Venezuelan President Wonders What Happened To Spicoli

Douglas Reinhardt — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:38:01 EDT

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez took a meeting with Academy Award winner Sean Penn on Monday. President Chavez wondered why Penn hasn’t done a part like the immortal Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Penn did not have an answer, nor was he willing to do the voice for the leader.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Like, This Is So Totally Embarrassing: Our Top Five Classic 'Valley Girls'

Molly Friedman — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:30:00 EDT

As THR reported recently, MGM is planning a musical remake of the cult classic Valley Girl, which became the epitome of everything the magical land of acrylic nails and gum chewing addictions stood for in the early `80s. However, the remake is ruffling the feathers of many an industry insider, mainly because the brains behind this project are less interested in revisiting the infamous twang and mall headquarters associated with girls from the Valley, a group the film arguably captured better than any successor. Instead, the epic soundtrack will serve as the reincarnation's primary subject. But whether or not the idea tanks, we're just happy to have the chance to round up our five favorite on-screen Valley Girls to ever gag us with a spoon:

Torrance Shipman, Bring It On: For every sweet as sugar Valley Girl like the original film's Julie Richman, there is the head cheerleader. Torr, her sidekicks, and her priorities dipped into the shallowest end of the San Fernando pool of prissy dumb blondes (with hearts of gold! In the end, of course!) Classic Quote: "I am only cheerleading."

Romy And Michele, Romy And Michele's High School Reunion: A rare glimpse into the lives of the post-grad working life of the VG, Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino actually made anyone unfamiliar with the Valley kind of want to live there, where folding sweaters defined the girls' perfection of living by that old mantra: ignorance is bliss. Classic Quote: "You look so good with blonde hair and black roots it's not even funny."

Stacy Hamilton, Fast Times At Ridgemont High: For every Torrance, there is a Stacy Hamilton: that shy, naive non-looker with the way hotter friend, who falls for the short, pale, and not handsome bad boy because he smokes cigarettes and dresses in all black. Classic Quote: "When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out?"

Tai, Clueless: Most people instantly envision Cher as a classic VG, but the contemporary Emma lived in Beverly Hills. And sure, Tai does hail from the scary land of Manhattan where "coke" means cocaine, not Coca-Cola. But by the climax of the flick, Tai represents everything VGs stand for: short skirts, make-up, gold jewelry and boyfriend-stealing. Classic Quote: "You think I'm a mentally retarded airhead?"

Buffy Summers, Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Oh, Buff. The yellow cheerleading outfit. The gum. The bleached hair. The mini-skirts with polka dots used to attract football players. The like, icky gross feeling you get around dudes with British accents who are old and stuff. Our favorite, by a landslide. Classic Quote: "Right, I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping."

MGM DEVELOPS MUSICAL 'VALLEY GIRL' [THR]

Gawker: defamer, fast times at ridgemont high

Venezuelan President Wonders What Happened To Spicoli

Like, This Is So Totally Embarrassing: Our Top Five Classic 'Valley Girls'