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Beloved actress Anne Hathaway embarked on a mini walk of shame outside of Coco De Ville Tuesday night. The Get Smart star, who recently split from con man & Zach Braff look alike Raffaello Follieri, allegedly had a lapse in judgment and gave reality TV maven Brody Jenner her number. At the valet station, Hathaway confessed to a BFF that she was suckered in by Jenner's frat boy charm. Hathaway sighed, "He had a backwards hat on and, well, I don't know....He just seemed like a guy who wouldn't be able pull off an elaborate con involving the Vatican, which is exactly the kind of guy I'm looking to rebound with. And he was wearing a backwards hat."

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Personal questions were strictly forbidden at the Italian premiere of Get Smart on Monday - but that didn't stop one reporter from asking the movie's star, Anne Hathaway, "Was the separation from your ex-boyfriend painful?" ...

After the reporter lobbed the question, Hathaway remained silent and attempted a faint smile.

But, as if on cue, her costar Steve Carell valiantly stepped in to declare: "In my role of agent [for] Miss Hathaway, I would like to say that she does not answer questions relating to this subject."

We hear Hathaway's Italian inquisitor bristled, then laughed in response: "Oh, you are agent now? Ees funny!" At which time Carell reissued his edict a little more strenuously, coaxing a full chorus of press-line chortles and one audible cry as he briskly walked a disconsolate Hathaway into the theater: "George Foreman Grill! Your foot ees better now, no?" Oh, but for the good old days, when Hathaway walking with a man in Rome meant the high likelihood of a concealed weapon within arm's reach.

• Steve Carell's Red-Carpet Rescue of Anne Hathaway [People]

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Get Smart star Anne Hathaway implemented a Garanimals style system to help with her co-star Steve Carell's hand placement during a photo call in Rome. Hathaway had noticed at prior press conferences and premieres that Carell seemed unsure as to where he should put his hands, so Hathaway purchased this dress to help him out. Carell appreciated what he called the "hand squares on the dress" and thanked Hathaway for being so conscientious.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Harrison Ford, Outed by Helen Mirren: "She considered him 'the nicest, sweetest guy you could want to meet. But he can't kiss - he finds it impossible to kiss on screen.' Then, she added: 'He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me - other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion.'"

Jason Segal, Outed by Alyson Hannigan: "Alyson refused to kiss him or do any romantic scenes with him, because he smelled like smoke. He thanks her for forcing him to do that because now he not only smells better, he feels better as well."

Orlando Bloom, Outed by Keira Knightley: "Keira Knightley claims Johnny Depp is a better kisser than Orlando Bloom...When quizzed on who she thought was the best kisser out of the two actors, she told InStyle magazine: 'Johnny Depp certainly wasn't bad.' Despite Orlando's gushing praise for Keira's kissing technique, he did admit he found it 'peculiar.'"

Steve Carell, Outed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I just see Steve Carell's lips. 'So the bottom of a cat's paw - the soft supple part underneath - that's what Steve Carell's lips are like. But his tongue is like kitty cat litter. That's the physical experience.'"

Woody Allen, Outed by Helena Bonham Carter: "He tells you up front certain ways of kissing he does not want. No exchange of liquid is permitted. It can be a bit offensive because he makes no effort at all."

Angelina Jolie, Outed by James McAvoy: "I can tell you what it was like to kiss her on a film set: It was awkward, sweaty and not very nice."

Tom Cruise, Outed by Thandie Newton: "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it."

Victoria Beckham, Outed by Corey Haim: "She does this little grr gnaw thing that felt like a girl gnawing on your lip."

Sienna Miller, Outed by James Franco: "The British beauty's toothache made filming a nightmare. Franco admits filming the scene was far from enjoyable and had to be cut short when his co-star complained. He says, 'I think we kissed once in that film and it wasn't at all intense - there was no rolling around or anything. Sienna's molar was giving her pain so she called the dentist!'"

Leonardo DiCaprio, Outed by Virginie Ledoyen: "I think Leonardo is a nice guy. But I don't want him as a lover. There [was] no honest passion. No real sensitivity in our love scenes. In our underwater love scenes all I could think of was not drowning. I can't even remember his kiss."

[Photo credits: Getty, Wire Girl, Showbiz Spy, Renee Ashley Baker, NetGlimpse, Wireimage]

• JAMES MCAVOY: KISSING ANGELINA JOLIE WAS 'NOT VERY NICE' [ITW]

Raffaello Follieri, who was awaiting an appearance in Manhattan federal court, is accused of falsely telling an investor that the Vatican had appointed him to manage its financial affairs.

He allegedly claimed that as a result of his Vatican connections, he and others could obtain properties of the Catholic church in the United States at a substantial discount to fair market value. [...]

Hathaway's publicist, Stephen Huvane, has previously stressed that "The Devil Wears Prada" star is not part of any probes and is no longer a board member of the Follieri Foundation.

Details of Follieri's song-and-dance are still sketchy; some suggest he dazzled investors with a well-rehearsed spiel involving a prime coastal property he could unload for a steal, all due to what he referred to in hush-tones as the "Father Larabee's Petting Zoo of Molesty Horrors" incident. It now remains to be seen if Hathaway reputation can survive the Sins of the Oily and Crooked Ex-Boyfriend, and if she herself can survive any stray lightning bolts sent down to smite God-swindling confidence men.

• Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend Follieri arrested [AP/MSNBC]

1. Get Smart - $39.2 million
The middling-at-best TV adaptation claimed the weekend essentially by default, but it also fell almost $1 million short of the $40 million opening it needed to trigger its principals' rumored sequel clauses. Will Warner Bros. call it even and commission a script by lunch? Is Anne Hathaway renegotiating with her bad-boy paramour for further "publicity consulting" in 2010? Will Steve Carell meet Don Adams at the Get Smart 2 premiere? Only time will tell!

2. Kung Fu Panda - $21.7 million
The ursine pugilist enjoyed one last top-five weekend before Pixar's Wall-E comes along on Friday to show him what true box-office violence looks like.

3. The Incredible Hulk - $21.5 million
It might look underachieving, but don't worry! A 61% drop is exactly the kind of declining potency Bruce Banner has been searching for all these years. In a couple of weeks it'll be like none of this ever happened to him.

4. The Love Guru - $14 million
What more can we say? His karma was huge.

5. The Happening - $10 million
Manoj's Mint experienced an even steeper plunge than Hulk, driving the stroppy writer/director/profit-participant to challenge Mike Myers to a winner-take-all Bad Idea Marketplace showdown in which next weekend's lower performer flees theaters by noon Monday. We hear Paramount is said to be considering it.

Honorable Mention — 16. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl - $223,000
A few weeks after its previous release — the foreign-language epic Mongol — opened at $27K per screen, the penultimate Picturehouse film Kit Kittredge swung a staggering $44,600 per-screen average in the five cities where American Girl has retail outlets. That should hopefully make the box-packing around the office feel like it's going a little quicker.

WHAT'S NEW: For the second consecutive week, a pair of critical underachievers square off at the multiplex. But while the noisy, mostly terrible Get Smart is something of a masterpiece compared to The Love Guru, we expect both to lock in for decent opening frames; estimates below $40 million seem conservative for Smart, and Guru, almost-unilaterally loathed as it is, will still pull around $22 million from teenagers not knowing any better. Watch out, though, for Kit Kittredge: An American Girl, the first film based on the popular doll brand; opening in limited release in markets featuring American Girl stores, this will eventually pull every 10-and-under girl (and her mother) into a theater near you.

Also opening: The Santa Monica parking ticket romance Expired and the arranged-marriage-in-London drama Brick Lane.

THE BIG LOSER: We may not actually have one this week, though were taking early wagers on The Love Guru's second-week plunge. We'll even sweeten the deal: Winning bets on anything less than 70% pay double!

THE UNDERDOG: The first weekend of the L.A. Film Festival offers a pretty diverse assortment of programming — and, alas, quality — but we'd be derelict in our underdog-reporting duties if we didn't single out the tiny, riveting Thai entry Wonderful Town (Saturday at 7 p.m., AMC Avco 4). Aditya Assarat's story follows a big-city architect dispatched to oversee a luxury hotel project in the ruins of the 2004 tsunami; culture clash and doomed romance ensue to ultimately shocking degrees, but Assarat's handle on melancholy (as well as the rich, hazy inland landscapes) thwarts the potential for melodrama. This will likely return in limited release from its distributors at Kino, but why wait? Plus it will make you that much cooler when eventually recommending it to latecoming friends.

FOR SHUT-INS: New DVD's include Michel Gondry's sweding buddy picture Be Kind Rewind, the must-not-have Mashew McConauhdgrl/Kate Hudson collaboration Fool's Gold, Alison Eastwood's mildly underrated directing debut Rails and Ties, the Martin Lawrence offering Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, and Grant Gee's extraordinary, anecdote- and interview-heavy rock documentary Joy Division.

So are you getting Smart this weekend, or are you sucking it up for 100 minutes with Guru Pitka? Any LAFF recommendations we should take in? Will Be Kind Rewind be more ironic than ever on DVD? Be honest! Share your plans, and look us up if you're planning a Westwood festival sojourn.

[T]here was word the recently split couple were planning to have dinner together at Cipriani. "It's very amicable. He still cares for her very much," said a source. The two were staying mum on their breakup while Hathaway continued making TV appearances hawking her new movie, Get Smart.

Melanie Bonvicino, a flack for Follieri, said the Italian businessman is "angered" by "repeated mischaracterizations" of their split. ... "It is worth noting, as you continue to attempt to scandalize a respected businessman and philanthropist, that the Follieri Foundation has vaccinated hundreds of children in Nicaragua and Honduras to date, in addition to recently rebuilding an orphanage in Brazil."

Not to mention his and Hathaway's selfless dedication to the Warner Bros. cause, which anticipates a $40 million donation from the American public in the next three days alone. Dissolved, incriminated, whatever — this is a pair of true saints.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Broken Duo Play it Coy [Page Six]

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Jared "The Subway Guy" Fogle corned Steve Carell at the Get Smart premiere about getting a date with the newly single Anne Hathaway. Fogle wasn't actually on the guest list, but his heart told him to bum rush the Westwood premiere. Fogle said, "How often is a girl like Anne Hathaway single? Not very often. So, I had to jet down here and put my heart and soul out on the line." Fogle added that he felt an instant connection with Hathaway while watching the 2004 film Ella Enchanted. Fogle said, "There was just something about her in that film. I just knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her." Much to his dismay, Fogle was unable to get any face time with Hathaway by night's end. Developing...

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

The Bad Boy Appeal: Michelle Pfeiffer sang that she wanted a "rider that's mean" in Grease 2 (yes, we saw it, and are happy to admit it), but she was neither the first nor the last person to echo that sentiment. Try as every girl might, bad boys simply don't lose their luster. Sure, Raffaello might steal money from billionaires, but it's for his lady! The romance! The Stellaahhhhh of it all!

Anne And Jen Are Far More Clever Than We Think: In case you hadn't noticed, Anne has a big summer movie to promote, as does Jennifer. Distracting us bloggers with their law-breaking boyfriends and fembot nipples reminds us they're there. What else are they going to do, slip on cokepants and earn themselves a makeup-enhanced mug shot? Not their style.

John Lennon Was Right After All: Call us romantics, but the truth is that we know nothing about Raffaello and John's in-person charisma. There's this little thing called love, and maybe, just maybe, it's all these particular girls really need. Sigh.

• ARM CANDY CAN GO SOUR AND HURT YOUR SWEET FUTURE, TOO [NYDN]

As the Post reports today, Hathaway's gel-happy boyfriend Raffaello Follieri is under investigation by NY's Attorney General for undisclosed issues regarding one of the many charity organizations his Follieri Foundation. As you may recall, Raffaello was sued for bouncing a ginormous check for unpaid PR dues back in April. And just a over a year ago, celebrity groupie Ron Burkle claimed the greaser had used part of the billionaire playboy's investments in a Follieri church group to take Anne on private jets and essentially pay his way towards remaining her boyfriend. With today's news marking strike three on Follieri's shady financial rap sheet, we're not too upset that Anne still hasn't dumped the (inevitably jailbound) jerk; maybe, just maybe, the goopy eye bacteria that made its way into Steve's mouth also created a speed bump in Follieri's jet-setting schedule, too.

[Photo credit: Getty]

• ANNE HATHAWAY INFECTS STEVE CARELL WITH PINK EYE? EUUW... [Dish Rag]
• ANNE HATHAWAY BEAU'S 'CAUSE' FOR ALARM [NYP]

Ken Davitian, the obscure actor who found worldwide fame playing the portly sidekick in "Borat," has joined the all-star cast of the big-screen adaptation of "Get Smart."

Steve Carell is playing Maxwell Smart, Anne Hathaway is Agent 99, and Alan Arkin is portraying the Chief of CONTROL.

Davitian will play the evil assistant to Terrence Stamp's character, the head of the nefarious organization known as KAOS.

"It's my first film that is with so many big people," said Davitian. "It's really an honor for me to work on this."

Producers brought Davitian on board as much for his menacing look and deadpan comic timing as they did for his well-established, liberal policy towards screen nudity. With most of the world now comfortable and familiar with most angles of his exposed body—whether the view from above as he snuffed out Sacha Baron Cohen with his hindquarters, or directly head-on as he galloped wild and free through a mortgage brokers' convention—it's the producers' hope that Davitian will help his co-stars feel just as comfortable about their bodies from the first moment he emerges from his trailer wearing nothing but a smile to shoot the homage to The Nude Bomb sequence.

• "Borat" sidekick spies "Smart" role [Reuters]