[Tells some story of this girl in a bar who totally loves him, like, so much, but doesn't know about the movie]. I mean, when someone who identifies themselves as a huge fan, who has read the book and passed it to their friends and self-identifies as this type of person, when the movie is IN THEATERS and they don't even know there is a movie at all…that is a complete failure in the publicity and marketing of the movie...
I don't want to go through it, because it'll just be depressing, but the failures in marketing were just…big. Unrecoverable.

I would have guessed "Because it was awful." But I'm no Tucker Max.
[Pic: Flickr]

Asylum gets this heart-rending explanation from the sniveling funnyman's publicist himself:

"When DIRECT TV came to me and the Farley family with this idea about 'Tommy Boy,' we talked and thought it would be a cool way to remind people just how funny Chris was. It is a clever homage to my friend and a movie that we loved doing, " he says.

"Nobody else wants to pay me money for things," he means.

DeVito claimed that his slobbering interview with a Philadelphia newswoman on a morning show was all an act, that he was "in character" playing the pathetic slob her portrays on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Whatever, whether he was really drunk or not, we still want to go out and drink limoncellos all night long with Danny DeVito.

• 'The Today Show' [NBC]

• 'Fox and Friends' [Fox News]

When asked if he had anything to do with the Howard/Cheadle switch, Downey immediately responded, “I had nothing to do with that decision. I love Terrence very very much. That’s all I’ll say because I haven’t talked to him yet.”

Furthermore, the Iron Man star makes it clear that he will not play favorites between the two equally talented actors, so if you’re looking for a juicy “good riddance” quote from Downey [...] you won’t find it here.

“I’ve always admired Don [Cheadle],” said Downey. “It’s one of those situations where I still don’t quite know what happened or why. Here’s what happens too: things happen and you wind up commenting on them before you’ve actually talked to the people and it’s in poor taste.”

Of course we're nothing if not helpful, so here's Howard's account, and here's Marvel's (we think). Please file your response in the comments below; we have a rally to get to!

• EXCLUSIVE: Robert Downey Jr. On Terrence Howard/Don Cheadle ‘Iron Man 2’ Swap [MTV]

Unfortunately for Miller and unknown to the crew, her IFB failed before she began speaking with Hunter. Another host might have known to alert the crew about the problem and delay the interview while the technical issues were worked out, but the inexperienced Miller gamely tried to speak with Hunter without hearing her responses.

"I couldn't hear her, and it's very hard to talk to somebody like that," Miller said. "I give credit to Holly Hunter. She was a pro, a class act. She saved the interview."

The technical problem explains the awkward delays and stumbled speaking but doesn't shed light on the most talked-about part of the interview, when Miller directed viewers to another news network's Web site for further coverage.

"It was just a blooper, it happens. Why do football players fumble sometimes? It was a disaster," she said of the network misidentification.

The article offers no mention for the off-camera, despair-tinged yelp that can be heard (turn up your speakers) immediately following the NBC blooper, but we suppose that's a matter that doesn't require much explanation; after everything that went wrong in the preceding four minutes, we're lucky it wasn't the report of a producer's self-inflicted gunshot wound that was audible in the background. But with the technical details dispensed with, the ABC News Now crew offers a challenge to those who think the gig is easy:

The Miller interview has inspired many people to think that they can do a better job hosting one of our shows. If you'd like to give it a shot, log on to www.abcnewsnow.com (yes — that is the correct site!) and submit your audition tape for the chance to be selected as a guest host on "What's the Buzz."

Be forewarned, hopeful Buzz guest hosts: we fear that this is a trap to humiliate haughty viewers who don't properly value the skills necessary to ask celebrities probing questions about their latest projects. Expect that any on-air opportunity will involve the precisely timed failures of satellite uplinks and IFB's, leaving you to flail in the same terrifying silence that's made Miller's internet-famous.

• The Interview Seen Around the World [ABC News]
Previously: A Brave Holly Hunter Barely Survives Junket Nightmare [Defamer]