According to some of our tipsters, shortly after he left the Morris party, McGregor fired superflack Stephen Huvane...at the airport. Was the actor dissatisfied with the film, or had he tired of his publicist's steroidally mendacious ways?

Developing...

[Photo Credit: AP]

It was a happy discovery, made last night along with a giddy crowd of about 1200 at Park City's Eccles Theater for the world premiere of I Love You Phillip Morris. Based on the book of the same name, Morris is the too-strange-for-fiction story of Steven Jay Russell (Carrey), a brilliant Texas con man and prison-escape-artist extraordinaire, who falls deeply for a sweet, blonde Southerner he meets behind bars (McGregor).

Writer/director team Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, the pair who wrote Bad Santa, seem aware that what they found in this wildly unlikely true story—"It really is," a title card insists—is a storytelling goldmine. Their genre-bending script manages the seemingly impossible, ably juggling madcap Coensian crime farce, raunch comedy (with Leslie Mann playing Russell's dumbfounded ex-wife for good measure), and a matter-of-fact gay love story as poignant and frank as anything we found in Milk. No, the camera does not cut away from their passionate kisses or acts of fellative love; dare we say Morris contains some of the most sensitive images of bitch-on-inmate affection that have ever been captured on film.

Ficarra and Requa managed to rein in Carrey's malleable and frequently unhinged skill set, which nicely suits the character's penchant for heart-on-the-sleeve flamboyancy. And while starry-eyed romanticism isn't new territory for the star of Moulin Rouge, the always-surprising McGregor tries something new by allowing himself to become the more passive, pursued half of a doomed entanglement. His Phillip starts out all batted lashes and soft edges, but by the time Russell has pulled his final grift—one of a series of spectacularly executed cons that the audience itself never sees coming—a betrayed Phillip turns ferocious, and ultimately heartbreaking.

The film has yet to find a distributor, leading Ficarra to ask of the appreciative crowd, "Who's buying?" at the post-screening Q & A. A little bit later, Requa revealed some of the mysteries of the feature film casting process, deadpanning, "We sent Jim the script. He said yes. Then we sent Ewan the script. And he said yes."

We're extremely glad they did.

• I Love You Phillip Morris [Trailer Addict]

Boomp3.com

Star Wars star Ewan McGregor practiced using another force on Monday afternoon as he used the hose to clean his own automobiles. The Scottish actor has always held a great deal of apprehension about having his cars cleaned by professionals. McGregor said, “This was back in London and quite a while ago. However, it still doesn’t change my belief about car washes in general. I took my car in and somebody nicked my Blur CDs. Ever since then, don't trust the ruffians who work there.” McGregor then added that it was a risk he was not willing to take and so, every two to three weeks, he gets out the shamwows, hoses and buckets and goes to town. McGregor added, “There’s no better feeling than doing it for yourself. If I do a good job, the old wifey may tip the best way possible, if you know what I mean.”

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

· Noted ménage-à-troisist Tilda Swinton will star in Italian romantic drama Io sono l'amore, or I Am Love. [Variety]
· Edgy, arched-browed teen-movie heartthrobs that time forgot work! Christian Slater and Wes Bentley will star in Dolan's Cadillac, an adaptation of a Stephen King short story. [THR]
· Lifetime is making a movie called Little Girl Lost: The Delimar Vera Story. [THR]

WHAT'S NEW: Baby Mama and Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay will duel for the top spot, with the latter film predicted to ride its franchise basis all the way to No. 1. Its R-rating won't help against the PG-13 Tina Fey vehicle, however, which could lure its core female demographic to an opening take of $13 million. Harold and Kumar's estimates are all over the place — from $11 million to $16.6 million — so wager now for Monday morning bragging rights. Also opening: Errol Morris's Abu Ghraib doc Standard Operating Procedure; the Burt Reynolds gambling drama Deal; and French legend Claude Lelouch's suspenser Roman de Gare.

THE BIG LOSER: Talk about dump-and-run: A-listers Hugh Jackman, Ewan McGregor, and Michelle Williams are hiding in plain sight in the "thriller" Deception, which we didn't even know existed until Variety revealed Fox was throwing it on 2,000 screens this weekend. And the critics love it almost as much as last week's Pacino-Bomb 88 Minutes; with 6% favorable ratings currently at Rotten Tomatoes, the film "was made to be forgotten," writes Onion AV Clubber Scott Tobias.

THE UNDERDOG: We're of two minds about Helen Hunt's directorial debut Then She Found Me. Yes, the sex in the film is quite terrible, and yes, the story lapses perhaps too eagerly at times into rom-com convention. (First mistake: casting Colin Firth.) But! Hunt's story of an adopted, baby-craving New Yorker (Hunt) whose husband leaves just as her birth mother (Bette Midler) reenters her life has way more going for it than we'd thought — Midler, for starters, whose meddling, mendacious mommy is one of her most modulated performances in years. Paired with Hunt, their timing, vulnerability and overall chemistry are as worthy as any of the Fey/Poehler maternity schtick anchoring Baby Mama.

FOR SHUT-INS: You'd be crazy to stay indoors this weekend, but still: New DVD's include Cloverfield, Charlie Wilson's War, The Savages and the most heavily anticipated TV revival of at least the last seven days, Laverne & Shirley: The Complete Fourth Season.

So are you with Team H&K or Baby Mama in the Battle of the Middling Spring Comedies? Will you roll the dice on Deception? Will you trust us on Bette Midler? Go ahead: Now tell us how to spend our weekend.

Back in 1994 when Bruce Willis was still with Demi and still managed to maintain that sexy tough guy image, he revealed the full monty in Color Of Night. And the industry's most dedicated fan of showing off his package, Ewan McGregor, memorably lounged naked throughout several scenes in Young Adam. And we all remember the time from a chiseled Kevin Bacon subtly proved to the world how lucky Kyra Sedgwick is via steamy shower scene in Wild Things.

Before Ewan McGregor, Harvey Keitel was Hollywood's go-to full-frontal actor, stripping down for both Bad Lieutenant and The Piano. But our all-time favorite appearance by a male actor's schlong has to go to Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights. Yes, it was a hefty prosthetic, and no, we don't learn just how much junk Marky Mark is packing, but the highly anticipated revelation of Dirk Diggler's legendary package was worth waiting two porn-y hours for back in 1997.

[Photo credits: Entertainment Weekly, Celebritycandids.com, nudemalestars.com, Maxim, malecelebrities.biz]

• 'FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL' LETS IT ALL HANG OUT [LAT]

7. Skinny Acid-Washed Jeans, Trainspotting, 1996: Sadly, the men-in-skinny-jeans trend has resurfaced and found a permanent spot in post-millenial fashion history, but Mark and his fellow addicts managed to suck all the "chic" out of "heroin chic."

6. Black Leather Trenches, The Matrix, 1999: We never thought one item of clothing could completely destroy Keanu Reeves' sex appeal, but those stiff leather trenches he wore in the future effectively inspired high-school lunatics and killed girl wood on sight.

5. Tighty Whities, Risky Business, 1983: Oh dear. Strange how the singing-in-tighty-whities scene has quiety morphed from a legendary hot moment in movie history to a completely sexless farce now that Tom has laughed maniacally one too many times.

4. Excessively Visible Chest-Hair, Scarface, 1983: Tony's tiny little butt-hugging suits weren't horrendous, but his decision to make them neck-plunging was. With collars unbuttoned down to his heaving bosoms, we felt like we were being cinematically strangled with Cuban chest hair.

3. Flannel Shirts and Pedro 'Staches, Clerks, 1994: There are only two men in history who could pull off the grunge look without looking like homeless hipsters, and they were Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder. However cute and funny you thought Dante was, he still had stains on his faded jeans and holes in his flannels.

2. Codpieces, A Clockwork Orange, 1971: We didn't exactly think Malcolm McDowell and his droogs looked unsexy in their codpieces and top hats, but we're certainly glad men in the 70s waited til Tony Manero danced his way into their closets before picking a solid style icon.

1. Bondage Gear, Edward Scissorhands, 1990: Even Johnny Depp couldn't manage to make Edward's S&M-inspired leather suit a trendy little number. And even though one could argue his cakey make-up and tangled hair led the goth movement into fashion spreads, we're just glad our boyfriends never showed up wearing a patent leather turtleneck.

• 50 FILMS THAT INFLUENCED MEN'S STYLE [Men's Vogue]

1998: Eight years into their marriage, Nicole and Tom sign up to co-star in Stanley Kubrick's final film, Eyes Wide Shut. At an early meeting with Kubrick, Cruise and Kidman held hands and Kubrick told his screenwriter, "It was sweet. . . . They're a truly married couple. It was kinda touching."
1999: Nicole and Tom reportedly tense on the set of Stanley Kubrick's final film, Eyes Wide Shut. London's Daily Mail paper quotes Nicole as yelling at Tom, "This isn't worth it! You have two very unhappy people, who spend too much time apart and have hurt each other too much." Months later, she begins filming Moulin Rouge.
March 2000: Nicole admits to having "a crush" on Ewan while filming; the international press jumps on the story, filing reports of an on-set fling almost weekly.
May 2000: Rouge wraps production in Sydney; Nicole fails to attend the Surry Hills restaurant wrap party. Later that month, she shows upat the Sydney premiere of Tom's Mission Impossible 2, but the pair walks the red carpet separately.
February 2001: Kidman and Cruise officially split, after Nicole receives a letter from Tom's lawyer. Tom is repeatedly quoted as saying, "Ask Nicole. She knows," when asked why.
March 2001: Five weeks later, reports surface that Kidman suffers a miscarriage. According to The Mirror, she was three months pregnant. The Herald Sun claims Nicole "was really shocked to learn she was pregnant. Finally, she manages [to conceive], just as the marriage is coming to an end."
April 2001: Ewan tells The Detroit Free Press, "I didn't have an affair with Nicole Kidman. It was nothing to do with me. I had no idea anything was wrong with the marriage. No idea. And I haven't spoken to her since, so I don't know anything about it."
May 2001: Moulin Rouge premieres at Cannes. The Daily Mail spots Nicole and Ewan sharing cigarettes at a press conference, and later holding hands on he Croisette. High on positive buzz during the festival, Ewan tells the paper, "I call Nicole skanky pants. Don't ask me why. She is so beautiful and gorgeous that I just associate it with her - Nicole, knickers, skanky pants!"
July 2001: Cruise's publicist confirms to the press that he is involved in a relationship with "girlfriend" Penelope Cruz, with whom he was filming Vanilla Sky during their divorce.
June 2003: Ewan tells The Daily Star, "She was one of thoes actresses I was nervous about meeting. After the initial nerves, we got on great. The rumors of a relationship were crazy. We were good mates, nothing more."

According to x17, Hubbard's minions have "already gone on the record describing Morton's entire book as 'a bigoted, defamatory assault replete with lies.'" Replete! Replete, they say! (Were they holding torches while making this statement?) At the time, Nic, Ewan and Tom all agreed on the same story: the baby, er, placenta, was Tom's, but the couple's divorce months later did little to dispel any rumors that the blob belonged to Ewan. Who knew Nicole was so freaky? Oh right. She was married to Tom Cruise. For TEN YEARS. Almost.

RELATED: Save Some Womb For Dessert [Jezebel

• Nicole Kidman Kept Her Placenta? [X17]

"It's a debacle, it's my worst opening weekend ever," Bay said. [...]
Bay bemoaned that the movie had low awareness. Even before it opened, he had sharp words for the marketing campaign, complaining in a Times interview that the effort wasn't generating interest and that a poster made costar Scarlett Johansson look like "a porn star." [...]
Bay cited other possible factors for the movie, which stars Ewan McGregor and Johannson [sic] as clones.
"It could be the subject matter, the lack of stars," he said. "I'm not blaming the whole thing on the marketers." [...]
"Everyone from [Steven] Spielberg to [Robert] Zemeckis to [Stanley] Kubrick — they've all had big flops," he said. "I was five for five. You know it's going to happen."
"It hurts," Bay added. "It's always the director's fault."

Now that Bay's very publicly worked through all of the stages of Classical Flop Acceptance—the Blaming of the Marketing Campaign, the Lashing Out at the One-Sheet, the Accusing Your Actors of Not Being Big Enough Starts to Open a Movie, the Insane Self-Comparison to Award-Winning Directors, and, finally, the Turning Blame Inward to Grudgingly Accept Responsibility as a Function of Inevitability—he's going to be just fine. By the time he finishes his therapeutic afternoon Ferrari flipping, he'll have forgotten all about the pain and moved on to his next project with a clear head.

• Director Calls 'Island' Opening Haul 'a Debacle' [LAT]
• Michael Bay: Anatomy Of A Blowing Shit Up Scene [Defamer]