As Var reported back in February, Swank is co-producing and starring as Amelia Earhart, first female pilot to fly across the Atlantic, in Mira Nair's Amelia. Filming began in Toronto two months ago, and despite both Cinemablend and Cinematical expressing their disapproval of Swank's appearance in stills released from the set, we doubt Swank cares very much whether or not she looks like "a total mess," "Corky from Life Goes On," or "a very special person." [Ed. Note — Way to take the high road there, CinemaBlend. Retard jokes? Really?] After all, as the Hiller-Pierson Correlation taught us, Uglification + biopic + strong female role = Oscar gold.

[Photo credits: Splash, Cinemablend]

• WHO DOES HILARY SWANK LOOK LIKE WITH THIS NEW HAIRCUT? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

The Accused: The Superficial
The Crime: Calling a woman who does not meet some predetermined and subjective ideal of femininity a man and generally criticizing her looks.
The Evidence: "Here's a shot of Fergie in the Bahamas over the weekend. While I often publicly question her gender, I will admit that maybe kind of sort of Josh Duhamel doesn't entirely hate his penis after bedding this body. At least until he looks at Fergie's face, then there's lots of weeping and cursing. Mostly at God for being 'such a fucking asshole douchebag trickster to create this manner of creature. Oh, you want to go again, baby? Shit, I'm only human. Say, would you mind wearing the pillow case this time? I mean, it is my birthday. Heart you.'" Oh, you're attracted to her, so she MUST be a woman, huh? What does it matter what she looks like? And why does your opinion matter? And why are you even writing this crap? Oh, it's right there in the title, Superficial.
The Sentence: Whipworm infestation.

The Accused: TMZ
The Crime: Calling women men; mocking them in a gallery.
The Evidence: "Dude Looks Like a Lady ... Wait, That is a Lady!" Pictures of Rosie O'Donnell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Hilary Swank, Michelle Rodriguez, Kathleen Turner, Kathy Griffin and Julie Andrews. You know TMZ is owned by AOL now, you'd think they'd class up their act a little, and not publish sexist misogynistic posts in the name of humor.
The Sentence: Ringworm, which is not a worm but a fungus. Don't say you didn't learn something new today!

The Accused: WWTDD?
The Crime: Critiquing a woman's body and insinuating that she is large.
The Evidence: "The female body is not the type of thing we usually talk about here - I don't think that kind of discussion is very classy - and I don't feel scandalous or unflattering pictures of a celebrity has any place on the internet, but these pictures of Denise Richards are going up because holy shit has she gone to hell. She used to be one of the hottest pieces of ass on earth, and pictures of her tits were every young boys secret bullseye. Now she looks like she's made of donuts. You would think someone with so much gravity could stay on a surfboard that's bigger than the high school I went too, but apparently not. Maybe they can get her someones roof and she can surf on that." Really? Denise Richards has a weight problem? She's a 37-year-old mother of two. It's disgusting that men get away with writing about women like this. Oh, and look: Bally Total Fitness is a sponor of WWTDD. Great.
The Sentence: Infestation by Chinese liver fluke.

The Accused: Yeeeah
The Crime: Implying that a woman is too fat to be seen unclothed.
The Evidence: "I just really like being naked," [says] the American Idolstar. You know how that old saying goes — people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Fortunately, I live in a house of 12% body fat and killer gluts, so I feel comfortable saying that Kelly Clarkson needs to steer clear of the glass market. Of course, the plastic slipcover market and anti-chafing powder-gel market can still be all hers." Wow. Hilarious. Fuck you.
The Sentence: A colony of chiggers that live under and feed on the skin.

The Accused: DListed
Reader-Submitted Crime: Menstruation-mocking.
The Evidence: "Kim Kardashian Wipes The Skank Off: I shouldn't say that. I don't think it's possible for Kim Kardashian to wipe the skank off completely. She would have to remove her skin and that's probably pretty painful. She looks alright without make-up, but I sort of love it when she looks like a tranny call girl. She's suffering from 'period face' here. And I bet that bitch's flow is heaaaaaaavy." The reader says: "I lurve Michael K, but I want to flick him in his balls for this... mostly because I think I have period face today, and I want to hide/die/poursulfuricacidonmydeskfornoreason. Maybe I'm just overreacting." You're not. If you don't menstruate, you have no right to tease those who do.
The Sentence: Bloodletting! With leeches, of course.
Same Defendant, Additional Reader-Submitted Crime: Making light of cutting a woman's clitoris.
The Evidence: She can catch flies with her coochie! Jenna Jameson showed up to Comic Con in New York on Friday looking like she slithered in from the forest. Let's cut off her clit and see if it grows back! Yeah, what clit? That shit probably got destroyed a long ass time ago." The reader says: "I'm sorry, but female genital mutilation Is.Not.Funny." Agreed.
The Sentence: Pubic lice, of course.

10. Julia Roberts, 2001
9. Daryl Hannah, 1988
8. Hilary Swank, 2005

7. Claudia Schiffer, 1995
6. Reese Witherspoon, 2006
5. Angelina Jolie, 2004.

4. Catherine Zeta-Jones, 2004
3. Charlize Theron, 2004
2. Halle Berry, 2003

And our pick for all-time best-dressed, mostly because she looks so comfortable and glam at the same time: Uma Thurman, redeeming herself for ending up on our Worst Dressed List, in 2006.

• OSCARS 08 [Official Site]

· Perhaps hoping that going the biopic route might help her find her way back into the Academy's good graces, directionless two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank agrees to play Amelia Earhart in Mira Nair's Amelia. [Variety]
· Sadly, network abomination The CW and purveyor of scripted, sports-related entertainment The WWE have decided to end their decade-long SmackDown partnership, one that dates back all the way to the bastard netlet's UPN days. [Variety]
· Martin Scorsese selects Bob Marley as the next object of his music-documentary affection, but has yet to choose the Marley lyric or song that will serve as the project's title. [THR]

In today's episode: Kiefer Sutherland; Clint Eastwood and Zooey Deschanel; Ryan Gosling; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom; Shia LaBeouf; Jason Schwartzman; Laurence Fishburne; Adrian Grenier; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Christina Applegate; Wentworth Miller; Justin Chambers; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Bradley Cooper; T.R. Knight; Tom Verica; Danny Bonaduce; John Hensley; and Danny Pintauro.

· Tues. 1/22, at Vermont in Los Feliz. KIEFER. Freshly sprung, and looking none the worse for all of that laundry duty. He was enjoying an early and relatively sedate dinner with a group of mostly male friends. Well-rested, clean-shaven, non-drinking. What is the world coming to?

· At the Whole Foods on Sepulveda in Sherman Oaks. I was checking out at the register and felt the customer behind me breathing down my neck. I turned to tell him to get out of my personal space when I realized that it was Ed Begley Jr. . That's a lame sighting but moments later he turned to say hello to a passing customer and it was no other than Clint F'n Eastwood. Clint looking good though the sweat pants were up a little high.

· I found myself at the Studio City In-N-Out for lunch today. As I'm getting in line, I spot Ryan Gosling sitting to the left eating a double-double. No, it wasn't protein style. I couldn't tell if he was eating fries, so I couldn't tell you if he's counting carbs. He was scruffy, wearing the non-working actor uniform of a flannel over a wife beater. His lunch date was a normal looking girl- I mean that as a compliment- she wasn't a Hollywood skank or looking like Ryan's fellow ex-Mickey Mouse Clubber Britney. He did most of the talking. An old man wished him luck on an Oscar win. I heard a few girls- they weren't really sure if it was him or not. He wasn't recognizable to most people in the joint. As I ate my double-double, I thought to myself- Brad Renfro and Ryan Gosling- 2 former kid actors , 1 dead, 1 a great actor. Ryan and the lady drove off in her red Chevy Cobalt sedan with Massachusetts plates. LA is great- A double-double is a double-double whether I'm eating it or Ryan Gosling's eating the same hamburger- doesn't matter if you're a movie star or a schlub like me- a double-double is still a double-double. (apologies to Warhol)

· While waiting in the Seattle airport for a return flight to LA last night (1/24), I noticed a pair of super cool boots in the crowd. When I looked up, I realized that they were attached to Hilary Swank. She is much more petite than I had expected and looked great without makeup or fancy clothes.

· Orlando Bloom at the 101 Coffee Shop this morning around 11 am with a few people. He was sitting at a booth facing the crowd - I love when celebs love being seen. No hiding here! Some chicks were chatting him up from the counter.

· 1/23 - On Wednesday morning, Shia LaBeouf stopped into Aroma in Studio City for a coffee. He looked freshly showered with his curly hair slicked back, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers in a retro way without looking like he's trying too hard. Nice.

· Sunday 1-20 at the Fairfax Whole Foods:

Almost collided into Zooey Deschanel in the cosmetics aisle. Very cute despite the Frumpy Boho look.

Then while perusing the soups in the deli section, a small group of small hipsters hailing each other. One of them was Jason Schwartzman looking like a hirsute elf. At the check out, my cashier asked his bagger if that was he, I nodded yes, then (the cashier) proceeded to tell everyone around him that it was Jason. The checker must have just moved to L.A., to be so starstruck. But then when I first moved to L.A., I was pretty excited over Loni Anderson.

· Met my best pal for breakfast today (Thursday, 1/24) at the S&W Country Diner in Culver City when who walks in and perches himself in the cramped corner of the counter by Laurence "Don't call me Larry" Fishburne. He wore a cloth golf jacket that would've looked good on a 74-year-old duffer at Hillcrest Country Club. Spent the whole time chatting on his cell, via a bluetooth. Dude looks completely ordinary in person.

· At the Coffee Table in Silver Lake today (1/15) and saw a scruffy, familiar face. Thought I knew him from some 12-step meetings or somewhere, but then realized it was Adrian Grenier from "Entourage". He was with a pretty blonde girl with indie-rock bangs who at one point was definitely crying. Thought he might be breaking her heart, but later she was smiling, so my friend and I figured it was more like her bird died or something. Oh, and last thing: I nominate Adrian for the new Kiefer. Not for debauchery, but for his Eastside ubiquitousness.

· January 15th at Hollywood hot spot Crimson. Sarah Michelle Gellar all decked out in a beautiful blue dress hanging out in the outside patio enjoying a cigarette with some other beautiful people in her party. Looked like they were celebrating something.

· Thursday, January 24, 4:40-ish

Christina Applegate looking very sad at the 7-11 on the corner of Holloway and La Cienega. Maybe it's because I got the last 1/4 pound Big Bite.

· 1/18/08- Perusing the aisles of dusty overpriced tchochkes in Pasadena's Camden Antiques, I looked up to see Prison Break's Wentworth Miller wandering about. Gay? Straight? Who cares. They guy is smokin' and the only desirable object I wanted to take home.

· saw the ridiculously hot JUSTIN CHAMBERS aka DR. KAREV on GREY'S ANATOMY, yesterday 1/21, on Little Santa Monica. he was walking by Sprinkles Cupcakes, wearing dark brown leather pants (in broad daylight? really?) and movie star sunglasses. he was carrying a pink Juicy Couture shopping bag.

if he wasn't so hot, i'd say he looked a little 'McDouche-y'.

· I spotted Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, and their monkey child at the Hollywood farmer's market this past Sunday. Ridiculously good looking family. Gavin is extremely fuckable in person.

· Bradley Cooper at Hal's at Friday lunch, 1-18-08. JFC. I need lube, now.

· t.r. knight (flocked by 4 very attractive men) at the 4:10 arclight showing of 27 dresses on saturday, 1/19. how cute, supporting the friend. but the movie wasn't that good to see it 2x so does that mean he wasn't invited to the premiere? scandalous.

· Jan 21 - Southwest Flight this morning to Salt Lake City saw Tom Verica. Had glasses (for reading, not for the sun), baseball cap and an iPhone. My kind of man.

· Monday, Jan 14th, Rock n' Roll Ralphs. Danny Bonaduce walked in front of my car, trying desperately to get away from a really pissed off dark-haired lass. I wish I could have stayed for the obviously brewing fight, but the line of cars behind me would not allow it. I haven't seen him since the late eighties, outside a valley bar where he—dressed in full leathers— solemnly mounted a moped and scootered off into the night. Classy.

· just saw matt (John Hensley) getting off a virgin america flight at lax (1/17) while i wait to board the same plane. he's way less tranny looking in person

· Weekend of fun gays — Danny Pintauro (Jonathan from Who's The Boss!!) at Friday night showing of 27 Dresses at Century City. Tiny, plaid shirt, screamed a lot. Also of note, someone totally puked at the Cloverfield showing that afternoon at The Grove. Yay?

· Everything about her is hard: her chiseled jawline, her abs—even her eyes, which can radiate fear and anger with such force, are incapable of softening enough to make her turn as Holly, who is supposed to be klutzy and lovably unfocused, believable. [Chicago Tribune]
· This movie doesn't have enough fresh air to play on Oxygen. Its agenda might be epistolary, but its brain is covered in Post-its. [Boston Globe]

· "Pulling our strings is one thing; taking us for a fool is quite another - the puppet-master must play fair. Which is why P.S. I Love You, adapted from the novel by Cecelia Ahern, is so damned annoying - this sappy thing is a two-hour cheat that never plays fair for a nanosecond." [Globe and Mail]
· "Chick pap. FYI, there's zero chemistry between P.S. I Love You's two commodified headliners." [EW]
· "Has any two-time Oscar winner ever made as many bad movies as Hilary Swank? A protracted piece of schmaltz, "P.S. I Love You" looks like a hand-me-down from Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore." [NY Post]
· "This is a movie that will leave you stunned and stupefied from beginning to end, if you don't head for the exits first." [SF Chronicle]

And a positive one:

· "There are several cringe-worthy set pieces, some involving Mr. Butler and a guitar...yet it charms, however awkwardly." [NY Times]

· Maybe we're a little dead inside, but why can't we make ourselves care about potential Hilary Swank starring vehicles? Even if they involve a "modern day Dracula"? [Variety]
· Fox announces that XZibit, Amanda Peet and Billy Connolly will be in the new X-Files movie, though the obligatory veil of secrecy around the project prevents them from telling us about their roles. [THR]
· VH1randomly selects three members from the Wayans Brothers' talent pool to create "edgy urban comedy" pilot for the network. [THR]

In today's episode: Jason Lee, Giovanni Ribisi, Nate Corddry, BJ Novak, and Rainn Wilson; Hilary Swank; Eddie Murphy, Jessica Alba and Dane Cook; Kiefer Sutherland; Diane Keaton and Ron Popeil; Frances McDormand; Jeanne Tripplehorn; David and Victoria Beckham; Sharon Stone; Donald Faison; Kevin Bacon; Kim Basinger and Slash; Donald Sutherland; Billy Crystal; Keith Urban; Adam Goldberg; Will Arnett; Michael Cera; Christina Ricci; Tim Meadows; Seal and Heidi Klum; Andy Dick; Laura Prepon; Mark McGrath and Bonnie Franklin. In China: Josh Hartnett.

· I'm probably not the first to write in about the arcade fire show at the hollywood bowl on 9/20, but we seemed to be sitting in the special nbc section. giovanni ribisi and jason lee were sitting together nearby, giovanni looking trim and tiny, jason lee rocking the earl mustache. they were smiling a lot and seemed to be there with their ladies. spotted nate corddry of the late, not-too-much-lamented "studio 60" sitting close to bj novak from "the office." bj had a beard and wore a hoodie and seemed to be trying hard not to be recognized, leaving before the show was over with the lights still down. that was a huge contrast to rainn wilson, sitting a few rows behind us, who seemed to be hanging with friends but chatted with every well-wisher who came by to tell him how much they love dwight schrute. he stayed til the end and sang along with every song. as far as we could tell, dwight and ryan the temp did not make contact with each other...

·Arcade Fire at the Hollywood Bowl, 9/20- Rainn Wilson in the box seats. He wouldn't take a picture, but he let a friend and me talk to him for about five minutes. Was wearing a jacket from his new movie "The Rocker." He then proceeded to stand up and rock out during most of the show. Very nice man.

· Just saw Hilary Swank and her CAA boyfriend (I don't know agents & too lazy to research...it's like John Parcheezi or something, right?) enjoying Saturday morning (9/22) brunch at Patrick's Roadhouse in SM. I can report exclusively that she looked very petite and feminine in a royal blue track suit and long hair pulled back for a Sat morning. Really cute, actually.

· Wednesday September 19th, around 10PM.
I saw Eddie Murphy at the "Good Luck Chuck" premiere party at Napa Valley Grille. He was a late joiner to the party—his reserved sign looked different. Anyway, he showed up with 2 guys and 2 pretty young things, all dapperly dressed. Apparently he refused to use the guest bathroom, and instead was escorted to the employee bathroom to do his bizness.
Jessica Alba (looking reaaaaal skinny, with a big ole entourage) and Dane Cook were both there, nice enough, surrounded by hanger ons.
That's all.
Hope that helps.

· Walked into Mr. B in Burbank, escaping a torrential downpour in Burbank, Saturday the 22nd. The bar seats were full of regulars, but I saw a slight, darkly dressed man in a corner booth, on my way to the restroom.

I came back to the table my boyfriend had selected and he said '9 o'clock' ( the corner booth). It was Kiefer Sutherland with a Coke in a bucket and a shot of something brown, intently text messaging on his cell phone. He looked trim and quite handsome.

The regulars were all quite aware of him. One asked for an autograph, which he graciously penned. Another asked for a cell phone pic; again, he obliged. And another offered to buy him a drink, but he kindly explained to the bartender that he was just stopping by for one on his way home from work.

On his way out, he shook many hands. Seemed like he was quite familiar with the place. Did I mention that he looked trim and quite handsome in all black with a trench/raincoat?

· My friend and I decided to take a long lunch in Beverly Hills today and drink some wine on company time. While I also saw an actual celebrity, Diane Keaton (wearing the bowler hat she has on every time I see a picture of her) the real treat of the afternoon was spotting the king of the infomercial. Looking about as I remember, but maybe a little older, was the inventor of the veg-o-matic, the solid flavor injector, the spray paint toupee, and many other modern marvels, Ron Popeil! I know I should be ashamed, but I haven't been so excited in quite some time.

· On Friday I was at Sharkey's on Beverly Blvd (Beverly Hills). I was chatting away with my friend when all of a sudden, right next to me was Frances McDormand. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with the cutest little girl, she is the coolest and was smiling and super friendly to everyone.

· wednesday 9/19: strolled into the newly remodeled joans on third, i
see jeanne tripplehorn — eldest and most wrinkliest of the "big love" sister-wives. she was eating with a man and a young boy and, thankfully, bill paxton's naked posterior was not present.

thursday 9/20: pretty late into our meal at neal fraser's restaurant
grace, around 9:15, the door opens and a silence falls over the room
as victoria beckham enters wearing a very tight, very short black dress. she sits down in the corner with three business-looking people, but then sends one of them to the hostess to get them moved a few tables over. she didn't look nearly as icy or robotic as i'd expected and, dare i say, almost seemed pleasant. about 10 minutes later and with less fanfare, a surprisingly thin david beckham comes strolling in with a sweater/tie combo and sits next to posh. for the rest of the meal, the duo don't seem to talk to each other much. maybe posh is mad that becks is home because of his injury? go play some soccer or something, bro.

saturday 9/22: waiting outside of griddle cafe, a short-haired Sharon stone comes in with her son and cuts to the front, bypassing the mass of peasants waiting outside for a table. she definitely looks her age, but was very involved with her son. later on in the meal, Donald Faison — he of "clueless" and "scrubs" fame — saunters in with his girlfriend.

·Friday 9/21 7 pm. Kevin Bacon, sauntering out of Ammo on Highland, with agent-type, and younger-looking version of Kyra. Mr. Bacon looked not a day older than his Footloose days, but at least his haircut was better.

·Two for one.
Wednesday 10/19 KushiYu in Tarzana
Slash looking GOOD and very un-bloated eating sushi with his family. No one but me knew who he was. He is not letting the 90's die.
Kim Basinger was also there. Looking beautiful but in a bad outfit.

·Sunday September 23 - I saw Donald Sutherland at the Third Street Promenade, walking E. down Arizona. Long, flowing silver hair. Dark sunglasses. Tan-ish suit. No expression, actually sort of zen-like. Just walking at a moderate pace. Just a regular guy on a Sunday afternoon. Happens to have spawned Kiefer. That is all.

·Keith Urban getting off a Vancouver to LAX flight on Sunday, September 23rd. No entourage, very low key. Gave me some pause when he bypassed the waiting town car driver to head straight for the bathroom, but I'm sure it was totally innocent. Seemed very humble and cool.

Billy Crystal dining at Toscana in Brentwood on Monday, September 24th. Looked like he was with his wife and a friend.

· I saw Adam Goldberg at the 3rd Street Trader Joe's on Thurs., Sept. 20. He is in surprisingly good shape, very toned. But tattoos running up and down both arms and a crazy look in his eye. I would cast him as the unibomber in a heartbeat.

·It's been my week of Arrested D cast sightings. I strolled past Will Arnett on Larchmont this past Friday afternoon. Dude is tall — and hot!!

· Finally managed a contemporary sighting; it's usually 70's TV b-listers for me in the valley. Entering the Jamba Juice in WeHo Gateway Friday afternoon (9/21), Superbad's Michael Cera entering with a young bearded guy and a young woman. They exited with their smoothies 10 minutes later while I sat and enjoyed my concoction in the plaza. Wearing a gray wool cap and a reddish hoodie, he looked about 12, chattering away with his friends. Honestly, he barely looked old enough to drive, and totally normal. But then he did play a high school student in the movie.

· 9/23/07- Starbucks in the Target center at Santa Monica and La Brea- there sitting in a corner was little Christina Ricci with what looked like a freshly chopped Vidal Sasoon bob- looked great on her. She was talking to producer Barry Mendel. As I waited for my mocha (yeah, I like mocha's, bite me) I could hear them talking. And I'm pretty sure Barry asked her if she mourns not being able to play a certain type of role b/c of her age. COME ON, Barry, learn yourself some tact!! You don't ask an actress anything related to age— get it together, man! Hopefully, I just misheard him (but I'm really only saying that so the lawyers don't come after me).

· Saw SNL alum and perpetual Ladies Man Tim Meadows ordering pizza on Friday night at Village Pizzeria in Larchmont. It took great strength not to ask him "say, sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?"

· 9/22 - If Seal or Heidi Klum are reading this, I swear I'm not stalking you. If you guys are stalking me, however, you're more than welcome and sorry for boring you. This was the second Sunday in a row I've spotted Seal at the Starbucks on Beverly in Beverly. This time he was with the Mrs. and driving a more family friendly SUV. As I was walking out of Starbucks, I heard a blast of Seal music coming from said SUV and caught Heidi Klum grooving to her hubby's tunes in the passenger seat. The couple, dressed in rock 'n roll cool jeans and t's, walked into Starbucks holding hands. They're hot and look like they genuinely have great times together.

· Spotted Andy Dick on Sunday night (9/23) at Amoeba. Startlingly, he appeared to be wholly sober, and refrained from molesting any random passers-by (that I could see). He was with a cute 20something blonde girl - she seemed normal enough, but must have a screw loose somewhere because, well, she was voluntarily in the company of Andy Dick.

· 9/23 - Laura Prepon, AKA "Donna from That 70s Show", looking blonde and generally very pretty, spotted with two female friends at the Pinkberry in Los Feliz on Vermont. She paid for her friends' yogurts which means her total probably came to $50 or something. How generous of her! And it's not even really yogurt.

·Mark McGrath on the 22nd floor of the Mandalay Bay late on Saturday night Sept 22, or was it early Sunday morning?....walking with a bunch of dudes and a 12 pack of BUD LITE?? Looks like they were post show (Sugar Ray played Saturday night), but I hope they were going someplace where no one minded if the brought their own cans.

· Friday the 21st - While enjoying the weather in Downtown Ventura, Lo and Behold! Bonnie Franklin of One Day at a Time fame! Ms. Ann Romano looks GREAT! "Hey Annie! Where's Schneider!?"

Special Great Wall of China Josh Hartnett Edition:

· I walked the Great Wall on Thursday and spotted Josh Hartnett with two British friends, one male and one female. The girl was dressed in a totally inappropriate tight and short black spandex tank top/skirt one piece thing that had all the Chinese blushing and pointing and commenting all day. She was also constantly taking photos of Josh for which he happily posed. Never photos of all three of them just being friends on the wall but photos just of him striking a pose. I don't think anyone on the wall would have noticed him if not for that. You don't exactly expect to see celebrities in a place like that. At one of the stops where a guard charges you extra to keep walking the wall (very Chinese) Josh and his friends loudly laughed and complained about being ripped off. They were clearly joking because the amount was like 2 dollars each but it seemed more like mockery to the locals and a bit over the top. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a low round scoop neck and a pair of jeans. At some point he wrapped a white t-shirt around his neck like a scarf and he had on Ray Ban Wayfarer shades. He was really nice to anyone who approached him and asked for photos or wanted to chat for a bit. There were only about 5 people who did so and they were British frat boy types. After the hike to the Si Ma Tai section of the wall he sat and had some beer with his friends. There was a lot of talking about deals and agents and dinners and stuff like that. It was all a little surreal for the location but a bit of unexpected fun on a really great day.

In today's episode: Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Kristen Bell, and Edgar Wright; Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver; Vince Vaughn; Hilary Swank and Brad Garrett; Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins; Ryan Gosling; Mary-Kate Olsen; Joey Lauren Adams; Kiefer Sutherland; Kate Bosworth; Matthew Perry; Michael Eisner; Van Hunt; Eva Longoria; Julie Newmar and Judd Nelson; Cheryl Hines; Norm MacDonald; Shane West; Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox; Paul Lieberstein; Fred Armisen; Joel McHale; Rumer Willis; and Sean Preston Federline.

· Aug. 25: Triple sighting at Saturday night's screening of so-bad-it's-awesomely-good The Room (www.theroommovie.com) at Sunset 5, and writer-director-star Tommy Wiseau was, sadly, not one of them. Standing behind me to purchase a ticket was a Superbad, bearded Jonah Hill with a bulking camera tucked under his arm...not sure what for?? Once inside, Jonah was joined by Paul Rudd (wearing a green shirt) and Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell. They all sat together behind my posse and did their best slinging witty comments and insults at the screen. At one point Rudd quipped: "Shhhh! I'm trying to watch the movie!" which drew many a laugh. Not bad for a newbie, but we totally owned that shit. "You are my rose, you are my rose, you are my rose..."

· Saturday, 8/25: The Sunset-5 monthly gala screening of "The Room." First of the star-studded flock to make an appearance: Jonah Hill of Superbad, followed by the likes of Kristen Bell, Edgar Wright, and Paul Rudd- a showcase of exquisite taste.

· Last night (8/24) was eating with some friends at Tradanoi in Malibu and sitting outside on the patio at the big table was the Governator and his wife Skeletor, yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. They were with 12 other folks and were celebrating a friend's birthday (I could tell you who it was but that would reveal the political dork in me). He was wearing a brown leather jacket. She had on a pretty dress. He ate and drank some red wine but I didn't see her eat anything. They had big fish ice sculpture on their table. We did not.

· Aug. 25 Downtown at Bordello (formerly little Pedro's). The night seemed grim for my girlfriends and I; for a $10 cover, it was as if the last dusty remnants of the Swingers scene had choked up some new phlegm...there were fedoras aplenty and bufonts galore atop desperate faces. Suddenly- a beacon! A grinning Vince Vaughn and a crew of similarly beplaided tall men walked in. He is one tall drink of water; one of my friends went up and talked to him and, at my facetious request, told him he was "a motor-boatin' son-of-a-bitch." She claims that was the moment she lost him. She also said he was "driz-unk" and slurring his speech. Then he sang a song with the band there and was, indeed, "driz-unk."

· In the Redwoods Lounge (or whatever that thing is called) at the Greek Theatre on Thursday, August 16th - Spotted a couple of celebs in the hospitality room at the Tony Bennett concert. Hilary Swank, looking much prettier in person than I would have guessed, with the guy I assume is her agent/lover. Also with them was a normal looking older couple that I figure was her (or his) parents. Also there, the impossible to miss Brad Garrett.

· Aug. 24 - Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins around USC during "move-in week" escorting their son around campus. She's gorgeous in person - both are incredibly nice and down to earth.

· Big PrivacyWatch weekend, which was good since I was hosting out-of-town visitors, who appreciate celebrity sightings in ways jaded Angelenos rarely do. Friday night outside of the Hungry Cat, we saw a disheveled looking Joey Lauren Adams sitting on a concrete bench next to a homeless guy's shopping cart, smoking a cigarette and talking on her cell phone. Sunday morning we graduated from C-list to B-list when Ryan Gosling, bearded and dressed like a lumberjack (seriously, army boots and flannel on an August day in LA?) walked into the 101 Coffee Shop with a guy friend. I guess I had always thought of Ryan as a smaller guy but he's actually pretty beefy. Finally, we went from B-list to A-list (sort of) at AOC on Sunday night when a haggard-and-possibly-homeless-looking Olsen sister (we think it was Mary-Kate Olsen) wandered into the restaurant to say hi to some friends, and then quickly wandered back out to linger on the 3rd Street sidewalk for a while. Her hair was gross and she was rattily dressed and her makeup was horrific - in other words, she looked exactly as I'd expect her to.

· Kiefer Sutherland sighting, Los Feliz, Saturday 8/25, 6:45pm: we turned the corner from Russell onto Vermont and there he was, walking uphill toward us past Skylight Books with a lady friend (dark, shoulder-length hair...we didn't recognize her). He put his cigarette out and threw it into the gutter as he passed us; we turned around and they'd disappeared, presumably into the Los Feliz 3 theater. All the movies started at 7pm — The Bourne Ultimatum, Death at a Funeral or Right at Your Door. Wonder which one were they seeing?

· Kate Bosworth, Thursday (8/23), at Dominic's in WeHo (is that still WeHo? or is it just Ho?). Either way, the lady looks properly fed and was dressed like the hottest Grandmother this side of the 1920s. I've seen Wal-Mart greeters with more contemporary fashion.

· Saturday afternoon (8/25), ex-Disney CEO Michael Eisner shopping with his wife at the Camarillo Outlet; can't say that I blame him, I think Restoration Hardware's retail is over-priced, too.

Sunday evening (8/26), R&B indie favorite/Garth Trinidad-approved Van Hunt walking to rehearsal near Zanzibar in SM; humble, gracious to a fault, a real nice kid - please don't move to Hell Ay. Great show @ Temple Bar last week, btw.

Monday evening (8/27) Matthew Perry at the Barnes & Noble/Westside Pavillion minding his own, bought a book, no one pestered him. Rested, tanned, a little scruffy, looks like life's treating him well.

· Last night (8/28) saw a sun-bleached Chuck Taylor wearing Matthew Perry loitering alone for a good 15-20 minutes, lost in his own world, in the lobby of the new Landmark Theaters at the Westside Pavillion. Definitely skinny Chandler.

· Monday 8/27, I'm making an afternoon run to my favorite wine store in Hollywood and I notice a half-dozen paparazzi swarming outside the adjacent Kinko's. I'm like, what celebrity frequents Kinko's?! So I ask one of the Paps who was inside but he coyly replied, "Go see for yourself." Uch, make me do all the work, why don't you! I wandered in and almost had a heart attack. At first I thought it was Victoria Beckham!! That would have been awesome. No, instead it was EVA LONGORIA, all Posh-ed out with a similar haircut and everything. She was at the cashier paying for something (my bitchy friend in NYC, whom I was on the cell phone with at the time, suggested maybe she was getting her wedding gift thank you cards printed up there). Eva was not only aware of the paparazzi outside and clearly loving it, I have a sneaking suspicion she and/or her publicist called them directly. I mean, they don't usually hang outside of the Hollywood Kinko's hoping for a celeb sighting the way they do in front of Kitson. Also, Eva was done up to the HILT. Perfectly blown out angular bob, full "premiere" type make-up, and designer duds. The most hilarious part though was the only people who seemed to recognize her or care were the paparazzi and me. Seriously, why is she playing at being one of the "little people" who actually goes to Kinko's herself?! That's what assistants are for. It's just rude to the rest of us, in the same vein of how it was insulting when Marie Antoinette played at being "peasant" in her little pretend village on the grounds of Versailles. Still, Eva was movie star gorgeous, I will give her that.

· I went to the Cirque du Soleil "Corteo" opening night. It was like an acid trip without the acid. Many models, artists, theatre people, actors, athletes, dancers, yogis, Euro-trash, and celebrities. I assume many celebrities, because I didn't fight the crowd to see who was being photographed on the red carpet. I did see a lot of "faces" but I couldn't put names to them, as well as 80s TV stars, like the brunette woman from Falcon Crest, as well as twenty-something model/actors who all look alike. However, I went to the after party in the Forum, where I saw a low-key Judd Nelson (one of the "Brat Pack"). He was still looking good in a goatee and longish hair. I caught his eye and he smiled in a friendly (neighborly? ) way. I also saw Julie Newmar (Catwoman from the original Batman show). She must be over 70, but she was wearing a bra with a see-through shrug over it, and genie-type pants with her belly button showing. This might sound strange, but she somehow got away with it. She was sitting on one of the makeout sofas holding court to a small group of friends. Great food and drinks, but I left when the white clowns started descending from the ceiling, popping out of birthday cakes.

· Friday August 24, 2007 My husband and I were eating dinner at the Alcove off Hillhurst, when Cheryl Hines walked in with a younger girl and a man.

I'm still not 100% sure it was him, but waiting for our reservation Friday night outside C&O's in Venice I'm pretty sure Norm MacDonald walked by. I've seen him before, but dude looked like he needed a shower, a shave and a job. Had it been after dinner I may have mistakenly given him my leftovers thinking he was one of the other bums who wait outside for garlic rolls and fusilli.

· ER's Shane West at the Mobil station at Gower & Franklin this am (Aug 27). He walks in, sees 3 people waiting in line, and asks the guy in front if he can cut the line. Confused, the dude says ok and Shane sticks out his credit card to the woman at the register. When he's told they only take cash or ATM, Shane rolls his eyes and goes "ugh" before storming out.

· Aug 27 I just saw Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox at a Starbucks on Ventura and some street just west of Laurel Canyon (I don't know the Valley). He looked exactly as expected, she was gorgeous — sans makeup and the usual strumpet ware.

· Sunday, 8/19 - Swimming laps at the Santa Monica Swim Center, noticed a man a few lanes over who looked familiar (even while wearing goggles) but couldn't figure out why. Kept staring, thinking he was not an agent I knew (hoping he wasn't an agent I knew given my own goggles and bitchin' swim cap.) On the way out of the locker room, saw him again dressed and waiting for his wife/girlfriend/swim buddy to come out of the ladies. Realized is was Toby - Paul Lieberstein - from "The Office." See? Even semi-celebs can take advantage of public recreation facilities.

· Today (8/24), Fred Armisen at the downtown YMCA. Looked pretty fit and pretty normal, working out with his headphones on.

· Monday 8/27: Saw Joel McHale (host of 'The Soup') at the Greek theater catching the Joss Stone show. Very tall and attractive. He was hanging with another good-looking dude who I thought I recognized. My friend and I wondered if they were on a date, but both were sporting wedding rings and chatting about classic porno. Do two straight guys attend a Joss Stone concert together? That's a question for the ages I guess...

· i was at the olympic spa in koreatown this afternoon (Aug. 26), and who else do i spot using the amenities? none other than rumer willis. and guess what? she behaved and looked, dare i say, normal and nice! first of all, very nice body with a cute bird tattoo on her right shoulder. she was pleasant with other guests and staff (and from what i overheard, she believes the beauty myth that steam opens pores and cold water closes them), and tipped her service person. and here's another shocker - she was quite cute! turns out she must be one of those people who photograph poorly, because the potato head was nowhere to be seen. her chin and eyes were pretty much in proportion to the rest of her face and she looked quite nice. her pics don't do her justice - she's really not that out of whack. the only negative thing i can say was that i saw her oufit when she left, and it was kind of yuck. denim overalls, grey tank, and a pork pie hat - not flattering on anybody in my book.

· Aug 27 - Who knows where Brit Brit was on Saturday afternoon, but her son, Sean Preston Federline was working out his inner wigger at the And 1 Streetball basketball game at the Queen Mary in Long Beach. He was being toted around the bleachers by her giant bodyguard for the first half and that baby looked scared. Where is his mother, ya'll???

In today's episode: Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe; Jack Black; Colin Farrell; Dustin Hoffman; Michael Bay, Seth Green, Joshua Jackson, Lance Bass, Efren Ramirez, Josh Henderson, and Ben Lyons; Jennifer Jason Leigh and Noah Baumbach; Tom Freston; Cybill Shepherd; Wentworth Miller and Tia Carrere; Adam Brody; Benjamin McKenzie; Jonah Hill; Wayne Newton; Peter Cambor; Sanjaya Malakar and Phil Stacey.

· Spotted Chad Lowe at the West LA "Bed Bath and Beyond" store this afternoon (Wednesday, June27). He was slumming it in jeans, t-shirt, and ball cap, in the small kitchen appliance section of the store. Looked good, but definitely not a Defamer worthy sighting.

I ended up behind him in the check out line, and this is where the story finally becomes interesting. He suddenly jumped out of the line and ran over to a brunette he spotted in the nearby return section. They enjoyed a loooong hug and when they pulled apart, lo and behold, I could it was ex-wife Hilary Swank, looking quite beautiful while dressed down in a white t-shirt and beige jeans.

They spoke and beamed at one another for about a minute before returning to their separate check out lines. They were quite comfortable with one another, and it was a sweet little moment to witness.

· 6/28 - I had lunch at Mozza on Thursday and to my surprise saw only one celeb (though the place was probably crawling with industry types). Jack Black was seated at the table next to me and had a lengthy lunch with a couple of non-famous, or at least unrecognizable, guys. He looked pretty subdued but appeared to be enjoying himself.

· June 26 I just saw Colin Farrell drinking a latte or some other coffee drink with three other guys at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf behind CAA's deathstar building in Century City.

· 6/27/07 at 4pm Just saw Dustin Hoffman pull up to the Brentwood Longs Drugs in his prius (of course). Wandered casually into the store and added a few pumice stones to his cavernous cart, while talking on his cellphone. Looked a little lost, but who isn't since they did remodeled. Khakis and polo and a gorgeous antique watch complemented the relaxed Westside afternoon loafer look.

· At the "Transformers" premiere in Westwood on 6/27 - Josh Henderson (looking just like you'd expect of someone who's done Paris - totally gross and totally out of it), Joshua Jackson (thin, in skinny man jeans, but still looking really good, still don't want him to be Fletch), Lance Bass (he had dark hair, looked like, you know, himself), star Kevin Dunn (very nice to fans), Seth Green (dark hair, short as ever, on the non-star blue? carpet), Efren "Pedro" Ramirez (he, frankly, looked insane), Ben Lyons (the E! guy, actually really cute and really nice), and Michael Bay (the man himdamnself, whom I accidentally got drunk and accosted with weird compliments; sorry, dude, your movie rocked!). Is it wrong that even after this motley crew of sightings, I still feel empty inside because of NO Shia sightings???

· Tuesday night was on my way to meeting friends at a bar on 3rd and outside Orso ran into the valet stand hubbub. Slowed down drive-by style and was rewarded with Jennifer Jason Leigh hugging it out with dining companions including hubby Noah Baumbach (sporting a beard to stave off the ravages of age?). Speaking of which, JJL was looking good for an actress of a certain age.

Deposed Viacom CEO Tom Freston was also there, digging up some scratch to tip our red-vested friends. Unclear if they dined together to discuss The Anniversary Party 2 as comeback vehicle for Freston.

· Stopped by Amoeba yesterday afternoon (6-27) to see if Paul McCartney was doing some pre-show shopping, spotted Cybill Shepherd instead. Is she a fan??

· Friday morning 6/29 - stopping at my on-the-way-to-the-office
Starbucks in Larchmont Village and hit a two-fer: As I'm parking,
the former 'Babe-Raham Lincoln' of Wayne's World, Tia Carrere getting into her german import in the spot next to mine. Not so much with the "Schwiiiing" these days. Next, as I await my new and rather tasty breakfast sandwich to emerge from the microwave, I notice Wentworth Miller of Prison Break waiting for his venti soy latte. Very normal and unassuming in shorts and tee albeit for the trademark buzz-cut and blue eyes. The actor cum barista says to him "you ready?" which I assume is a reference to production starting up again and he replies "I don't have a choice". Really? Come on guy things be worse, you could be on the other side of the counter kissing the ass of some pretentiously named TV actor, cheer up millionaire!

· My boyfriend and I saw Adam Brody at Canter's Deli around 1:45am on Sunday night/Monday early morning. He had about a few day's worth of facial hair growth, generally looked unclean and was skinny as hell. I covertly told my boyfriend it was him and he was skeptical until he spied his name on his driver's license (boyfriend was standing behind him in line, waiting to pay). Some girl noticed him and was vaguely trying to talk to him even though he had his hood up and looked like he really didn't want anyone to be noticing him. Still, he seemed nice to her even though he bolted out of there once he finished paying.

· Thursday, June 28th Just had lunch at the 3 Square Bakery on Abott Kinney where I saw Benjamin McKenzie enjoying a salad and perusing a script at the empty communal table. He is cute and compact in that "weren't you on the varsity soccer team at my high school?" kind of way. I was hoping he would reenact one of his Emmy worthy freak-out-and punch-the-wall scenes that made Ryan from Chino such a crowd pleaser, but sadly, he was just another cute guy eating organic greens in Venice.

· 6/26, around 8pm. Spotted a cute husky guy on a bike on the corner of 3rd and Crescent Heights. Upon closer inspection/abject staring I figure out its Ebay-store scene stealer Jonah Hill. It took me a second to recognize him because he had a serious beard going along with his fro, which made him look a lot older. I was taken back by how cute he looked in his black t-shirt and jeans, and also the fact that he was riding a bike (although it was in distinctly hipster-ish way). He stopped on the corner to mess with his Ipod, which he returned to his bright red messenger bag before continuing down the street. I was in my car, so therefore resisted the urge to ask him for Seth Rogen's number.

· Leaving an appointment on the Disney lot (6-28). I see a weirdly skanky looking blonde. 50ish with really bad roots and leathery tan. "Who could that woman be with?" I think to myself. Then I saw him and realized there really was only one possible answer: Wayne Newton. Wearing sunglasses with the blackest hair you've ever seen. Is it fake? Real? Plugs? I couldn't tell, but there was definitely something odd about it. My friend and I and the security guard shared a nice giggle.

· Location: Abbot Kinney - Stroh's Coffee Shop
Target: Peter Cambor (ABC's Notes from the Underbelly)
Date/Time: 6/28 10AMish

My co-workers and I stopped by to grab some much needed coffee. Even before I entered into the café, I noticed a cute guy (sunglasses on) sitting outside with his dog and a friend. He looked really, really
familiar.

I get my coffee and stand outside the café with my co-worker as I rack my brain to figure out where I've seen that "cute" guy. Not from show Office... Was he in Knock Up — no, he wasn't Paul Rudd.

As my co-workers and I neared the office, I ask them if they saw that guy and recognized him. My co-worker comments that the dog was beautiful.

Then I realize that it's that guy from the show about people being
pregnant on ABC. Of course, I look it up on ABC.com but the show isn't listed anymore (cancelled?!). I then remember it had that girl from the Rice Cake commercials in it too (she was pretty funny actually).

Googled: Rice Cake commercial which led me to Yahoo Answers which led me Rachael Harris' imdb site which led me to Notes from the Underbelly which finally led me to Peter Cambor. If anything, this made me realize that I have way too much time on my hands.

Thanks for listening,

· Tuesday June 26 2:30pm @ Urth Cafe on Melrose...TWO! American Idol Contestants walking down Melrose in front of Urth Cafe. Phil Stacey (the bald dude) and Sanfuckingjaya!! There was a third person with them but I didn't see their face. For all I know it could've been that beat box dude. No crazy hairdo for Sanjaya. He and Phil were not holding hands.

In today's episode: Hilary Swank, Kate Bosworth, and Courtney Love; Nat Faxon; Penelope Cruz and Shakira; Halle Berry; Julia Louis Dreyfus; John C. Reilly; Cuba Gooding Jr; Dave Chappelle; Lionel Ritchie; Henry Rollins; Judd Apatow and Emmanuelle Chriqui; Ryan Seacrest; Paula Abdul; Larry Birkhead; Jason Bateman and Martin Short; Milla Jovovich; Jeremy Sisto and T.R. Knight; Kevin Connolly; Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu; Michael Cera; Adam Levine; John Cho; Rick Schroeder; Pat O'Brien, Dido, and Todd Louiso; Dita Von Teese and Andrew Keegan; and Jake "Body By Jake" Steinfeld.

· A triple header night at Pizzeria Mozza! Sunday night, as we walked up we noticed the paparazzi hiding in the bushes. My first comment to my boyfriend was "Great - I'll have something to email defamer about!"...First celebrity of the evening was Courtney Love, looking pulled together, cleaned up, sober. Really, she looked like just another LA blonde. She was heading to the back room, where apparently Gwyneth Paltrow was throwing a private party. Nope, didn't see Gwyneth. My boyfriend noticed Hilary Swank sitting against the wall at a regular table. She looks smaller in person...very pretty, but I would have been happier seeing her look like her Brandon Teena character. (YUM!). As we were leaving, Kate Bosworth came out of the private party room. Hat trick!

· This morning (June 10), at "Tiny World" (westside baby furniture/gear store) saw Hilary Swank hanging out with a guy checking out furniture. Hmm....

· At the Rose Bowl Flea Market this Sunday, I had the pleasure of
standing behind 'Superman Returns' star Kate Bosworth on line for the venue's obscenely usurious ATMs, whose huge, floppy hat was probably great for keeping the sun off her fair head, but not quite big enough to hide her from identification by fans. Skinny, but not "Kate Bosworth Eating Disorder Shocker" skinny. She was with a guy I didn't recognize, but whose undeniable handsomeness means he's almost definitely an actor/bartender or model/waiter.

Also saw Nat Faxon, who currently stars in virtually every commercial currently on television and who recently sold a screenplay or something. I swear on the life of my nonexistent children that I am not a publicist trying to drum up buzz for his career by saying I saw him at the world's most impressive crap-meet.

· 6/10- Saw Penelope Cruz at the John Mayer show at the Hollywood Bowl. She skipped Ben Folds set and was escorted to her seat right before John came on stage. She was totally in to the show and gushing over Mayer. Found out later that she was with Shakira.

· 6/9 - Saw Halle Berry at the John Mayer concert at the Hollywood. She was sitting in one of the lower level boxes. Was with a couple of other women - no guys with her. Very nice skin.

· 6/10 - around 4:00pm, saw Julia Louis Dreyfus at the new Westwood Landmark Theater. She was coming out of theater 10 (we were coming out from theater 9) and on her way to the bathroom. No makeup, very casual shirt and shorts. You couldn't miss her. She looked like she was with some family and friends.

· Saw a very thin looking John C. Reilly at Safari Sam's on Sunday getting his hillbilly on at the Porter Wagoner show. Go ahead, google Porter Wagoner. You know you want to.

· So I know Cuba Gooding Jr. is a hero and all, what with the incident at Roscoe's over Memorial Day. That being said, I saw Rod Tidwell at the Famous Pinks Hot Dog Stand this past Monday as I was giving my visiting parents a tour of the city. My Girlfriend actually spotted him in line behind us and asked me for a verification and once I recognized the man that gave us such great works as Snow Dogs and Boat Trip, I slyly told my parents who they were about to see. Now being fro out of town, I didn't want them to be the tourists that asked him for his picture or made everyone else aware of his presence in line, as he had been incognito up until then (playing with his crackberry mostly). I told then, they saw and played it cool as well, not making a sound about it. Then of course no more than two minutes later some people further back in the line saw him and starting pestering him for pictures and whatnot. He was very nice to everyone, despite the fact that his son had just joined him in line. In any event, my parents were excited to see a real celebrity, and while I was proud of them for not saying anything to him, I greatly wish I could go back and yell "show me the money" just to see if he'd look in our direction.

· First, there was Lionel Ritchie on my Heathrow to LAX flight on Monday. Looking dapper and bejeweled, he held court by the baggage carousel while a flunkie directed two British Airways baggage handlers which of the bags belonged to Mr. Richie. There were 17 in total. Then after waiting a good 10 minutes for a car to pick him up at the curb (during which time he graciously posed for cellphone camera photos and shook hands) he hopped in the passenger seat and was off.

· Then, yesterday while driving down 3rd street waiting to turn onto Robertson, Dave Chappelle pulled up alongside me in his silver Lexus convertible. He was driving very slowly, stopped when the light was still green, and generally looked disoriented.

· After that, while leaving the Trader Joe's WeHo, I saw a man who looked like an old, frail version of Henry Rollins. And then a woman walked by him and said "I love your shows" and he said "thanks" so I guess it was either really him or just an old man with his own performing career.

· The Grove. Emmanuelle Chriqui was standing outside the theater/restrooms following the 10:15 showing of "Knocked Up". Bad security there, btw. They made everyone wait outside with no supervision , and there were "cutters". And not the Amy Winehouse kind. We responded by cutting the cutters and it get all West Side Story. Anyhoo, she was with a group of people, some of whom looked like they were family. "Knocked Up" with your family? Okaaay. And I'm usually the first to say celebrity girls look even better in person, but she was not nearly as hot as she was on Entourage the following night. My friend assured me that she probably wasn't wearing make-up, but I just call 'em like I see 'em. Sorry, I forgot to say when this happened—it was last Friday night (June 1). And my friend talked to Judd Apatow before the film started; he was milling about in the hallway. There—I gave you a bonus, so don't bust my balls. :D

· Sunday, June 10: At trendy hard-to-get-reservations-at Pizzeria Mozza (Highland & Melrose), unshaven, t-shirted and jeans, Ryan Seacrest was sharing a lunchtime pizza with your typical skinny, blonde Hollywood-type young woman. Despite the close-together tables, (he was sandwiched between two other tables at elbows' distance), no one bothered him and he graciously thanked the people next to him with a fond goodbye.

· 6/10 - Bristol Farms, Bev Hills - I'm waiting for my soppresata panini like a commoner when I spot Paula Abdul standing right next to me. She was very well dressed and my first reaction to her was "just another rich Beverly Hills lady in a push up bra and fancy jewelry." I told her "the girls at the office are going to hate me for seeing you because THEY love you" (a slight hint that I do not watch American Idol). She gave me a sideways hug for this comment. I didn't know what to say next so I called her a "wonderful lady". God I need to work on my Jedi lying skills. I believe she was getting a turkey pesto sandwich - what this says about her is beyond me. Someone else can read into it. Also, I know what you want to know, NO she did not seem drunk. She seemed very lucid and very busy.

· I saw Larry Birkhead at Ralph's on Ventura in Studio City today (June 9). Cart was completely full; he was buying tons of cookies and doughnuts! Looks exactly like he does on tv.. best celeb sighting!

· June 9: Saw Jason Bateman and Martin Short at Cedars-Sinai. Jason is just as cute as on tv but Martin looks very decrepit.

· Saw Milla Jovovich at Nordstroms at the Grove. She was with a man-handler/agent type, really pretty.

· Sunday (6/8) at the Rose Bowl, amongst the unwashed hordes: Jeremy Sisto, mit entourage, and T.R. Knight, looking good, with a girl. Not shopping together, although both were probably thinking they could outsmart the canny old dude selling vintage Star Wars figurines.

· Last night around 7:30pm I was at the Bristol Farms on Doheny trying to figure out what wine to buy. As I come out of an aisle I am nearly run over buy Kevin (the suit) Connolly and his shopping cart, as he races (no exaggeration) the man was running around trying to get his groceries as quickly as possible. Despite my near death experience, it was a good sighting. He's pretty cute in person.

· Not even the most in-demand Mexican director can resist the powers of the Pinkberry. I saw Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu at the Pinkberry on Beverly on Saturday (6/9).

· Cute-as-a-button Michael Cera ("Arrested Development," the upcoming Superbad) was at Palermo's on Vermont yesterday (Sunday June 10th) afternoon. He is very young. And the gnocchi is totally decent there.

Monday, 6/11, 4:45 pm

· Waiting for the bus (I'm poor and new to LA) on Sunset and Vine when I see none other than Adam Levine of Maroon 5 speed by in a sleek-looking Mercedes SUV. Lots of gel in his hair. I'll have to call my girlfriend when I get to Crenshaw.

· Not much of a sighting, but today (6-11) sat next to Harold from "Harold and Kumar" fame (John Cho) while he lunched at Alcove with an Asian girl about his age, and perhaps her mother. Notable only because he discussed how freaked out he was by the fact that when he met with Larry David, the comedian looked exactly like he does on "Curb"—wore the same sort of clothes and spoke the same way. Later in the lunch, his friend asked him if Sacha Baron Cohen was really as brilliant as everyone says—Harold had apparently gone to a "Borat" party—and Harold said yes. Shocking revelations from the younger generation.

· My Saturday night was born with a Silver Spoon in its mouth (June 9). Around 9:30, I walked in on a bizarre "Phantom of the Opera" inspired masquerade costume ball going down on the first floor of wannabe posh lounge Empress on Sunset. Sitting quietly amongst the white wigs, purple masks, and glittering wardrobe was a (Rick Schroeder). Black shirt and normal pants, he was the only civilian dressed soul in a corner table of 8 friends from the 1800s. At 11:30, saw (Alfonso Ribeiro standing in a circle with 4-5 "dudes" drinking bottled beers in the back room (its not a VIP) at LAX. No, I cant get you in anywhere when you come to visit LA.

· I attended Largo both Friday and Saturday nights to see Jon Brion. Friday night won for Most Random Sighting - Pat O'Brien. Homeboy is tall, but so tanned and generally weather-beaten that I couldn't tell whether he still had a moustache from where I stood. Turns out he does. One of my friends scored a table right next to his. She said he looked uninterested through most of the show. I guess Botox will do that.

Saturday night we spotted Dido hanging around as well as Todd Louiso, who played Dick - the nerdy, mild mannered record store clerk in High Fidelity. He was accompanied by an attractive brunette in a classy black dress.

· Andrew Keegan at (6/8) Friday's Hollywood Bowl Morrisey concert. (hey, I like 10 Things I Hate About You!) He still looks all right. He was carrying a picnic bag.

Dita Von Teese on (6/9) Saturday at the Bossa Nova on Sunset having lunch with two older female companions, I'm guessing they were family members. She looked stunning in a burgundy red dress with white polka dots on it.

· Body by Jake (Jake Steinfeld) on a very delayed flight from JFK to LAX Sunday night.

In today's episode: Jessica Simpson and Charlize Theron; Hilary Swank; Kiefer Sutherland; Quentin Tarantino; Rob Reiner and Rebecca DeMornay; Morrissey; Giovanni Ribisi; Ike Barinholtz; David Cross; Mario Lopez and Anna Chlumsky; Andre 3000; Little Richard; Jason Hervey; Judy Greer and Babyface.

· April 9 - The Killers show at Staples. Spied Jessica Simpson scooting in last minute into a lower level seat with Ken Paves and a few other people I didn't recognize. No sign of John Mayer. Lots of commotion when everyone realized it was her; I felt vaguely bad for her because everyone gawking like a bunch of lunatics. Then I realized she looked pretty damn hot, so who cares if they stare?

Post-show, noticed that Charlize Theron was sitting one section over from Jessica. She's super tall and thin as all get out. Looked like it was a "girls' night" kind of crew for her.

Honestly, neither Jessica nor Charlize held a candle to one Brandon Flowers. Dude is one hot Mormon.

· Hilary Swank at Café Vida in the Palisades (4-11). She was alone, tapping away on her cell, and looking very skinny.

· 4/9: 6:30pm Walked by Kiefer Sutherland sitting with two men at an outdoor table at Figaro on Vermont in Los Feliz. Something awful was happening with his face, was it a laser peel? Just bad skin? Scary!

· 11:45 pm, April 10th, I was standing outside the Laemmle 5 theatre on sunset, when my friend nonchalantly says "I think that's Quentin Tarantino walking down the stairs." I thought he was joking, but as I turned around, there he was. Two of his fanboys found him and were gushing about his appearances at the New Beverley. He seemed really nice, talked to them, shook their hands and took pictures with them. He was wearing a black leather jacket and a backpack.

· Worked the "Fracture" premiere last night (4-11). Did not see the two stars of the film as I mostly away from the crowds. But after the film I did see Rob Reiner chatting with Rebecca DeMornay. He looks good and has lost a lot of weight. In fact he may be close to the size he was in "All in the Family" four decades ago.
Ms. DeMornay was still looking good although covered up from head to toe. If any surgery was done it was well worth it as she looks very radiant in her late 40's.

· Hey Guys: I just saw Morrissey at the Belair (4-10) eating a late lunch with a lawyer type. I checked as I approached to see if he was eating meat...nope. I said hello and asked if he was still in the music business...he smiled and said: "Yes, I am starting the Vigina Monologues"!

I laughed and wished him well with that.

· Spotted Giovanni Ribisi at The Grove on Good Friday afternoon. The Grove was packed. How do Americans celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior? The same way they celebrate everything else: with shopping. Giovanni was at The Farm, ordering food from the counter. He was wearing jeans and a black, leather motorcycle jacket. He looked taller (about 5'8") and skinnier than I'd have guessed, and his thinning hair was dark brown. He was kind of incognito, but with that distinct, nasally voice he was hard to miss.

· Friday April 6. Whilst (am American, but just love how Brit and snobby that sounds) standing in line to purchase an iPod Shuffle (at the Apple Store) stood behind Ike Barinholtz from MADtv who seemed to check in and out in about 2 seconds flat. Special service for stars of 2nd banana comedy sketch shows? Had a Boston baseball cap on and carried a man-purse. Not so hot in person and I would never have recognized him if not for assistance of celebuwhore friend. 10 seconds later, same friend screeches, "it's Giovanni Ribisi walking up the stairs! Eeeek!" (OK, I added that part). He's VERY tiny, yet kinda hot in a brooding, outsiderish way. Did I mention he's super short? But had a nice caboose. Had a leather jacket on and was carrying a helmet. Do all scientologists ride motorcycles?

· Saw a predictably low key David Cross and a small group of friends at the Roost on Los Feliz last Tuesday night. Totally caught him looking at me a few times. Must be cuz I'm so pretty and not at all because I had planted myself in his eye line (corner of the bar next to the bathrooms).

· Hey. I was downtown last night (4-12) looking for a birthday party at an impossible to find Irish pub, anyways there was like 12 different shoots going on in a 4 block radius and I was held up by one that was on the sidewalk I needed to pass by and I saw Mario Lopez and a girl that one of the crew said was ANNA CHLUMSKY From "My Girl" and "Gold Diggaz"!! She was beautiful and I dont doubt its her but it was WEIRD seeing this girl after ten years of her being my imaginary girlfriend ;-) ANyways I think the production was for TV pilot (PLEASE let them pick it up I think I love her all over again :-) called "8 days" OH YEAH !! I forgot to mention I think Sean Hayes from Will and grace is directing or producing it !! ( Sorry got caught up in my old schoolyard crush and left that out)

· Runyon Canyon, Tuesday, April 10th, Andre 3000 on a meditative hike all by himself

· Went to Toast for some lunch (4-11) and sitting outside on the patio was Justin Kirk of "Weeds" fame.

· 1.) Little Richard wheeled into the Delta terminal at LAX with his entourage on March 30. He was in a wheelchair wearing sequined shoes. A member of his entourage was giving out religious books of inspiration along with an autographed picture.

2.) Jason Hervey, the mean brother of "The Wonder Years", sitting at Starbucks in Beverly Glen April 12.

· This week several friends had emailed me two very funny Judy Greer items on the internets: (1) her very funny turn in the TV Set trailer and (2) the unique photo accompanying her Wikipedia entry. So it was especially zany that I saw Ms. Greer aka Kitty Sanchez walking down Larchmont Wed afternoon. I considered telling her that she's adorable and asking if she'd like to go for coffee but she was already holding a cup of coffee. Also, I didn't want to get maced.

· 4/7 - Eddie Murphy's girlfriend's ex-husband, Babyface, in full dad mode escorting a bunch of little boys around the Century City mall food court on Saturday.

· When the end is nigh, there will be sneezing pandas. And, of course, terrible Hilary Swank movies.
· The latest Chinese version of the Idol franchise will be called Boys Happy Voice (or Happy Boys Voice—the piece seems confused on the matter), strive to "maintain a happy atmosphere" and feature judges "prohibited "from mocking or humiliating contestants." In short, it is going to suck. We hope someone sends a Chinese Sanjaya to destroy it from within.
·We'd hate to give Kate Beckinsale a complex, but yeah, she'd look better with Queen Latifah-sized "gigantic real breasts."
·Despair, Hills fans: This LC person says there is no tape of her getting in on with that other guy, contrary to other reports.
· "All we're asking them to do is to treat smoking in the movies the same way they treat fuck."

• EW review: 'Reaping' a bad movie [CNN/EW]

In today's star-studded, Oscar Week episode: Leonardo DiCaprio; Mel Gibson, Diane Sawyer, Mike Nichols; The Rock; Jennifer Hudson; Peter O'Toole; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom and Adrian Grenier; Cuba Gooding, Jr., Michael Arndt, Shannyn Sossamon, John Waters, Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla and Carson Daly; Will Arnett, Joey McIntyre and Dax Shepard; Lauren Graham, Robin Tunney and Marley Shelton; Scott Speedman and Bradley Cooper; Scott Foley and Marika Dominczyk; Jeff Zucker; Tim Allen; Matt Stone; Dane Cook; Paris Hilton; Tawny Cypress; Magic Johnson; Rory Cochrane; Jai Rodriguez, Lakisha Jones, Gina Glocksen and Leslie Hunt; Serena Williams and Camryn Manheim.

· So I was at dinner tonight (2/26) at Table 8 on Melrose with a very handsome companion when my attention was drawn away from him to a most Delicious specimen. Yes, it was Leo DiCaprio with a group of 6 or so. I know he is dating a model (natch) but the women he was dining with looked liked they were normal (!) wearing casual clothes and little to no makeup. (Undercover?)They were still beautiful but it seemed weird. Oh wait. Maybe Leo has some real friends! They seemed like a nice and normal group of people out for a good, if expensive, meal.

· this morning 2.24 at 10:50am going east on sunset blvd at holloway stopped at the light saw Leo DiCaprio's head bobbing up and down in the back seat of a "green" limo honda civic. His head filled the entire window..........i know it's oscar weekend and all, but it was Leo the nominated!

· So everyone probably saw everyone somewhere on Oscar weekend, but we had a good double header on 2/23:

#1 - The Rock having what looked like a business dinner at Dan Tana's.

#2 - Mel Gibson at the Belvedere in the Peninsula, acting extremely chummy with Diane Sawyer and Mike Nichols. There are so many things wrong with this I don't know where to start, but I think the big questions are about Diane's journalistic integrity and whether or not Mel calls her "Sugar Tits."

· Jennifer Hudson was on my mom's plane yesterday (2/26) from LAX to Kennedy. My mom told her "you were so great," and Jennifer was super sincerely nice and appreciative, like a sweet un-jaded teenager. (JH was in first class, mom was stuck in coach.) I first thought "oh brother" when I heard this story, but then the flight attendant told her she was the only one to approach the winning ingenue on the whole flight! Weird that peeps are that Too Cool for School to an Oscar winner the day after. Not that she needs more adulation, but b/c of her going virtually unnoticed it's OK mom said something. JH apparently let all the flight attendants hold her Oscar but not in a show off-y way, which is sorta sweet, no?

· 2/24 I live right behind the Four Seasons hotel and we walked over to night to see who might be around. No one in the bar, just random nobodies (or no one I recognize). So we go into the lounge with the fireplace and it's totally dead. Then Peter O'Toole and his retinue walks in and sits down. We hung around for a while and he held court there then we eventually left. But it was great! Sadly, he looks like death warmed over, but still very classy and British. He was with a woman wearing a tee shirt that said on the back: I'm with a living legend.

· 4pm, Oscar night at Whole Foods on Wilshire in S.M. Was less than thrilled to be there as I'm more of a Ralph's guy, but what baby wants, baby gets. We're in the checkout line and I notice a stellar set of teeth on the cute, yet slightly disheveled girl in front of us. Hilary Swank! Food shopping on Oscar night! Hell of a difference a year makes...

· Adrian Grenier's band performing at The Echo on Saturday...Adrian loves his Pale Ale. And Orlando Bloom came to show his support. Both stayed through the second band and were pretty chill about hanging out with the all ages crowd...but soon headed off to Adrian's house for an after party.

· I went to the after-party at Shutters. Got there a little later. While in line, I saw Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla, his girlfriend, and Carson Daly leaving as a group. Noticed that Carson smokes and is indeed rather skinny.

Inside, I saw Cuba Gooding, Jr., Michael Arndt, Shannyn Sossamon, and John Waters.

· Today (2/26), I was walking down Larchmont and I saw a cute little dog and as I stopped to coo at it I noticed the owner was none other than Christian rocker (and former NKOTB member) Joey McIntyre. He was chatting with two smokers sitting at a café about some movie he did in Boston. Turns out the two men were Will Arnett (cue "The Final Countdown"), who reassured McIntyre of his performance in the film, and Arnett's Let's Got to Prison costar Dax Shepard. They were all in good spirits and very nice indeed.

· Had an eclectic sighting at grace restaurant on saturday night. Marley Shelton, Lauren Graham, possibly Robin Tunney, and one of the blond girls from Friday Night Lights were all having dinner together, as part of a large party in the back room. Sadly, my back was to that table so I couldn't stare and my dining companions don't watch enough TV to identify anyone else in the party. I need to get new friends.

· A star-studded day at the Casbah Cafe! 2-27, Scott Speedman strolls into the Silver Lake mainstay around 10:30 am, looking legitimately rolled-out-of-bed, as opposed to "spent 45 minutes perfecting the rolled-out-of-bed look." He had a knapsack on him, ordered some juice, left, came back in, examined an empty LA Weekly rack, left, came back in for a moment, then left again. Scintillating! Then, a couple hours later, Bradley Baumkirchner of Project Runway fame strolled in, in all his scraggily glory. Disheveled blond dude central over here! (Speedman was infinitely more doable...but can he put me in a weird looking bubble dress? I think not.)

Saturday 2/24 at around Noonish. Saw Scott Foley and fiancee (the girl who plays Tyler on Brothers & Sisters) [Marika Dominczyk] walking on Montana past Blue Plate. They didn't eat there (at least when I was there), but apparently know the hostess, as she chatted with them for a while. My friend and I couldn't get over how SMOKIN he is in person.

· 2/24 - Jeff Zucker, looking totally non-honcho holding hands with his little boy with the rest of the family in tow, strolling down Beverly on Saturday morning.

· After a somewhat satisfying, low-carb breakfast of lox, eggs and onions at Canters, my b.f. and I sauntered to the counter to pay the check. We then spied a ball-capped, shades-wearing Tim Allen, also waiting to settle up, with his young daughter. At least, I hope it was his daughter—she came up to about his waist and had barely hit puberty, but who knows. The point is, he looked extremely puffy and, get this—the bedraggled cashier dared to inspect TIM ALLEN'S twenty dollar bill in the light to make sure it wasn't counterfeit—maybe he knows Wild Hogs will bomb and assumes his cash is questionable. After a quick eye-roll, Tim shared a weak laugh with his daughter/girlfriend. My b.f. and I also chuckled—but more at Tim's scarily taut jaw-line, complete with an old-fashioned scar in FRONT of the ear, and the classic PERMANENTLY SURPRISED! look on his brow-lifted face. One would think at 1.25 million a pop for each episode of Home Improvement, he might have found a better surgeon. I'm sort of surprised that during their on-set bonding, Travolta didn't recommend his favorite Scientology-vitamin-silent-exercise routine to normalize the face of our favorite grunting, sitcom dad.

· Matt Stone from "South Park" and 1/2 of the J-Lo/Gwyneth combo at the Oscars a few years back, hanging with friends Fri night (2/23) at the Joker,
probably the sketchiest old-man dive bar on the dumpy part of Pico in SM. He
chatted and sipped his tequila shot (salt) for awhile, then took off with
his bald friend. We thought that'd be it, but they returned about 15 minutes
later....with McDonalds! The guy walked across the street and got McDonalds
to bring back for his friends.

· Dane Cook at the Coldstone Creamery at the Beverly Connection, last monday, President's Day, around 8pm. Picking up pints for himself and his live in love Raquel. He had to call her to find out what she wanted but she didn't answer. I didn't notice what he was ordering because he looked like any other shlub when I got in line next to him. It wasn't until I had listened to him speaking for a minute or two that I realized who he was. The Coldstone ice cream guys were clearly as indifferent as I was. He was very low profile which was refreshing given his over hyped onstage persona.

· * Evening of Wed., Feb. 21, at the Fatburger on Santa Monica in WeHo, Tawny Cypress (newly dead Simone on Heroes) ordered a bacon cheeseburger in the company of her significant other and their really cute 8-year-old. Totally unpretentious in a long sweatshirt, skirt and Converse shoes, and just lovely. Seems like a very nice family.

* This afternoon, Fri., Feb. 23, if my eyes did not deceive me, the succubus herself, Paris Hilton louching (slouch + lounge) in the passenger seat of a gray Land Rover at the corner of Third and Fairfax (Farmers Market).

· I know, a privacywatch sighting on Oscar night - like fish in a barrel. BUT -this was a non-entertainment celebrity, arguably. Anyway, Magic Johnson, at Mastro's in Beverly Hills. He was actually there during the show - he was coming out just as I was going in. That's a large dude. He was very nice, made sure to personally thank and shake the hands of everyone in sight, the maitre d', the reservations woman, the bartender, etc. Classy. On an unrelated side note, I really, really want to smack that reservations woman.

· Rory Cochrane and pretty blond girlfriend stuck with the rest of us mortals in the valet parking line/crowd/mob outside Social Hollywood/Boulevard 3 on Saturday night (2/25).

· Barely a celebrity sighting... Just saw Jai Rodriguez (of Queer Eye fame) at the Beverly Center. And as I turned the corner whispering to my friend, "is that the broadway dude from Queer Eye?" I saw three of the new American Idol kids shopping. I don't know any of their names, but I specifically remember the crazy blonde girl who could be the spawn of Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch [ed. note: Leslie Hunt, we think], the girl with the red streaks in her hair (come on! red streaks??!) [Gina Glocksen], and the really good singer who has a baby [Lakisha Jones].

I really couldn't get any more D-List than that....

· Very random sighting in Westwood Village at about 9:15 this morning (2-24):

I was going into the Jamba Juice in Westwood Village for my daily wheat grass fix, when who should walk out directly in my path but Serena Williams. She was dressed in workout gear (a zip up pullover and spandex pants,—if I think hard enough I could probably remember the color) with no makeup on, Jamba in hand and looked very toned down (as opposed to her normal outerwear). She was smaller than I expected and felt only an inch or two taller than me (and I'm 5'8"). Isn't she supposed to be taller? Anywho, it was a random way to kick start my day. I will say this though: homegirl has thighs of steel.

· decided it was time to sign up for a Costco membership. went to the Culver City location today (2/24) to sign up. as i waited in line to get my card, i saw Camryn Manheim on her way out. she was with a good-lookin' hunky guy. he was pushing one of those Home Depot style flat carts with a very large box loaded on top. she was very chatty. seemed to be in a really good mood. tried to figure out what was in the box. an extra large Made In China flat screen t.v.? a kid's swingset? patio furniture? doesn't she have a bunch of adopted kids with her 'partner'? or am i thinking of Rosie O'Donnell?

In today's episode: Uma Thurman; Hilary Swank and Sean Young; James Woods; Liv Tyler; Kelsey Grammer; Val Kilmer; Marlee Matlin; Paris Hilton; Ginnifer Goodwin and Chris Klein; Kevin Dillon; Carson Daly; Rachel Dratch; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Simon Fuller, Ace Young and Kellie Pickler; Jason Lee and Giovanni Ribisi; Zooey Deschanel; Lucy Davis; Brooke Burns; Scott Ian; Ja Rule; Boris Kodjoe and Leslie Jordan.

· Monday February 5th 2pm Sat next to a very beautiful Uma Thurman and female friend at The West Hollywood Gateway Center outdoor cafe. She enjoyed a humble Gyro from Daphne's over the course of 45 minutes. She wasn't really recognized until she got up to leave and her tall, voluptious physique caught the attention of everyone within 100 feet.

· I saw Hilary Swank at Revolution Fitness on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica today (2/05/07). It was just before the 5:00 PM spinning class, and she came in announcing that she needed to borrow some shoes for the class. Then she added, "My name is Hilary." I don't even remember what she was wearing, but it was not anything dramatic. She was alone.

I saw a paparazzo (sp?) outside Revolution Fitness, waiting for Hilary. He was in a white Mercedes, the trunk of which was open. He was fiddling with a camera and preparing to pounce when she left the fitness studio.

I also saw what I firmly believe was Sean Young in the 6:00 PM indoor rowing class, also at Revolution Fitness, on the same day. She entered wearing this thick long coat...the kind of thing you'd wear if you were going on a trek through Siberia. She didn't stay for the whole class. Is Sean Young considered a celebrity?

· I had the requisite James Woods and starlet-working-out-her-daddy-issues girlfriend last night (2/1) at Jones' on Santa Monica Blvd. Waited a few minutes to be seated and seemed to be keeping the ball-busting curmudgeon schtick in check. I also couldn't help but note that girlfriend's nose job seems to have healed quite nicely, per an earlier James W. privacy watch submission.

· Does Liv Tyler live in Silverlake? Yesterday (Thursday), I saw her at our Trader Joe's at 11AM, looking every bit like a Silverlake Mom—- kid sitting in the shopping cart, funky glasses, etc. She was chatting with some guy (could have been the musician-husband but I don't think so) about the wonders of various TJ's frozen foods products. She's really very beautiful, in a natural some-people-are-born-with-it way.

· Saw Kelsey Grammer with his wife, Camille, at the Westfield Topanga food court in Woodland Hills. They were both trying for "incognito" in their dark sunglasses, but many hungry shoppers spotted him anyway. He is quite tall and was casually dressed in a black hoodie and khaki-colored shorts. They opted for organic food from Coral Tree Express, but when they looked for seats, there were none available. So, Kelsey asked another couple if they could sit at their table, and the clueless pair agreed, never once seeming to recognize the celebrity "doing lunch" with them.

· tuesday night, january 30, watched as a front row table was cleared (forcibly? only the occupants know) for val kilmer and his 5+ entourage for the nightwatchman show at hotel cafe in hollywood. First one then a second much younger female slid playfully onto his lap while val intensely with head bowed or in deep concentration absorbed the evening's performance. while not looking horrible, time has not been good to the middle-aged actor... noticiably bloated, greyed and wrinkled, booze and/or fun in the sun have taken their toll.

· Thursday, 1/31- Marlee Matlin at LAX. She's gorgeous. With her assistant. I was bummed it wasn't the guy who played her assistant on West Wing. Then I realized that television and life aren't the same thing.

Friday 1/26 - Paris Hilton at The Grove. By herself with a ponytail coming out of the top right hemisphere of her brain. And a headband. She was wearing those monstrous Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen I-am-your-demented -grandmother-and-will- fuck-your-eyes-out shoes, skinny jeans, boring tee, and shiny Pink Ladies jacket (the style, not the brand). She touched my hand and I remarked (as I'm sure the one thousand other people she touched whilst barreling through to the front of the line did, too) that I'd just contracted herpes. It was hot.

· Saw Ginnifer Goodwin & Chris Klein at John O' Groat's for brunch on Saturday, 1/27 around 1:30pm. She was wearing this awesome beige, wool wrap with Uggs and yoga pants, no makeup, very fresh and pretty; he was in jeans, t-shirt and a baseball cap. She sat inside and waited for a table (they put their name in with everyone else) while he stayed outside (to keep attention away from themselves? not sure why). Very together, cute and normal.

· Kevin Dillon (JOHNNY DRAMA!) working out at the LA Fitness in Marina del Rey. Brought in his own personal trainer. The usual - smaller in person, worse skin. Still really do-able. But where the hell was Piven!??!

· sunday night, january 28, spent about two hours three stools down from kevin dillon and presumably his agent at tom bergin's on fairfax in l.a. now i know it's his main claim to fame, but either he's not much of an actor, or his entourage schtick is not acting at all. dressed in a white shirt and black suit, obviously intoxicated (and sucking down pints like no tomorrow), his new yawk swagger was spot-on for his popular tv character. even while sucking down cigarettes outside, it was deja vu watching him chat up the bartender and local sycophants.

· While noshing on the finest sashimi in L.A., I spotted an extremely manorexic Carson Daly dining with friends/co-workers at a table at Sasabune on Feb. 1st. He was hiding his protruding bones with the '90s long sleeve shirt under a t-shirt look. On Jan. 31st, I saw a fancy-attired Rebecca Romijn at The Urth Café in Santa Monica with a female friend.

· 1/31 - SNL alum Rachel Dratch chatting and laughing at a table of otherwise unrecognizable people at Mozza (yes, the pizza is worth all the fuss).

2/4 - Scream queen Sarah Michelle Gellar at Equinox Westwood. Flawless.

· 2/1 - simon fuller, ace young, and kellie pickler all cheering on chris daughtry at his el rey gig
2/2 - jason lee and giovanni ribisi sharing a vip booth at m. ward's show tonight at the el rey.

· 2/3 - Saw Jason Lee with family in tow (wife, Pilot Inspecktor, and two grandma types) at Dusty's in Silverlake. He looked just like Earl and was sporting a leather motorcycle outfit. Too bad the service there isn't as good as the sighting.

· At Mani's Bakery on Fairfax around 8p Friday February 2, Zooey Deschanel and a gaggle of male friends. They seemed to sit outside and leave without eating. Looks exactly like she does in the movies, with the big eyes and the skinny and the dark hair and everything.

· Friday 2/2/07: In line at LAX for my Southwest flight to Albuquerque. After I push women and children out of the way to snag my preferred seat and stow my luggage, I get settled in my seat. Boarding the flight after me was Lucy Davis (Dawn, the "Pam" from the original British "Office" and currently stuck on "Studio 60"). I felt bad for her having to fly with the hoi polloi. She kept her head down and chatted on the phone until we took off. Bonus — she was also on my flight back to LAX Sunday night. Again, chatting on the phone as long as possible (probably yelling at her manager to at least get her a coach ticket on a normal airline next time).

· friday 2/2 at the Wolfgang Puck Cafe counter in Gelson's Valley Village, I saw a stunning Brooke Burns...I always thought she was smoking hot on TV and she doesn't disappoint in real life. I don't know how tall she is, but i'm 5'10" and had to look up at her. she was with some actor-type guy that definitely was NOT bruce willis. lucky bastard. i'd so hit that.

· 2-4 saw Scott Ian rock god (without the red dye on his beard) pulling into Bristol Farms on Beverly in his Lexus Rx whatever hybrid family wagon looking like he was on a mission. Probably picking up those last minute snacks for the Super Bowl

· Just had dinner at Jerrys in Encino. Ja Rule was 2 booths down with an ugly little chic.

Boring!

· Just saw Boris Kodjoe last night at 24 hour fitness in Sherman Oaks Galleria. He was using the stationary bike while reading a script. Very reserved demeanor. He always appears to be in deep thought. Extremely handsome in person, and tall as hell.

· Monday 2/5: I saw the guy that played Beverly Lesley (Karen's nemesis) [Leslie Jordan] on "Will & Grace" wandering around Staples on Sunset. He's pocket sized—I just wanted to pick him up and hug him.