Gawker: defamer, hairy situations

HuffPo Bravely Investigates Madonna's New Mustache

Kyle Buchanan — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:20:58 EDT

"PHOTOS: Madonna's Movie Premiere With Friends, Facial Hair," promised the headline today on the Huffington Post today, and we dutifully clicked, wondering who would be the latest star to don Hollywood's hottest new accessory: the moustache! Previously an outdated cultural relic, the moustache has undergone a renaissance thanks to actors like George Clooney and Robert Downey, Jr.; would a star of similar stature attending the premiere of Madonna's Filth and Wisdom be the newest member of the facial hair club? Then, we came to the last sentence of the article: "Here are photos of some of the celebrities who came out to support [Madonna] Monday night and, perhaps more surprising for such a perfectionist, a close-up of Madonna's upper lip hair."

Kudos, HuffPo, for allocating resources and a crack team of interns with magnifying glasses to the mysterious case of Madonna's stubbly upper lip. Sure, the pop superstar's facial hair is a somewhat sad excuse for a mustache, even flimsier than the three-week old peach fuzz sported by a heavily concentrating McLovin (and we're surprised to see the site venture down this path so soon after their "Look at 58-Year-Old Anna Wintour's Wrinkles in Close-Up" item bombed a while back), but this investigation reps a brave new frontier for Arianna Huffington's respected news organization. In no time, we expect the to see the editrix personally drawing cum stains that dribble down Sarah Palin's face — and won't our national discourse be better for it?

Madonna Premieres "Filth and Wisdom" with Celebrity Friends [HuffPo]

Naomi Campbell's Bad Luck Streak Continues As Her Hair Decides To Jump Ship

Molly Friedman — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:45:00 EDT

Long ago, we witnessed the frightening effects a bad weave can have on someone like Tyra Banks. Then, we had the misfortune of seeing what happens when John Travolta grew crops of fake hair atop his jolly head. And of course, who can forget Jude Law's T-bone-shaped crew cut earlier this week. But leave it to sanitation worker/phone-throwing criminal Naomi Campbell to reveal the worst and most gruesome display of 'do disasters. Seems even legendary female supermodels who've made a living off their looks can suffer from a condition we've often seen featured on late-night infomercials: ladies losin' their hair. The evidence lies after the jump.

At left, Naomi proudly showed off her naturally defined hairline at a February event by pulling the whole damn mess of it back as tightly as possible. And look how happy she is! She's all, Look Bitches, Fear Me All You Want, But Respect This Bombass Hair. Alas, a more recent photo taken this month reveals a more somber Campbell. Sure, her sad expression may have something to do with that pesky assault charge, but we'd be a bit glum too if noticeable patches of missing hair were visible to one and all. We suggest Naomi appear on Tyra for some good ol' weave advice. Tyra doesn't know much, but when it comes to talking weaves, she's a regular prodigy.

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

HAVE HAIR EXTENSIONS TAKEN A TOLL ON NAOMI CAMPBELL'S VANISHING HAIRLINE? [Mail On Sunday]

Katie Holmes Haircut Turns Cruise Family Into Identical Triplets

Molly Friedman — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Before her marriage to Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes was not considered to be much of a fashion chameleon. Her Dawson's Creek era hairstyle — an unassuming, just-out-of-bed look — matched her sense of style, and there was no reason for her to frequently change her look to keep up with the times. But then came Tom. And Suri. And Posh. And suddenly, Katie's "look" was something to be observed, altering rapidly with each life change, and now, her brand-new page boy cut is a certifiable oddity. We put together a montage of the various styles that Katie has undergone in the last two years; strangely enough, as her hair has gotten shorter and shorter, her transformation has resulted in an eerie resemblance to both Tom's silky cut and little Suri's bob.

First, we reminisce on Katie back in 2006, when she could let her hair loose and long, uninhibited by friendships with severely bobbed Victoria Beckham and uninfluenced by Tom's irresistibly silky sheen. And this February, Katie had made her way into serious short territory. And now? Her cut looks like Mary Stuart Masterson's circa Some Kind Of Wonderful. Perhaps she's prepping for another marathon?

[Photo Credits: Getty, Revealing Entertainment]

KATIE HOLMES DEBUTS NEW SHORTER HAIR DO [Us]