Oh wait, THEY TOTALLY DON'T, because they keep running them for office all the freakin' time. A guided tour of the GOP's celebrity worship, after the jump:

"George Clooney is a rich guy who doesn't hold the slightest clue about how average Americans go about their daily lives." - Rush Limbaugh

Above: Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger, who made $25 million to play Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin, is sworn in for his second term as governor of California.

"Now, [Sean] Penn can say whatever he wants, and we invite him on this program to sit in the 'Hot Seat' and defend his outlandish comments. But, the real question is who does this guy speak for, who does he represent other than other bad actors." - Sean Hannity

Above: Republican president Ronald Reagan feeds a monkey using a baby bottle in Bedtime for Bonzo.

"If you scratch the surface of Barbra Streisand’s or Susan Sarandon’s views, there is little inner core to them. The biggest echo chamber around is the Hollywood echo chamber." - Laura Ingraham

Above: Republican Fred Thompson, who played a crusty old man once on Law & Order, announces his presidential candidacy on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

"The real joke was PFAW’s ceremony itself, dubbed the “Spirit of Liberty Awards,” which honored Hollyweird blowhards Alec Baldwin and Susan Sarandon." - Michelle Malkin

Above: Republican Fred Grandy was elected to Congress in 1986, serving Iowa for eight years. He is best known for playing "Gopher" on The Love Boat.

I really don't know how I feel about [a woman in the White House]. I see the positive parts of it. But, you know, I think there's something incredible about a First Lady. That, to me, is a woman in the White House. It's sort of like being parents to the United States, and she takes on the role of mother and confidante and care-giver. Standing behind every powerful man, there's a powerful woman...I don't want to say no, because that doesn't sound very open-mined. But do I want it to be Hillary? No, I don't think so.

Also, we learn Angie is married to a former football player with whom she likes to vacation in Las Vegas, was discovered by David Hasselhoff — "please don't make it sound cheesy, because that's not what it was" — wears silk pajamas that are lined in cashmere, took the stage during the Republican National Convention, loves to shop, would like to have another child but is "waiting on God," has a four-year-old daughter with a pet gecko that totally grosses her out although she is "confident that at any point she will be into Christian Louboutin instead of the lizard," and credits her high school cheerleading coach with instilling in her the confidence to realize she was "not a complete idiot."

Just because I'm friendly, and I like to guffaw when I laugh, and have a cold beer and hang out with my husband and my girlfriends, doesn't mean that I'm not just as intelligent as someone from, let's say, Manhattan.

Anyway, the writer, Amy Spencer, mysteriously fails to mention Fred Thompson, which could be because she, too, is just as intelligent as someone "from Manhattan," or more likely, because she asked Angie about the election and Angie was like, "huh? Oh no I was planning on endorsing Pat Tillman..."

So what's Thompson to do? Take the show on the road and rake in the dollars elsewhere. The place that made the former Tennessee senator rich as an actor cannot be counted on to pour cash into his presidential run, especially if he's going around bashing gay marriage and Roe vs. Wade. The minute he comes out strong against embryonic stem cell research — a fervent Hollywood cause — he'll be banished from every cocktail party north of Sunset Boulevard.

"You're asking me if people here will support Fred Thompson?" said Donna Bojarsky, a longtime industry political consultant. "How do I put it? No. No. And no."

As unpromising as the above already sounds, things get even worse for Thompson: more socially progressive GOP candidate Rudy Giuliani has already planted his flag in Ron Silver, Hollywood's Token Conservative, appointing him a political advisor. We imagine the Thompson campaign might just cancel any planned L.A. fundraising trips altogether rather than suffer the indignity of begging Britney Spears, the town's lone unaffiliated Republican, to throw him a rager like the one Brett Ratner had for Hillary back in June.

• Hollywood won't back Fred Thompson [LAT]

• The Tonight Show: Fred Thompson running for President [YouTube]
• One-Sheet Wonder: The Fred Thompson Filmography [YouTube]