<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, hollywood+holiday+cards]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, hollywood+holiday+cards]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/hollywoodholidaycards http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/hollywoodholidaycards <![CDATA[Ashton Kutcher Offers Christmas Greetings As Destitute, Drunk, Reindeer-Humping Santa Claus]]>
In easily his most nuanced, touching performance since the revelatory scene in Dude, Where's My Car? in which the actor's face slowly twists into a mask of devastation and confusion as he realizes his beloved vehicle is indeed missing, Ashton Kutcher, in a video "holiday card" for his Katalyst Films production company, movingly portrays a Santa Claus beset by the acrimonious breakdown of talks with an unreasonable Elf Guild and a coordinated walkout by his trusted team of reindeer.

Though Claus, after enjoying a goodbye buggering of Rudolph (played with lusty relish by real-life sexual partner Demi Moore), briefly must suffer the indignity of taking an internship within Katalyst, the jolly icon does eventually get his obligatory happy ending. This is, after all, a Christmas greeting; watching a down-on-his-luck Santa succumb to a more realistic Hollywood fate—a crack addiction, a stint on Santa Monica Boulevard turning tricks in Mrs. Claus's clothes— would be far too depressing a prospect as we all head off to our holiday vacations. Enjoy.

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