Uh oh, Pepper looks pissed. And Tony looks alone. What happened to all his friends?

Garry Shandling makes his big debut as Senator Stern, so Tony mocks him, naturally.

See Tony is alone. Empty chairs. Empty soul. It's lonely at the top.

But wait, it's Rhodey, he's back...and he looks pissed. And who's that to Rhodey's left? It's Sam Rockwell, as Justin Hammer. Did they walk in together? And where did Pepper go? Where's Happy?

Same sexual chemistry between Pepper and Tony, check. But then again I think RDJ is so charming he could have chemistry with a lamp post... lucky lamp post.

Iron Man is America, and a rock star. And look in the background — it's the Iron Man dancers, thus proving the slutty Halloween rule to be true: any outfit can be made whorish.

These gloves could very well be the best little party favors ever. Please hand these out at Comic Con!

Whiplash is obsessed. See? See? He has newspaper clippings. And newspaper clipping are to stalkers what glasses are to shy mousy girls with a hot girl dying to get out inside: stereotypical. But let's assume that since he's spent so much time cataloguing the family story, that this grudge may go way, way back. Since he's had time to make a scrap book.

Who hit Tony?

The garage is all cleaned up and stocked with new rich guy toys. Bruce Wayne who?

What is happening to Tony's neck?

Yikes it's spreading. Tony is literally turning into an Iron Man. Also, he could be turning into a human computer, which has happened in the Iron Man comics before.

More Justin Hammer, and in perfect timing with Whiplash's "shark" comment.

Nick Fury just wants to get motherfucking Tony onto the motherfucking team.

More Iron Man-ettes. I suspect this may be a banner year for the cosplay fans.

Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff in her Black Widow "business casual" attire.

War Machine prototype!

Is the Black Widow working for Rhodey? Is that her in the background?

Black Widow in her ass kicking attire, is she beating up Happy? I bet Jon Favreau just loved that.

Whiplash finally shows us what his lightsaber whips can do — which is break Tony's car.

Which he does.

I'm still not sold on the Whiplash outfit, but it does look pretty bad ass from behind.

Uh oh — will Tony be Whiplashed in half, or will the bad guy just show off some more? Answer: Show off.

Whiplash has nasty metal mouth.

What is this flying contraption? It looks like it's shooting at Iron Man? Multiple Mecha suits?

A first look at War Machine, and Tony's new suit, with a triangle chest plate. Is this due to the metal veins? Also the background is filled with power suits, almost like an Armor War...

War Machine and Tony fight other mechas and you get a faceful of War Machines shoulder gun, and Tony's fully reconstructed suit, Mark VI. Very nice. So who thinks they are filming the Armor Wars story?

The alleged benefits to the entertainment industry of 3D's latest incarnation are many, if they pan out: 3D supposedly justifies higher ticket prices, 3D projection foils pirates, 3D supposedly turns moviegoing at movie houses into an "event" again. On paper, it's a veritable Manhattan Project solution to all of showbiz's woes. The only people who stand to lose are audiences, who will be forced to dig even deeper into their wallets to shell out more for the up-to-this-point dubious advantage of seeing things float around just in front of the screen.

And there is no guarantee all this will work out. After all the hype, audiences might just decide that the cost of moviegoing has hit a tipping point and they are better off staying home or taking their kids to get messed up on malt liquor in a convenience store parking lot for a fraction the pricetag. If things go that way, a lot of people in Hollywood are going to have a lot of explaining to do.

But this isn't the first time we've been through this. From the dawn of cinema, audiences have had cockamamie inventions foisted on them that were supposed to keep their dollars in the theaters. Some have been wildly successful, most have been disasters. Here's a look back at some of the greats:

Invention: Narrative Film
First Introduced In: 1890's
Alleged Advantage: Instead of just showing pictures of horses running down a track, for instance, films sought to tell a story.
Biggest Drawback: Film pioneers failed to anticipate that by the 1980's, narrative would become obsolete, and viewed as a tactic of artistic imperialism, to be replaced by oblique forms which allow viewers to create their own meanings and rely on indirect referencing to achieve a mise en scene rather than actually telling a story.
Outcome: Had its moment but ultimately doomed by the forces of hipster cinema and post-modern criticism.

Invention: Sound
Introduced In: The Jazz Singer, 1927
Alleged Advantage: Audiences got to hear Jolson singing "Swanee" while they watched him gesticulating in blackface.
Biggest Drawback: Once we let actors start talking, Lindsay Lohan twittering was only a few steps away.
Outcome: Pray as you might for someone to tell them to put a cork in it, talkies are here to stay.

Invention: 3D 1.0
Introduced In: Made its first breakthrough in the 1950's with films such as Vincent Price's House of Wax.
Alleged Advantage: Extra scary to think the monsters were actually in the room with you.
Biggest Drawback: Once audiences realized, ten movies later, that the monsters weren't actually in the room, the massive headaches brought on by 3D glasses no longer seemed worth the price.
Outcome: The fire died out but a tiny ember remained smoldering and waiting...

Invention: The Tingler
First Introduced In: 1950's for the film The Tingler
Alleged Advantage: Devices placed in seats made audiences fell they were actually being felt up by the onscreen villain.
Biggest Drawback: Being felt up by a screen villain isn't necessarily what one wants in their moviegoing experience.
Outcome: Like most of the gimmicks brought to the movie house by schlock producer William Castle, The Tingler's moment was not to last.

Invention: Sensurround
First Introduced In: 1970's disaster films such as Earthquake.
Alleged Advantage: Massive sound effect would make seats and your bones shake with onscreen rumbling.
Biggest Drawback: No one really likes having their bones shake when they are not at a rock concert.
Outcome: Sensurround didn't make it but it's memory lives on in the vision of Michael Bay and the decades of annoyingly loud movies that have followed.

Invention: 3D 2.0
First Introduced In: The Stewardesses in 1970.
Alleged Advantage: A new processing innovation reinvigorated 3D for the zany 1970's. The number "3" was especially advantageous to filmmakers in underscoring the specialness of the third installments of franchises as it was thus used in Jaws 3D, Amityville 3D and Friday the 13th, Part 3D.
Biggest Drawback: Despite the "D" audiences were still stuck watching a third Amityville Horror film.
Outcome: Again the flame died, but the fire was never extinguished.

Invention: Web Driven Production
First Introduced In: Snakes on a Plane, 2006
Alleged Advantage: Popular netsroots outcry spurred filmmakers to tailor the film, then in progress to the needs of their audiences, inserting extra nudity and swearing.
Biggest Drawback: Once fanboys on the internet are given any actual power, the collapse of modern civilization can not be far behind.
Outcome: After all their noise, the fanboys tired of their plaything before it made it to market. Snakes grossed a mere $34 million giving it the most off-kilter hype to grosses ratio in film history.

The brilliant graphic illustration above is a very scientific illustration of just how to turn watchable televison programming into fast-food shilling drivel. Here's the technical explanation of just what's going on above:

In one embodiment, as shown in FIG. 1, a conventional advertisement 10 shown during televisin program's commercial break promotes a new product 12 of, for example, a fast-food establishment. The advertisement 10 is attempting to sell the particular product 12. A program-advancing element 16, such as the knife in this particular example, is introduced into the advertisement 10 to form a program-integrated advertisement 14. The program-advancing element relates to the television program and can be a program-promoting element, i.e., a viewer associates the knife with the program. Additionally, the two characters dealing with the knife in the program-integrated advertisement 14 may themseves be program-advancing elements, if they are characters in the program.

We came across this technological marvel via The Hollywood Reporter's legal blog, THR, esq which wrote about what must be one of the most amazing lawsuits of all time. This legalistic rabbit hole's silliness is so profound that it makes us think that it might be time to throw the entire judicial system out the window and muddle by on mob rule for a few decades.

THR writes:

Delaware-based ad agency Denizen is suing media agency Mindshare for stealing an idea to integrate a brand of Vaseline into a Lifetime miniseries called "Maneater."

In the complaint, Denizen says that TV networks face the problem of viewers not paying attention to ads in between segments of a show and claims to have "created the concept of 'program integrated advertisement' in order to entice viewers to pay attention to advertisements in various media, including, but not limited to, television, radio, and the Internet.

Denizen isn't actually suing for stealing the idea of product placement, but they are accusing Mindshare of making off with trade secrets about how to implement world class product placement that the Denizen folks supposedly let them in on during a meeting between the two companies.

But Denizen isn't just claiming spuriously, "yeah, we thought of that first"; they actually filed a patent on product placement, which they call "Program Integrated Commercials." Denizen's patent must rank as one of the most amazing legal documents ever produced, demonstrating the legal system's ability to absorb any level of ridiculousness and turn it into mind-numbing deadly serious jargon.

The patent starts out bemoaning the desperate state of advertising, noting the wreckage TiVo has wrecked and the failures of basically every attempt to get people excited about watching ads, what with these ungrateful viewers changing channels and fast forwarding and all.

The patent then claims, "The present invention comprises a method and system for incorporating thematic content from a particular television program into product or service advertisements (commercials) for a sponsor or the program or network."

Actually, when one gets into it the invention is far more sinister than merely sticking some products into a TV show wrapped around cockamamie plot points, but involves an attempt to take the characters out of the show and stick them into the actual ads based on cockamamie plot points, making the audience have to watch the ads themselves to be able to follow the plot of the show.

The verbal contortions in which the patent goes to explain this are fairly breathtaking. The following graph, for instance, attempts to codify this breakthrough in the science of forcing products into people's brains: "The program-advancing element is specific to a program or is associated with a program element such that it is capable of being recognized by a viewer. This includes, but is not limited to, character actions, setting descriptions, objects, sound recognition, and character dialogue, etc."

That's right, Denizen thunk that up! Take that Sterling Cooper!

You can browse this entire historic document by clicking one of the thumbnails below.

OMGICU has been on a campaign to bring Morgan to Twitter since Tuesday, according to the Wall Street Journal, after collecting such stalker sightings as these:

• "tracy morgain [sic] is walking around soho eating blueberries looking confused."
• "Just saw Tracy Morgan driving a Yellow Lamborghini with a blond woman listening to Sade."
• "Tracy Morgan at the Bowery whole foods. I smiled but he gave me a mean look back. He was with a lady."

Welcome to Twitter, Tracy. Every week is Shark Week!

Oh look! He just delivered his first tweet:

Poetry.

Ok, sad thing first: a good Samaritan reset the password and tried to alert Sarah. But he also posted the new password, causing multiple people to try to log in at once, freezing the account for 24 hours. And now, the account has been deleted! Which is, as we said, maybe destruction of evidence? So for now this is, we think, all we'll get to see from this email account (if anyone finds evidence of saved emails, let us know.)

The full timeline of events, with corroborating evidence of the legitimacy of these screengrabs, is here. Here's why it all looks convincing:

• The emails to Ivy Frye, a Palin aide who's mentioned in the earlier email stories specifically wondering how best to hide her correspondence with the governor.
• The attached contact list (below) features an email address for husband Todd Palin that is legit. As well as an apparently genuine phone number for Bristol Palin and an address for Beth Leschper, Palin's deputy communications director.
• The email from Amy McCorkell, a known associate of Palin's from Wasilla who might have the governor's personal email address.
• Emails to and from Lt Governor Sean Parnell about a local radio talk host.
• Calls to the phone number listed for Bristol Palin apparently go to her voicemail.
• The public profile for the gov.palin address dates its last update to April of this year—well before she became McCain's running mate. So if it's a hoax, it's a hoax that began long before anyone outside of Alaska cared about Palin.
• We haven't seen these family photos before. Have we?
• The previously accessible public profiles for gov.sarah@yahoo and gov.palin@yahoo were both deleted at the same time.

Here are the screenshots of the emails saved before the account went dark, along with the contact list. It's newsworthy and we will not be taking it down!

CONTACT LIST

Beth Leschper (Beth Leschper SOA) [Edit]
beth.leschper@alaska.gov
Blanche Kallstrom (Blanche) [Edit]
mbkrdk@starband.net
Bristol Palin (Bristol) [Edit]
bristol_palin@hotmail.com
Chuck Heath (Chuck) [Edit]
chckheath@yahoo.com
fek9wnr@yahoo.com (Todd) [Edit]
fek9wnr@yahoo.com
ftb907@yahoo.com (Frank) [Edit]
ftb907@yahoo.com
Heather Bruce (Heather) [Edit]
khbruce@gci.net
ivy.frye@alaska.gov (Ivy SOA) [Edit]
ivy.frye@alaska.gov
ivyfrye@yahoo.com (Ivy Personal) [Edit]
ivyfrye@yahoo.com
Judy Patrick (Judy Patrick) [Edit]
jpphoto@mtaonline.net
kris.perry@alaska.gov (Kris Perry SOA) [Edit]
kris.perry@alaska.gov
krisandclark@yahoo.com (Kris Personal) [Edit]
krisandclark@yahoo.com
paymckhea@yahoo.com (Molly) [Edit]
paymckhea@yahoo.com
Roseanne Hughes (Roseanne Hughes SOA) [Edit]
roseanne.hughes@alaska.gov
Sally Heath (Mom) [Edit]
salheath@mtaonline.net
Sean Parnell (Sean Personal) [Edit]
sparnell@alaska.com
Sharon Leighow (Sharon SOA) [Edit]
sharon.leighow@alaska.gov
Sleighow@aol.com (Sharon Leighow Personal) [Edit]
Sleighow@aol.com
Track Palin (Track) [Edit]
track_44@hotmail.com

UPDATE:

ARLINGTON, VA — Today, McCain-Palin 2008 Campaign Manager Rick Davis issued the following statement concerning reports about Governor Palin's email and an invasion of privacy:
"This is a shocking invasion of the Governor's privacy and a violation of law. The matter has been turned over to the appropriate authorities and we hope that anyone in possession of these emails will destroy them. We will have no further comment."

Point one: legitimacy confirmed! Point two: I guess we'll have to blow up the internet now?

But the cosmetics are still what makes this one-off car something special. Ford's turned this $80,000 Shelby into KITT thanks to a sweet-looking black-on-black paint job, the addition of 20" Shelby "Super Snake" wheels, 90% tinted windows all-around and of course, the Auto Indulgence 15" LED "Knight Rider" security scanner lightbar. Sure, it's all stuff you can buy off the rack — but when combined together, it makes this "King of the Road" look bad-ass.

But what's great about this customized Shelby is when the novelty of cruising around in KITT wears out, and you've turned the lightbar off, you remember you're still driving a Shelby GT500KR. That said, there's now even greater incentive to pull to a stop, shift into first and floor it. Because when you do, your world shrinks into a tunnel of motion with only a pinpoint of clarity ahead, wild-eyed narration provided by an unnatural banshee wail emanating from the supercharger. You watch, almost from outside of your body, as time dilates and you are no longer subject to the rules of physics. You feel as though this motor will pull the stars from their places in the heavens. And then the rev limiter brings it all back to reality.

A sideways grin spread across my face as my autonomic nervous system registers how close I just came to some form of fiery death. The manic rush, instead of acting like a deterrent, plays a powerful stimulant, and you do it again, and again, and again.

That's because the GT500KR is a much better car than its predecessor, the Mustang GT500. The GT500 is a mean and nasty car, operating at the limits of the chassis — it's twitchy, overpowered and hard to live with. Driving it always makes you feel like you're toeing the line of control, even when toting the groceries. To be perfectly honest, the notion of driving a GT500 with more horsepower was, at the outset, mildly terrifying. But the GT500KR is much more refined — the extra power is met with a much better suspension thanks to upgraded KR-only dampers, springs and shocks. All of it works together to provide a far more confident drive than the GT500. No more skipping across expansion joints at speed on a sweeping freeway corner, only planted, firm and predictable driving over the bumps and potholes of Michigan roads. But, then why the taken-to-the-limits feeling? It's because that added confidence is underscored with the notion that instead of being more controllable, the razors edge has just been raised to a new and more frightening level.

In spite of this knowledge, you smile like any man charming a Cobra; resigned to the danger, but addicted to the exhilaration of it. It doesn't matter if the car handles incredibly well for a solid axle design on a heavy car with monster mill, it doesn't matter if the interior has no upgrades over a standard 'Stang, it doesn't matter that the windows are tinted so dark you strain to see headlights in the night because none of that changes the mechanical the wail of obscenities the supercharger hurls at you as it takes over your world.

People point. They stare. The silent back and forth sweep of the red light draws the questions of curious passers-by. Camera phones are wielded, friends are called over and disbelief removed. But in the face of the crushing power of this car, the tight hold that childhood memories maintain over the aura of KITT shrink, and become insignificant as you pull runs — again, and again, and again. The show may be in need of some "Turbo Boost," but this GT500KR has all the boost we need.

Photo Credit: Alex C. Conley

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.

Finally, a motorcar that defines indulgence. 550 horsepower...standard. Racing-tuned suspension...standard. Xenon headlamps with Infrared night vision...standard. Metallic paint with nanotech-enhanced camouflage, access to military satellite...imaging...self-regenerating and damage...FBI network...high-speed internet...solar-powered hybrid engine...artificial intelligence...voice-activated GPS...standard. Driver? Optional. But really...enough about me.

But if even this one doesn't do it for ya, here's a link to the Yahoo! Movies site that's got the real sweetness. Try not to get a cavity. (Hat tip to Manny!) [Yahoo! Movies]

UPDATED 'KNIGHT RIDER' REVS UP TO RETURN TO NBC FOR SPECIAL TWO-HOUR MOVIE EVENT ON FEBRUARY 17 AS NEW KITT CAR IS REVEALED "Knight Rider" Cast Justin Bruening, Deanna Russo, Sydney Tamiia Poitier and Bruce Davison Participate at the Unveiling Event Showcasing the Customized KITT Ford Mustang to Be Featured in Movie Dave Bartis ("Heist," "The O.C.") and Doug Liman ("Mr. and Mrs. Smith," "The Bourne Identity") to Serve as Executive Producers; David Hasselhoff, the Star of the Original "Knight Rider" Series, Appears as a Special Guest Star in His Original Role as Michael Knight NBC Also Forms Partnership with Ford Motor Company That Provides for Unique Content Opportunity BURBANK - December 12, 2007 - As "Knight Rider" — NBC's iconic 1980s television classic that became a runaway success, comes roaring back to life on the network with an updated sequel that will air as a two-hour movie event on Sunday, February 17 (9-11 p.m. ET) — NBC unveiled the new customized KITT Ford Mustang to be featured in the series in a press event held at NBC's Burbank Studios today. The movie stars Justin Bruening ("Cold Case," "All My Children"), Deanna Russo ("NCIS," "The Young and the Restless"), Sydney Tamiia Poitier ("Veronica Mars," "Grindhouse") and Bruce Davison ("Breach," "Close to Home"). In addition, David Hasselhoff (NBC's "America's Got Talent") — who starred in the popular lead role as Michael Knight for four seasons during the original series — returns as the same character in a special guest-star appearance. Will Arnett (NBC's "30 Rock," "Blades of Glory") will provide the voice of KITT. Dave Bartis ("Heist," "The O.C.") and Doug Liman ("Mr. and Mrs. Smith," "The Bourne Identity") serve as executive producers. NBC also has an arrangement with Ford Motor Company that provides for a unique content opportunity that makes the Ford Mustang one of the stars of the movie. The three cars to be employed in the series include the KITT Hero — a Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR that is playing the part of the everyday Hero car with 540 horsepower; the KITT Attack — a super high-speed version of the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR Hero car that transforms into Attack mode with the help of air-ride technology and specialized body parts — and a KITT Remote, which is a driverless Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR version of the Hero vehicle.

As the original story resumes, the new KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand) is absolutely the coolest car ever created: its supercomputer capable of hacking almost any system; its weapons systems efficient; and its body — thanks to its creator's work and nanotechnology — is capable of actually shifting shape and color. Plus, its artificial intelligence makes it the ideal crime-fighting partner: logical, precise and possessing infinite knowledge. It is the ultimate car — and someone will be willing to do anything to obtain it.

Sarah Graiman is a 24-year old Ph.D candidate at Stanford University, following in her genius father Charles' (Davison) footsteps. But when men attempt to abduct her, Sarah receives a mysterious call from KITT warning her that he's a creation of Charles, who also invented the first KITT 25 years ago — and that her father is in serious danger.

Sarah and KITT track down her best friend from childhood, Mike Tracer (Bruening), a 23-year-old ex-Army Ranger, whom Sarah hasn't seen since he left home at 18. Having served in Iraq, Mike is now jaded and lost and initially resistant. Eventually he agrees to help Sarah and the two set out to discover who's behind the attempt to procure KITT and find Charles. Along the way, Carrie Rivai (Poitier) plays the agile yet tough FBI agent who has a long-standing friendship with Charles and Sarah. Due to those ties, she is brought into the mix to help in the search.

David Andron is supervising producer and writer. Steve Shill ("Dexter," "The Tudors"), also a co-executive producer, directs the two-hour movie from Universal Media Studios and Dutch Oven Productions.

We've heard mixed sentiments about the film, and we've got sort of high standards for the Speed Racer remake based on inflated memories of how much we loved the show in our youth, but if someone was to make book on whether or not we were going to see this on the biggest screen we could find &mdash we'd take that action. [USA Today]

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