In the clip above, Tina says that while she was doing the Bazaar shoot she thought, "Yeah, I look like this!" ... then they turn the wind machine off.

Below, she explains that her daughter is now old enough to pick her own Halloween costume, so the days of stuffing her in a ham sandwich costume and laughing at her are over. Tina doesn't want her to go as a "Barbie butterfly princess," but at least she doesn't want to be one of the Girls Next Door.

Until this weekend, Hollywood's code of honor has been revolved around an iron commandment: We do not release more than one horror film per weekend. And thus, since the days of Chaplin and Pickford, no third-tier, shamelessly exploitative attempt to ring dollars out of the pockets of gullible teenagers looking for cheap screams has had to compete on its opening weekend with any other third tier, shamelessly exploitative attempt to ring dollars out of the pockets of gullible teenagers looking for cheap screams.

And thus has Hollywood grown and flourished, its blessings divided equally for its rulers to rejoice.

The opening weekend for these films is especially important as once word gets out of what a low-rent, awful-not-in-a-good-way, tedious march through hell these movies are, their grosses typically fall off something in the range of 99.99999 percent in their second weekends.

So although Final Desitination hauled in $23.3 million for Warner Brothers this weekend and Halloween 2 brought Papas Weinstein a nothing-to-sneeze at $17.4 million, the pure tragic dilemma Hollywood is pondering is: why couldn't Halloween have moved to another weekend (say one closer to, uh, Halloween), letting Final Desitination sop up the entire horror shopping dollar of a combined 40.7 this weekend, and then gotten its own 40 millionish some other week?

The scuttlebutt around town is that Halloween had been booked for this weekend when Final Desitination nosed its way onto this precious late summer patch of sand. So, people ask, facing up to that showdown, why couldn't the Weinsteins see what was clear to the entire world and its grandmother: that Final Desitination was clearly the stronger of the two low-rent exploitation franchises (it's even, as the title suggests, in 3-D), and seeing that, why couldn't they swallow their scheduling pride and get the fuck out of the way?

As with many things Weinsteins, we can glean motives only through a glass darkly, but a few hypotheses have surfaced about why this tragedy had to happen:

• Moving the release date was prohibitively costly.
• There was a belief that FD3-D skews female and H2 skews male so there is room for both.
• This was the Weinstein's first window after the Inglorious Basterds release and thus their chance post-Basterds to get Halloween out during the summer months.
• With their flurry of deals that they are getting into and out of, they may have needed to release Halloween by a certain, because perhaps of some expiring treaty.
• They couldn't swallow their pride because they can't swallow their pride. That's why they they call them Weinsteins after all.

Whatever the true reason, one horror scenario is going to haunt the dreams of Hollywood executives until the end of their days; when studio chiefs go to sleep at night it will be the face of those lost millions looming before them, along with the eternally unknowable specter of what could have been.

First of all, we found the dress that Gayheart wears (briefly) at the the beginning of the movie. It's a Halloween costume called the "Support Our Troops Sexy Halloween Costume." Well, don't you worry, there is no sexy here!

As for Dane's pornstar name, Cocaine Manor, that could be true. There really is a Manor Drive in San Carlos, California, which is right near where he graduated from high school. Still no explanation on how he ended up with a dog named cocaine.

Thanks to some of the commenters, we gave a closer look to minute 2:54, where a random table is on view for a few seconds (sideways, natch). What is on the table? Another camera (ha!), a vase, a pack of cigs, a wineglass a candle, and something that looks suspiciously like a pipe. It's on the right, and it has a cylindrical shaft and a bulbous head. But it appears to be resting on something, so it's either inactive (you ever put a recently used pipe on something? Disaster usually ensues) or, you know, something else.

More suspicious is the cigarette that Gayheart and Peniche are smoking starting about 1:25. They both hold onto it for quite a bit of time, but no smoke is coming off it and it doesn't appear to get getting even smaller. Also, the tip seems to be glowing blue. Is it just not lit, or is it a "magic cigarette?" Or maybe it's one of these?

This means that as the film's release date (Oct. 30th) approaches, we'll all be treated to more interviews with Jackson family members as well every bizarre Michael Jackson hanger-on under the sun, just like we have every day for the last few weeks! Goodness gracious Mable.

Reports the LA Times:

Although several studios expressed interest, Sony emerged the winner by agreeing to pay Jackson's estate and AEG Live at least $60 million for the film rights.

As part of the deal, Sony will deduct the cost of making the movie from the $60-million minimum. After covering its costs for distribution and marketing, it then will split the rest of the film's revenue with the Jackson Estate and AEG via a complex formula that was redacted from a copy of the agreement filed in court.

The film, to be directed by High School Musical director Kenny Ortega, is titled This Is It and will be released worldwide. It'll include some 3-D scenes, which means I'll definitely be seeing it, as will all of you, because who can possibly resist seeing MJ moonwalk in 3-D? Um, nobody!

· As research for his upcoming drama Organic, in which Ford plays a gruff macrobiotic dieter who rescues his kidnapped children with the money quote, "Not in my eco-friendly vegan cafe!"

· That's isn't a peapod — it's a green, pustule-covered pointer finger.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

What may have seemed like a little fun for the German supermodel has deeply upset Hindu scholars, who feel Klum should make a public apology for posing as a sacred figure.

Indo-American statesman Rajan Zed says, "Goddess Kali is highly revered in Hinduism and she is meant to be worshipped in temples and not to be used in clubs for publicity stunts or thrown around loosely for dramatic effects.

"Hindus welcome Hollywood and other entertainment industries to immerse themselves in Hinduism, but they should take it seriously and respectfully, and not just use the religion for decoration or to advance their selfish agenda. Casual flirting sometimes results in pillaging serious spiritual doctrines and revered symbols and hurting the devotees."

Klum was asked by reporters how she came up with the idea. She responded:

“It was actually my assistant’s idea. [Seal] and I were in India last year, so she said, ‘Why don’t you do an Indian goddess? Like a scary Indian goddess?’ And I said ‘OK!’ So then she Googled around and she found Kali and showed me a picture, and I loved it. I loved it because she’s so mean and killed all these different people and [had] fingers hanging off [her] and little shrunken heads everywhere"

If her heart was really that set on coming as a female warrior with extra appendages, we really wish she would have just taken our Defamer Costumes suggestion of 12-fingered Bond girl Gemma Arterton. Sure, it might not have had the "wow" factor of a Kali, but then again it posed far less of a risk of alienating a billion worshipers worldwide.

[Photo credit: FilmMagic via Best Week Ever]

· Cypress Hill host Haunted Hill at The Wiltern.
· Avalon's End Of The World Halloween Weekend has Mickey Avalon, James Zabiela and Damian Lazarus
· The Dusk-to-Dawn Horrorthon features splattery chills all night at the Egyptian. Santa Sangre, Pieces, Scream...And Die!, and more!
· For comedy lovers, Killgore at the UCB Theater is the "bloodiest, goriest, messiest show UCBTLA has ever seen! The first two rows of seats will be given plastic sheeting to avoid being spattered with blood!" Awesome.
· Echo Park Time Travel Mart, aka the 826LA storefront, presents A Very Special Halloween Dead Author Reading.
· Halloween Silent Movie with Clark Wilson: Phantom of the Opera features live accompaniment to the 1925 classic by Clark Wilson on Disney Hall's giant McDonald's french fry serving organ.
· "Horror-rock kingpin" Roky Erickson hosts Night of the Vampire at the El Rey.
· Echoplex hosts the Bondage Ball fetish gala.

You're Angelina Jolie, of course! No matter what your body-type or mouth-size, everyone will instantly recognize you as the international, orphan-amassing sex symbol if you wear the signature accessories (including roller skates—her character's preferred method of transportation) from her latest starring vehicle, Changeling, in theaters today! Should you want to drag your own Brad along, simply print out and trace this pattern on his lower back with a Sharpie, add a porkpie hat and some aviators and (if available) a stroller, and you're good to go!

• Previously: Defamer Halloween Costume Ideas, Vol. V: The Maverick [Defamer]

Dressed up as Ronald Reagan, she offered a hearty, beyond-the-grave endorsement of John McCain (O RLY?) before Grandma Barbara led her into the weeds with a tortured Sarah Palin analogy and an appreciative Werther's Original. Then, as Hasselbeck is wont to do, she gave Joy Behar (as Teddy Roosevelt) a Cold War-worthy slam. Happy Halloween, ladies: who knew we could be frightened so early in the day?

• The View [ABC]

Boomp3.com

A couple of fiendish film flashers got their Halloween jollies in a day early as they spooked spectacular sassy screen star Kate Hudson at popular celeb hangout, LAX. The fiends wore spooky burlap sacks over the faces and shouted scary phrases like “Boo!” and “John McCain won the election!” while jumping out in front of the Raising Helen star.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Just in time for Halloween, the same digital artiste who conceived the original has sent us his rendering of our proposed dream cast in the breakfast mascot roles they were clearly born to play. Seriously—we don't mean to toot our own horns here, but Jake channels his delicious inspiration right down to those half-cocked eyebrows, wonky smirk, and sleepy boo eyes. What are you waiting for, Hollywood. Poor some milk on this sucker and make some magic happen!

• Previously: Javier Bardem's Next Role To Turn Your Milk Chocolatey [Defamer]

If the beloved Oscars bumbler was just trying to emulate the Hell's Kitchen star, we think a British accent might have helped the illusion along. Instead, it just seems like a spectacular uncorking of decades of bottled rage. Years pressed beneath Gelman's thumb, having to remember all those dumb celebrity names while listening to your shrill co-hosts yammer on at length about their upcoming children and Christmas albums—it's all enough to drive any mild-mannered TV fixture to lose it. Live! [Regis and Kelly]

• Previously: Defamer Halloween Costume Ideas, Vol. IV: The Rebel
• Defamer Halloween Costume Ideas, Vol. III: The Dreamer
• Defamer Halloween Costume Ideas, Vol. II: The Aberration
• Defamer Halloween Costume Ideas, Vol. I: The Visionaries [Defamer]

You're Shia LaBeouf! For added verisimilitude, borrow a glued-on finger from Gemma Arterton and roam around your Halloween party dangling your shattered pinkie and moaning how Michael Bay will never stand for this on Monday. Or a jock strap, if one of your more drunken friends feels like complementing you as one of the thorny, ball-thwacking orbs from Indiana Jones 4. Then top it all off with a videotaped, homoerotic slapfight. The possibilities are endless!

Serial Manson-fucker Evan Rachel Wood.

Breakout Addams and occasional Black Snake Moaner, Christina Ricci.

Happening torch singer, Zooey Deschanel.

Firestarting Hellboy sidekick and Kath & Kim casualty, Selma Blair.

Why an Arclight Usher, of course! Everyone's favorite seat-finding, running-time-announcing cinematic cruise directors make quick and easy costumes that anyone (who lives in L.A.) will recognize and appreciate immediately. For added authenticity, ramble on at length about Synecdoche, NY's Oscar chances and the time you had to ask Quentin Tarantino to stop sucking his companion's toes during a particularly slow stretch of There Will Be Blood.

• Previously: Defamer Halloween Costume Ideas, Vol. II: The Aberration [Defamer]

You are (formerly) 12-fingered Bond girl Gemma Arterton! For added fun, accessorize with some delicious marzipan finger candy and have your 007 of choice gnaw off each extra digit at key points in the evening — preferably whenever accosted by pals beckoning "Trick or treat!" Why not both?

• Previously: Defamer Halloween Costume Ideas, Vol. I: The Visionaries [Defamer]

You and a friend are Steven Spielberg and George Lucas on the set of Raiders of the Lost Ark! If you can rustle up a third, dress him up as Indiana Jones, put a red mark on the seat of his pants, and mime raping him all night. Voila! You're a South Park episode.

• Previously: South Park Presents: 'Indiana Jones and the Pinball-Machine Rape of Doom' [Defamer]

Boomp3.com

Famed offspring Rumer Willis was spotted in ultra luxurious Bev Hills over the weekend sporting new crimson colored locks. When asked why she made the decision to embrace her inner big red, Willis explained it was for a string of upcoming Halloween parties. Wilis said, “This season, I’m going to go as two different people —Joan from Mad Men and Pam from The Office— and I didn’t want to wear a wig. So, I just dyed my hair and now I’ll alternate between the outfits from party to party.” Willis felt that she would go with the Pam costume when attending spooky shindigs associated with her family and the more vivacious Joan Holloway costume at other events. Willis added, “I assume that if I was dressed like Joan at my dad’s party, a lot of his friends would hit on me and I’m not sure if I’m fully comfortable with that just yet.” Also before jetting away, Willis practiced her Facebook & MySpace profile photo in the rearview mirror.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.