We won't tell you exactly how we'd planned to bring it off (only that it involved Seth in a bathrobe, STV in booty shorts, and—in an eerie coincidence—proprietary "HUFF POST" watermarks), but we can guarantee it would have had higher production values than the Playboy founder's seemingly tossed-off card, the cover of which the Huffington Post has a copy of. Though twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon are present and randomly body-painted, there is a disappointing lack of either face-kicking or holiday blasphemy. With just a little more effort, we're certain a nativity scene could have been recreated where the Shannons nurse Hef in a manger, while the Three Wise Girls Next Door approach bearing gifts of silicone, cannabis, and little purple pills.

• Hef's Christmas Card: Bodypainted Twins (PHOTO) [HuffPo]