And while we think that fantastic idea is a second film in itself, read on to see why Tolkien geeks and studio suits alike may be shuddering this morning.

"We believe there is a second movie," del Toro said during a discussion at the Majestic Crest. "If there isn't, there will not be. If we find it, we will shoot it, but by God, if we do not find it, we will not shoot it. I am anxious to shoot the book, and I'm willing and able to dedicate myself to shooting the [second film]."

Not very reassuring, we don't think — especially for MGM, which needs the prestige and profit of a Hobbit two-fer, like, yesterday. It's trickier than it sounds, though; the second film, which would apparently bridge the gap between The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring, can only draw on the novels to which Jackson holds the rights. The rest of the background or ancillary literature (and there's a lot) is off-limits. "In the four books that are in the domain of the copyright, there are appendices and ideas and things that can be traced without risk," del Toro said. "But I have to be careful not to overstep. We believe there is a way to create this film and make it interesting, but it's too early."

Whatever. With del Toro or without him, there's too much at stake not to shoot both films, but either way, the filmmaker later alluded to how difficult he'd love to make things for the establishment. "Look, if I hadn't been a filmmaker, I would have loved to be a bank robber," he said. "I hate institutions. I hate banks. I wish they'd burn to the fucking ground. I hate lawyers. I hate anyone who fucks us every day and wants us to thank them. I used to want to plan bank robberies. I was fascinated by Rififi or any bank-heist movies. You give me Ocean's 11 or Rififi or whatever you want — as long as they're fucking a banker.

"And in my mind, those [robberies] would be creative endeavors, you know?" he continued. "They would need to plan them like a movie shoot, and they would organize a crew, and they'd probably make more money. I do have antisocial impulses, especially toward institutions, but I channel them toward my movies. People who like my movies would agree." Great! We look forward to seeing what he does with his flamethrower.

[Photo Credit: Jeffrey Wells]

"No way. Sleepless in Seattle can go fuck itself," [Del Toro] said. "Monsters are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. I have no interest in everyday life, except through a twisted mirror."

Of course, slumping Seattle screenwriter Nora Ephron got to work straightaway, sensing an opportunity to rework her long-dormant third collaboration between Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan as the tale of a lovelorn, nocturnal minotaur and the elusive Fairy of the Dawn who fakes orgasms in his dreams. That, or Del Toro will just stick to his much cheaper, twisted-enough Ashton Kutcher/Cameron Diaz reunion entitled, naturally, Fuck Itself. Count on it.

• Guillermo Del Toro to Never Direct 'Sleepless in Seattle' Sequel? [/Film]