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At the Rome Film Festival screening of teen bloodsucking epic Twilight, Kristen Stewart wondered if her co-star Robert Pattinson had bathed since wrapping production on the film in April of this year. Stewart politely asked if Pattinson had been keeping up with his hygiene and personal grooming. Pattinson explained that he has been taking a lot of sponge baths, but he wanted to stay in character for the sequel. Pattinson said, “I mean I’m playing a 107 year old teen. I’m going to be stinky.”

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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At the 12th annual Hollywood Film Festival awards, popular culture impresario Diablo Cody decided to celebrate Halloween a few days earlier, doing her best zombie walk down the red carpet. Cody described herself as a fresh zombie, just a couple of hours old, but also felt she could go another way with her outfit. Cody said, “It’s a tad Stepfordy too. Like if Pris from Blade Runner was somebody’s wife.”

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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At the London Film Festival, W. star Josh Brolin was so excited to be in London that he wanted to shout it from the rooftops. However, Brolin opted to shout next to his co-stars Elizabeth Banks and Thandie Netwon. A raspy Brolin said, “Whooooaaaa! I love London and I love this movie!”

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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Walking the velvety red steps at the third annual Rome Film Festival, acting legend Al Pacino delivered one of his more popular catch phrases to his adoring public. Pacino titled his sunglasses slightly and unleashed a mighty “HOO-ah!” to a thundering round of applause.

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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The stakes have been raised this year at the Justin Timberlake celebrity golf tournament in Las Vegas. Instead of the usually celebrities playing with a few fans and having a casual, fun game of golf, the celebs and now fans have to play 18 holes with popular television personality Ellen DeGeneres on their back. DeGeneres doesn’t feel she’s an obstacle or hindrance, but is instead supportive and helpful. DeGeneres said, “Who doesn’t enjoy a hug? I know I do. So, I’m just offering support.”

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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The creative and sales departments of popular fictitious advertising agency Sterling Cooper hit the back 9 for a lil’ company retreat on Monday afternoon. The typically Mad Men became a group of Mellow Men despite going over—very over—par on their outing. The usually dapper Don Draper enjoyed a relaxed look. Draper said, “No one bothered us. No one asked me for advice or to come home with them. It was refreshing.”

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen is just another celebrity to be added to the list of individuals copping with an irrational fear. While her fear isn’t as debilitating as egomaniac/talk show host Tyra Banks’ fear of dolphins or any other celebrities’ fear of running into Gary Busey, Momsen suffers from a fear of giant talking fried foods. A special screening of the sex comedy Sex Drive served as an intervention for Momsen so she could finally face her fear. Before descending down the red carpet, Momsen, who was breathing heavily, slowly approached the donut, but quickly turned tail as soon as the donut said, “Hola.” When asked for a comment, the giant donut said, “I scare a lot of people. It’s okay. Then again, a lot of people want to eat me. So, it evens itself out."

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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At the kick off event of L.A. Spring 2009 Fashion week, Dark Knight star Maggie Gyllenhaal was put to work as a wardrobe malfunction preventive specialist. In other words, Gyllenhaal had the difficult task of checking model and their outfit to make sure there was nothing poking out or the potential to poke or pop out while on the runway. Gyllenhaal said, “Nothing ruins a good fashion show like an unnecessary dash of lady business.”

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Comedic legend Bill Murray came up for a quick breath of fresh air and a dash of natural light at the premiere of City of Ember in Manhattan on Tuesday. Murray had taken a cartography course in between films and decided to apply the newly acquired knowledge to the sprawling urban jungle to craft a map of his favorite pizza places and easiest passageways to near subways and cab stands. Murray said, “I’ve been living in the city for quite some time, but never hurts to have the upper hand when running away from somebody you said you’d call back and never did.”

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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At the AFI Night At The Movies event held at the Arclight, beloved Hollywood icon Dustin Hoffman broke into a rather pitchy rendition of “Hound Dog” with Bullseye, the Target mascot. Hoffman and Bullseye fielded some requests from the crowd, but due to Bullseye’s limited vocal range, they were forced to perform “Hound Dog” one more time. After the encore, Hoffman hoped that Bullseye expand his song category in the future. Hoffman said, “I would love to do some old standards one night with old Bully. A night of Cole Porter? Bully is good, but he has a long ways to go."

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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At a press conference announcing the start of physical production on Sherlock Holmes, Robert Downey Jr. tried his best to get his co-star Rachel McAdams to crack a smile. Downey asked McAdams about the itsy bitsy spider’s journey down the waterspout and how the rain lightly came down on her arm, but still no smile. Not even a smirk. Then Downey Jr. started to softly sing a Beyonce song, but the Mean Girls star remained tight-lipped. As Downey began to search the deep recesses of his mind, he pulled out a fairly recent chestnut. Downey cleared his throat as his face twitched slightly then tilted his head to the side and asked, “Are you going to full retard with your performance? Or half retard?” McAdams’ smile appeared like a rainbow after heavy rainfall and Downey breathed a major sigh of relief.

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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At the Fox Reality Awards, Corey Feldman took time out of his busy schedule to soothe the frayed nerves of everyone affected by the current state of the economy and the upcoming presidential election. Feldman said, “Don’t worry about anything. I got this. Sues and me are going to Washington right after this event and we’re going to solve everything. We saved the Haimster, so we could probably save the McCain campaign and Wall Street before our first coffee break.”

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Ballistic: Ecks VS Sever star Antonio Banderas sought a small dash of spiritual guidance before receiving an award at the annual San Sebastian Film Festival. Banderas gave a dry run of his acceptance speech. The only counsel God gave was to thank Him first and multiple times through out the speech. “Don’t you think that one mention at the beginning is justified?" Banderas replied. "I won’t come off as how do you say…needy?” God shrugged. “Look, dude, it’s your speech," he said. "Say whatever you want. I’m just trying to offer some constructive notes.”

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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America has spent much of the summer of 2008 falling in love all over again with Robert Downey Jr. It wasn't only his acting prowess, mind you, but also his fantastic facial hair. However, the changing of the seasons means that it's time for him to shave off his beloved goofy mustache. The Iron Man debuted his (mostly) clean shaven look at the UK premiere for Tropic Thunder. Downey Jr. said, “I think the mustache had ran its course. It tickled my wife when we kissed. It was an excellent flavor saver. For a while, it smelled like a Robeks and I loved it. Now, I have to go to work and become an adult all over again.”

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At the premiere of the blockbuster rom-com My Best Friend’s Girl, Jason Biggs went the extra mile to ensure that the press photographed his preferred side. Biggs admitted that he may have been influenced by a recent episode of Entourage, but he’s always a bit sheepish about the right side of his face. Biggs said, “I think there’s a couple of crow’s feet on that side that the Photoshop wizards forgot to remove.” Biggs firmly planted himself in front of the poster until all of the invited guests had walked all the way down the red carpet and into the theater.

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Proving that there’s no age limit on sex appeal, Al Pacino had the women swooning at the after party for Righteous Kill. Pacino chalked up his reinstated animal magnetism to the fact that he wears sunglasses at night. Pacino said, “Girls love a guy in shades. True story. I learned that on the set of The Godfather from Diane Keaton.” Pacino also felt that the shades allow him to get away with more. Pacino explained, “I was hugging Carla and I told her that I thought she was Bobby because you know, I couldn’t see anything with the shades on. It was nice.”

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Backstage at the Michael Kors fashion show, Hollywood legend Bette Midler offered a bit of advice to up and coming Gossip Girl star Blake Lively. Midler knew that Lively was probably wearing a Kors design, but mentioned to her that her hemline could've been a bit longer. Midler said, "Honey, it's far too early in your career to pull a Julianna Margulies. You don't have to be a old lady who's in her thirties just yet, but right above the knee is nice length for you to wear. Classy and sexy." Lively chuckled as she told Milder that she was going to write that bit of advice down on her Blackberry.

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At the Toronto Film Festival screening of Che, beloved actress Rachel McAdams served as the unofficial ambassador of her native country, Canada. She got the idea when she remembered all of the difficulties she had adjusting to American customs and culture on the set of The Hot Chick in 2002. As she sees it, McAdams' role is to help American film stars become acclimated to the more laid back Canadian lifestyle. McAdams said, "There's not a lot of difference between Canada and America, but if people are confused, they shouldn't hesitate to text me." McAdams handed out pamphlets that featured a metric system conversion chart, as well as a collection of vegan donut shops personally curated by McAdams.

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To help generate further internet excitement and mainstream media buzz, tween superstar Miley Cyrus and potential one hit wonder Katy Perry air kissed their way down the red carpet at the VMAs on Sunday afternoon. Cyrus' mother, Tricia, made sure that she oversaw the air kissing and light hand holding. Mrs. Cyrus said, "I'm just here to make sure she doesn't run into that Ronson chick or get too buck wild. She's already had two Rock Stars, I think that's where it's going to stop today. "

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At the premiere of The Women, all of the men in attendance were lured away from their dates by the sweet siren song of Cloris Leachman. Leachman, who's slated to compete in the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars, swept stars like Warren Beatty and Will Smith off their feet with her erotic tales of old Hollywood. Smith said, "Cloris has to be the ultimate cougar. If I wasn't with Jada, I'd make a serious play at her. Although, Warren might give me a run for my money." When asked about her newfound status as the ultimate cougar, Leachman said, "I would say that I still got it, but the fact of the matter is that I never lost it."

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*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.