Someone close to me (whom I will not identify) was there and witnessed the entire thing backstage. And while the spin is that "it isn't true," IT IS!

Your account is almost verbatim to the account I got, but your tipster left out a couple of things that were said.

...Joy also told Elisabeth: "You sit there and make a fool out of yourself out there everyday and it's pathetic. There are people we can't book on this show because of you! And then you put out stories about you going to Fox News?! Please, even they know better!"

These things were said at the beginning of the argument. What you heard already was the END of the argument.

If I hear anything else, I will pass it on to you.

But I have to be careful because I hear that they are looking for the snitch. They are trying to keep this quiet and hope that things don't completely implode prior to the election.

We'll see whether the calming influence of Whoopi Goldberg will bring things down a notch or two on today's show. Until then, keep sending those accounts in!

Previously:

• 'It's Never Personal': Whoopi Goldberg Spends the Morning on 'View' Damage Control
• DEFAMER EXCLUSIVE: Backstage Elisabeth/Joy Blowup Rocks 'The View'
• 'View' Audience Laughs At McCain Tee-Clad Elisabeth, Who Finally Promises to Stop Talking

After "The View" went off the air today, Joy and Elisabeth WENT AT IT backstage!!!!!

Joy jumped in Elisabeth's face about a comment she made about Joy not being able to plug her appearances because her act is "political in nature." This was in response to the controversy about the McCain t-shirt Elisabeth wore on the air on Tuesday.

Joy SCREAMED in Elisabeth's face, "If you do that again I will burn you down." Elisabeth turned beet red and started to stammer out something. And then Joy yelled, "Shut the fuck up" and stormed off.

Nobody backstage came to console Elisabeth who was left standing there. Not even Barbara. Not Sherri either.

If anyone else bore witness to the View battle royale, be sure to send us your accounts. Somewhere, a gratified Star Jones is surely cooing "Excellent," while indulging in a gastric bypass-approved, icy-cool dish of sweet revenge.

[Photo Credit: AP]

Previously:

• 'View' Audience Laughs At McCain Tee-Clad Elisabeth, Who Finally Promises to Stop Talking

DEFAMER: How did you hear that TRL was going off the air?
DAVE: I think I saw it on, like, Huffington Post or something. There wasn't a 3am phone call or anything like that.

DEFAMER: How did you feel when you heard the news?
DAVE: I hadn't watched [TRL] in a long time, but it was kind of a bummer, you know? It was a funny show where a lot of people who I still work with got their start. It'll be missed.

DEFAMER: Had you heard any rumors about its demise? Did you see this coming?
DAVE: I'm a little bit out of their demographic right now, so I hadn't heard anything. I check in every now and then, but I don't recognize a soul who's on it anymore. Damien [Fahey] does an awesome job, but I have no idea who the artists are at all. Like, I don't get Tokio Hotel. I don't understand why they're trying so hard to get them into them in the running. But yeah, I kind of thought that it might be coming. In 1999, 2000, there were a few huge stars. Now, there are a ton of semi-big stars. There's nobody that every thirteen-year-old girl can agree that they love, that they'd skip school and hop on the train and stand in Times Square to look at through a window.

DEFAMER: But what about a show like 106 & Park, which I think is still BET's highest-rated show? How can a music video show like that succeed while TRL is cancelled?
DAVE: Yeah, I don't understand how it doesn't make sense to at least keep it on. I mean, it's MTV's last music show, it's like their little clubhouse. It seems like the kind of thing they would want to keep going on forever, but then, what do I know? I mean, I just saw my first episode of The Hills last night, so what the fuck do I know?

DEFAMER: How had you managed to avoid it all this time?
DAVE: You know, it was just total, willful avoidance. I never saw Laguna Beach, either. It's almost more entertaining to watch people try to explain The Hills to you than to watch The Hills, because they don't know why they watch it. They talk about the people like they know them. It really is more fun to watch a grown man or woman defend their position as a Hills watcher.

DEFAMER: Is that indicative of how MTV has changed? We did a feature a few weeks ago called "7 MTV-Defining Stars Who Wouldn't Be Allowed on MTV Anymore"...
DAVE: ...Yeah, I read that!

DEFAMER: So do you agree with our premise that there's no niche there anymore for the sorts of people who put the network on the map?
DAVE: Yeah, I definitely agree. This is, like, a whole big conspiracy thing, but the way the Nielsen system works doesn't reward things like MTV used to put on. You know what I mean? Like, any music video show, you'd tune in for five minutes and if something came on that you didn't like, you'd change the channel. So ratings would be really low for some of the interesting programming that MTV used to put on. Now they do these things that aren't really challenging, but you're almost beat into submission in the first five minutes, like, "I guess I should see how this ends." You don't remember it when it's over, but you've watched it and that's all that matters. And it's a business! Unfortunately, they have to sell advertising.

DEFAMER: Was MTV always that ruthless about programming, though?
DAVE: You know, even the lowest-rated shows when I was there, people would talk about. Years later, they would remember it. So anecdotally, you know that people are actually watching, but the ratings never really bore that out.

DEFAMER: Is there anything on MTV you still watch?
DAVE: Listen, I will watch The Real World/Road Rules Challenge until the day I die. Big, hot dudes with their shirts off yelling at each other and getting drunk? For some reason, that never gets old. Like, I will watch CT take his shirt off and yell at somebody all fucking day. If there was a channel that was just that, I would watch it. But yeah, I don't love The Hills. Every single Dance Crew looks exactly the same to me. A lot of people I love still work there and the ratings are really good and people are still talking about it, but I'm 37 years old.

DEFAMER: But MTV used to be at least a little countercultural, didn't it? Even when they were programming shows like Singled Out, there'd be something like Tabitha Soren...
DAVE: And even things like Singled Out had Chris Hardwick, who's hilarious, and Jenny McCarthy, who's hilarious. They were sort of in on the joke a little bit, and right now, there's a lot of stuff that maybe takes itself too seriously. Like, Lauren Conrad probably has demands of what she will and won't do, and that's ridiculous... I wish that MTV2 would sort of take on that mantle of, "Here's our programming and here's people who love music," but it just seems like it's reruns of The Hills.

DEFAMER: When we posted about the TRL cancellation, some of our commenters started posting some old YouTube videos of their favorite moments...
DAVE: Oh, no way!

DEFAMER: ...so what would your favorite moment have been, if you could post it?
DAVE: You know, the really funny shit happened behind the scenes. My favorite thing I saw in probably the whole time I worked for MTV was there was this whole hour devoted to Prince, which of course he showed up fifty minutes late for. He flew in with this huge phalanx of guards, hot chicks with their tits out, and one of the biggest of the big dudes who was around him had this big jar with a posted note on it that said "Swear Jar." If you swore around Prince, since he was a Jehovah's Witness, you had to put in a dollar. That didn't make it to the air, but I just thought, "Man, that's funny stuff!"

DEFAMER: Mel Brooks and John Waters turned their old movies into Broadway musicals. How come you went the opera route?

CRONENBERG: As a kid I saw the original West Side Story and The Pajama Game in New York, and I have a fondness for musicals, but I've never really been attracted to them as something I would do myself. It makes sense for John Waters to do it. He's into that kind of stuff. But I'm much more snobby and elitist! Although truthfully, opera was popular in its time. It's only now, in retrospect, that it's become an elite art form.

DEFAMER: What did your agents and lawyers say when you told them you wanted to direct an opera?

CRONENBERG: They don't tell me what to do. Your agent is there to help you realize the projects you want. Sure, they're interested in money—they want to get their ten percent—but they work for me.

DEFAMER: Your work has been getting more and more critical acclaim lately. Do you care about winning an Oscar?

CRONENBERG: You have to remember, the movie I did in 1986 won an Oscar.

DEFAMER: Yeah, but for best makeup.

CRONENBERG: You know, everybody disdains the Oscars and wants one at the same time. And I think that's the right attitude. Many wonderful, creative people have won Oscars, so if you win one, you're in their company. And there are also some great filmmakers who have not. So when you don't win an Oscar, you're in that club. But that can never be your motivation. The Oscars are such a lottery. You don't know what films you'll be up against. You don't know what people's attitudes will be. It's foolish to spend two years of your life working on a movie on the off chance that you might win an Oscar.

DEFAMER: Who is it more important to please, yourself or an audience?

CRONENBERG: There's no difference. You are your own audience to begin with. I once met Oliver Stone and he said, "Do you mind being so marginal, with such a small audience?" And I said, "Well, how big of an audience do you need?" There comes a point where if you try to please too big an audience, you lose what was interesting about what you're doing. You have to achieve a balance.

DEFAMER: Why does it seem like all your movies are in some way obsessed with the human body?

CRONENBERG: People don't pay enough attention to the body. My understanding of life is very existential. I think that we are our bodies. There's nothing else, and when we die, that's it. No afterlife. I'm very anti-religious because religion tends to disembody you. There's an emphasis on your spirit, or where you'll be when your body's gone, and that's misleading. I think the world would be a better place if it we admit that's not the case.

DEFAMER: Did you see that BodyWorlds exhibit at the science center here? You of all people would love it!

CRONENBERG: That's what people tell me.

DEFAMER: I've heard you say that you are lazy, but you seem like such an obsessive guy. How is that possible?

CRONENBERG: I get other people to do work for me and then I take credit for it. I say it jokingly, but it's true. I have a desire to be creative, but that's not the same as obsession. I'm happy reading a book or riding my bike through the hills. I get up late, I stay up late. I'm not very well organized unless I'm plugged into a structure like the opera or a movie. When I'm doing that, I have to be organized. But left to my own devices, I like to laze around. I think that's a huge part of creativity. You have to let your mind relax and then another part of your brain suddenly connects with the solution you're trying to find. I nap all the time when I make movies. Often I give my cameraman a very difficult lighting set up so I can get a longer nap.

DEFAMER: What a great scheme. Alright, one last question. Who is weirder, you or David Lynch?

CRONENBERG: Oh, Lynch is way weirder than I am. That's obvious.

(From L To R: Composer Howard Shore, performer Daniel Okulitch, David Cronenberg and conductor Placido Domingo)

[Photo Credits: FilmMagic, Getty Images]

• The Fly: The Opera

DEFAMER: Tropic Thunder was based on an idea by Ben Stiller who then started working on the script with Justin Theroux. Why did they bring you along? ETAN COHEN: In about 2002, Ben Stiller, who's about the busiest guy on the planet, was looking for someone who could do some of the unsexy heavy lifting of fleshing out the script. I think he read an early draft of Idiocracy [which Etan co-wrote with Mike Judge] and thought maybe I was someone he could trust to take it the rest of the way.

DEFAMER: What was it like meeting Ben for the first time?
ETAN: You know, every time I met with Ben he was incredibly intimidating because he was in costume for whatever movie he was working on. I think the first time I was wearing the usual writer's costume and he and was dressed in a full tux like James Bond because he was shooting Along Came Polly.

DEFAMER: What was the writing process like? Did Ben just give you the story and the ideas and say, "go to town?"
ETAN: Ben and Justin gave me a lot of material that I incorporated into a screenplay. Basically, I laid it out into script form and gave it to Ben in stages. When it got to a certain finalized point, I started working more closely with Justin. And then everyone started sending it back and forth. Ben too. But it was rare for all three of us to be in the same place at the same time.

DEFAMER: Any fights about keeping stuff in the script?
ETAN: No fights. You just do what Ben says. I think he knows what he's doing.

DEFAMER: There are lots of huge actors in this movie. As a director, how did Ben Stiller control all those raging egos?
ETAN: Basically, people had tremendous respect for Ben. He was able to command the set. Also he works out like crazy. He got ripped for this part because he was playing an action star and he was super buff. He even had dumbbells on the set. So knowing someone can kick your ass is probably more intimidating than just thinking they're really smart.

DEFAMER: Let's talk about the whole Robert Downey Jr.-in-blackface thing. How sensitive were you to the fact that some people could have been offended?
ETAN: As a writer sometimes you're able to be detached from the reality of what you're writing. I think it was maybe just a funny joke in my mind and I wasn't aware of how crazy it was. It didn't really hit me until I visited the set and I saw Robert taking a break while his stand-in, who was a real African American actor, stayed on camera. Then I realized it was truly insane.

DEFAMER: But do you worry about offending people in your work? I mean, they already took down that Simple Jack site and now the National Down Syndrome Congress is calling for a boycott of the movie.
ETAN: I do worry about it, but I hope that people realize our heart is really in the right place. The statement we're trying to make is not to make fun of those people, but to make fun of the way Hollywood views those people. I would feel terrible if people thought we were making a racist joke or a joke at the expense of handicapped people when what we're really trying to do is say, "Hollywood please stop fetishizing handicapped people."

DEFAMER: Alright, let's change gears here. Tom Cruise plays an evil studio exec in Tropic Thunder. What's it like meeting that dude?
ETAN: It's astounding. He just seems like the healthiest, happiest, most energetic guy you've ever met. He's radiant. He comes to the table and you think he's the biggest superstar, he's certainly earned the right to half-ass it, and he just brings it in the most wonderful and shameless way.

DEFAMER: Please put the rumors to rest. Did Tom base that performance on anyone in particular?
ETAN: I've heard all kinds of theories about that. But in the script it was really just a conglomerate of classic studio bosses going back to Jack Warner.

DEFAMER: I don't want to give anything away, but Tom Cruise dances in this movie. Now do you just write in the script "he dances," and Tom takes it from there?
ETAN: Actually the dancing was his idea! It was something he wanted to do, and to me, it's one of the best parts of the movie. People will see it and remember how great he is. It's a transcendent moment. I wanted that scene to go on for half an hour.

DEFAMER: I have to ask. Any Scientology crap when you met him?
ETAN: You know, I'm a religious person, so when I read that stuff I truly do sympathize with him because anyone's religion can be made to seem crazy by people who don't believe in it. I just have the benefit of my crazy things having happened thousands of years ago.

DEFAMER: Ok, let's talk about your career. What's your work ethic like? Do you write every day? To be douchey about it, what's your process?
ETAN: I have three kids at home so I don't sleep much past five. I try to treat writing like I would any job. You got to put in the hours. You hope if you work enough, some of the hours will coincide with when you're feeling inspired.

DEFAMER: What's next for you?
ETAN: Well, I'm writing the new Sherlock Holmes movie for Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell. And I also have Madagascar 2 coming out. That's something my kids can watch.

DEFAMER: Robert Downey Jr. is in a competing Sherlock movie. Are you concerned about that?
ETAN: I've let him know that LA is a dangerous place. All kinds of things happen. People disappear. I heard he's a martial artist and he should know that I take karate with my daughters, so don't fuck with me.

DEFAMER: But seriously...
ETAN: I think that it's odd, but I also don't think they're really competing projects. Ours is a big comedy and his is a serious action movie. I think there's an appetite for both. That said, at the junket, he was like, "Oh you've got the other Sherlock Holmes movie." And I said, "No you've got the other Sherlock Holmes movie."

DEFAMER: You're a big comedy writer in Hollywood now. You have some heat on you. What does that feel like?
ETAN: It feels pretty awesome. I've heard other people say this, and now I think I understand. People start to say yes more and that's scary feeling because they're gonna let you do what you want, so it's your fault if it's bad. But all in all, it's great.

DEFAMER: Are your agents kissing your ass more?
ETAN: You know, I unfortunately have an agent who was a good friend of mine before he was an agent so he could really be a much better ass-kisser than he is.

DEFAMER: Tropic Thunder opens on Wednesday, August 13 (that's today, kids!). Here is what you are competing with over the weekend: Star Wars: The Clone Wars, the new Woody Allen movie Vicky Christina Barcelona, a horror movie called Mirrors with Keifer Sutherland, and some indie dramedy called Henry Poole Is Here starring Luke Wilson of Idiocracy fame. Why should people go see Tropic Thunder instead of those?
ETAN: I have a history of not helping Luke Wilson's career and I think I'm going to continue to do that. But why should you see our movie over Star Wars and the others? There's a truly amazing scope in our movie that's never been done in a comedy before. I think people will be astounded at how huge it is. I'd say for your ten dollar ticket, you get fifteen dollars of movie.

DEFAMER: Fair enough. One final question. The Dark Knight— greatest movie ever or a little overrated?
ETAN: I didn't even see it yet.

D: So did you actually call Sir Ben Kingsley "Sir Ben" on set?

DH: I did. Absolutely. With pleasure.

D: Yet the viewer gets the sense you have the mandate to continually bust his balls, even off-camera. You also share a fairly shocking moment near the end of the film. What was your relationship like?

DH: It was all written, really. It was a wonderful relationship that seems very real and honest; you can tell the two men really loved each other and respected each other. I think that my character realized that as professors at the university, Sir Ben was probably a little smarter, a little brighter, a little more removed — but certainly not as worldly as my character, who is advising him on having an affair with a younger woman. My character has had many affairs. It's the one moment my character has an up on him. In my career I never had a part that was really seemed like a real person — the emotion, the give and take between Sir Ben and myself were very honest, I thought.

D: Your career is endlessly fascinating: You acted alongside James Dean twice; obviously there's Easy Rider; you've appeared opposite three Oscar-winners in as many films this year alone. Do you ever take stock of how many Hollywood storylines your work intersects?

DH: Yeah, sort of. But not really. I think of my career as a disappointment most of the time. After Easy Rider and The Last Movie, not directing anymore was a really devastating affair for me. And for the last 16 years, trying to direct movies and not getting financing has really been very hard on me. I really want to direct. I know that through the years I've been very fortunate to act; Blue Velvet was wonderful. Apocalypse Now. But if you still always think about directing movies, it's a chore. And I had to take a lot of bad movies at times. Out of 150 movies that I've been in, there are maybe 20 that are really good movies.

D: You've also got TV behind you and in front of you, including an cable adaptation of Crash. It's obviously a pretty polarizing film; will the series follow that same vein?

DH: Well, you'll remember that that was three different stories that sort of all come together in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is still the basis of where it's all happening, though we're shooting in Albuquerque. The writers are the same — Bobby Moresco and Paul Haggis — but the characters are all different. I play a Phil Spector-type music mogul whose always trying to look for the next big move. He's hired a 22-year-old driver from Watts who wants to be a rap star. Their relationship is totally bizarre. But it's wonderfully written and I'm having a good time.

D: But does the world really need 13 more hours of Crash?

DH: These are different characters. But why do they need it? Why does the world need entertainment at all? Do we need TV? We have it. And we do have series, and they're usually 13 in the first run. This is going to be a good 13. I love it because I've never seen such incredible language, and the things you can do on cable television now you can't even get away with in movies. We had an orgy the other day. For me it's a joy.

On a post this morning about Martin Luther King of all people, TMZ claimed an "Exclusive" (though, once they poached the documents, they changed it simply to "Breaking News"):

Note the time stamp. And then look at the post time on this story, with documents, from CN. It's almost a full three hours earlier:

If you look, you find examples like this over and over again. In fact it just happened again while I was writing this! (As our tipster ominously said it would...)

I mean, look, stealing things from other websites is nothing new. It happens allll the time. But this is just embarrassingly egregious. Putting the watermark on the public documents is really the kicker. We'd wager a guess that the TMZers aren't really doing the, you know, reporting of getting those on their own. I mean, they're not exactly The Smoking Gun.

Keep on rockin', Harvey.

We'll let our informant take the floor and set the pre-Hartnett scene for us:

"Kirsten came in on the early side with a matching blonde wingwoman, and she definitely didn't look like the dirty-haired slob most sightings have depicted her as. She was bubbly, giggly, bouncing from friend to friend near the bar and enjoying the music upstairs. At one point she asked me for a cigarette and a light, so I handed her one, but before I could fetch a lighter, some heroic hipster-y looking guy swept up and took over celebrity cigarette lighting responsibilities. She was smiley all night, wearing a girly grunge flannel shirt and skinny jeans. The Olsen twin came in with a huge posse around the same time, but the two stars didn't say a word to each other all night. The MK/Ashley hybrid planted herself by the DJ's booth and chain-smoked all night while hush-hush gossiping with a tight group of friends."

But it seems that as soon as master thespian Josh showed up around 1am, Dunst abandoned her cigarette bumming and devoted all her attention to the newly shaven star:

"As soon as Josh came in with a couple of wingmen of his own, Kirsten went straight towards him and spent a good half hour laughing and chatting him up by the bar — their faces were so close, they might as well have been eskimo-kissing. And even though Kirsten followed Josh whenever he changed rooms, up the stairs when he went up to survey the dance floor still lorded over by the seated Olsen, and down the stairs when he needed a refill, he was definitely reciprocating. The one non-nauseating sight? Didn't see Dunst take one sip of anything. MK/Olsen/Whichever, on the other hand..."

The icing on the cake? Another source tells us, "My friend saw Josh and Kirsten leave together." And somehow we doubt all that flirting didn't end with a handshake on the curb.

[Photo credit: Getty]

• SPIN ME [NYP]

While most will remember the '07 Awards for the Spears trainwreck, it's also worth noting that Kanye West stated after last year's VMAs that he would "never return to MTV" because he felt slighted by having to perform in a hotel suite rather than the main stage. So it appears this decision was not only made to placate the talent, but also because holding this event at a property that they already own represents a significant cost-savings for the penny pinchers at Viacom. As they say, developing...

We started with the recent Tom Cruise controversy. Pinsky told us he has yet to receive any Scary Hollywood Lawyer letters for his comments regarding Cruise being "drawn into a cultish kind of enviroment" due to "neglect in childhood." He did express regret for the choice of terms he used, and apologized if what he said had offended Cruise—but the Jewish-American doctor also expressed outrage at Cruise's lawyer's Bert Field's Nazi comments, questioning if the comparison was racially motivated.

Following that, there's some nice talk previewing what's to come on the second season of Celebrity Rehab, including the return of Jeff Conaway, who, according to the doctor, is "even sicker" than last season. And if you recall what that was like—yikes.

Thanks again to Dr. Drew for being such a great sport. We look forward to sitting down with him again.

• Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew [VH1]

To that end, Defamer worked with a trio of Marilyn Monroe experts in an effort to get to the bottom of Keya Morgan's outrageous claims. The team of Mark Bellinghaus (one of the foremost Marilyn Monroe experts/collectors in the world), Ernest W. Cunningham (author of The Ultimate Marilyn) and freelance journalist Jennifer J. Dickinson to put together the following piece. It's one of the longer pieces that we have ever published at Defamer, but we think that it's well worth your time. And with that, please enjoy. — MDG

DEBUNKING THE MARILYN MONROE "SEX TAPE" HOAX
By Mark Bellinghaus, Ernest W. Cunningham and Jennifer J. Dickinson

On June 26, 1952, Marilyn Monroe testified in court (as pictured) to protect her own reputation from accusations that a mail order pornography ring was selling pictures of her and that she was a participant in this process through solicitation of sales by letter writing. Along with her attorney, she debunked these claims and the pictures themselves, and the two men who created this scam were found guilty of misdemeanor charges, and Marilyn Monroe's name and reputation were cleared.

Nearly 56 years following her own victorious court appearance, Monroe's name is once again being affiliated with a fabricated pornographic claim. Now it is time to have the name Marilyn Monroe cleared once again of false allegations.

Keya Morgan, 38, New York City based memorabilia collector, has spawned a rumor of 16 mm film footage said to be Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex with an unknown male participant in the early 1950's when she was just a starlet. Morgan claims that this is an illicit copy of an FBI classified film of which a copy was made before the original was confiscated by the Feds. According to Mr. Morgan, he brokered the sale of this claimed 15 minute lasting reel to a wealthy New York Businessman for $1.5 million.

"You can see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe," said Morgan—"she has the famous mole. She's smiling, she's very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant."

The happy buyer of this supposed film chooses to remain anonymous but says he has no plans to market the tape. Morgan states: "He's just going to lock it up."

This tale of the sex tape follows on the heels of last month's Marilyn scandal, in which a fellow in Las Vegas called a news conference to display an unknown photo of nude Marilyn, but it turned out to be just nude Madonna. Please click here and here to read our reports on this story.

The real "Marilyn Monroe Nude" pictures are well-documented. She posed nude on red velvet for photographer Tom Kelley on May 27, 1949—photos that showed up for years on calendars and in lawsuits. Lawsuits for obscenity usually turned out to be the Kelley nudes, and were dismissed.

About this same time a short nudie film called The Apple, Knockers, and the Coke Bottle, began making the rounds. It's composed of grainy footage of a bare-chested young woman amusing herself -she's Arline Hunter, a Marilyn lookalike but clearly not Marilyn.

When a journalist or a tabloid show stumbles over a nude photo or nude film footage, the immediate response is usually Marilyn! Or Unseen Marilyn! Or Nude Marilyn!

But if it's not a Tom Kelley red velvet photo or Marilyn in the "Something's Got to Give" nude swim, then it's Arline Hunter and her apple.

If it's none of those, then it's pornography, and it's not Marilyn. She didn't go there.

There are too many holes in the Keya Morgan story. Having talked with Mr. Morgan in our own interview over the phone in the summer of 2007, he spoke quickly and non-stop of his planned television documentary, of conspiracy theories into Monroe's death, and about his alleged friendships with all three Monroe husbands. He claims he was one of the last people to speak to James Dougherty and gave the similar scenario about Dougherty's final words as has been rumored about Joe DiMaggio - that both former spouses on their deathbed spoke about seeing Marilyn on the other side.

In general Mr. Morgan was a name dropper, especially when it came to those notorious for supporting the conspiracy theories involved with the story of Marilyn Monroe. However, he wove into our conversation his claim that he dated Mariah Carey and Renée Zellweger.

The most recent sensationalism of this supposedly existing film footage generated by Mr. Morgan, ties in with the usual opportunistic conspiracy theories that are out there. What Keya Morgan is promoting equates to questionable stories generated simply to sell another book or push another cheesy documentary. Just looking at Mr. Morgan's cast list is enough to know that this is more of the same conspiracy rehash. There's John Miner, Jack Clemmons and Thomas Noguchi, who have changed their stories over the years and cashed in on the various Marilyn Monroe murder theories by being featured in books, articles and television specials.

Keya Morgan went on and on when we were on the phone, speaking of this usual cast of characters. At the time of our conversation with him, we immediately discerned that he was one of them only out to exploit Marilyn Monroe and to come up with something new to fuel the rumor mill of her life.

Yet Keya Morgan claims he would not have gotten his name involved in this latest story, if there was harm to Marilyn Monroe. But he is already too late - Keya Morgan himself is causing harm to the legacy of Marilyn Monroe by creating this outrageous and absurd fantasy (he did not participate in it—he created it!).

There are a few questions that one must immediately ask, the litmus test that proves Mr. Morgan's story about the supposed sex tape to be as bogus as the one caused by the perpetrators against Marilyn Monroe in 1952.

· The film was supposedly made of Marilyn Monroe as a starlet. If filmed in this time period of Monroe's life, why would the feds have cared about the activities of a young starlet, considering that Marilyn Monroe had not reached the heights of fame at the time this footage was claimed to have been filmed?

· "You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe - she has the famous mole." This is a quote by Keya Morgan, which is one of the flimsiest pieces of evidence ever presented. Just because this alleged film has a person with a mole, it's instantly Marilyn Monroe?

· Essentially Morgan is claiming that this is a bootleg copy of a classified FBI film. So if an original is classified, why would the FBI allow this public brouhaha in the press and not stop this sale from taking place? Why would this film copy not be destroyed?

Keya Morgan claims to respect Joe DiMaggio (it is alleged that DiMaggio tried to pay the informant $25,000 for the film and the offer was refused), and Marilyn Monroe even greater. Then why would Mr. Morgan allow this sale considering his "respect" of DiMaggio and Monroe? If he was such a collector looking to protect Marilyn Monroe especially, why would he not keep this supposed film safely in his own collection?

Stay tuned, but you're sure to learn nothing new from the Keya Morgan upcoming documentary, except the usual repetitive death theories (namely, that she was murdered). And Keya Morgan's time in the spotlight for this recent spin is nothing more than an opportunity for him to do just that - soak up some extra time in the limelight with his invented story about a fake flick, at the expense of the legacy of Marilyn Monroe.

Mark Bellinghaus is the leading Marilyn Monroe expert and official expert witness in the Queen Mary/Marilyn Monroe fraud Class Action Lawsuit; Ernest W. Cunningham is the author of 'The Ultimate Marilyn' and plaintiff in the Queen Mary/Marilyn Monroe Fraud Class Action Lawsuit; Jennifer J. Dickinson is a journalist based in New Jersey and a mother of two.

[Photo: Marilyn Monroe, pictured with her attorney on June 26, 1952 testifying in her own defense in Los Angeles Court, when there were accusations that pictures of her were being sold in a pornography ring. It turned out that the accusations were bogus, as were the pictures, and two men who created this scandal were found guilty.

Credit: The Mark Bellinghaus Marilyn Monroe Collection]

While we have no idea whether or not Will Smith is a Scientologist (we have our theories, though), we do know that the prospect of the American public beginning to think that The Fresh Prince might be a Scientologist is enough to make the suits at Sony get nervous. After all, they are investing hundreds of millions of dollars into producing, releasing and marketing their big tentpole film for the summer, Hancock; the last thing they want or need are Anonymous protesters picketing the cineplexes over the July 4th weekend when the movie is released. With that in mind, we would just like to reiterate again that the story we ran yesterday was both fair and accurate, and that we will not be pulling it down.

PREVIOUSLY: Exclusive: Sony Execs Tried To Pressure MSNBC Into Killing Will Smith Scientology Story

"After word got out that Will was a secret Scientologist, reps from Sony [the studio behind Hancock] completely flipped out, and asked that the online exclusive be taken down immediately. After being refused, Sony forced Smith to speak out and release a denial statement."

As our source explained, it appears the folks at Sony weren't the only ones up in arms about the Smith and Scientology claims. Apparently Will and his family have been giving money to the Church for years, though they've done a fantastic job keeping their donations under the radar. Says our source, "After Smith's Scientologist friends saw the denial today, they got incredibly pissed and some asked him, 'you're still gonna donate money, right?'" Considering the secretive nature of many celebrity Scientologists, coupled with an urgent request from a major studio to remove a rumor on a gossip site, it's time to take this story up a notch from rumor to fact. Since when do execs at a studio as powerful as Sony reach out to news-gathering organizations and attempt to use their leverage in order to kill potentially damaging stories? Oh yeah, that's right, since forever! We applaud the folks over at MSNBC for sticking to their guns (and their story).

• Will Smith, Jada the new faces of Scientology? [MSNBC]

"Tonight I received a call from an unknown number saying, 'If you enjoy breathing, shut your fuckin' mouth,' and then they hung up. Tomorrow I think I'll go stay at a friend's place up in the mountains for a while until it all dies down."

Yikes! While we sometimes wake up in fear that crazed LRH disciples have left the severed head of Kirstie Alley in our bed, we are beginning to have some suspicions that perhaps Halperin is getting a wee bit paranoid during his fifteen (well, to be fair, thirty) minutes of bold-faced fame. That said, you can never be too careful.

RELATED: BATTLE OF THE SCIENTOLOGY SCRIBES [DEFAMER]

After joining the church under his homo guise, Halperin discovered it wasn't mainly sexual reparation that scientologists wanted; it was their cash. Former scientologist Michael Pattinson, who joined hoping to 'straighten' out, spent over 500k over 18 years, with no results. He's since sued. This 'auditing' process is vaguely "based on the weird science fiction theology espoused by Hubbard," says Halperin. "Members are expected to take very expensive courses" in order to be "cured." "I found that just about everything about the Church is about money, which makes them not much different than most religions."

But on to the actual celeb scoop. After a 1991 article in Time came out claiming John Travolta was being held hostage in the church, scared that by defecting, they'd reveal everything he'd confessed to them about his homosexuality, he announced his engagement to Kelly Preston two days later. 17 years later, he's still a proud card-carrying member.

As for Tom Cruise?

"The cure was certainly not reserved only for gay men. I was told that the Church would occasionally marry a lesbian celeb off to a gay male celeb, thus killing two birds with one stone. As for names, that shouldn't be too hard to figure out."

The good news? Anna Nicole Smith wasn't as dumb as we thought she was!

"Anna Nicole wanted to join the Church and was strongly considering it until a friend told her about the Church's attitude toward gays. Anna, who was bisexual, decided not to join in fear the Church would reveal her most intimate secrets if she defected."

• Hollywood Undercover [Amazon.com]

Here's the thing. We applaud the way that T.C. lent his fame and stardom to helping the cause in the wake of the terrible events of 9/11, we really do. There are countless numbers of celebrities (who shall go unnamed) that didn't help out in the way that Tom did. The thing that gives us pause, more than anything, is Tom's continued insistence on using hand gestures and onomatopoeia to express his point. In this clip, he gives an energetic "phooot!" to demonstrate the urgency with which Scientologists must leap to action when the going gets tough. Anyone else find this unsettling?

Also, in case you missed it, here's the self-congratulatory clip from The Today Show this morning. We heart you too, Meredith! Tell Natalie Morales to step off for us, will ya?

For more clips, head over to Gawker. They've got scads.

*Everytime you say "Freedom Medal of Valor", we are suggesting that it immediately be followed with a rousing chant of "America, fuck yeah!" Make it happen, people.

Confronted with a question about how things are going without his writers, Daly admits that "none of us are happy to be [in a graveyard- shift hell without people who can whip up jokes to make the time pass more quickly]," but sadly refused to take our operative's bait when offered a chance to weigh in on whether Leno's show has been adversely affected by the absence of his own gag-writing staff.

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• Previously: Striking Writers Disrupt Carson Daly Taping, Ruining His Talk Show Christmas [Defamer]