Complicating matters further, the new schedule makes for one of the fastest turnarounds in Oscar history: Gil Cates, Bruce Vilanch and godforsaken company have a mere month to put together the Feb. 22 awardscast — the earliest ever, we're told. Considering how this year's will-they-or-won't-they cancellation patter doomed Cates' handiwork from the start, we hope Academy president Sid Ganis will again consider going head-to-head with the inauguration. Every extra day counts (especially for studio campaigns), and even the president-elect will probably be impatient to find out if this might be Kate Winslet's year for Revolutionary Road and/or The Reader. The Oscars are the real American politics, aren't they?

• Inauguration Day uproots Oscar noms [THR]

It's no secret that Oscar ratings have been underwhelming the last few years. Even with a pre-Iggygate Ellen Degeneres hosting the show last year, ratings only managed to climb 2% from the previous year's ceremony (which had dropped 10% from the `06 show). So with Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert setting the B.O. ablaze, it might make sense to train a few tween eyeballs on the ceremony by having Miley present one of the evening's early awards. But if you're wondering why The Rock is on the list of presenters, we're right there with you. We don't have a clue, either.

The "nearly complete" list of presenters includes:
Amy Adams, Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett, Josh Brolin, Steve Carell, George Clooney, Penelope Cruz, Miley Cyrus, Patrick Dempsey, Cameron Diaz, Colin Farrell, Harrison Ford, Jennifer Garner, Tom Hanks, Anne Hathaway, Katherine Heigl, Jonah Hill, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Nicole Kidman, James McAvoy, Queen Latifah, Seth Rogen, Martin Scorsese, Hilary Swank, John Travolta, Denzel Washington, Renee Zellweger, Forest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Alan Arkin and Jennifer Hudson

• FULL STEAM AHEAD FOR OSCARS TELECAST [THR]

As you can see above, the stage is dominated by five clear cylinders, each containing a Gil Cates-controlled, 20-foot-tall OscarBot, which the event's legendary producer will deploy into the audience to carry the winners in the major categories from their seats to the podium. Unfortunately, the run-through meant to demonstrate this amazing innovation to the press did not go smoothly; in a tragic turn, an Academy staffer standing in for Best Supporting Actress nominee Cate Blanchett was killed instantly when her assigned Bot was sent the Swing Sword command instead of the intended Pick Up Gently operation by a frazzled Cates, who later sheepishly admitted he'd "been too damn busy worrying about this strike situation" to properly learn the automaton's complex controls. To his credit, the remorseful button-masher did promise that the victim would get a slide acknowledging her noble sacrifice in the show's In Memoriam segment.

[Photo: WireImage]

• Excitement as Oscar set is revealed [The Press Assocation]

But take heart, awards show fans, for the Academy pledges that the show will go on, either in a "normal" or "We're fucked, but still doing something!" format. Though producer Gil Cates hasn't disclosed any details of his plans for the "alternative" telecast that would be necessitated by a WGA picket-line and the coordinated SAG cutoff of the event's pretty-people supply, he will do everything in his power to honor the tradition of Hollywood's Biggest Night, promising that whatever montage/pre-taped-segment/interpretive-dance-heavy abomination makes it to air will fill every last minute of Oscar's sacred four-and-a-half-hour running time.

• Oscars on, one way or another [Variety]

On the video, Hanks, clad in jeans and a black blazer, sits inside an empty Kodak Theatre, the Oscars venue, where he warmly offers "some helpful hints to guide you through the moment with wit, flair, creativity or at least with brevity."

The first bit of guidance? Winners must get to the stage and finish their speech all within 60 seconds

"Instead of hugging everyone within a 10-row radius, you might have to settle for a few fast high-fives as you sprint down the aisle," Hanks says.

Next, he suggests that winning teams take the "one for all" approach and designate a spokesman to deliver the speech..

Hanks' involvement in this propaganda film is a little troubling; has the two-time Oscar winner already forgotten the giddy attack of uncontrollable verbal diarrhea (curable only by the impatient swelling of the orchestra and a whip-pan of the camera to the audience) that so touchingly afflicts winners during the most important moment of their lives, or has Cates somehow blackmailed the star into cooperating? No matter, the winners can't concern themselves with that; it's better they go down in an angry hail of tuba blasts than forget to thank their parents, their Chad Lowe, or, God forbid, their agent just because they're afraid Cates is going to kill Hanks' dog.

• Academy DVD Offers Acceptance-Speech Tips [AP]