Actor Gary Coleman hit a pedestrian with his truck after arguing with him in a local bowling alley, police said. ...

Payson police Lt. Bill Wright said Colt Rushton and Coleman got into an argument in the early morning hours Saturday over pictures Rushton had taken of Coleman inside the bowling alley. He said the argument continued outside, and that Coleman hit Rushton and a car as he was backing out of a parking space.

Neither man was issued a citation, and Wright said it wasn't clear whether Coleman hit Rushton on purpose. He said neither man was giving authorities much information.

Investigations continue (booze was reportedly involved), with Payson being treated and discharged from a local hospital with minor injuries and Coleman returning to his quiet, married reclusion. Neither man has commented to reporters, leaving only the speculation of how bad Coleman's game really is these days — nothing like the good old days, when we hear he used to average at least 220 while anchoring the Diff'rent Strokes team. It's actually kind of shocking he hadn't mixed it up with someone before Saturday; you haven't heardtrash talk like the smack he used to lay down with Charlotte Rae.

• Police: Gary Coleman hit man with truck in Utah [LAT]

As egregious and anti-funny as nearly every beat in the trailer is (we were especially partial to Gary Coleman's slave-talkin'), they all pale in comparison to this scene, teased by Reason:

In a clip we saw, Washington takes Malone to St. Paul's Cathedral to lecture him on freedom of religion and "freedom of speech, which you abuse." Malone is grossed out by dust in the priest's box, so the doors open onto the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center. "This is the dust of 3000 innocent human beings!" bellows Washington. Malone whimpers that he's just making movies. Washington won't have it. "Is that what you plan to say on Judgment Day?"

As enticing as that scene sounds, we can't wait for Zucker's own Judgment Day explanation of My Boss's Daughter and BASEketball. Forced to plead his case after a spiritual journey led by Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, will Zucker see the light?

• "This is the Dust of 3000 Innocent Human Beings!" [Reason]

Hard-nosed investigative analysis after the jump:

First of all, let's eliminate a few. Out of Us Weekly's list of twelve star virgins, at least two are famously deflowered: the indefatigable Britney Spears and the formerly married Jessica Simpson. And though we can't be sure Gary Coleman has finally done the deed, we'd like to believe his wedding (and Al Roker's prodding) may have helped hasten things along.

That leaves us with nine star virgins, and three of those are the Jonas Brothers. Take them out of the equation, and you're left with six separate celebrities, all of whom (it may not surprise you to learn) are young and female. Yes, while we can't imagine that a reporter would ever ask, say, Phil of the Future if he'd given it up yet, apparently the world would fall off its axis if even one famous teen girl neglected to reveal the state of her hymen. Let's hear it for sexual stereotypes and pernicious double standards!

• Star Virgins [Us Magazine]

• The Today Show

"[Gary] lets his anger conquer him sometimes. He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.'"

Fun! We hope Shannon gets her chance every now and then to throw "things" back at Gary, like maybe those Whatchu Talkin' 'Bout Willis bobblehead dolls. If that fails, she can always forego physical abuse and instead walk down the primrose path of mental cruelty, perhaps by suggesting that MC Hammer's infomercials were kinda hotter than Gary's for CashCall. We can only assume Gary's been following the advice from his own commercials' tagline: "Pay your bills on time and everyone will love you." Even a 22 year-old flame-haired masochist.

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  'STROKES' STAR SECRETLY WED [NY Post]

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