Gawker: defamer, g4

Ow My 'Human Wrecking Balls': Your Preview Of The Dumbest TV Show In History

Seth — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:58:49 EST

There comes a point in every cable network exec's career when they stare long and hard into a bathroom mirror, and ask, "I've already greenlit a show called Hurl! that pits players against each other in a battle to retain the contents of their stomach. Where is there left to go from here?" Well, if you happen to work at G4, the answer lies outside the box—or the home, car, hotel room, airplane fuselage, or any structure brothers Craig and Paul Pumphrey are willing to destroy using nothing but their own bodies. We'll let the Human Wrecking Balls press release take over as we gingerly step out of the way:

The Pumphreys are far from your average brothers; for starters their combined weight is 550 pounds. Craig is a decorated police officer and world champion mixed martial artist. He recognized his gift of surviving hard crashes at a young age after falling 20 feet onto a steel construction bolt that shattered his skull. Craig was told he would never walk again but through unwavering determination he was back in action just a short time later. Older brother Paul has twice been crowned World Creative Breaking Champion, once after breaking through six feet of ice.

Craig and Paul are strategic in their approach to dismantling. For each challenge, they join forces with a team of experts in material science and engineering to review the object of their destruction from every possible angle before taking it apart, using physics and know-how to determine the most effective strategy.

Having difficulty picturing what, exactly, that might wind up looking like? Then watch the video above, showcasing the bone-crunching balletics of skull-fracture survivor Craig and his top-ranking Breaking Stuff with Your Head champion brother, Paul. We're quite confident that Human Wrecking Balls will be the greatest documentary about two guys running at top-speed into drywall the world has ever seen. (And we're not just saying that to see it used in future publicity materials.)

Human Wrecking Balls [G4]

Olivia Munn Does Filthy Things With Raw Seafood

Seth — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:02:41 EDT

Defamer's enduring fascination with Attack of the Show host Olivia Munn, and her ongoing explorations of the strange worlds lying towards the far reaches of her personal shame-threshold, continues: In her latest escapade, Munn communes suggestively with a variety of aquatic wildlife. Surely you require no more explanation that that, but we'll offer some anyway:

Says the AotS website:

"Olivia does a screen test for a remake of Russ Meyer’s erotic 60s classic ‘Vixen’ by performing a sexy dance with aquatic animals."

We urge everyone but animal rights activists to now click through to watch Munn's erotically charged tango with a splayed salmon, then compare it to the Vixen original. Both made us inexplicably giddy—though not quite as giddy as if Mark Wahlberg had then wandered into the frame, and said, "Hey, squid. I like all those arms you got, that looks really great. So you're a squid, right? What's that all about? OK, well it was great to meet you. Say hi to your mother for me, OK?"

Olivia's Sexy Fish Dance [G4]

New G4 Reality Show 'Hurl!' Has America Woofing-Up Its Vittles

Seth — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:30:00 EDT

Having nowhere to go but down, this summer's reality TV-infested schedule is getting back to basics, revisiting the kinds outrageous gross-out stunts spawned by early goat-scrotum-consumption adapter, Fear Factor. ABC's Wipeout, currently previewed in promos running ad nauseam on that network, requires contestants to run a treacherous gauntlet filled with boulder-sized versions of the terrifying red dodgeballs of our youth. But G4 goes one better with their July entry into an already crowded people-doing-really -stupid-shit-on-TV field, with perhaps the greatest gag-reflex competition ever mounted: Hurl! From ABCNews.com:

Ten years ago, it would have been out of the question to base a TV show around vomit. Today, a little artful editing allows it to star in its own reality series.

"Vomit on-screen is covered by animated buckets with a one- to five-bucket rating system," said Dale Roy Robinson, who developed and executive produces "Hurl!" with Tom Crehan. "Actually, the show has very little to do with vomit, and everything to do with competition and camaraderie. It's like a college dare all grown up into its own TV show. It's nothing different from what fraternity boys do."

Crehan added, "It's more wholesome and uplifting than any dating show you'd care to make."

While we love the concept of a Purgevivor (we invite you now to peruse their site's fabulous image gallery, which contains no actual puke, but some highly evocative images of an all-you-can-eat sushi bar on choppy seas that does everything but hold your hair back as you dive for the toilet), we hardly think its necessary for one great reality show genre to diminish another. On the contrary: We wish Crehan would see the potential of combining forces with The Bachelorette—a beautiful marriage of formats that's almost guaranteed to feature the most shocking. hot tub. upchuck. orgy. ever.

Bonus link: 339 synonyms for throwing up! (Though "ralph" is curiously missing.) [c4ct.com]

Has Reality TV Hit Rock Bottom? [ABCNews.com]

Attack of The Hot-Dog-Gobbling G4 Host

Mark — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 15:20:25 EDT

All the great TV segment concepts are incubated in the far more experimental medium of basic cable, but eventually work their way up to conservative network programs desperate for fresh ideas. Accordingly, it shouldn't be long before a View producer sees this clip from G4's Attack of the Show and tries to escape their boring, post-Rosie rut by forcing Elizabeth Hasselbeck to hop on Whoopi's shoulders and deep-throat a mustard-slathered hot dog as Joy and Barbara squeal their approval.

Olivia Munn's Hot Beef Injection [Fleshbot]