Gawker: defamer, fathers and daughters

Billy Ray Cyrus's Touching Loyalty To Daughter Miley Underscored By Poignant Poop-Stomping Metaphor

Seth — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:10:00 EDT

Billy Ray Cyrus, virtue-hoarding father and achy-breaky-svengali to cultural tween phenomenon Miley Cyrus, appeared on The Today Show this morning, where for the first time he was made to address the now-infamous Virgin Miley study that recently graced the pages of Vanity Fair. An unwavering Meredith Vieira was determined to figure out where he was as photographer Annie Leibovitz crouched beneath a lighting umbrella, pressing two index fingers to her lips as she spitballed aloud, "For the next one, maybe lose the clothes, clutch that sheet to your chest, and give me your best 'Got Milk?' face."

Cyrus responded with a bitter recollection that underscores the sorry current state of Hollywood flackism, explaining that he left the set feeling "everything was in control...Her publicist was there." Pressed for his reactions to the photo, Cyrus then offered a series of increasingly inscrutable downhomeisms—beginning with a relatively low-difficulty poop-stomping metaphor, and eventually working his way up to one involving turkey-neck-lengths that our dull urbanite brains never fully managed to grasp.

The Today Show

Molly Shannon Recreates Her Father's Last Moments For The Visibly Uncomfortable Ladies Of 'The View'

Seth — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:22:40 EST

When Molly Shannon was four years old, she was in a terrible car accident in her home town of Shaker Heights that took the lives of her mother, her little sister, and her cousin. That left her dad James Shannon, who survived the crash with a crushed leg, to raise Molly and her older sister Mary. Stopping by The View today to chat about upcoming projects (she'll be starring in the U.S. version of Australian sitcom hit Kath and Kim), Shannon veered onto the subject of her dad.

She first reminded Barbara Walters of the time he, a huge Barbara fan, approached Walters on an airplane. (It turns out she was cordial, which seemed to take even Barbara by surprise.) But it's Shannon's startling impression of her father's death-rattle wishes—at once macabre, hilarious, and deeply touching—that we've singled out for your enjoyment. It's a scene that instantly recalls the final words spoken by John Barrymore to daughter Dolores Ethel Blyth on his death bed: "There are...no small parts...my dearest Dolores...Only...small—" with the identity of that elusive small thing cut stymieingly short by the piercing ring of a flatlining EKG.

The View