethren.'"

In fairness to Rosenberg and executive director Doug Allen, though, there's no time to coddle New York when yesterday's A-List mutiny requires more immediate, thoughtful response like the one issued by Allen:

We received the e-mail below earlier today from a group of SAG members regarding the upcoming strike authorization vote. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those who signed on have not attended informational meetings and have not taken the opportunity to learn the facts directly from Screen Actors Guild. Clearly, the AMPTP's rhetoric has had the desired effect.

"Learn the facts"? As in, the recession's over? Now is a good time for 120,000 people to walk off their jobs? Well! Good to know. Seriously, Clooney, get educated! Next meeting is Wednesday in LA — we expect a full report later this week.

• SAG's NYC Town Hall: "Vocal & Brutal" [DHD]

• SAG's Allen Responds To 'Vote No' Stars [DHD]

The letter echoes the more moderate tack previously taken by Clooney and others, with 130 signatories suggesting that continued negotiation and — sooner than later — a settlement with the studios would be preferable to nudging the film industry into a fiery, recession-era cataclysm:

We feel very strongly that SAG members should not vote to authorize a strike at this time. We don't think that an authorization can be looked at as merely a bargaining tool. It must be looked at as what it is — an agreement to strike if negotiations fail.

We support our union and we support the issues we're fighting for, but we do not believe in all good conscience that now is the time to be putting people out of work.

None of our friends in the other unions are truly happy with the deals they made in their negotiations. Three years from now all the union contracts will be up again at roughly the same time. At that point if we plan and work together with our sister unions we will have incredible leverage.

As hard as it may be to wait those three years under an imperfect agreement, we believe this is what we must do. We think that a public statement should be made by SAG recognizing that although this is not a deal we want, it is simply not a time when our union wants to have any part in creating more economic hardship while so many people are already suffering.

Endorsees include Hanks, Clooney and fellow A-listers Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren, Diane Keaton, Alec Baldwin and Kevin Spacey — and none of the notorious Olive Garden Star Chamber (including Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep and Warren Beatty) who've been rumored to support the strike-authorization movement. A few other notable absences include Ben Affleck (whose wife Jennifer Garner and BFF Matt Damon both signed), Hanks's spouse Rita Wilson, and Michael Douglas, who is probably just worried that he'll never get his residuals if he rocks the boat. We'd probably play it the same way, even if it meant not aligning ourselves with the likes of Bruce Boxleitner.

Anyway, the tribal warfare is on! Call your shots below.

• SAG: Over 130 Stars Against Strike [Digital Media Law]

If the Guild can coax 75% of them to approve, the actors could be walking off the job — and paralyzing Hollywood — by the end of January. We'll know the vote results on January 23, conveniently in the middle of awards season and one month before the Oscar ceremony on Feb. 22. Beyond the date-circling and surely some pants-pissing at the Academy, little else emerged today beyond the standard-issue invective: SAG boss Alan Rosenberg released a statement saying, "A yes vote sends a strong message that we are serious about fending off rollbacks and getting what is fair for actors in new media"; the studios barked in reply, "It's now official: SAG members are going to be asked to bail out a failed negotiating strategy by going on strike during one of the worst economic crises in history."

Our opinion remains unchanged, meanwhile: We'll see you in the bomb shelter.

• SAG could strike by end of January [Variety]

First, there was the mushroom cloud hanging over Burbank, as Jeff Zucker announced NBC would be scaling back production of hours of original programming, then proceeded to shitcan about everyone except Ben Silverman, before triumphantly revealing his amply-chinned endgame: Keeping Jay Leno in the NBC fold by giving him a five-night-a-week show ("Keep doing what you're doing," went the pitch") in the 10 p.m. slot.

It was a Dick Wolf-coronary-inducing coup that—despite the mildly unpleasant side-effect of completely fucking over Conan O'Brien and reducing the number of hours of scripted NBC entertainment to 10 per week—might one day be heralded as a brilliant triumph. Or a complete fucking disaster.

Who's the biggest loser you can think of? As much as your reflexive instinct is to shout the name "Jimmy Fallon!" in response to that question, we're afraid that's not the case. His new, third hour of NBC's late-night lineup "premiered," as such, last night on the web. Color us asleep—but in the new, improved, all-late-night NBC landscape, any dude with a band-leader and a desk is safe.

No, the biggest loser of course would be SAG members, who called an emergency town hall at the Harmony Gold last night in which, Deadline Hollywood Daily reports, "99% of those who spoke were exceedingly supportive and said 'Yes, we need a strike authorization vote.'"

As the Hot Blog points out, the 10 p.m. slot was the only slot not yet infested by shows featuring obese families dutifully weighing-in or Howie Mandel narrating the gripping selection of numbered-briefcases. Even if the strike didn't happen—and that's looking less and less likely—the announcement of Jay's new strip would give AFTRA a two-hour lead on NBC's primetime programming: 12 hours vs. SAG's 10. Further, were the strike to go through, dual SAG-AFTRA members would be required to go to work under the terms of the AFTRA agreement.

We suppose that makes AFTRA the second-biggest winner here, after NBC. (We're not calling that one for Leno merely for the fact that he's an unknown primetime quantity, and could rapidly lose him momentum once his audience moves beyond "married couples looking for an excuse to avoid sex.") Second-biggest loser, meanwhile, goes to late show bookers. Happy feeding frenzy for the one actor who actually has a project debuting, guys!

"Like it's our fault," he added. "As middle-income actors, we are the victims of corporate greed. We didn't cause this turmoil."

Thankfully he refrained from likening the actors' plight to those of "Native Americans, whose goodwill and loyal service was also raped and pillaged by the first producers to step off of the Mayflower and onto our shores." The producers, meanwhile, responded with an ad in today's LAT, in which they pointed out that they've managed to close deals with every other guild in this town—including the DGA, WGA, IATSE, AFTRA, and the LCSP, or Legion of Craft Services Providers. It went on:

"SAG is demanding that the entire industry literally throw out all of its hard work because it believes it deserves more than the 230,000 other working people in the business...To comply with SAG's demands would mean SAG merits more than everyone else. Saying yes would jeopardize the trust we have so carefully established with the rest of the industry — at a time when this industry needs stability to ensure that together, we effectively evolve with shifting consumer demand."

We couldn't agree more. With both sides. Equally. Look—just fix this already, OK? If a black man can become president, you can find common ground in the handling of royalties from the sale of films and TV distributed through new media methods. Failure to do so will result, quite simply, in three little words that will all but surely usher in the impending apocalypse: More Rosie Live.

• SAG, studios launch PR offensives [Variety]

A more formal strike authorization will be sought from SAG's 120,000 members in the weeks ahead, but as Sharon Waxman hinted late Monday, when Hollywood royalty gathers secretly to help drop-kick the industry into another winter of chaos, what's really left to vote on?

They met in the private room of an Italian restaurant, like in a scene from one of the Godfather movies: Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep, Nick Nolte, Annette Bening — about 20 of Hollywood’s great stars from the past 30 years. ... These top stars were called together last month by Screen Actors Guild president Alan Rosenberg to give the thumbs up – or thumbs down – on a strike, according to one person who was present, speaking on condition of anonymity.

They were given slips of paper to write down their views as to how or why a strike should or should not occur. Their verdict, according to my source: the guild should move toward a strike.

A spokeswoman for SAG said that the guild has had frequent meetings with high-profile actors to discuss a possible strike. "We have met with high profile actors on sets and elsewhere to discuss various issues throughout our negotiations," said Pam Greenwalt. "We do not publicize the meetings nor do we release details."

We've seen them choose sides before and imagine their allegiances/practices haven't shifted much since then. Still, secret meetings? Italian restaurants? Slips of paper? This easily calls for a whole new set of SAG Strike Apocalypse MadLibs™.

UPDATE, 11/26: Nikki Finke soundly triumphed in her industry-gossip rematch with Waxman, following up with a report exposing the meeting as a fabrication. Waxman has retracted her story. Anyone up for a Watchmen tussle for these two after the holidays?

• FAMOUS STARS GIVE THUMBS UP TO STRIKE IN SECRET MEETING [WaxWord]