Over the weekend, an entrepreneurial online hacker going by the telling name of "Trainreq" posted the two photos of Miley playing dress-up with her iPhone and picking up on that whole wet t-shirt trend to the right and, according to alleged time stamps, they were taken in October 2007, meaning Miley had yet to blow out her 15th birthday candle. Adding an exclamation point to this latest Cyrus Photo Scandal is the hacker's claim that he has "worse pictures" than these. So where oh where could such an underage girl get the inspiration for "artfully" done point-and-zoom collections? Oh, right.

From her Where My Cokepants At? shoot with mother of the century Dina, to enlisting C-listers like Vanessa Minnillo to eat her top off for her, Lindsay Lohan has been a fan of grainy amateur photo shoots for years. Even an occasion as non-momentous as Jeremy Piven's birthday serves as an excuse to put on her best nude-hued bikini and imitate a call girl. So for those of you embarrassingly salivating at Miley and her prematurely dirty mind? Make sure to send a thank-you note to Lindsay and her bountiful assets, without which little girls everywhere wouldn't even know how to mangle their pout into "sexy" mode.

[Photo credits: Egotastic, AOL, Nerve]

• MILEY CYRUS (NOT) NAKED IN THE SHOWER, PLUS A WHOLE NEW SEX SCANDAL [Egotastic]
• MILEY CYRUS NUDE PHOTO [Allies Wireless]

And Dennings's smitten blog post from May about her "redonkulous superhuman" director (excerpted after the jump)? That's probably just a genuine gesture of professional respect:

I must note that I'm in Texas at the moment, filming a movie with redonkulous superhuman Robert Rodriguez. And as I tilted my head to look at the pavement tonight while we were talking I felt the ground give way beneath me and I've been a peanut butter person ever since. Holla

Holla! Of course, in the same breath she demands "the guys from the BBC's Top Gear to go with me everywhere," so maybe she's just friendly like that. Anyway, neither Dennings nor reps for Rodriguez have responded to our requests for comment, so we'll just wish them well and caution Dennings against going public with that Women in Chains! starring role Rodriguez promised her after McGowan suddenly became, ahem, unavailable last week.

• Evil Bread II [Kat Dennings]

Facing the same predicament as The Other Boleyn Girl, Penelope has split the trades; Var calls it "uneven," while THR thinks it's "charming." But just like Boleyn, this adapted tale is armed with one hot blonde and one hot brunette. Though marketing hornballs may have been responsible for ScarNat's press blitz, Reese is wearing her producer's hat on this picture, meaning there probably won't be any funny business. Which is a shame, considering the fact that Reesetina had the boobs/vixen hair/tight dresses thing going on back at the 2006 Toronto Film Festival, where Penelope first debuted. Maybe they just need to rekindle the flame.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

• 'PENELOPE' REVIEW [Var]
• PENELOPE [THR]