While James' blonde co-star in grainy quasi-sex tape magic does admittedly have one hell of a (fake) rack, we fear this aspirational photo shoot most likely filmed in an effort to turn Blunt into the next Dirk Diggler and Dourdan into the next Buck Swope will flop — mainly due to that extraneous boat-climbing fellow with the overly tight Hawaiian trunks and Blunt's far-from-beautiful paunch.

[Photo credits: X17]

• POSH BLUNT'S TOPLESS BABES [The Sun]

CSI star Gary Dourdan claims the drugs he was caught with earlier this week didn't belong to him.

Dourdan says he was returning from the Coachella Music Festival, where he got some people into a V.I.P. section. An after-party left him "ragged," he said, so he pulled over to sleep.

"I am blessed that the Sgt. realized that the luggage carrying whatever they found was not mine and that my tests have been coming back negative," Dourdan continued. "I've been happy to cooperate in any way to clear myself and go on with my blessed life."

Dourdan — who is not returning to CSI next season — also apologized to his fans. (He was set to present Taylor Swift with an award at Hollywood Life magazine's 10th Annual Young Hollywood Awards last week, as CSI is one of her favorite shows.)

"I am so sorry to all my fans, especially the young ones, like Taylor Swift, who I should've been supporting with my daughter instead of driving tired in the desert," he said.

"I am planning events to get the word out that you don't need a bunch of nasty chemicals to have a good time," he added. "Just good friends, family, good music and a good honest spirit full of faith."

We're just relieved that Palm Springs law enforcement was flexible enough to accept that the trunk containing an assortment of illicit party favors, dead hookers, Portishead merch, and at least one still-tripping member of Hot Chip must have been placed there by some other Coachella after-party guest, not Dourdan himself. As for young country star Taylor Swift, she has apparently taken the disappointment in stride, eagerly awaiting her Young Hollywood Awards replacement trophy after being explained by an official that the original "is currently in the evidence room at the Palm Desert Sheriff's Dept., being tested for traces of a finely pulverized powder found clinging to its base."

[Photo credit: WireImage]

• CSI Star Denies Drugs Belonged to Him [usmagazine.com]

• "CSI" Star Popped for Heroin, Coke, Ecstasy [TMZ]

In the case of Dourdan, an insider at the show insists that he and CSI execs "mutually agreed" to part ways for "creative reasons." However, a CBS mole claims the 41-year-old actor was essentially fired, adding that producers are trying to be "as supportive and protective" of him as possible by portraying the departure as mutual. That same mole wasn't willing to share the specific reason for Dourdan's ouster, except to say that it involves an "ongoing problem personal to Dourdan." [...]

Over at SVU, the situation surrounding Neal has become equally suspicious. On Tuesday, a show spokesperson confirmed to me exclusively that the actress would be vacating her role as ADA Casey Novak in what appeared to be a mutual decision. However, shortly after I posted that story, a show insider says an emotional Neal gathered the crew together on the set and informed them that she had just been fired.

Of course, more definite clues could arise once we get a better look at how the show's writers choose to dispatch their series regulars. We're reminded of a similarly acrimonious parting of Prison Break's Sarah Wayne Callies, whose gruesome demise involved the discovery of her character Sara's decapitated head in a box. Should we tune in to the season finale of CSI to find Marg Helgenberger running a black light over Dourdan's battered, limp body to get a better look at the tell-tale semen stains left after his fatal gang-raping, we'll know producers were not entirely broken up about the actor's departure.

• Exclusive: Were Dourdan and Neal (Gulp) Fired [TVGuide.com]

Clad in leather biker gear, Dourdan violently grabbed our photog outside Hyde, who the actor had mistaken for another guy, and slammed him to the pavement several times, sending his head bouncing into concrete over and over again — all while his camera continued to roll.

The chaos began after Dourdan pulled up to the club on his Ducati motorcycle, and shouted at the photog to "get that f**king camera out of my face!" The photog obliged, pointing the camera to the ground — but Dourdan's rage continued to grow, and the cameraman kept the record button on just in case something happened. Moments later, something happened.

This regrettable incident is just another disturbing reminder of the dangers of being out in Hollywood after dark. Even in seemingly safe, well-populated areas like the sidewalks outside of trendy drinking establishments or the inside of world-famous comedy clubs, the possibility of a head-splitting, Lovitizian beatdown always looms.

• "CSI" Star Beats the Living Crap Out of TMZ Photog [TMZ]
• Previously: Today In Amazing Catfights: The Les Deux Parking Lot Brawl [Defamer]