In the clip above, Tina says that while she was doing the Bazaar shoot she thought, "Yeah, I look like this!" ... then they turn the wind machine off.

Below, she explains that her daughter is now old enough to pick her own Halloween costume, so the days of stuffing her in a ham sandwich costume and laughing at her are over. Tina doesn't want her to go as a "Barbie butterfly princess," but at least she doesn't want to be one of the Girls Next Door.

As we suspected they might,Bazaar has gone the first-lady route with Boyle, posing her, at a mansion just outside London, in what an editor calls "the most classic beautiful pieces of the season," which run the gamut from Tadashi Shoiji to J. Crew: an accessible (for the most part) wardrobe for a woman-of-a-certain age. So how does she look? Good. By which I mean, she looks like a more polished version of herself.

In the video the mag posted online, Boyle is a game subject, clearly enjoying the process and going along easily with the magazine's suggestions. But reading the accompanying interview, it seems pretty clear Boyle's not an easy nut to crack - and not just because of the author's careful admission that Boyle "isn't expansive when she talks." Basically, we know it all: she had a quiet life, cared for her elderly mother, chased her dream, and found the press a lot to take. And, again, the description of Boyle falls into the somewhat pitying incredulity that journalists so often can't help adopting:

Despite her newfound fame, there are a lot of things Susan Boyle doesn't do. She doesn't go on holiday or go out much. She isn't into fashion or gourmet food. She isn't married, doesn't have children, and hasn't seen the world. When I ask her if she's been shopping, for example, she shakes her head. Not even to Selfridges? "Where?" she asks, half joking. But feeling financially secure must surely be a bonus. "Hey, you don't just do it for the money. I don't do it for the money, babe! Who do you think I am?"

(First of all what does shopping (for example) have to do with marriage and children? She's supposed to have suddenly taken them all up in the past two months? And love how they all, in sum, are supposed to say "empty life" to a fashion mag reader!) If people are looking for sudden outpourings of emotion and a dramatic shift in personality - in short, drama equal to that which brought her to us - it looks like they'll be disappointed. But for those of us who genuinely wish to see the singer with a sustainable life and a career commensurate with her talents, well, this spread should prove reassuring. And one hopes her joke, "as long as I don't break the camera, I'll be fine," is in fun.


Love the peacock blue with Susan's fair complexion - even if this doesn't look like something she'd ever wear in real life. And how pretty is her makeup?


The What Not to Wear outfit! Knee-length skirt: check. Classic heel: check. Tailored coat: check. Hint of color: check, check. They'd probably suggest this was appropriate for picking up the kids or something; seems like a good getup for Susan to wear to the studio, no?


Okay, this is officially my least-favorite, because I can't help thinking "Grimace" and because, sassy as it looks here, you just know that shape could get Helen E. Hokinson-frumpy with very little work.


The perfect concert gown! Nice work, Bazaar.


Hm. The obligatory "woman of a certain age" sequins. I get that a touch of sparkle works on stage, but this feels a little Barbara Bush.


This gown, at $490, is among the shoot's most expensive. On the one hand, I like that they're keeping the prices somewhat realistic. But on the other, perversely, I'd love to see Susan in the priciest gown they've got! Or at least a nice Carolina Herrera. That said, love this one.


Susan Boyle, Unsung Hero [Harper's Bazaar]
Earlier: How Should Harper's Bazaar Style Susan Boyle?

The 1,900-square-foot space is painted with mantras that encourage shoppers to "make it happen" and "mix it up — no rules apply." On inspiration boards, Tiger Beat idols past (Elvis, Johnny Depp) and present (Zac Efron, Orlando Bloom, the aforementioned Jonas Brothers) are paired with encouraging quotes from John Cage, Coco Chanel, and Sister Corita, the now-deceased former nun who designed a love postage stamp in 1985. "We’re really about empowerment," says Wiatt.

An animated rainbow-striped heart avatar asks a customer,"What’s your fashion mood?" Her choices are Pop, Malibu, Peace, Rock, and Juku (short for Harajuku). Fleece hoodies, T-shirts, and dresses can be customized with adorably quirky illustrations including a Chihuahua, a ‘70s dream horse, and a “strawbunny,” which is a rabbit in strawberry garb. "I’m 60 percent Peace with 10 percent Juku and 5 percent Rock. The rest is Malibu. I love surfing," says Wiatt.

Wiatt and Tisch met through their husbands 15 years ago and are now so close, they even carry the same canvas Louis Vuitton Rayures tote.

They experimented with toy sewing machines but found the concept nearly impossible to execute. “It would be pretty hard to teach that age — even women our age — how to sew,” says Tisch.

"We're dealing with the aspirations and the birthday parties of 10-year-old girls," says Wiatt. "We want Fashionology L.A. to be the most fantastic memory that they’re going to have."

Elizabeth Wiatt & Jamie Tisch: Ladies Who Launch [Harper's Bazaar]

As Gwyneth explains, "I was very, very attached to my hair. I grew it when I was pregnant. I still had hair from when my father was alive. I made it like a talisman. And then I was ready to let go of it, and so I chopped it off and ... aaah!" Anyone else find the dichotomy between explaining that your loved and adored father was somehow represented in your long stringy Rapunzel-like hair, and that one day you were just kind of like, "Eh! Guess it's time to say buh-bye" very, well, very Gwyneth Paltrow? But getting back to the case of her Jolie-envy, it seems that Martin may not even have to roll around with Paltrow after all — she's "open" to adoption just like every other famous woman in Hollywood, and seems to be implying that choosing not to adopt is pretty much like giving the middle finger to all the starving infants out there.

• GWYNETH PALTROW: 'I MAY FORCE MYSELF TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN' [Us]

(Images created by Cheryl Campbell; click image to enlarge)

Harper's Index, May 2008 [Harper's]
Julianne Moore, Portrait Of A Lady [Harper's Bazaar]

Earlier: The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: The Couture Economy, Demi Moore & Joan Collins' Issue With Rich Guys
•the Harper's (Bazaar) Index: Designer Diets, Little Miss Mortimer & Lindsay Lohan's DUIs
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: J. Lo's Diamonds, Giuliani And The Cougar Allure
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: January 2008
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: December 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: September 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: August 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: July 2007

(Graphics created by Cheryl Campbell; click on image to enlarge)

Related: Harper's Index (March 2008) [Harper's]

Lindsay's Super Comeback [Harper's Bazaar]

Blonde Ambition: Tinsley Mortimer [Harper's Bazaar]

Earlier: The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: J. Lo's Diamonds, Giuliani And The Cougar Allure
The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: January 2008
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: December 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: September 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: August 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: July 2007